Step away from the cake, ma'am

The latest follies of US airport security are pushing travellers
to the limits, says Tony Allen-Mills



Britons rushing to America to take advantage of the sinking
dollar would do well to heed the latest US security warning. The
Transportation Security Administration - also known to frequent flyers as
Thousands Standing Around - has advised passengers not to travel with
fruitcake.
Apparently, the dense composition of "heavy" foods such as
fruitcake and Christmas pudding might be mistaken for explosives by airport
screening machines. A passenger whose baggage triggers an alarm might in
turn be subject to intensive search procedures - and those are no laughing
matter. No unsuspecting Briton flying in or out of Fortress America is safe
from a poke in the groin or a fondle under the bra.



While few of us begrudged the enhanced security that smothered
American airports after the tragedy of 9/11, a recent tightening of already
intensive screening procedures is provoking increasing passenger resistance.

Here's the kind of thing you can now expect to see at any
American airport. Jenepher Field, 71, a grandmother who walks with a cane,
was led aside at Kansas City airport for a private inspection of her
breasts. When an 83-year-old California woman was subjected to similar
treatment, she complained to the screener: "For God's sake, what are you
looking for? I've never had anyone do that to me before."

Nor are men immune, as I learnt when flying back to Washington
after a holiday in France this month. I don't really look the Arab-terrorist
type - I'm blond, with blue eyes - and I was travelling with my wife and
18-month-old baby, not something your average terrorist tends to do. None of
which saved me from a hand down my trousers after I was hauled aside for a
random check on the gangway leading to the aircraft.

I couldn't help noticing, as my wife and baby stood helplessly
by and a screener peered at the metal studs on my Mexican cowboy belt, that
several Arab-looking males were sauntering onto the plane.

Of course, that's a racist observation, but it's also the crux
of America's problem. Billions of dollars are being spent on unpleasantly
invasive security procedures that are applied to who, exactly? Kansas
grandmothers and blond Englishmen? The TSA responds that Al-Qaeda is almost
certainly probing US airports for signs of potential weakness. If Osama Bin
Laden notices that a certain group of traveller is immune from security
checks, he will refine his recruiting efforts. "The suggestion that our
screeners should pay less attention to grandmas and babies is like giving a
free pass to terrorists," declares James Loy, former head of the TSA.

I suppose it's just about possible that Bin Laden could find an
American grandmother willing to board a plane with a baby packed with
explosives. Yet I'm far from alone in wondering if the random nature of
these checks owes more to the administration's fear of being sued for
discrimination if it singles out suspect groups - single Arab males, for
one.

In Fortress America, a new book on post-9/11 security, Matthew
Brzezinski quotes a former security director of El Al, the Israeli state
airline, as laughing at American procedures. According to Offer Einav, at
least 80% of airline travellers are good citizens who present no danger. El
Al's system of passenger profiling aims to identify these citizens so that
security resources can be concentrated on the 20% who may present a risk.

"Israel's passenger profiling differed fundamentally from the
American version," writes Brzezinski. "It was used not to roll the dice in
the hope of ferreting out potential hijackers during a random check, but
primarily to identify and eliminate honest travellers."

So, what can a British family do to avoid being singled out for
so-called secondary screening (look for the dreaded SSSS alert on your
boarding passes)? Let me pass on a helpful tip. Choose your Christmas
presents carefully.

After a quick trip to Iowa earlier this year, I stopped at an
antiques shop in Des Moines on my way back to the airport in the hope of
adding to my collection of arcane American objects. I found a delightful tin
can, covered with ancient red paint and bearing a handsome spout. It was
perhaps 75 years old, and I thought it would make an unusual vase to put on
the dining-room table. What I liked most about it was the yellow lettering
that spelt out the word GASOLINE.

I suppose some part of me knew that turning up at an American
airport with a petrol can, even an old and empty one, might prove a risky
venture. I figured I could persuade them that a terrorist would scarcely
attempt to check in with a suitcase marked "Bomb".

Well, you can imagine the rest. I missed my plane, supervisors
were summoned, security lines were paralysed, and I was given a long lecture
about security being no joke.

I eventually got the can back to DC, but only after the captain
of the next available flight agreed to take the risk of flying me. Happy
trails, everyone. And stay away from the fruitcake.

"Chris" > wrote in message
...
> Step away from the cake, ma'am
>
> The latest follies of US airport security are pushing
> travellers to the limits, says Tony Allen-Mills

> Apparently, the dense composition of "heavy" foods such as
> fruitcake and Christmas pudding might be mistaken for explosives by
> airport screening machines.

Anything that reduces the amount of fruitcake in the world is a worthwhile
proposition.

"Michael 182" > wrote in message
news:minxd.214071$5K2.93235@attbi_s03...
>
> "Chris" > wrote in message
> ...
>> Step away from the cake, ma'am
>>
>> The latest follies of US airport security are pushing
>> travellers to the limits, says Tony Allen-Mills
>
>> Apparently, the dense composition of "heavy" foods such as
>> fruitcake and Christmas pudding might be mistaken for explosives by
>> airport screening machines.
>
> Anything that reduces the amount of fruitcake in the world is a worthwhile
> proposition.

That type of fruitcake needs to be eaten with a fine white Stilton cheese.
The cheese balances the richness of the cake.

I know there must be something wrong with me, but I actually like fruitcake.
;-)

mike regish

"Michael 182" > wrote in message
news:minxd.214071$5K2.93235@attbi_s03...
>
> "Chris" > wrote in message
> ...
>> Step away from the cake, ma'am
>>
>> The latest follies of US airport security are pushing
>> travellers to the limits, says Tony Allen-Mills
>
>> Apparently, the dense composition of "heavy" foods such as
>> fruitcake and Christmas pudding might be mistaken for explosives by
>> airport screening machines.
>
> Anything that reduces the amount of fruitcake in the world is a worthwhile
> proposition.
>
>

"mike regish" > wrote:

> I know there must be something wrong with me, but I actually like
> fruitcake. ;-)
>
> mike regish
>
>

You're not alone! We get one every year from Collin St. Bakery in Corsicana, TX. They are excellent.

Mike

Michael 182 wrote...

> Anything that reduces the amount of fruitcake in the world is a worthwhile
> proposition.

I thought there was only one, it just kept getting passed
from family to family over the years.

Dave 'hand-me-down' Hyde

Ahh...fruitcakes. Great ammuniton if you run out of flour bags doing
target runs with your Skyhawk.

> Anything that reduces the amount of fruitcake in the world is a worthwhile
> proposition.

Certainly, anything that reduces the amount of typical Canadian/US
fruitcake, and the price conscious European fruitcake is a good thing.

But to eradicate the real thing would be sacreligious!

Ahhh - but how do you tell I hear you asking - and if you weren't
asking, you're gonna hear anyway :)

The best Christmas cake - which is traditionally a richly decorated high
quality fruit cake, and the better quality Christmas puddings, are made
one year ahead - the one you make this year is for next Christmas.

It is very dense with fruit and contains generous amounts of brandy.
Every couple of months you unwrap it, poke holes through it and add more
brandy. Just before Christmas you decorate it.

If it doesn't have enough fruit or brandy it spoils. If it does have
enough, it matures, just like wine does.

Or, you order one from Fortnum and Mason - not as good as the best
homemade, but reasonably close and a lot less work.

But these that I see in Canada - that actually contain colouring to make
them look dark - lets ship the whole lot through US Customs - hopefully
they'll blow them all up.

Tony - who makes the best brandy sauce on the West Coast :)

--

Tony Roberts
PP-ASEL
VFR OTT
Night
Cessna 172H C-GICE

mike regish wrote:
>
> I know there must be something wrong with me, but I actually like fruitcake.
> ;-)

My grandmother used to make one of the best fruitcakes I ever tasted. I liked
hers, at least.

George Patterson
The desire for safety stands against every great and noble enterprise.

Chris wrote:

> Nor are men immune, as I learnt when flying back to Washington
> after a holiday in France this month. I don't really look the Arab-terrorist
> type - I'm blond, with blue eyes - and I was travelling with my wife and
> 18-month-old baby, not something your average terrorist tends to do. None of
> which saved me from a hand down my trousers after I was hauled aside for a
> random check on the gangway leading to the aircraft.

Any man putting his hand down my trousers will have some serious hurt on him.
And, I don't care if it's some TSA fruitcake (no pun intended). That's an
improper search by TSA's own rules, in public or in the private room.

Also, I like fruitcake. I never understood the problem, unless there are a lot
of people out there that don't know how to make one.

--
Jim

carry on

No lie. When we came back from New England in October, a couple of
jars of Maple Syrup in the luggage set off their bomb detectors. I
saw them wanding and frisking a 7-year-old little girl! I surely felt
safe on that flight, knowing that little blond girl was not carrying
explosive maple syrup on her person.

But many billions are being spent on a miserable failure anti-missle
system, and hundreds of billions on an even worse mid-east war. Does
anyone doubt that Bush's Iraq fiasco has made us far less safe?

If you've ever tasted British christmas pudding, you'd realize that TSA is
doing good work by sealing America's borders to it. It's a concoction only
the British could love!

Shawn
"Chris" > wrote in message
...
> Step away from the cake, ma'am
>
> The latest follies of US airport security are pushing
> travellers to the limits, says Tony Allen-Mills
>
>
>
> Britons rushing to America to take advantage of the sinking
> dollar would do well to heed the latest US security warning. The
> Transportation Security Administration - also known to frequent flyers as
> Thousands Standing Around - has advised passengers not to travel with
> fruitcake.
> Apparently, the dense composition of "heavy" foods such as
> fruitcake and Christmas pudding might be mistaken for explosives by
> airport screening machines. A passenger whose baggage triggers an alarm
> might in turn be subject to intensive search procedures - and those are no
> laughing matter. No unsuspecting Briton flying in or out of Fortress
> America is safe from a poke in the groin or a fondle under the bra.
>
>
>
> While few of us begrudged the enhanced security that smothered
> American airports after the tragedy of 9/11, a recent tightening of
> already intensive screening procedures is provoking increasing passenger
> resistance.
>
> Here's the kind of thing you can now expect to see at any
> American airport. Jenepher Field, 71, a grandmother who walks with a cane,
> was led aside at Kansas City airport for a private inspection of her
> breasts. When an 83-year-old California woman was subjected to similar
> treatment, she complained to the screener: "For God's sake, what are you
> looking for? I've never had anyone do that to me before."
>
> Nor are men immune, as I learnt when flying back to Washington
> after a holiday in France this month. I don't really look the
> Arab-terrorist type - I'm blond, with blue eyes - and I was travelling
> with my wife and 18-month-old baby, not something your average terrorist
> tends to do. None of which saved me from a hand down my trousers after I
> was hauled aside for a random check on the gangway leading to the
> aircraft.
>
> I couldn't help noticing, as my wife and baby stood helplessly
> by and a screener peered at the metal studs on my Mexican cowboy belt,
> that several Arab-looking males were sauntering onto the plane.
>
> Of course, that's a racist observation, but it's also the crux
> of America's problem. Billions of dollars are being spent on unpleasantly
> invasive security procedures that are applied to who, exactly? Kansas
> grandmothers and blond Englishmen? The TSA responds that Al-Qaeda is
> almost certainly probing US airports for signs of potential weakness. If
> Osama Bin Laden notices that a certain group of traveller is immune from
> security checks, he will refine his recruiting efforts. "The suggestion
> that our screeners should pay less attention to grandmas and babies is
> like giving a free pass to terrorists," declares James Loy, former head of
> the TSA.
>
> I suppose it's just about possible that Bin Laden could find an
> American grandmother willing to board a plane with a baby packed with
> explosives. Yet I'm far from alone in wondering if the random nature of
> these checks owes more to the administration's fear of being sued for
> discrimination if it singles out suspect groups - single Arab males, for
> one.
>
> In Fortress America, a new book on post-9/11 security, Matthew
> Brzezinski quotes a former security director of El Al, the Israeli state
> airline, as laughing at American procedures. According to Offer Einav, at
> least 80% of airline travellers are good citizens who present no danger.
> El Al's system of passenger profiling aims to identify these citizens so
> that security resources can be concentrated on the 20% who may present a
> risk.
>
> "Israel's passenger profiling differed fundamentally from the
> American version," writes Brzezinski. "It was used not to roll the dice in
> the hope of ferreting out potential hijackers during a random check, but
> primarily to identify and eliminate honest travellers."
>
> So, what can a British family do to avoid being singled out for
> so-called secondary screening (look for the dreaded SSSS alert on your
> boarding passes)? Let me pass on a helpful tip. Choose your Christmas
> presents carefully.
>
> After a quick trip to Iowa earlier this year, I stopped at an
> antiques shop in Des Moines on my way back to the airport in the hope of
> adding to my collection of arcane American objects. I found a delightful
> tin can, covered with ancient red paint and bearing a handsome spout. It
> was perhaps 75 years old, and I thought it would make an unusual vase to
> put on the dining-room table. What I liked most about it was the yellow
> lettering that spelt out the word GASOLINE.
>
> I suppose some part of me knew that turning up at an American
> airport with a petrol can, even an old and empty one, might prove a risky
> venture. I figured I could persuade them that a terrorist would scarcely
> attempt to check in with a suitcase marked "Bomb".
>
> Well, you can imagine the rest. I missed my plane, supervisors
> were summoned, security lines were paralysed, and I was given a long
> lecture about security being no joke.
>
> I eventually got the can back to DC, but only after the captain
> of the next available flight agreed to take the risk of flying me. Happy
> trails, everyone. And stay away from the fruitcake.
>
>
>
>
>

"Bob Fry" wrote

> But many billions are being spent on a miserable failure anti-missle
> system, and hundreds of billions on an even worse mid-east war. Does
> anyone doubt that Bush's Iraq fiasco has made us far less safe?

As long as you insist on interjecting personal political opinion in a place
where it does not belong, I'll answer.

Yep I doubt it. You are not looking at a possible favorable long term
picture.

By the way, when was the last time there was a terrorist attack ON American
soil? I would rather have our trained, volunteer soldiers fighting on there
soil, as ours.

By the way, don't many new technologies take a while to get the bugs worked
out?

There are two views on every issue, and this is not the proper place to air
them.
--
Jim in NC

In article >, ShawnD2112 wrote:
> If you've ever tasted British christmas pudding, you'd realize that TSA is
> doing good work by sealing America's borders to it.

Then again, Americans drink iced tea and drive on the wrong side of the
road, so I couldn't ever expect them to understand Christmas pudding!

--
Dylan Smith, Castletown, Isle of Man
Flying: http://www.dylansmith.net
Frontier Elite Universe: http://www.alioth.net
"Maintain thine airspeed, lest the ground come up and smite thee"

"Morgans" > writes:

> Yep I doubt it. You are not looking at a possible favorable long term
> picture.

Possible, rather unlikely. I've worked with mid-easterners for many
years. There is no way they are ready for democracy and there is no
way a government favorable to the West--let alone the US--will be
installed, and last, in Iraq. Not for decades.

> By the way, when was the last time there was a terrorist attack ON American
> soil? I would rather have our trained, volunteer soldiers fighting on there
> soil, as ours.

Oh, like the Iraq war prevented new attacks? I doubt even you believe
that. Probably Bush doesn't by now.

> By the way, don't many new technologies take a while to get the bugs worked
> out?

Yes, but you've missed the point.

There are limited resources--dollars--to spend (in spite of Bush's
huge deficits). Therefore the rational thing to do is seek the most
effective marginal rate of return on those dollars. This we have not
done at all, and I cited two examples: checking container cargo and
chasing down Russia's loose nuke material. Doing those properly would
give us far more safety than the current policies at much less cost.

> There are two views on every issue, and this is not the proper place to air
> them.

Especially when a view contradicts yours, eh? If we can talk
fruitcake we can talk Bush's simplistic and ideologic politics.

The words "fruit" and "cake" should never be used in the same sentence,
let alone be combined in some desperate effort to make a dish that is
to be called "desert".

C'mon, people. Is this not obvious?

Dave Blevins
(remembering Kroger's fruitcake with a shudder)



On Sun, 19 Dec 2004 20:48:40 -0000, "Chris" > wrote:

> Step away from the cake, ma'am
>
> The latest follies of US airport security are pushing travellers
>to the limits, says Tony Allen-Mills
>
>
>
> Britons rushing to America to take advantage of the sinking
>dollar would do well to heed the latest US security warning. The
>Transportation Security Administration - also known to frequent flyers as
>Thousands Standing Around - has advised passengers not to travel with
>fruitcake.
> Apparently, the dense composition of "heavy" foods such as
>fruitcake and Christmas pudding might be mistaken for explosives by airport
>screening machines. A passenger whose baggage triggers an alarm might in
>turn be subject to intensive search procedures - and those are no laughing
>matter. No unsuspecting Briton flying in or out of Fortress America is safe
>from a poke in the groin or a fondle under the bra.
>
>
>
> While few of us begrudged the enhanced security that smothered
>American airports after the tragedy of 9/11, a recent tightening of already
>intensive screening procedures is provoking increasing passenger resistance.
>
> Here's the kind of thing you can now expect to see at any
>American airport. Jenepher Field, 71, a grandmother who walks with a cane,
>was led aside at Kansas City airport for a private inspection of her
>breasts. When an 83-year-old California woman was subjected to similar
>treatment, she complained to the screener: "For God's sake, what are you
>looking for? I've never had anyone do that to me before."
>
> Nor are men immune, as I learnt when flying back to Washington
>after a holiday in France this month. I don't really look the Arab-terrorist
>type - I'm blond, with blue eyes - and I was travelling with my wife and
>18-month-old baby, not something your average terrorist tends to do. None of
>which saved me from a hand down my trousers after I was hauled aside for a
>random check on the gangway leading to the aircraft.
>
> I couldn't help noticing, as my wife and baby stood helplessly
>by and a screener peered at the metal studs on my Mexican cowboy belt, that
>several Arab-looking males were sauntering onto the plane.
>
> Of course, that's a racist observation, but it's also the crux
>of America's problem. Billions of dollars are being spent on unpleasantly
>invasive security procedures that are applied to who, exactly? Kansas
>grandmothers and blond Englishmen? The TSA responds that Al-Qaeda is almost
>certainly probing US airports for signs of potential weakness. If Osama Bin
>Laden notices that a certain group of traveller is immune from security
>checks, he will refine his recruiting efforts. "The suggestion that our
>screeners should pay less attention to grandmas and babies is like giving a
>free pass to terrorists," declares James Loy, former head of the TSA.
>
> I suppose it's just about possible that Bin Laden could find an
>American grandmother willing to board a plane with a baby packed with
>explosives. Yet I'm far from alone in wondering if the random nature of
>these checks owes more to the administration's fear of being sued for
>discrimination if it singles out suspect groups - single Arab males, for
>one.
>
> In Fortress America, a new book on post-9/11 security, Matthew
>Brzezinski quotes a former security director of El Al, the Israeli state
>airline, as laughing at American procedures. According to Offer Einav, at
>least 80% of airline travellers are good citizens who present no danger. El
>Al's system of passenger profiling aims to identify these citizens so that
>security resources can be concentrated on the 20% who may present a risk.
>
> "Israel's passenger profiling differed fundamentally from the
>American version," writes Brzezinski. "It was used not to roll the dice in
>the hope of ferreting out potential hijackers during a random check, but
>primarily to identify and eliminate honest travellers."
>
> So, what can a British family do to avoid being singled out for
>so-called secondary screening (look for the dreaded SSSS alert on your
>boarding passes)? Let me pass on a helpful tip. Choose your Christmas
>presents carefully.
>
> After a quick trip to Iowa earlier this year, I stopped at an
>antiques shop in Des Moines on my way back to the airport in the hope of
>adding to my collection of arcane American objects. I found a delightful tin
>can, covered with ancient red paint and bearing a handsome spout. It was
>perhaps 75 years old, and I thought it would make an unusual vase to put on
>the dining-room table. What I liked most about it was the yellow lettering
>that spelt out the word GASOLINE.
>
> I suppose some part of me knew that turning up at an American
>airport with a petrol can, even an old and empty one, might prove a risky
>venture. I figured I could persuade them that a terrorist would scarcely
>attempt to check in with a suitcase marked "Bomb".
>
> Well, you can imagine the rest. I missed my plane, supervisors
>were summoned, security lines were paralysed, and I was given a long lecture
>about security being no joke.
>
> I eventually got the can back to DC, but only after the captain
>of the next available flight agreed to take the risk of flying me. Happy
>trails, everyone. And stay away from the fruitcake.
>
>
>

Dylan tsk, tsk... All that boiled mutton has affected your neurons...
Tis thee that drives on the wrong side of the road... However, I do
prefer my tea piping hot...

Now, having gotten the obligatory insults out of the way, I saw a blurb
a couple of days ago where three British citizens were killed/injured
in an auto accident down in Florida... The very brief article implied
that they turned/dodged the wrong way in a traffic situation... I
haven't heard anything since in the american media... Did that story
show up in your press with any further details? I suspect that a
lifetime of honed EU driving reflexes could be a major liability in a
sudden situation on the road in the USA, and vice versa......
Denny - Irish by genetics, American by birth, Ugly by choice...

"Denny" > wrote:

> [..] I suspect that a
> lifetime of honed EU driving reflexes could be a major liability in a
> sudden situation on the road in the USA, and vice versa......

Well, even though the UK is (still :-) part of the EU, most driving in the
continental European Union should in fact prepare you quite nicely for
driving in the US. Coming from German roads, I found it rather easy to
adjust, that is once I got used to having much more space around me and
everything happening at half-speed... :-)


Season's greetings,
Markus

Mike Adams > wrote:
>"mike regish" > wrote:
>
>> I know there must be something wrong with me, but I actually like
>> fruitcake. ;-)
>
>You're not alone! We get one every year from Collin St. Bakery in
>Corsicana, TX. They are excellent.

Ah, but the best part is the retail store in Corsicana. It's the
bakery for the town -- wonderful brownies, pasteries, cookies, etc.

"Bob Fry" > wrote in message
...
>
> But many billions are being spent on a miserable failure anti-missle
> system, and hundreds of billions on an even worse mid-east war. Does
> anyone doubt that Bush's Iraq fiasco has made us far less safe?

Of course, everyone who is not a corrupt political hack doubts statements
like that.

"Bob Fry" > wrote in message
> Especially when a view contradicts yours, eh? If we can talk
> fruitcake we can talk Bush's simplistic and ideologic politics.

I agree Bush is a fruitcake.

> > There are two views on every issue, and this is not the proper place to
air them.


> Especially when a view contradicts yours, eh? If we can talk
> fruitcake we can talk Bush's simplistic and ideologic politics.

Just don't take my silence to your clever reply as agreement, or
disagreement. I'm willing to put my actions where my beliefs are, and not
clutter this *great forum*, with things as personal and unchanging as
politics and religion. They don't belong here.

How about you? Are you willing to talk planes instead of politics?
--
Jim in NC

On Tue, 21 Dec 2004 15:30:06 -0500, "Morgans"
> wrote:

>How about you? Are you willing to talk planes instead of politics?


I am!

z

(Thinking that plane talk is what these forums are all about, but
sometimes wondering if the group's been mis-named.)

"Morgans" > writes:

> How about you? Are you willing to talk planes instead of politics?

Sure.

First clear day in a couple of weeks (we get radiation fog in
California's Central Valley every winter), so I left work early to
warm up the oil in the Aircoupe.

Heading south from the Sacramento area to the Delta, a strong north
wind at altitude let me achieve 160 mph groundspeed. I don't see that
often on the GPS. Then I turned 180 deg to see how slow I could get;
briefly held below 10 mph groundspeed! Great fun on a brisk winter
day. Everything has greened up and the ducks, geese, and large white
birds, possibly sandhill cranes, were all flying around in flocks
below. North California, a great place to fly.

"Bob Fry" > wrote in message
...
> "Morgans" > writes:
>
> > How about you? Are you willing to talk planes instead of politics?
>
> Sure.
>
> First clear day in a couple of weeks (we get radiation fog in
> California's Central Valley every winter), so I left work early to
> warm up the oil in the Aircoupe.
>
> Heading south from the Sacramento area to the Delta, a strong north
> wind at altitude let me achieve 160 mph groundspeed. I don't see that
> often on the GPS. Then I turned 180 deg to see how slow I could get;
> briefly held below 10 mph groundspeed! Great fun on a brisk winter
> day. Everything has greened up and the ducks, geese, and large white
> birds, possibly sandhill cranes, were all flying around in flocks
> below. North California, a great place to fly.

Sounds great!

See, that wasn't so hard, was it? <g>
--
Jim in NC

Or no speed at all.
They are very serious when they call something a traffic jam.