OT - For Jay Honeck...a little Iowa City humor

[Jim Weir]

Why did the University of Iowa replace natural grass with Astroturf?
To discourage the cheerleaders from grazing during games.

How many UI freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?
None.....That's a sophomore course at UI.

What does a UI football player get on his final exams?
Drool.

How can you tell a UI cheerleader is on the level?
Tobacco spit coming equally out of BOTH sides of her mouth...


{;-)


Jim]


Jim Weir (A&P/IA, CFI, & other good alphabet soup)
VP Eng RST Pres. Cyberchapter EAA Tech. Counselor
http://www.rst-engr.com

[Casey Wilson]

"Jim Weir" > wrote in message
...
> Why did the University of Iowa replace natural grass with Astroturf?
> To discourage the cheerleaders from grazing during games.
>
> How many UI freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?
> None.....That's a sophomore course at UI.
>
> What does a UI football player get on his final exams?
> Drool.
>
> How can you tell a UI cheerleader is on the level?
> Tobacco spit coming equally out of BOTH sides of her mouth...
>

Don't fall for that Jay. He just replaced Sierra College with
University of Iowa.

[Jay Honeck]

Wait a minute...aren't those UCLA jokes?

Well, some are Minnesota Viking jokes...

And some are Nebraska jokes!

:-)
--
Jay Honeck
Iowa City, IA
Pathfinder N56993
www.AlexisParkInn.com
"Your Aviation Destination"

[Rob Perkins]

"Jay Honeck" > wrote:

>Wait a minute...aren't those UCLA jokes?
>
>Well, some are Minnesota Viking jokes...
>
>And some are Nebraska jokes!

Funny, I thought they belonged to the University of Utah...

Maybe I was thinking of the Portland Trailblazers? Nah...

Rob

[Jim Fisher]

Overheard in the lobby of the Alexis Park Inn:

Guest: "Exceuse me, sir, can you tell me where the bathroom is at?"

Inn Manager: "One should never end a sentance with a preposition."

Guest: (scratches his head - looks a littl annoyed) "Well, umm, can you
tell me where the bathroom is at . . . asshole?"

--
Jim Fisher

[Tom Sixkiller]

"Jim Fisher" > wrote in message
...
>
> Overheard in the lobby of the Alexis Park Inn:
>
> Guest: "Exceuse me, sir, can you tell me where the bathroom is at?"
>
> Inn Manager: "One should never end a sentance with a preposition."
>
> Guest: (scratches his head - looks a littl annoyed) "Well, umm, can you
> tell me where the bathroom is at . . . asshole?"


The Inn Manager: (paraphrased)

Jay owned a small hotel in Iowa City. The Wage and Hour Department of Iowa
claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent to
interview him.

"I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the
agent.


"Well, there's my maintenance man who's been with me for 3 years. I pay
him $600 a week plus free room and board. The cook has been here for 18
months, and I pay her $500 a month plus free room and board. Then there's
the half-wit that works about 18 hours a day. He makes $10 a week and I buy
him airplane fuel," replied Jay.


"That's the guy I want to talk to; the half-wit," says the agent.


Jay says, "That would be me."

[Jim Weir]

Supposedly the fastest that a professional baseball manager was ever thrown out
of a game:

Casey Stengel: Where was that pitch at?
Umpire: We don't end our sentences with a preposition.
Stengel: OK, where was that pitch at, asshole?
Umpire: YOU'RE OUT OF HERE.

"Jim Fisher" >
shared these priceless pearls of wisdom:

->
->Overheard in the lobby of the Alexis Park Inn:
->
->Guest: "Exceuse me, sir, can you tell me where the bathroom is at?"
->
->Inn Manager: "One should never end a sentance with a preposition."
->
->Guest: (scratches his head - looks a littl annoyed) "Well, umm, can you
->tell me where the bathroom is at . . . asshole?"

Jim Weir (A&P/IA, CFI, & other good alphabet soup)
VP Eng RST Pres. Cyberchapter EAA Tech. Counselor
http://www.rst-engr.com

[Richard Hertz]

At the risk of starting a grammar debate - ending sentences (in English)
with prepositions is acceptable. (No matter what you 8th grade English
teacher or your Latin teacher told you)

"Jim Fisher" > wrote in message
...
>
> Overheard in the lobby of the Alexis Park Inn:
>
> Guest: "Exceuse me, sir, can you tell me where the bathroom is at?"
>
> Inn Manager: "One should never end a sentance with a preposition."
>
> Guest: (scratches his head - looks a littl annoyed) "Well, umm, can you
> tell me where the bathroom is at . . . asshole?"
>
> --
> Jim Fisher
>
>

[C J Campbell]

"Richard Hertz" > wrote in message
et...
> At the risk of starting a grammar debate - ending sentences (in English)
> with prepositions is acceptable. (No matter what you 8th grade English
> teacher or your Latin teacher told you)
>

Or, as Winston Churchill said, "That is the thing up with which I will not
put!"

[Jay Honeck]

> Jay says, "That would be me."

Man, you got that right! :-)
--
Jay Honeck
Iowa City, IA
Pathfinder N56993
www.AlexisParkInn.com
"Your Aviation Destination"

[Tom Sixkiller]

"Jim Weir" > wrote in message
...
> Supposedly the fastest that a professional baseball manager was ever
thrown out
> of a game:
>
> Casey Stengel: Where was that pitch at?
> Umpire: We don't end our sentences with a preposition.
> Stengel: OK, where was that pitch at, asshole?
> Umpire: YOU'RE OUT OF HERE.
>
That WAS proper grammar in "Stenglese". :~)

"Who caught that!?! Fire him!!"

[G.R. Patterson III]

Richard Hertz wrote:
>
> At the risk of starting a grammar debate - ending sentences (in English)
> with prepositions is acceptable.

The rule never to end sentences with a preposition is the sort of nonsense up with
which I will not put.

George Patterson
This marriage is off to a shaky start. The groom just asked the band to
play "Your cheatin' heart", and the bride just requested "Don't come home
a'drinkin' with lovin' on your mind".

[Jim Weir]

How do you get a UofI cheerleader into your dorm room?

Grease her hips and push like hell.


Jim



Jim Weir (A&P/IA, CFI, & other good alphabet soup)
VP Eng RST Pres. Cyberchapter EAA Tech. Counselor
http://www.rst-engr.com

[One's Too Many]

Jim Weir > wrote in message >...

>
> How can you tell a UI cheerleader is on the level?
> Tobacco spit coming equally out of BOTH sides of her mouth...

No, that would be an OU cheerleader.

--
(I'm a UT Longhorn)

[Orval Fairbairn]

In article >,
(One's Too Many) wrote:

> Jim Weir > wrote in message
> >...
>
> >
> > How can you tell a UI cheerleader is on the level?
> > Tobacco spit coming equally out of BOTH sides of her mouth...
>
> No, that would be an OU cheerleader.
>
> --
> (I'm a UT Longhorn)


Know the difference between Iowa and yogurt?

Yogurt has culture.

[Dave Buckles]

One's Too Many wrote:

> No, that would be an OU cheerleader.
>
> --
> (I'm a UT Longhorn)

The Nose of Oklahoma Smells You
(To the tune of "I've Been Workin' on the Railroad")

The nose of Oklahoma smells you
All the live-long day.
The nose of Oklahoma smells you;
Why won't you go away?
All the people down in Austin
Think that they got class,
But all the people up in Norman
Say "Texas, bite my ***!"

BOOMER SOONER
--Dave

--
Dave Buckles

http://www.flight-instruction.com