Landing out on a corporate mega-farm or other non-traditional ornon-optimal place?

[son_of_flubber]

All of the land out stories that I've heard are about landing out on small family farms and the advice is always along the lines of, be friendly, let the farmer's kids sit in the glider etc...

Any stories about landing out in places other than on a small farm? Dealing with corporate security, corporate legal departments, bills for grossly inflated damages, pesticides, etc..

My favorite landout story involves a wetland, and quick while the EPA is not looking, a Caterpillar D-9 bulldozer. It is not my story, so I will not try to retell it, but maybe you get the picture of what I am looking for.

[Tony[_5_]]

On Sunday, May 5, 2013 8:59:33 AM UTC-5, son_of_flubber wrote:
> All of the land out stories that I've heard are about landing out on small family farms and the advice is always along the lines of, be friendly, let the farmer's kids sit in the glider etc...
>
>
>
> Any stories about landing out in places other than on a small farm? Dealing with corporate security, corporate legal departments, bills for grossly inflated damages, pesticides, etc..
>
>
>
> My favorite landout story involves a wetland, and quick while the EPA is not looking, a Caterpillar D-9 bulldozer. It is not my story, so I will not try to retell it, but maybe you get the picture of what I am looking for.

nope. although i suppose that if i did (or had) landed out on a corporate mega farm, i probably wouldn't have known it since by definition there would be no one around and I would revert to my standard policy of "leave no trace" landing out where i figure that the only evidence that I was there should be that the next time they plant crops in the field the guy driving the tractor will have a moment of confusion as he drives over some strange tire tracks and footprints in the dirt.

[Papa3[_2_]]

On Sunday, May 5, 2013 9:59:33 AM UTC-4, son_of_flubber wrote:
> All of the land out stories that I've heard are about landing out on small family farms and the advice is always along the lines of, be friendly, let the farmer's kids sit in the glider etc...
>
>
>
> Any stories about landing out in places other than on a small farm? Dealing with corporate security, corporate legal departments, bills for grossly inflated damages, pesticides, etc..
>
>
>
> My favorite landout story involves a wetland, and quick while the EPA is not looking, a Caterpillar D-9 bulldozer. It is not my story, so I will not try to retell it, but maybe you get the picture of what I am looking for.

Following is from a member of my club. I deleted a couple of names to protect ... well... just because. Some of you will immediately know who this is. Even if you don't, it's a good story:

Yo: 1987 Sports Class Nationals at Elmira, typical Elmira weather, HHH. The nice folks in Elmira feel soaring is a family affair and hold their contests when the little *******s are out of school, July-August. The contest was all but washed out, they were sending us up in barely VFR conditions. I forget what the task was but I found myself never over 2,000 agl as I went from field to field, over Watkins-Glen, up the east side of Seneca Lake the whole time at pattern altitude. One of the turnpoints was Seneca Depot; I later found out it was the largest A-bomb storage facility in the country. I would have thought such a place would be in Utah or Nevada. The sectional showed a long runway and a unicom frequency, nothing special, not a restricted area or anything like that. What really made my mind up was the unicom, surely a secret place wouldn't have a unicom frequency. I arrived over the place at 1,000 and looked it over. It had a vast street pattern and looked like any town USA; only at the head of each driveway, where one would expect to see a house and garage, was a mound of dirt. Lots and lots of mounds of dirt.

I called them on unicom and said I was landing. They said: "you can't land here." I thought: screw them, I'm I glider and we'll talk about it on the ground. The two E-7s were really nice guys and asked how I came to land there. I told them I was a Polish U-2 pilot and wanted political asylum. They said that although they thought that was funny they had to push the alarm button and a bunch of kids with guns were coming and it would not be in my best interest to say anything like that to them. The kids showed up in a truck, they had lots of guns including a heavy barrel .50 cal. on a ring mount and operated by a kid who was mostly pimples.

Seneca New York was the birthplace of the women's lib movement, the sufferage movement started there. Seneca Depot was plagued by the Mothers for Peace and the kids with guns thought I was affiliated with the "mothers." The dears had bought a farm across from the main gate and would protest the A-bombs on a regular basis. When not protesting they would burn their bras, write poetry, grow organic food and generally do the **** liberated ladies delight in doing. I had pretty much convinced the kids with guns that I wasn't, in any way, associated with the Mothers when the two state cops showed up.. The cops announced that I was their perpetrator and they would take me into custody. The sergeant in charge of the kids with guns said I was his perpetrator and they couldn't have me. An argument ensued. The argument was stopped by the sound of the rollers on the ring mount .50. It had been pointed at me and looked like the mouth of a railroad tunnel, it now pointed at the cops. The cops quickly left.

[My new wife] had recruited [two SSA members] to help with the retrieve. [Member 1] was head of the Langley Research facility and his G rating outranked the Colonel that commanded the depot and thank Christ for that or we'd be there yet. My retrieve crew had been told that there was going to be a "mission" on in an hour and if we weren't out of there by then we'd be put in a windowless room until the mission was over. [My new wife] told me to sit in the car and keep my f***ing mouth shut (and yeah, she was gonna be a nun). You would pay cash money to see three Germans take a German glider apart - took something like ten minutes.

[Frank Whiteley]

On Sunday, May 5, 2013 7:59:33 AM UTC-6, son_of_flubber wrote:
> All of the land out stories that I've heard are about landing out on small family farms and the advice is always along the lines of, be friendly, let the farmer's kids sit in the glider etc...
>
>
>
> Any stories about landing out in places other than on a small farm? Dealing with corporate security, corporate legal departments, bills for grossly inflated damages, pesticides, etc..
>
>
>
> My favorite landout story involves a wetland, and quick while the EPA is not looking, a Caterpillar D-9 bulldozer. It is not my story, so I will not try to retell it, but maybe you get the picture of what I am looking for.

One of our club members (then a physics Phd candidate) landed the club 1-34 on an active USAF base a few years ago. After being surrounded by 'assault weapon' toting MP's, he was released to our custody. We still have photographic evidence on our wall.

A former syndicate member of mine in the UK (actually a QC at the Old Bailey) landed at a USAF occupied RAF base. After being surrounded by 'assault weapon' toting MP's, he spent the rest of the afternoon drinking whiskey with the base commander in the O club, until his retrieve crew arrived. They didn't get past the door.

I once landed out 13 times in a single season in the UK, going for it. Eventually I learned to read the sky better. Never did I meet a grumpy farmer and was always offered assistance or lunch or beverages. Eight years later, back in the UK at a different club, I managed to land one thermal short of home plate. I walked up to the farm (nice, but not manorish) house and spoke with the lady in charge. She let me in to phone the club after some begging, then shushed me out the door with a warning not to sh*t on her land. Dutch she was. Kind of reminded me of when the wife and I were traveling Europe one time. We slept in the Estate wagon (mattress and sleeping bags) every other day at camp grounds, staying at a Zimmer, B&B, or Gasthaus on the other nights. Well, we 'roughed it' in the estate car in northern Italy then made our way to Austria. We popped into a bank late morning to exchange some money. My wife, being fluent in German, was a bit put off by their remarks. I hadn't shaved that day. I guess they used some slang term for gypsies.

The only one that was controversial was when I was soaring locally and got caught in my first subsidence. It wasn't a micro-burst like we get in Colorado, but I was soaring near Ipswich and the sky started falling. I headed back to the glider port in the trusty SHK. I was only about 8 miles out, but the sky kept falling, though halfway there were a couple of cu forming. I pulled in under the cu, but it only reduced the sink to two knots. These clouds were forming in a sinking air mass. I turned back toward the club. It was going to be close. I pulled up, had a good look and pulled the airbrakes to land among the wind rows of the adjacent farm, slightly downhill from the glider club. Willing volunteers soon roared into the field with my trailer, we de-rigged and were back at the club in minutes. Unfortunately, I had to go apologize to the farmer for the boorish actions of my retrieve crew, as they had no permission to enter the property. Secondly, the farmer was on the local council, and considered us a menace, dangerous, and was interested in turning the club into profit as barley corn. Part of the remedy was for the CFI (UK chief flight instructor) to ground me for 30 days (during the best part of the season) as a corrective measure (for my helpers). Plus, one of my soaring mentors and partners, also a former CFI, to give me what amounted to a 'public bollocking' in the local pub. Of course, I had to show the proper amount of contriteness. The whole affair was political.

On the other hand, I did fly past a private air strip that we routinely used for off-field landing practice. Had I landed there and gotten a tow home, the rest would have been unnecessary.

Note that within the BGA, a CFI grounding applies to all BGA sites.

Frank Whiteley

[Tony[_5_]]

On Sunday, May 5, 2013 6:08:38 PM UTC-5, Papa3 wrote:
> On Sunday, May 5, 2013 9:59:33 AM UTC-4, son_of_flubber wrote:
>
> > All of the land out stories that I've heard are about landing out on small family farms and the advice is always along the lines of, be friendly, let the farmer's kids sit in the glider etc...
>
> >
>
> >
>
> >
>
> > Any stories about landing out in places other than on a small farm? Dealing with corporate security, corporate legal departments, bills for grossly inflated damages, pesticides, etc..
>
> >
>
> >
>
> >
>
> > My favorite landout story involves a wetland, and quick while the EPA is not looking, a Caterpillar D-9 bulldozer. It is not my story, so I will not try to retell it, but maybe you get the picture of what I am looking for.

[Wallace Berry[_2_]]

In article >,
son_of_flubber > wrote:

> All of the land out stories that I've heard are about landing out on small
> family farms and the advice is always along the lines of, be friendly, let
> the farmer's kids sit in the glider etc...
>
> Any stories about landing out in places other than on a small farm? Dealing
> with corporate security, corporate legal departments, bills for grossly
> inflated damages, pesticides, etc..
>


Hey 92, tell the story of your landing in the gold mine!

[J9]

P3

Thanks for making my Monday morning...I can almost hear his voice! (scary but true)! Now all we need is a deck and some beer. You guys really should put a book together. Classic stuff, and refreshingly non-politically correct.

J9

[Wallace Berry[_2_]]

In article >,
son_of_flubber > wrote:

> All of the land out stories that I've heard are about landing out on small
> family farms and the advice is always along the lines of, be friendly, let
> the farmer's kids sit in the glider etc...
>
> Any stories about landing out in places other than on a small farm? Dealing
> with corporate security, corporate legal departments, bills for grossly
> inflated damages, pesticides, etc..
>
> My favorite landout story involves a wetland, and quick while the EPA is not
> looking, a Caterpillar D-9 bulldozer. It is not my story, so I will not try
> to retell it, but maybe you get the picture of what I am looking for.

Hi 92, tell your story of landing the 1-26 in the gold mine.

[Papa3[_2_]]

On Monday, May 6, 2013 11:14:28 AM UTC-4, J9 wrote:
> P3
>
>
>
> Thanks for making my Monday morning...I can almost hear his voice! (scary but true)! Now all we need is a deck and some beer. You guys really should put a book together. Classic stuff, and refreshingly non-politically correct.
>
>
>
> J9

Yeah, it's one of my favorites. I haven't quite figured out how to post the famous Martha's Vinyard Memorial Day Weekend Retrieve and Love In without violating some sort of FCC regulations or risking physical injury from one or more of the involved parties. Maybe with sufficient obfuscation it can be told,

P3

[son_of_flubber]

On Sunday, May 5, 2013 7:08:38 PM UTC-4, Papa3 wrote:
..
..
..
> Yo: 1987 Sports Class Nationals at Elmira, typical Elmira weather, HHH. The

This is exactly what I was looking for, but I only wish that you had delayed posting it for few days. Now I expect that anyone who comes to this thread with a good but somewhat lesser story will say, "Well I can't top that." and not bother to post their story. This is NOT a "Best Landout Story Ever in the World" competition. Please post "Personal Best Landout" stories.

As far as FARs go, let me state for the record, that stories posted in this thread are entirely fictional (wink, wink, nod, nod) and any resemblance to actual persons or places is purely coincidental. (Nice try FAA!)

[Tony[_5_]]

On Monday, May 6, 2013 12:46:12 PM UTC-5, son_of_flubber wrote:
> On Sunday, May 5, 2013 7:08:38 PM UTC-4, Papa3 wrote: . . . > Yo: 1987 Sports Class Nationals at Elmira, typical Elmira weather, HHH. The This is exactly what I was looking for, but I only wish that you had delayed posting it for few days. Now I expect that anyone who comes to this thread with a good but somewhat lesser story will say, "Well I can't top that." and not bother to post their story. This is NOT a "Best Landout Story Ever in the World" competition. Please post "Personal Best Landout" stories. As far as FARs go, let me state for the record, that stories posted in this thread are entirely fictional (wink, wink, nod, nod) and any resemblance to actual persons or places is purely coincidental. (Nice try FAA!)

i've led a boring life. while i have had a lot of landouts none of them have come close to comparing. There was one tight field south of my CFI-G's house that he was convinced a glider could not land in, until he saw the Cherokee parked there.

I've had a few times where the police have shown up but always soon enough to call off the ambulance. They've always been friendly and helpful. One offered to give me a ride back to the station while I waited to get out of the heat (in the front of the squad car i assume). I declined anyway. The last one came out because the 80+ yr old lady who lived at the farm was getting freaked out that i was sitting outside her house waiting for my crew. She hadn't answered the door since i appeared out of the blue, no car or anything, in very rural western KS on a gravel road. She finally called the police when she saw the glider out in the field. Once the officer, who she knew of course, arrived, she came to the door and was friendly. He used one of her tractors to pull the Cirrus out of the field. My pickup would've gotten stuck, lit the dry wheat chaff on fire, or both.

One time after landing out on the north side of Wichita I walked across the street to a house where people were enjoying a nice summer evening on their porch with neighbors. A few beers later and some food Leah arrived with the trailer. I always decline offers of alcohol now...

oh one time after a landout in a 2 seater with my instructor we heard a gunshot and got a little worried. Farmer came out in his tractor and helped pull the beast up to a driveway suitable for de-rigging. We asked him about the gunshot since it had worried us a bit. He said he saw us land, fired a shot into the air and ran inside to tell his wife he had shot down an airplane. She said "BS" of course so he told her to come look and there we were out in the field.

Landing out has provided me with a lot of fun over the years.

[Mike the Strike]

This might be a good time to tell my favorite land-out story - when lift died one day, I ended up at small strip of an aviation community in rural Arizona that consisted largely of retired airline pilots with hangars attached to their houses.

I rolled off the runway onto the front lawn of a house where a Cinquo de Mayo party was in progress. The retired airline captain who lived there walked over and handed me a Margarita before I was out of the cockpit! My retrieve crew and I spent several hours there exchanging aviation tales with a varied lot of pilots.

Mike

[vontresc]

On Monday, May 6, 2013 1:28:52 PM UTC-5, Mike the Strike wrote:
> This might be a good time to tell my favorite land-out story - when lift died one day, I ended up at small strip of an aviation community in rural Arizona that consisted largely of retired airline pilots with hangars attached to their houses.
>
>
>
> I rolled off the runway onto the front lawn of a house where a Cinquo de Mayo party was in progress. The retired airline captain who lived there walked over and handed me a Margarita before I was out of the cockpit! My retrieve crew and I spent several hours there exchanging aviation tales with a varied lot of pilots.
>
>
>
> Mike

I haven't had nearly as many landouts as Tony, but several of them were a lot of fun. A couple years ago I ended up in a field about 15 miles from the gliderport. I tried to get the crew to hook the trailer to the car, but instead I got a picked up, and then had to hook up the car and drive back to the field.

In the mean time someone must have called in a plane crash, because as soon we got back to the field to de-rig the Ka-6 a local county cop shows up.

The usual questions happen, and he gets a ton friendlier after I explain that I didn't crash and no paperwork is required. So now cop #1 is a bit happier, but has to go, so cop #2 shows up to get my info etc. This guy is a bit more curious about these bucket hat wearing weirdos. As cop #1 left he mumbles something about a "special weather statement". We didn't give it a second thought until we notice the sky turning angry.

So now we're taking shelter in my trailer (think giant aluminum box) during a thunderstorm with pea size hail. So we make the best of the situation, and cop #2 is surprisingly cool about the situation.

The rain finally stops, and we continue to put the plane away, when the cop asks me a couple more questions. Right at this point i notice a bunch of water pooling on the turtledeck, and I want to make sure I get the Ka-6 as dry as possible so I brush it off the turtledeck. Right onto the pants of cop #2 :-).

Thankfully he gad a good sense of humor, and mentioned something along the lines of this will make a good story at the bar tonight.

To this day I still get crap from my retrieve crew for that one.

Pete

[Tony[_5_]]

On Monday, May 6, 2013 1:48:13 PM UTC-5, vontresc wrote:
> On Monday, May 6, 2013 1:28:52 PM UTC-5, Mike the Strike wrote: > This might be a good time to tell my favorite land-out story - when lift died one day, I ended up at small strip of an aviation community in rural Arizona that consisted largely of retired airline pilots with hangars attached to their houses. > > > > I rolled off the runway onto the front lawn of a house where a Cinquo de Mayo party was in progress. The retired airline captain who lived there walked over and handed me a Margarita before I was out of the cockpit! My retrieve crew and I spent several hours there exchanging aviation tales with a varied lot of pilots. > > > > Mike I haven't had nearly as many landouts as Tony, but several of them were a lot of fun. A couple years ago I ended up in a field about 15 miles from the gliderport. I tried to get the crew to hook the trailer to the car, but instead I got a picked up, and then had to hook up the car and drive back to the field. In the mean time someone must have called in a plane crash, because as soon we got back to the field to de-rig the Ka-6 a local county cop shows up. The usual questions happen, and he gets a ton friendlier after I explain that I didn't crash and no paperwork is required. So now cop #1 is a bit happier, but has to go, so cop #2 shows up to get my info etc. This guy is a bit more curious about these bucket hat wearing weirdos. As cop #1 left he mumbles something about a "special weather statement". We didn't give it a second thought until we notice the sky turning angry. So now we're taking shelter in my trailer (think giant aluminum box) during a thunderstorm with pea size hail. So we make the best of the situation, and cop #2 is surprisingly cool about the situation. The rain finally stops, and we continue to put the plane away, when the cop asks me a couple more questions. Right at this point i notice a bunch of water pooling on the turtledeck, and I want to make sure I get the Ka-6 as dry as possible so I brush it off the turtledeck. Right onto the pants of cop #2 :-). Thankfully he gad a good sense of humor, and mentioned something along the lines of this will make a good story at the bar tonight. To this day I still get crap from my retrieve crew for that one. Pete

I'm really dissapointed in you Pete. My favorite Pete landout story was when I let him fly MY GLIDER and i flew my clubs Ka-6. Off we went XC and what does he do? lands out right after our turnpoint 50km away. Apparently he wanted the full Cherokee II experience. Supposedly it was a grass runway he landed in but it was basically a hay field. He basically called me on the radio and said "uh...now what?" I radioed him Leah's phone number. Using the far superior performance of the Ka-6 I pretty easily made it back to the airport. When I arrive I note the following:

My friend Pete is gone
My wife Leah is gone
My glider is gone
My truck and trailer are gone

What a deal! I had a beer and after another hour or so they arrived.

[[email protected]]

I've posted this before, but I think my landouts are more fun than most:

My first contest task was in a non-sanctioned event (the first PASCO League contest) out of Chico, CA. CD called a 120 sm triangle around the northern end of the Sacramento valley, which has plenty of landable fields, luckily, since I'd never actually done an off-airport landing. The day looked promising, with lots of cu's, but cloud bases never got much above 2000 ft AGL, so we pretty much ended up with a gaggle of about 20 gliders stopping in lift every few miles. Things went well until the last turn point, which was in the middle of acres of flooded rice fields, at that point everyone went into survival mode and scattered. Never did manage to hook up with lift again, and I soon was down to 700 feet over what looked like a fine dirt farm field with a graded dirt road down the middle. Only on final did I realize that the "road" was on top of a narrow levee between two dry sunken rice fields. I lined up as best I could, got it down right in the middle of the levee, rolled out about 100 feet, then the glider tilted over at a 45 degree angle, as the levee was about 4 feet high. Landing on the levee turned out to be a good thing, the fields were soft broken dirt with dead rice stalks and good-size rocks mixed in. Managed to raise someone on the radio, they got a message back to the airport for my then girlfriend (now wife) to come get me with the trailer (this was the first and last retrieve she ever did). Then I sat down to wait.

A short time later, a helicopter flies flies overhead makes a few circles, then also makes a landing on the levee (which was just barely wider than the skids). Just the California Highway Patrol, checking out reports of a downed aircraft, I assured them I was OK and help was on the way, so they headed off. Minutes later, a county sheriff's car drives out on the levee (which was just barely wider than the car), checking out a report of downed aircraft, I assured him I was OK, and help was on the way, he said he'd go find the farmer, and heads off.

A while later, a motorhome pulls over and stops on a highway at the far side of one of the fields, a man and a women get out, and as they get closer, I notice the woman is carrying beer. Turns out to be Karol Hines (LL), who I'd not yet met, she wasn't flying in the contest, but was heading up to the airport for the BBQ, she and her then SO heard on the radio that there was a glider down, and figured she'd bring necessary survival gear. So, we sat and talked, and waited, and eventually we saw my SUV and trailer making several passes from various directions, trying to figure out where I was. Eventually, the correct road was located, and my girlfriend and, luckily, another pilot who just happened to be a truck driver in real life, drove up to the edge of the field. After some discussion and pushing, we determined that since I managed to stop right at the middle of the levee in soft dirt, we weren't going to manage to push the glider off the levee, so our truck driver somehow managed to back the SUV and trailer several hundred yards out onto the levee right in front of the glider. We then had the interesting problem of how to disassemble the glider, since there was no way the wing stands would work. Had to resort to human wing stands, who held the wing tips over their heads, while we pulled the pins and got everything into the trailer. The whole thing was accomplished without a scratch to the glider, trailer, car, or participants.

Just as we finished, the farmer drives up, we exchange a few pleasantries, then he shakes his head and says "you can't be a very good pilot". He points over to the far side of one of the fields at a barely visible windsock and says, "didn't you see my duster strip over there?"...

Marc

[[email protected]]

On Monday, May 6, 2013 12:59:06 PM UTC-7, wrote:
> I've posted this before, but I think my landouts are more fun than most:

One correction, the "rice fields" were dry water storage ponds for flooding rice fields, someone who actually knows how rice is grown corrected me once...

[Peter von Tresckow]

Tony > wrote:
> On Monday, May 6, 2013 1:48:13 PM UTC-5, vontresc wrote:
>> On Monday, May 6, 2013 1:28:52 PM UTC-5, Mike the Strike wrote: > This
>> might be a good time to tell my favorite land-out story - when lift died
>> one day, I ended up at small strip of an aviation community in rural
>> Arizona that consisted largely of retired airline pilots with hangars
>> attached to their houses. > > > > I rolled off the runway onto the front
>> lawn of a house where a Cinquo de Mayo party was in progress. The
>> retired airline captain who lived there walked over and handed me a
>> Margarita before I was out of the cockpit! My retrieve crew and I spent
>> several hours there exchanging aviation tales with a varied lot of
>> pilots. > > > > Mike I haven't had nearly as many landouts as Tony, but
>> several of them were a lot of fun. A couple years ago I ended up in a
>> field about 15 miles from the gliderport. I tried to get the crew to
>> hook the trailer to the car, but instead I got a picked up, and then had
>> to hook up the car and drive back to the field. In the mean time someone
>> must have called in a plane crash, because as soon we got back to the
>> field to de-rig the Ka-6 a local county cop shows up. The usual
>> questions happen, and he gets a ton friendlier after I explain that I
>> didn't crash and no paperwork is required. So now cop #1 is a bit
>> happier, but has to go, so cop #2 shows up to get my info etc. This guy
>> is a bit more curious about these bucket hat wearing weirdos. As cop #1
>> left he mumbles something about a "special weather statement". We didn't
>> give it a second thought until we notice the sky turning angry. So now
>> we're taking shelter in my trailer (think giant aluminum box) during a
>> thunderstorm with pea size hail. So we make the best of the situation,
>> and cop #2 is surprisingly cool about the situation. The rain finally
>> stops, and we continue to put the plane away, when the cop asks me a
>> couple more questions. Right at this point i notice a bunch of water
>> pooling on the turtledeck, and I want to make sure I get the Ka-6 as dry
>> as possible so I brush it off the turtledeck. Right onto the pants of
>> cop #2 :-). Thankfully he gad a good sense of humor, and mentioned
>> something along the lines of this will make a good story at the bar
>> tonight. To this day I still get crap from my retrieve crew for that one. Pete
>
> I'm really dissapointed in you Pete. My favorite Pete landout story was
> when I let him fly MY GLIDER and i flew my clubs Ka-6. Off we went XC and
> what does he do? lands out right after our turnpoint 50km away.
> Apparently he wanted the full Cherokee II experience. Supposedly it was a
> grass runway he landed in but it was basically a hay field. He basically
> called me on the radio and said "uh...now what?" I radioed him Leah's
> phone number. Using the far superior performance of the Ka-6 I pretty
> easily made it back to the airport. When I arrive I note the following:
>
> My friend Pete is gone
> My wife Leah is gone
> My glider is gone
> My truck and trailer are gone
>
> What a deal! I had a beer and after another hour or so they arrived.

Lol that was an awesome land out. Plus that had to be the cheapest retrieve
ever.

Pete

[[email protected]]

On Sunday, May 5, 2013 9:59:33 AM UTC-4, son_of_flubber wrote:
> All of the land out stories that I've heard are about landing out on small family farms and the advice is always along the lines of, be friendly, let the farmer's kids sit in the glider etc...
>
>
>
> Any stories about landing out in places other than on a small farm? Dealing with corporate security, corporate legal departments, bills for grossly inflated damages, pesticides, etc..
>
>
>
> My favorite landout story involves a wetland, and quick while the EPA is not looking, a Caterpillar D-9 bulldozer. It is not my story, so I will not try to retell it, but maybe you get the picture of what I am looking for.

Landed out in a Texas exotic game ranch one time, flying at a regional contest out of Llano, Tx. 6000' paved jet strip with a hangar at one end, nothing else for miles and miles. No phone service, no people, no houses. Airport surrounded by a 20' high (I kid you not) chain-link fence.

I had a SPOT, so I pressed the non-emergency HELP button to send a text message to Dave Coucke who was also flying at the contest. Then I called for assistance on 121.5 and got a passing charter to relay a message to the retrieve desk.

After sitting for a while, I decided to see if I could find a human somewhere, so I climbed up the 20' high fence on one side, down again on the other, and started walking. After about a mile, I realized I was actually walking in a wild game preserve, and that some of the 'game' in this place might regard me as a fun toy to play with (or eat!), so I turned around, walked the mile back to the airport, climbed up and then down the 20' high fence again, and waited. After an hour or so, Dave Coucke shows up with my trailer, having tracked me down from the SPOT coordinates (thank you SPOT!), but we still don't know how to get the trailer to the glider. Dave's phone had service, so after many calls to various local police, we tracked down the local caretaker. The caretaker eventually got us in to the airport, on the way driving us past a herd of immense (as in Volkswagon bus-sized) longhorn steers.

TA

[Bill D]

On Monday, May 6, 2013 1:59:06 PM UTC-6, wrote:
> I've posted this before, but I think my landouts are more fun than most:
>
>
>
> My first contest task was in a non-sanctioned event (the first PASCO League contest) out of Chico, CA. CD called a 120 sm triangle around the northern end of the Sacramento valley, which has plenty of landable fields, luckily, since I'd never actually done an off-airport landing. The day looked promising, with lots of cu's, but cloud bases never got much above 2000 ft AGL, so we pretty much ended up with a gaggle of about 20 gliders stopping in lift every few miles. Things went well until the last turn point, which was in the middle of acres of flooded rice fields, at that point everyone went into survival mode and scattered. Never did manage to hook up with lift again, and I soon was down to 700 feet over what looked like a fine dirt farm field with a graded dirt road down the middle. Only on final did I realize that the "road" was on top of a narrow levee between two dry sunken rice fields. I lined up as best I could, got it down right in the middle of the levee, rolled out about 100 feet, then the glider tilted over at a 45 degree angle, as the levee was about 4 feet high. Landing on the levee turned out to be a good thing, the fields were soft broken dirt with dead rice stalks and good-size rocks mixed in. Managed to raise someone on the radio, they got a message back to the airport for my then girlfriend (now wife) to come get me with the trailer (this was the first and last retrieve she ever did). Then I sat down to wait.
>
>
>
> A short time later, a helicopter flies flies overhead makes a few circles, then also makes a landing on the levee (which was just barely wider than the skids). Just the California Highway Patrol, checking out reports of a downed aircraft, I assured them I was OK and help was on the way, so they headed off. Minutes later, a county sheriff's car drives out on the levee (which was just barely wider than the car), checking out a report of downed aircraft, I assured him I was OK, and help was on the way, he said he'd go find the farmer, and heads off.
>
>
>
> A while later, a motorhome pulls over and stops on a highway at the far side of one of the fields, a man and a women get out, and as they get closer, I notice the woman is carrying beer. Turns out to be Karol Hines (LL), who I'd not yet met, she wasn't flying in the contest, but was heading up to the airport for the BBQ, she and her then SO heard on the radio that there was a glider down, and figured she'd bring necessary survival gear. So, we sat and talked, and waited, and eventually we saw my SUV and trailer making several passes from various directions, trying to figure out where I was.. Eventually, the correct road was located, and my girlfriend and, luckily, another pilot who just happened to be a truck driver in real life, drove up to the edge of the field. After some discussion and pushing, we determined that since I managed to stop right at the middle of the levee in soft dirt, we weren't going to manage to push the glider off the levee, so our truck driver somehow managed to back the SUV and trailer several hundred yards out onto the levee right in front of the glider. We then had the interesting problem of how to disassemble the glider, since there was no way the wing stands would work. Had to resort to human wing stands, who held the wing tips over their heads, while we pulled the pins and got everything into the trailer. The whole thing was accomplished without a scratch to the glider, trailer, car, or participants.
>
>
>
> Just as we finished, the farmer drives up, we exchange a few pleasantries, then he shakes his head and says "you can't be a very good pilot". He points over to the far side of one of the fields at a barely visible windsock and says, "didn't you see my duster strip over there?"...
>
>
>
> Marc

You are in good company, Marc. (Some details of the following story may be incorrect.)

It was mid-winter 1989 when a Convair 580 crew mismanaged an engine emergency by shutting off fuel to their only good engine. The 580 'glider' landed more or less successfully (they and their pax could walk away) in the Colorado mountains near Buena Vista whereupon a large number of boys ran up to the cockpit windows which were now at eye level due to a nose gear collapse.. The flight crew learned two significant things from the kids. One, they had landed inside a Colorado youth correctional facility and there was an airport on the other side of the road.

[Dave Nadler]

On Monday, May 6, 2013 9:29:35 PM UTC-4, wrote:
> Landed out in a Texas exotic game ranch one time...

Frank, you have GOT to stop landing out so often...

[Tony[_5_]]

On Monday, May 6, 2013 9:15:43 PM UTC-5, Dave Nadler wrote:
> On Monday, May 6, 2013 9:29:35 PM UTC-4, wrote:
>
> > Landed out in a Texas exotic game ranch one time...
>
>
>
> Frank, you have GOT to stop landing out so often...

i almost landed at that same airport the next year...i brought up at the morning pilots meeting how there was this great big runway out there not marked on the sectional, and Frank mentioned that you might not want to land there if you had a better choice.

[Morgan[_2_]]

Actually have a couple of relevant stories about mega farms.

Avenal is about 30 miles North of Paramount Farms production facility. Paramount is one of the largest pistachio and almond producers in the country I believe.

They have a beautiful 4000ft or so paved strip in a highly strategic location for getting home or getting away to the south. One early March day, emboldened by clouds I pressed on despite only about 2500agl clouds. Everything was going fine until getting flushed by some westerly marine flow. Unable to get away, I had to land Paramount.

A couple of security guards show up and start taking my contact info. They were cool and didn't really quite know what to make of a situation. Then another car comes racing out. Security again, but this looks like a manager. She hops out of the car and starts telling the guys "No, no no, they're fine, they're corporate."

I look at my buddy (we were in my Duo) and decide to see where this goes. She tells the guy that we are from the office and it's ok and just about apologizes to us. Then looks at the plane. Looks at us. Back at the Duo and the fact that it looks nothing like a King Air. Lightbulb goes on and she asks if I'm from corporate. I opted to tell the truth. She was cool, we had a good laugh and I showed everyone the glider and talked about how we ended up there. A few minutes later the towplane arrived, I gave them my contact info and even got a security guard to run our wing as we towed out.

Positive experience all in all. Better than the other massive farm with a strip that I landed at with an angry cowboy caretaker that likes to brandish a pistol while telling you to get off. That airstrip is listed as "Hostile" in the DB, but it's still not too bad for the occasional landout. They just won't let us aerotow out of there.

A few months after my landout at Paramount we held our spring contest. It was a tough day and our turn area went near Paramount. We stuck 5 or 6 gliders on their strip that day and I think most aero-retrieved out of there.

Later that night I got an email from a manager at Paramount. He is a pilot and understands that they have a nice runway and we might need to use it in an "emergency" and that was OK, but we couldn't aero-retrieve.

It was a very polite email, didn't kick us off the airstrip. I followed up my response with a couple of contest t-shirts and two gift certificates for demo flights at the club for him or an employee. A few weeks went by and I got an email from his employee that got the certificates. He ended up enjoying a demo flight and joining our club.

Now I make sure to send them a note prior to our contest letting them know we'll be in the area and to let their visitors know we will have higher than usual glider traffic in the area. We continue to have a good relationship with them despite a record 8 gliders landing there last year.

The main upside to corporate farms is that you've got a very high probability of running into someone that isn't highly motivated to being a jerk. Around the central Valley of California, there are a lot of Duster strips and they are generally pretty friendly.

Last weekend we had a few pilots land out at a nearby farm. The owner/manager was cool with the gliders and even aerotowing out. I'll probably send a t-shirt and a demo flight offer over. It's cheap insurance to keep a positive image going.

Morgan




On Sunday, May 5, 2013 6:59:33 AM UTC-7, son_of_flubber wrote:
> All of the land out stories that I've heard are about landing out on small family farms and the advice is always along the lines of, be friendly, let the farmer's kids sit in the glider etc...
>
>
>
> Any stories about landing out in places other than on a small farm? Dealing with corporate security, corporate legal departments, bills for grossly inflated damages, pesticides, etc..
>
>
>
> My favorite landout story involves a wetland, and quick while the EPA is not looking, a Caterpillar D-9 bulldozer. It is not my story, so I will not try to retell it, but maybe you get the picture of what I am looking for.

[Mario[_2_]]

On May 7, 10:57*pm, Morgan > wrote:
> Actually have a couple of relevant stories about mega farms.
>
> Avenal is about 30 miles North of Paramount Farms production facility. *Paramount is one of the largest pistachio and almond producers in the country I believe.
>
> They have a beautiful 4000ft or so paved strip in a highly strategic location for getting home or getting away to the south. *One early March day, emboldened by clouds I pressed on despite only about 2500agl clouds. *Everything was going fine until getting flushed by some westerly marine flow. *Unable to get away, I had to land Paramount.
>
> A couple of security guards show up and start taking my contact info. *They were cool and didn't really quite know what to make of a situation. *Then another car comes racing out. *Security again, but this looks like a manager. She hops out of the car and starts telling the guys "No, no no, they're fine, they're corporate."
>
> I look at my buddy (we were in my Duo) and decide to see where this goes. *She tells the guy that we are from the office and it's ok and just about apologizes to us. *Then looks at the plane. Looks at us. *Back at the Duo and the fact that it looks nothing like a King Air. *Lightbulb goes on and she asks if I'm from corporate. *I opted to tell the truth. *She was cool, we had a good laugh and I showed everyone the glider and talked about how we ended up there. *A few minutes later the towplane arrived, I gave them my contact info and even got a security guard to run our wing as we towed out.
>
> Positive experience all in all. *Better than the other massive farm with a strip that I landed at with an angry cowboy caretaker that likes to brandish a pistol while telling you to get off. *That airstrip is listed as "Hostile" in the DB, but it's still not too bad for the occasional landout. *They just won't let us aerotow out of there.
>
> A few months after my landout at Paramount we held our spring contest. *It was a tough day and our turn area went near Paramount. *We stuck 5 or 6 gliders on their strip that day and I think most aero-retrieved out of there.
>
> Later that night I got an email from a manager at Paramount. *He is a pilot and understands that they have a nice runway and we might need to use it in an "emergency" and that was OK, but we couldn't aero-retrieve.
>
> It was a very polite email, didn't kick us off the airstrip. *I followed up my response with a couple of contest t-shirts and two gift certificates for demo flights at the club for him or an employee. *A few weeks went by and I got an email from his employee that got the certificates. *He ended up enjoying a demo flight and joining our club.
>
> Now I make sure to send them a note prior to our contest letting them know we'll be in the area and to let their visitors know we will have higher than usual glider traffic in the area. *We continue to have a good relationship with them despite a record 8 gliders landing there last year.
>
> The main upside to corporate farms is that you've got a very high probability of running into someone that isn't highly motivated to being a jerk. *Around the central Valley of California, there are a lot of Duster strips and they are generally pretty friendly.
>
> Last weekend we had a few pilots land out at a nearby farm. *The owner/manager was cool with the gliders and even aerotowing out. *I'll probably send a t-shirt and a demo flight offer over. *It's cheap insurance to keep a positive image going.
>
> Morgan
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> On Sunday, May 5, 2013 6:59:33 AM UTC-7, son_of_flubber wrote:
> > All of the land out stories that I've heard are about landing out on small family farms and the advice is always along the lines of, be friendly, let the farmer's kids sit in the glider etc...
>
> > Any stories about landing out in places other than on a small farm? *Dealing with corporate security, corporate legal departments, bills for grossly inflated damages, pesticides, etc..
>
> > My favorite landout story involves a wetland, and quick while the EPA is not looking, a Caterpillar D-9 bulldozer. *It is not my story, so I will not try to retell it, but maybe you get the picture of what I am looking for.


Back in the 70’s, during a regional contest in Arizona I was one of 8
or 10 pilots who had landed out during a torrential downburst at a CIA
base ( all the planes
and helicopters where in the hangars, all where painted black). The
crews on the field were very helpful tieing down our gliders in the
downpour. They then herded us into an office to decide what to with
us.

About this time my wife, Maria, the first of the crews coming after
us, had arrived at the main gate and asked permission to come on the
field. The armed guard stated that it would be impossible, and that
we where not on the there any way. Maria realized that the only way
she was going to get him to make a call was to begin to cry. It
worked.

I was never worried about getting off the field because one of our
pilots in our group was the head of Transportation for the State of
Arizona. He never once mentioned who he was. I knew if things got out
of hand he would have come forward, plus Maria was at the gate.

When all the other crews started arriving they agreed the best thing
was to let them all on the field and have us out of there as fast as
possible. It was an interesting day.

[Marc]

On May 8, 10:58*am, Mario > wrote:
> Back in the 70’s, during a regional contest in Arizona I was one of 8
> or 10 pilots who had landed out during a torrential downburst at a CIA
> base ( all the planes
> and helicopters where in the hangars, all where painted black). *The
> crews on the field were very helpful tieing down our gliders in the
> downpour. *They then herded us into an office to decide what to with
> us.

There is also "Base Camp", a pristine 8000 ft long tarmac runway about
30 miles to the east of Tonopah, allegedly owned by the Dept of Energy
and administered by the Tonopah Test Range, not on the sectional, not
in restricted airspace, and the only safe place to land for miles
around. It's usually pretty quiet and empty, a bored civilian
security guard will come get you, drive you back to his office, let
you call for a ground retrieve, and often offer a beer. But, there is
also the odd chance that you will be greeted by black Humvees with
mounted machine guns trained on you, interrogated by individuals in
unmarked uniforms, threatened with arrest and confiscation of your
glider. After a while, we figured out it is better to take ones
chances landing on the adjacent highway (which has tall stakes on
either side to deter landings by drug runners and glider pilots), then
to land at Base Camp when there are aircraft present (I've seen C-130s
parked there).

I landed there once, and got a beer 8^)

Marc

[Papa3[_2_]]

On Sunday, May 5, 2013 9:59:33 AM UTC-4, son_of_flubber wrote:
> All of the land out stories that I've heard are about landing out on small family farms and the advice is always along the lines of, be friendly, let the farmer's kids sit in the glider etc...
>

And, another one from the Aero Club Albatross archives:

[Papa3[_2_]]

On Sunday, May 5, 2013 9:59:33 AM UTC-4, son_of_flubber wrote:
> All of the land out stories that I've heard are about landing out on small family farms and the advice is always along the lines of, be friendly, let the farmer's kids sit in the glider etc...
>

And another one from the Aero Club Albatross archives. Those of you who know Bobby Templin can picture this one (on second thought...):

I don't log landouts, but over the years I've had well over a hundred, most were in 126s. One mid-October day I was calibrating the NW ridge and landed in the model field on the Pennsylvania side of the Delaware River. This was in the late 1970's, no cell phones, so I walked down river to Smithfield Beach where I thought there might be a pay phone. There wasn't. I knew there was a phone at the Coppermine Inn, but it was on the Jersey side of the river. Being a strong swimmer I decided swim the 200 yards to the Jersey side. I stripped naked and carrying my cloths and shoes above the the water while swimming with one arm. I got about halfway across when I decided this might not be a good idea. The cold water and one arm swim was tiring me.. I knew I could easily make it if I jettisoned my clothes but I would be naked when I got to shore. In the end, I kept my cloths and made it. I was shivering when I got to the Inn but a couple of extra-sharp ginger brandies (the house specialty) cured that.....1K