Building my own Zeppelin

[Alberto Panno-Peano]

I want to want to build an evil Zeppelin to fly around and terrorize the people.

What do I need ?

[Tarver Engineering]

"Alberto Panno-Peano" > wrote in message
om...
> I want to want to build an evil Zeppelin to fly around and terrorize the
people.
>
> What do I need ?

A big bag and lots of hydrogen gas.

[Harry O]

You will need a lot of hot air. You came to the right place for that.

"Alberto Panno-Peano" > wrote in message
om...
> I want to want to build an evil Zeppelin to fly around and terrorize the
people.
>
> What do I need ?

[Morgans]

"Harry O" > wrote: Nothing worth while.

Please, don't feed the trolls.

[C J Campbell]

"Alberto Panno-Peano" > wrote in message
om...
| I want to want to build an evil Zeppelin to fly around and terrorize the
people.
|
| What do I need ?

That would be a lot of fun, wouldn't it? Best would be an open gondola
Zeppelin so that you could leer over the side wearing a leather helmet,
scarf and goggles. A megaphone to amplify your maniacal laugh and maybe a
scantily clad blonde sidekick screaming for help would complete the picture.
Of course, some of the guys here would love the chance to come roaring up in
their Nieuports to bring you down with incendiary rockets. Better to just
forget the idea.

[Dude]

Lots of money, how much you got?


"Alberto Panno-Peano" > wrote in message
om...
> I want to want to build an evil Zeppelin to fly around and terrorize the
people.
>
> What do I need ?

[Richard Riley]

On Sun, 25 Jan 2004 18:10:19 -0800, "C J Campbell"
> wrote:

:
:"Alberto Panno-Peano" > wrote in message
. com...
:| I want to want to build an evil Zeppelin to fly around and terrorize the
:people.
:|
:| What do I need ?
:
:That would be a lot of fun, wouldn't it? Best would be an open gondola
:Zeppelin so that you could leer over the side wearing a leather helmet,
:scarf and goggles. A megaphone to amplify your maniacal laugh and maybe a
:scantily clad blonde sidekick screaming for help would complete the picture.
:Of course, some of the guys here would love the chance to come roaring up in
:their Nieuports to bring you down with incendiary rockets. Better to just
:forget the idea.

And a fez. You'd have to have a red fez.

[Eric Miller]

"Alberto Panno-Peano" > wrote in message
om...
> I want to want to build an evil Zeppelin to fly around and terrorize the
people.
>
> What do I need ?

You can start by stopping off at your local party supply store and asking
for 18,869,217 helium ballons, and some netting to hold them all. Spring for
the mylar ones, they last longer.

Eric

[Aardvark]

Eric Miller wrote:
> "Alberto Panno-Peano" > wrote in message
> om...
>
>>I want to want to build an evil Zeppelin to fly around and terrorize the
>
> people.
>
>>What do I need ?
>
http://www.markbarry.com/lawnchairman.html

[Ron Wanttaja]

On Mon, 26 Jan 2004 12:55:01 GMT, "Eric Miller" > wrote:

>"Alberto Panno-Peano" > wrote in message
om...
>> I want to want to build an evil Zeppelin to fly around and terrorize the
>people.
>>
>> What do I need ?
>
>You can start by stopping off at your local party supply store and asking
>for 18,869,217 helium ballons, and some netting to hold them all. Spring for
>the mylar ones, they last longer.

Not the mylar ones, they have too large a radar signature. The forces of
good will be able to track you to your secret mountain fortress too easily.

Ron Wanttaja

[C J Campbell]

"Ron Wanttaja" > wrote in message
...
| On Mon, 26 Jan 2004 12:55:01 GMT, "Eric Miller" > wrote:
|
| >"Alberto Panno-Peano" > wrote in message
| om...
| >> I want to want to build an evil Zeppelin to fly around and terrorize
the
| >people.
| >>
| >> What do I need ?
| >
| >You can start by stopping off at your local party supply store and asking
| >for 18,869,217 helium ballons, and some netting to hold them all. Spring
for
| >the mylar ones, they last longer.
|
| Not the mylar ones, they have too large a radar signature. The forces of
| good will be able to track you to your secret mountain fortress too
easily.

Hydrogen is the only way to go. Otherwise how will your secret mountain
fortress blow itself up when the good hero destroys you? Modern villains
usually have the computer do it, but the Universal Explodatron 9000 would
look out of place with your secret Zeppelin works, hydrogen refinery, and
sub-human minions. You wouldn't want any electronics more advanced than
maybe a Tesla coil or some Jacobs ladders for effect.

[Tarver Engineering]

"C J Campbell" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Ron Wanttaja" > wrote in message
> ...
> | On Mon, 26 Jan 2004 12:55:01 GMT, "Eric Miller" >
wrote:
> |
> | >"Alberto Panno-Peano" > wrote in message
> | om...
> | >> I want to want to build an evil Zeppelin to fly around and terrorize
> the
> | >people.
> | >>
> | >> What do I need ?
> | >
> | >You can start by stopping off at your local party supply store and
asking
> | >for 18,869,217 helium ballons, and some netting to hold them all.
Spring
> for
> | >the mylar ones, they last longer.
> |
> | Not the mylar ones, they have too large a radar signature. The forces
of
> | good will be able to track you to your secret mountain fortress too
> easily.
>
> Hydrogen is the only way to go. Otherwise how will your secret mountain
> fortress blow itself up when the good hero destroys you? Modern villains
> usually have the computer do it, but the Universal Explodatron 9000 would
> look out of place with your secret Zeppelin works, hydrogen refinery, and
> sub-human minions. You wouldn't want any electronics more advanced than
> maybe a Tesla coil or some Jacobs ladders for effect.

Plus, a little electricity and hydrogen is only about $4 a gallon to make.

[Tarver Engineering]

"Tarver Engineering" > wrote in message
...
>
> "C J Campbell" > wrote in message
> ...
> >
> > "Ron Wanttaja" > wrote in message
> > ...
> > | On Mon, 26 Jan 2004 12:55:01 GMT, "Eric Miller" >
> wrote:
> > |
> > | >"Alberto Panno-Peano" > wrote in message
> > | om...
> > | >> I want to want to build an evil Zeppelin to fly around and
terrorize
> > the
> > | >people.
> > | >>
> > | >> What do I need ?
> > | >
> > | >You can start by stopping off at your local party supply store and
> asking
> > | >for 18,869,217 helium ballons, and some netting to hold them all.
> Spring
> > for
> > | >the mylar ones, they last longer.
> > |
> > | Not the mylar ones, they have too large a radar signature. The forces
> of
> > | good will be able to track you to your secret mountain fortress too
> > easily.
> >
> > Hydrogen is the only way to go. Otherwise how will your secret mountain
> > fortress blow itself up when the good hero destroys you? Modern villains
> > usually have the computer do it, but the Universal Explodatron 9000
would
> > look out of place with your secret Zeppelin works, hydrogen refinery,
and
> > sub-human minions. You wouldn't want any electronics more advanced than
> > maybe a Tesla coil or some Jacobs ladders for effect.
>
> Plus, a little electricity and hydrogen is only about $4 a gallon to make.

Ooops, $4 for hydrogen from natural gas, $12 a gallon from water.

[C J Campbell]

"Tarver Engineering" > wrote in message
...
| >
| > Plus, a little electricity and hydrogen is only about $4 a gallon to
make.
|
| Ooops, $4 for hydrogen from natural gas, $12 a gallon from water.

What self respecting egomaniac would locate his mountain fortress in a place
that had no swamps? You need the swamp gas for your hydrogen, plus the swamp
will help protect your mountain fortress with its snakes, insects,
crocodiles, and primitive tribes of cannibals armed with poison darts. The
swamp should also contain at least one extinct species of giant carnivore --
something like a tyrannosaurus rex.

The mountain also provides a free energy source. Since these mountain
fortresses are invariably located inside dormant volcanoes, you can use the
thermal heating for generating electricity and processing your swamp gas. It
is best if the mountain itself also provides you with the various ores you
need, including radium for your radium guns. This also helps guarantee that
all your minions will be mutants.

Of course, the mutants, primitive tribesmen, and critters all have to eat.
The forces of good usually have some expendable members, but they are not
enough. The mountain fortress needs to be near a good food supply, so a
tropical island archipelago is a good candidate. It is not uncomfortable and
nasty as the arctic, and you can have a subject tribe of peaceful villagers
that do the fishing, handle commerce with the outside world, and generally
put a friendly front on your evil empire. This tribe will also supply
sacrificial virgins for your own entertainment and to keep the volcano from
erupting. Enslaving their children to do your mining is also useful, but
watch out that the peaceful villagers do not attract the attention of the
forces of good before you are ready.

Also, if you do choose a tropical archipelago, you must be very careful not
to attract the attention of powers even stronger and more evil than you are,
such as Cthulhu.

[Tarver Engineering]

"C J Campbell" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Tarver Engineering" > wrote in message
> ...
> | >
> | > Plus, a little electricity and hydrogen is only about $4 a gallon to
> make.
> |
> | Ooops, $4 for hydrogen from natural gas, $12 a gallon from water.
>
> What self respecting egomaniac would locate his mountain fortress in a
place
> that had no swamps? You need the swamp gas for your hydrogen, plus the
swamp
> will help protect your mountain fortress with its snakes, insects,
> crocodiles, and primitive tribes of cannibals armed with poison darts. The
> swamp should also contain at least one extinct species of giant
carnivore --
> something like a tyrannosaurus rex.

But, water derived hydrogen has the added benifit of LOX. Consider for a
moment the enhanced escape capability of a cyro-engined Zepplin. It would
be as though God had lit off a fart. The forces of good would be in for a
considerable surprise.

> The mountain also provides a free energy source. Since these mountain
> fortresses are invariably located inside dormant volcanoes, you can use
the
> thermal heating for generating electricity and processing your swamp gas.
It
> is best if the mountain itself also provides you with the various ores you
> need, including radium for your radium guns. This also helps guarantee
that
> all your minions will be mutants.

An army of mutants and a fleet of zeppelins. Yes, of course, I can see
where you are going now.

> Of course, the mutants, primitive tribesmen, and critters all have to eat.
> The forces of good usually have some expendable members, but they are not
> enough. The mountain fortress needs to be near a good food supply, so a
> tropical island archipelago is a good candidate.

I believe I can see the movie already!

> It is not uncomfortable and
> nasty as the arctic, and you can have a subject tribe of peaceful
villagers
> that do the fishing, handle commerce with the outside world, and generally
> put a friendly front on your evil empire. This tribe will also supply
> sacrificial virgins for your own entertainment and to keep the volcano
from
> erupting. Enslaving their children to do your mining is also useful, but
> watch out that the peaceful villagers do not attract the attention of the
> forces of good before you are ready.

The virgins would of course be sacrificed to yourself and me, to thank us
for "the plan".

> Also, if you do choose a tropical archipelago, you must be very careful
not
> to attract the attention of powers even stronger and more evil than you
are,
> such as Cthulhu.

What about Dr. Evil?

[VideoFlyer]

Yeah....I think all of you have been processing a little too much swamp gas!

[Russell Kent]

Eric Miller wrote:

> You can start by stopping off at your local party supply store and asking for
> 18,869,217 helium ballons, and some netting to hold them all. Spring for the
> mylar ones, they last longer.

Ron Wanttaja replied:

> Not the mylar ones, they have too large a radar signature. The forces of good
> will be able to track you to your secret mountain fortress too easily.

Actually, it's the aluminization of the Mylar(tm) that increases the radar
signature, so if you can get clear Mylar(tm) balloons, you should be ok. Yet
another example where aluminization of the aircraft structure is a Bad Idea. :-)

Russell Kent

[C J Campbell]

"Tarver Engineering" > wrote in message
...
|
| > Of course, the mutants, primitive tribesmen, and critters all have to
eat.
| > The forces of good usually have some expendable members, but they are
not
| > enough. The mountain fortress needs to be near a good food supply, so a
| > tropical island archipelago is a good candidate.
|
| I believe I can see the movie already!
|

This may be a job for the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen!

[hjarrett]

Some trolls are just too much fun not to feed.
Hank J
"Morgans" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Harry O" > wrote: Nothing worth while.
>
> Please, don't feed the trolls.
>
>




-----= Posted via Newsfeeds.Com, Uncensored Usenet News =-----
http://www.newsfeeds.com - The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World!
-----== Over 100,000 Newsgroups - 19 Different Servers! =-----

[Ron Wanttaja]

On Mon, 26 Jan 2004 14:39:15 -0800, "C J Campbell"
> wrote:

>"Tarver Engineering" > wrote in message
...
>|
>| > Of course, the mutants, primitive tribesmen, and critters all have to
>eat.
>| > The forces of good usually have some expendable members, but they are
>not
>| > enough. The mountain fortress needs to be near a good food supply, so a
>| > tropical island archipelago is a good candidate.
>|
>| I believe I can see the movie already!
>
>This may be a job for the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen!

I think we'll have to be satisfied with the Association of RAH Ilk....

Ron Wanttaja

[Ron Wanttaja]

On Mon, 26 Jan 2004 15:07:20 -0600, Russell Kent > wrote:

>>> You can start by stopping off at your local party supply store and asking for
>>> 18,869,217 helium ballons, and some netting to hold them all. Spring for the
>>> mylar ones, they last longer.
>
>> Not the mylar ones, they have too large a radar signature. The forces of good
>> will be able to track you to your secret mountain fortress too easily.
>
>Actually, it's the aluminization of the Mylar(tm) that increases the radar
>signature, so if you can get clear Mylar(tm) balloons, you should be ok. Yet
>another example where aluminization of the aircraft structure is a Bad Idea. :-)

But...but...that's *perfect*. A transparent, evil, hydrogen-filled, swamp
gas-injesting zep. It beats Wonder Woman's invisible SR-71 all to
heck....

Ron Wanttaja

[Morgans]

"hjarrett" > wrote in message
...
> Some trolls are just too much fun not to feed.
> Hank J


So I see!

[John Ousterhout]

On Sun, 25 Jan 2004 18:10:19 -0800, "C J Campbell"
> wrote:

>That would be a lot of fun, wouldn't it? Best would be an open gondola
>Zeppelin so that you could leer over the side wearing a leather helmet,
>scarf and goggles. A megaphone to amplify your maniacal laugh and maybe a
>scantily clad blonde sidekick screaming for help would complete the picture.
>Of course, some of the guys here would love the chance to come roaring up in
>their Nieuports to bring you down with incendiary rockets. Better to just
>forget the idea.

ROCKETS! That's what I need. In WWI some of the Nieuport fighter
used the rockets to shoot down observation ballons. With no balloons
around I didn't install rockets on my Nieuport. But in the absence of
balloons a Zeppelin will make a fine target.

Dick Lemons of the Kansas CIty Dawn Patrol has rockets on his
Nieuport.
http://mywebpages.comcast.net/ousterj/dick_l_and_dick_s.jpg

- John (future Nieuport pilot) Ousterhout -

[Eric Miller]

"C J Campbell" > wrote in message
...
> |
>
> This may be a job for the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen!

Ok, I"m not extraordinary, and maybe I'm not a gentleman, but I still don't
understand why you don't invite me to join your league...

[B2431]

>(Alberto Panno-Peano)

>
>I want to want to build an evil Zeppelin to fly around and terrorize the
>people.
>
>What do I need ?
>
>
If you want to build a duplicate of the Hindenburg and use helium for safety
(which is what it was designed to use) you will needa about 6.5 million cubic
feet of helium. Price that before you get too excited.

Dan, U.S. Air Force, retired

[B2431]

>From: (VideoFlyer)
>
>
>Yeah....I think all of you have been processing a little too much swamp gas!
>
Not swamp gas. More like being down wind from tarver and breathing his
effluence. Now that would make quite a fireball if one chose to ignite it.

Dan, U. S. Air Force, retired

[B2431]

>From: Ron Wanttaja
>Date: 1/26/2004 8:32 PM Central Standard Time
>Message-id: >
>
>On Mon, 26 Jan 2004 15:07:20 -0600, Russell Kent > wrote:
>
>>>> You can start by stopping off at your local party supply store and asking
>for
>>>> 18,869,217 helium ballons, and some netting to hold them all. Spring for
>the
>>>> mylar ones, they last longer.
>>
>>> Not the mylar ones, they have too large a radar signature. The forces of
>good
>>> will be able to track you to your secret mountain fortress too easily.
>>
>>Actually, it's the aluminization of the Mylar(tm) that increases the radar
>>signature, so if you can get clear Mylar(tm) balloons, you should be ok.
>Yet
>>another example where aluminization of the aircraft structure is a Bad Idea.
>:-)
>
>But...but...that's *perfect*. A transparent, evil, hydrogen-filled, swamp
>gas-injesting zep. It beats Wonder Woman's invisible SR-71 all to
>heck....
>
>Ron Wanttaja
>
Go with helium so you can smoke cheap cigars in between attacks.

Dan, U.S. Air Force, retired

[Daniel]

Richard Riley wrote ...
> ...
> And a fez. You'd have to have a red fez.

Dammit Richard! If I wanted a hot caffiene lavage of my nasal
passages (and keyboard) I would have asked for one!

Daniel

[Wright1902Glider]

Lets not forget the sound system. You could have Wick's custom-build a
lightweight pipe organ for you! (Yep, they build pipe organs right across the
street from the avaition supply shop.) Now that would be truly evil! And no
self-respecting bad-guy would make terror without pipe organ music, would he?

Harry

[FIyer111]

LOLOL

[Howard Eisenhauer]

Evil Villain Fortresse Lairs for sale here:

http://www.villainsupply.com/lairs.html

The Evil Volcano Lair is about halfway down the page :).

I'd suggest you don't use thier on-line checkout, doesn't seem to be a
secure site.

H.

On Tue, 27 Jan 2004 02:30:21 GMT, Ron Wanttaja >
wrote:

>On Mon, 26 Jan 2004 14:39:15 -0800, "C J Campbell"
> wrote:
>
>>"Tarver Engineering" > wrote in message
...
>>|
>>| > Of course, the mutants, primitive tribesmen, and critters all have to
>>eat.
>>| > The forces of good usually have some expendable members, but they are
>>not
>>| > enough. The mountain fortress needs to be near a good food supply, so a
>>| > tropical island archipelago is a good candidate.
>>|
>>| I believe I can see the movie already!
>>
>>This may be a job for the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen!
>
>I think we'll have to be satisfied with the Association of RAH Ilk....
>
>Ron Wanttaja

[B2431]

>From: Howard Eisenhauer

>
>Evil Villain Fortresse Lairs for sale here:
>
>http://www.villainsupply.com/lairs.html
>
>The Evil Volcano Lair is about halfway down the page :).
>
>I'd suggest you don't use thier on-line checkout, doesn't seem to be a
>secure site.
>
>H.
>
>On Tue, 27 Jan 2004 02:30:21 GMT, Ron Wanttaja >
>wrote:
>
>>On Mon, 26 Jan 2004 14:39:15 -0800, "C J Campbell"
> wrote:
>>
>>>"Tarver Engineering" > wrote in message
...
>>>|
>>>| > Of course, the mutants, primitive tribesmen, and critters all have to
>>>eat.
>>>| > The forces of good usually have some expendable members, but they are
>>>not
>>>| > enough. The mountain fortress needs to be near a good food supply, so a
>>>| > tropical island archipelago is a good candidate.
>>>|
>>>| I believe I can see the movie already!
>>>
>>>This may be a job for the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen!
>>
>>I think we'll have to be satisfied with the Association of RAH Ilk....
>>
>>Ron Wanttaja
>
Do you have to wear a monocle when useing these lairs?

Dan, U.S. Air Force, retired

[Dan Thomas]

No wonder it takes some of you so long to build an airplane.

Dan

[StellaStar]

Dan, USAF/R, sez:
>Do you have to wear a monocle when useing these lairs?

And which is harder, keeping the monocle squinched into your eye socket, or
finding a reliable SIC who answers to "You FOOOL!," the common form of address
by any Evil Zeppelin-Equipped Madman...er, Madperson.

[B2431]

>From: (StellaStar)
>Date: 2/11/2004 11:02 PM Central Standard Time
>Message-id: >
>
>Dan, USAF/R, sez:
>>Do you have to wear a monocle when useing these lairs?
>
>And which is harder, keeping the monocle squinched into your eye socket, or
>finding a reliable SIC who answers to "You FOOOL!," the common form of
>address
>by any Evil Zeppelin-Equipped Madman...er, Madperson.

Well, there IS an image to uphold, you know. There are things expected of a
megalomaniac. For instance, if your lair is a castle you simply have to have a
pipe organ and be able to play Bach's Taccotta and fugue in D minor (also known
as Batch's tapioca and fudge in asia minor). Being evil is an art form.

Dan, U.S. Air Force, retired

[Pete Schaefer]

"B2431" > wrote in message
...
> megalomaniac. For instance, if your lair is a castle you simply have to
have a
> pipe organ and be able to play Bach's Taccotta and fugue in D minor (also
known
> as Batch's tapioca and fudge in asia minor). Being evil is an art form.

I have a picture in my head of former Chief Inspector Dreyfus playing
"Tiptoe Through The Tulips" on the pipe organ while his self-destructing
evil super-weapon destroys his castle.....

[Russell Kent]

B2431 wrote:

> Well, there IS an image to uphold, you know. There are things expected of a
> megalomaniac. For instance, if your lair is a castle you simply have to have a
> pipe organ and be able to play Bach's Taccotta and fugue in D minor (also known
> as Batch's tapioca and fudge in asia minor). Being evil is an art form.

.... and the truly evil never bother to learn Bach's D minor Fugue: all that the
proletariat recognize is the beginning of Bach's D minor Toccata. BUWAHAHAHAHA!!!

http://www.johann-sebastian-bach.org/bwv565/toccata+fugue-bwv565.mp3

Russell Kent

[B2431]

>From: Russell Kent
>Date: 2/12/2004 9:55 AM Central Standard Time
>Message-id: >
>
>B2431 wrote:
>
>> Well, there IS an image to uphold, you know. There are things expected of a
>> megalomaniac. For instance, if your lair is a castle you simply have to
>have a
>> pipe organ and be able to play Bach's Taccotta and fugue in D minor (also
>known
>> as Batch's tapioca and fudge in asia minor). Being evil is an art form.
>
>... and the truly evil never bother to learn Bach's D minor Fugue: all that
>the
>proletariat recognize is the beginning of Bach's D minor Toccata.
>BUWAHAHAHAHA!!!
>
>http://www.johann-sebastian-bach.org/bwv565/toccata+fugue-bwv565.mp3
>
>Russell Kent
>
Or they get a player pipe organ.
There is also no way to get around the assorted candle stands/candelabras as
they are needed for the sword fight scene.
And don't forget the humpbacked flunky named Igor.

Dan, U.S. Air Force, retired

[Felger Carbon]

"B2431" > wrote in message
...
>
> And don't forget the humpbacked flunky named Igor.

Igor, who first appeared in Mary Shelley's "Dr. Frankenstein", is
awfully long in the tooth these days. Maybe a crazed 14-year-old
Internet virus/worm writer?

[RU ok]

>> Well, there IS an image to uphold, you know. There are things expected of a
>> megalomaniac. For instance, if your lair is a castle you simply have to have a
>> pipe organ and be able to play Bach's Taccotta and fugue in D minor (also known
>> as Batch's tapioca and fudge in asia minor). Being evil is an art form.
>
>... and the truly evil never bother to learn Bach's D minor Fugue: all that the
>proletariat recognize is the beginning of Bach's D minor Toccata. BUWAHAHAHAHA!!!
>
>http://www.johann-sebastian-bach.org/bwv565/toccata+fugue-bwv565.mp3
>
>Russell Kent
++++++++++++++++++++++++

How impressive.
Your 'couth cup' runneth over.


Barnyard BOb --

[Russell Kent]

RU ok wrote:

> How impressive.
> Your 'couth cup' runneth over.

Yeah, they don't make cups big enough for guys like us. <VBG>

Russell Kent

[Wright1902Glider]

Speaking of organs...

www.wicks.com

One-stop shopping! Just around the corner (literally) from my Grandma's house!

Harry