Charlie Papa[_2_]
August 12th 15, 02:43 PM
On Sunday, January 14, 1996 at 3:00:00 AM UTC-5, Roma Maxwell wrote:
> Everybody loves quotes. Everybody loves flying. Here is the best of both
> worlds, a mixture of quotes, humorous sayings poems, etc. (Much thanks to
> everyone who sent material in. Email new quotes, money, corrections, blah
> blah to David Bratzer at )
>
> "Combat flying is long hours of total boredom interrupted by seconds of sheer
> terror."
> -Unknown
>
> "I've had a ball."
> -Chuck Yeager, describing his Air Force career which spanned over 30 years.
>
> Come to the edge.
> We might fall.
> Come to the edge.
> It's too high!
> COME TO THE EDGE!
> And they came,
> and he pushed,
> and they flew.
>
> Logue, Christopher
> English poet (1926- )
>
> "When we walk to the edge of all the light we have and take the step into the
> darkness of the unknown, we must believe that one of 2 things will happen:
> there will be something solid for us to stand on, or we will learn to fly."
> -Anonymous
>
> "Captain John Greenhalgh, Army Air Corps: Captain Greenhalgh lifted four
> wounded soldiers off the forward slope of Darwin Hill, in direct sight of the
> enemy, at last light. He found them by flying south until the enemy shot at
> him. Then he knew where he was. Later, hearing a Para officer lay dying on
> the other edge of the battle, where B Company were pinned down, he flew in
> the dark, with no night vision equipment, navigating with a map and
> flashlight. He found the man, brought him back, and saved his life."
> -From some book
>
> If God meant man to fly, He'd have given him more money.
>
> The three things that never did anybody any good: the altitude
> that's above you, the runway that's behind you, and the gas that's
> still in the truck.
>
> [The fourth, according to Jim Sanders, is a field-grade navigator.]
>
> If it flies, floats or fornicates, it's cheaper to rent.
>
> The purpose of a propeller is to keep the pilot cool. If you don't
> believe it, turn it off and watch him sweat.
>
> A good landing is any one you walk away from.
>
> --
> \~~\
> \ \ _ _ _______________________________________
> _\ \ \ | ) ___\ Dear Lord, Be good to me. The sky |
> _/__\ \#|__\| )________/ is so vast & my airplane is so small. |
> <____ \ \_,--\ \ \ ___\---------------------------------------
> 6 6 \ \ \_\ Si Deane -- Owensboro Ky.
> \ \
> ~~~
>
> In response to a controller remarking on the speed of his plane, the
> pilot replied "If Robert E. Lee had one of these, we'd need a visa to
> get into Pennsylvania".
>
> In response to how he checked the weather, "I just whip out my blue
> card with a hole in it and read what it says: 'When colour of card
> matches colour of sky, FLY!'"
> Gordon Baxter
>
>
> "To put your life in danger from time to time....breeds a saneness in
> dealing with day-to-day trivialities."
>
> from SLIDE RULE
> by Nevil Shute
>
>
> "Did you ever notice whenever a pilot dies because of bad weather,
> they're always buried on a sunny day."
>
> Jack Poague
>
>
> "A midair collision seriously erodes climb performance."
>
> Barry Schiff
>
> (Airplanes are) near perfect, all they lack is the ability to forgive.
>
> Richard Collins
> Flying Magazine
> August 1988
>
> At the Reno air races:
>
> "You can grab ahold of an airplane here, and literally take your life
> in both hands. One for the throttle and one for the stick, and you can
> control your own destiny free of most rules and regulations. Well, it
> may not be better than your wedding night, but it's probably better
> than the second one."
>
> "You know, adrenalin is a naturally induced narcotic, but it's
> stronger than most narcotics. And once you get it movin' around in
> there, I mean, it's a rush that's hard to describe, and you get it
> when you get this puppy movin'."
>
> Alan Preston
> air race pilot
>
>
> The following are excerpts from NASA's Aviation Safety Reporting System
> publication "Callback":
>
> On a large jet following a maintenance test flight, the
> pilot-in-command wrote in the aircraft log, "Aircraft satisfactory,
> except autoland very rough." The mechanics sign-off was, "Autoland not
> installed on this aircraft."
>
> "...if everything is going along smoothly something MUST have been
> overlooked."
>
> Pilot: "Outer marker, inbound."
> Tower: "Roger, cleared to land, winds 270 at 21, gusting 29, heavy
> rain, severe turbulence below 300, RVR 2,000 feet."
> Pilot: "Roger--cleared to land--and oh, let us know if it gets any
> worse."
> WORSE?!
>
> "Just keep looking around; there's always something you've missed."
>
> "Get enough sleep. If you can't leave your worries at home, stay there
> with them."
>
> "The nicest VFR is just as dangerous as the worst IFR."
>
> No bird soars too high,
> If he soars with his own wings.
>
> William Blake
>
> "It's the most exciting thing you have ever done with your pants on!"
>
> Flight of the Intruder
> Stephen Coonts
>
> *************
> The following statements are taken from Flying Magazine August 1993.
> They are a collection of "Rules for Pilots" that Len Morgan put
> together from all his years of experience in the aviation industry.
>
> Flying is not dangerous; crashing is dangerous.
>
> Flying is the perfect vocation for a man who wants to feel like a boy,
> but not for one who still is.
>
> There are four ways to fly: the right way, the wrong way, the company
> way and the captain's way. Only one counts.
>
> An airplane may disappoint a good pilot, but it won't surprise him.
>
> Any pilot who relies on a terminal forecast can be sold the Brooklyn
> Bridge. If he relies on winds-aloft reports he can be sold Niagara
> Falls.
>
> The friendliest stewardesses are those on the trip home.
>
> Being an airline pilot would be great if you didn't have to go on all
> those trips.
>
> The nicer an airplane looks, the better it flies.
>
> Jet and piston engines work on the same principle: Suck and squeeze,
> blow and go.
>
> There are three rules for making a smooth landing: Unfortunately, no
> one knows what they are.
>
> Passengers prefer old captains and young stewardesses.
>
> The only thing worse than a captain who never flew as copilot is a
> copilot who once was a captain.
>
> Any pilot who does not privately consider himself the best in the game
> is in the wrong game.
>
> If an earthquake suddenly opened a fissure in a runway that caused an
> accident, the NTSB would find a way to blame in on pilot error.
>
> A smooth touchdown in a simulator is as exciting as kissing your
> sister.
>
> Tell someone you work for another airline and he'll tell you how much
> better yours is.
>
> Any attempt to stretch fuel is guaranteed to increase headwinds.
>
> A thunderstorm is never as bad on the inside as it appears on the
> outside. It's worse.
>
> Most airline food tastes like warmed-over chicken because that's what
> it is.
>
> Everything is accomplished through teamwork until something goes
> wrong, then one pilot gets all the blame.
>
> If it doesn't work, rename it; if that doesn't help, the new name
> isn't long enough.
>
> A good simulator check ride is like successful surgery on a cadaver.
>
> Asking what a pilot thinks about the FAA is like asking a fireplug
> what it thinks about dogs.
>
> Trust your captain .... but keep your seatbelt securely fastened.
>
> When a forecaster talks about yesterday's weather, he's an historian;
> when he talks about tomorrow's, he's reading tea leaves.
>
> A thunderstorm is nature's way of saying, "Up yours."
> **********
>
> The 3 Rules of ACM:
> * Speed is Life
> * Lose Sight - Lose Fight
> * If You're Not Cheating - You're Not Trying Hard Enough
>
> [Note: I think ACM stands for Air Combat Manoeuvres, but I'm not sure. If
> someone could confirm this I'd appreciate it]
>
> Glider pilots never premature release.
>
> Glider pilots can slip it anywhere.
>
> [I know just about *everyone* has read this poem, but I'm including it
> anyway]
>
> "High Flight"
>
> Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of Earth,
> and danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;
> Sunward I've climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth
> Of sun-split clouds- and done a hundred things
> You have not dreamed of- wheeled and soared and swung
> High in the sunlit silence. Hov'ring there,
> I've chased the shouting wind along and flung
> My eager craft through footless halls of air.
>
> Up, up the long delirious burning blue
> I've topped the wind-swept heights with easy grace,
> Where never lark, or even eagle flew;
> And, while silent lifting mind I've trod
> The high untrespassed sanctity of space,
> Put out my hand, and touched the face of God...
> -J.G. Magee, Jr. [WWII fighter pilot]
>
> [For all you gliding enthusiasts...]
> BRONTE FLIGHT
>
> Oh, I have slipped the surly bonds of rope
> A few feet from "The Road".
> I whip the Schweitzer 'round so fast
> Exceeds the max'mum load.
> I've slipped, I've stalled, I've spiral dived,
> Spun past the sixth full turn.
> "You can't do that!" the new ones say,
> They've got a lot to learn.
>
> I find a thermal, turn in it
> To try and gain some height.
> But I must beat the towplane down
> Or this is my last flight!
> On 2-3 fly a crooked base
> Then crank the plane around.
> Or 2-9: pass the hangers then
> I dive straight for the ground!
> But the best is 3-6 final when
> I know I should be higher,
> Put out my hand and touch
> The passing telephone wire!
> -Author Unknown
>
> 'Aviate, Navigate, Communicate'
>
> 'The superior pilot uses his superior judgment to
> avoid situations regarding superior skill'
>
> The Glider Student Prayer:
> The Instructor is my sheperd, I shall not wander
> He leadeth me beside the runway
> He maketh me touch down softly
> He restoreth my airspeed
>
> Yea though I fly through the valley of clear turbulence
> I shall fear no spins, for thou art with me
> Thy have fist on the controls, it comforts me
> Thou bestoweth me without cable breaks
> Otherwise, my logbook runneth over with them
>
> Surely thermals shall exist for me
> All the days of my flying
> And I shall fly my circuit beneath Cumulus
> Hopefully, forever.
>
> Amen
>
> (Untitled)
> Oh! I've slipped through the swirling clouds of dust,
> a few feet from the dirt,
> I've flown the Phantom low enough,
> to make my bottom hurt.
> I've TFO'd the deserts, hills, valleys
> and mountains too,
> Frolicked in the trees,
> where only flying squirrels flew.
> Chased the frightened cows along,
> disturbed the ram and ewe,
> And done a hundred other things,
> that you'd not care to do.
> I've smacked the tiny sparrow,
> bluebird, robin, all the rest,
> I've ingested baby eaglets,
> simply sucked them from their nest!
> I've streaked through total darkness,
> just the other guy and me,
> And spent the night in terror of
> things I could not see.
> I've turned my eyes to heaven,
> as I sweated through the flight,
> Put out my hand and touched,
> the master caution light.
> -Author Unknown
>
> "My *first* wife didn't like to fly, either" Gordon Baxter
>
> "One good hole in the overcast is worth ten published approaches" Len
> Morgan
>
> "Eagles may soar, but weasels never get sucked into jet air intakes" Brian
> Mulroney
>
> I used to work with a group of ex-USAF transport pilots who used
> to always tell me: "I'd rather be lucky than good, anyday"
>
> "Real pilots roll over and slip it in."
>
> I'm waiting to be told how cobras, hooks, or vectored thrust help in
> combat. They're great at air shows, but zero energy is a fighter
> pilot's nightmare. Shoot your opponent down and his number two will be
> on your tail thinking it's his birthday--a target hanging there in the
> sky with zero energy.
> -- Ned Firth of Eurofighter at Farnborough '94
>
> There is no excuse for an airplane unless it will fly fast!
> -- Roscoe Turner
>
> Whoopie! Man, that may have been a small one for Neil, but it's a long
> one for me.
>
> -- Pete Conrad, the shortest Apollo astronaut, upon becoming the 3rd man
> to walk on the moon. He came up with these words months before the
> event, and won a $500 bet proving that NASA didn't write the famous
> Armstrong quote.
>
> A Mexican newspaper reports that bored Royal Air Force pilots stationed
> on the Falkland Islands have devised what they consider a marvelous new
> game. Noting that the local penguins are fascinated by airplanes, the
> pilots search out a beach where the birds are gathered and fly slowly
> along it at the water's edge. Perhaps ten thousand penguins turn their
> heads in unison watching the planes go by, and when the pilots turn
> around and fly back, the birds turn their heads in the opposite
> direction, like spectators at a slow-motion tennis match. Then, the
> paper reports, "The pilots fly out to sea and directly to the penguin
> colony and overfly it. Heads go up, up, up, and ten thousand penguins
> fall over gently onto their backs.
>
> -- Audobon Society Magazine
>
> Fortune's Law of the Week (this week, from Kentucky):
> No female shall appear in a bathing suit at any airport in this
> State unless she is escorted by two officers or unless she is armed
> with a club. The provisions of this statute shall not apply to females
> weighing less than 90 pounds nor exceeding 200 pounds, nor shall it
> apply to female horses.
>
> Famous Last Words:
>
> "Wanna hear something really funny, Buddy? I told the pilot I only
> weigh 175 so he'd let me come..."
> -- The Big Bopper
>
> In Columbia, Pennsylvania, it is against the law for a pilot to tickle
> a female flying student under her chin with a feather duster in order
> to get her attention.
>
> In Lowes Crossroads, Delaware, it is a violation of local law for any
> pilot or passenger to carry an ice cream cone in their pocket while
> either flying or waiting to board a plane.
>
> In Pocataligo, Georgia, it is a violation for a woman over 200 pounds
> and attired in shorts to pilot or ride in an airplane.
>
> It is appearances, characteristics and performance that make a man love
> an airplane, and they, told truly, are what put emotion into one. You love
> a lot of things if you live around them, but there isn't any woman and
> there isn't any horse, not any before nor any after, that is as lovely as
> a great airplane, and men who love them are faithful to them even though
> they leave them for others.
>
> -- Ernest Hemingway
>
> "Flying is learning to throw yourself at the ground, and miss."
>
> -- Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
>
>
> "Flying an aeroplane with only a single propellor to keep you in
> the air. Can you imagine that?"
>
> -- Capt. Picard, in STTNG episode "Booby Trap"
>
> Son, never ask a man if he is a fighter pilot.
> If he is, he'll let you know.
> If he isn't, don't embarrass him.
> -- The Great Santini "Get ready for a fighter pilot".
>
> A busy person has time for what he takes time for.
> If flying is important to YOU, YOU will find a way to accomplish it.
> If it is not that important to YOU, there is no reason to attempt to fool
> yourself or anyone else about what is important to you.
> -- Jer/ Eberhard
>
> A male pilot is a confused soul who talks about women when he's flying,
> and about flying when he's with a woman.
>
> Ad astra, per aspera.
> To the stars thru hardship.
>
> Airport Test: Go through your address book,
> call people and ask them to drive you to the airport.
> The ones who will drive you are your true friends.
> The rest aren't bad people, they are just acquaintenances.
>
> Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
> -- Arthur C. Clarke
>
> Character is what you do when no one is looking.
>
> Dear Lord, please watch over me, the sky is so big and my airplane so
> small.
>
> Flying is like sex - I've never had all I wanted but occasionally I've
> had all I could stand.
> -- Stephen Coonts in Cannibal Queen
>
> For those who do not feel Civil Air Patrol (CAP) should be Air Force
> John Wayne said it best, "Mister, you better find a new line of work."
>
> If it flies, floats, or fornicates, it's cheaper to rent.
>
> In most peoples lives, one discovers that this is a great life and there
> are some dues to pay back. One tries to pay this back in various ways.
> Volunteering for Aviation Safety Counseling and Civil Air Patrol helps
> me to pay back this personal debt.
>
> Of the living ... none, not one who truly loves the sky would trade a
> hundred earth bound hours for one that he could fly.
>
> Renting airplanes is like renting sex:
> It's difficult to arrange on short notice on Saturday,
> the fun things always cost more,
> and someone's always looking at their watch.
>
> Science, Freedom, Beauty, Adventure... aviation offers it all.
> -- Charles Lindberg
>
> The most important things in life are: Your Family, Your Religion,
> Aviation and Civil Air Patrol (CAP).
> -- Jer/ Eberhard, et.al.
>
> 95% of pilots wasted in IFR conditions are buried on VFR days.
> - Think about it... burial usually happens about 3 days after death!
> WAIT and fly safe!
>
> You just have to get comfortable with fear.
> -- 99s at a Women Pilot's seminar
>
> "No aircraft ever took and held ground."
> -US Marine
>
> "Turn to kill, not to engage." CDR Willie Driscoll, USN
>
> How about "There are old pilots and there are bold pilots, but there are
> no old, bold pilots". - Anon. (First heardfrom an Aussis crop-
> duster in Indonesia back in 1969).
>
> "The only time a fighter has too much gas is when it's on fire."
> CDR Tom Sobieck, VF-51, 1989
>
> "Willie, how long can you tread water?" CDR Randy "Duke" Cunningham,
> after his and Willie's F-4 took a missile hit over NVN and he dashed
> for the coast.
>
> "A MiG at your six is better than no MiG at all." Anonymous US
> fighter pilot.
>
> "Better to roll the hobbs meter than roll the plane!"
> Tom - CFI Seattle
>
> "Two CFI's flying together is equal to 1/2 a student."
> - Unknown
>
> What's the difference between God and Pilots?
> God doesn't think he's a pilot......
>
> "The duty of the fighter pilot is to patrol his area of the sky, and
> shoot down any enemy fighters in that area. Anything else is rubbish!"
> Manfred von Richtofen
> -Quote refers to why Richtofen would not let members of his Staffel
> strafe troops in the trenches.
>
> You're not a real pilot till you take the bus home.
>
> "Better to be on the ground wishing to be in the air than in the air
> wishing to be on the ground"
> Unknown...
>
> "Once you have flown, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward,
> for there you have been, there you long to return."
> -Leonardo da Vinci (1452 - 1519)
>
> Quote of a Chinese WX man during the WW-II: "Ceiling and visibility obscured
> by darkness."
>
> "A human being is the best computer available to place in a spacecraft.
> . . It is also the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor."
> -Werner Von Braun
>
> "Every F-4 takes off with two in flight emergencies:
> 1. It's on fire
> 2. It's low on fuel."
> - Anonomous (Navy) F-4 Pilot
>
> Parachutists are good to the last drop (found on a bumper sticker from a
> parachute school!)
>
> Stan Koszelak Work to live... live to fly!
> Anything worth doing... requires a helmet!
> Riverside, CA, USA He who flies with the most toys... wins!
>
> "Bother" said Pooh when his engine stalled on take-off.
>
> In a world full of people only some want to fly, isn't that crazy...
And Shakespeare, on glider contests:
"And do as adversaries do in law, Strive mightily, but eat and drink as friends." The Taming of the Shrew
> Everybody loves quotes. Everybody loves flying. Here is the best of both
> worlds, a mixture of quotes, humorous sayings poems, etc. (Much thanks to
> everyone who sent material in. Email new quotes, money, corrections, blah
> blah to David Bratzer at )
>
> "Combat flying is long hours of total boredom interrupted by seconds of sheer
> terror."
> -Unknown
>
> "I've had a ball."
> -Chuck Yeager, describing his Air Force career which spanned over 30 years.
>
> Come to the edge.
> We might fall.
> Come to the edge.
> It's too high!
> COME TO THE EDGE!
> And they came,
> and he pushed,
> and they flew.
>
> Logue, Christopher
> English poet (1926- )
>
> "When we walk to the edge of all the light we have and take the step into the
> darkness of the unknown, we must believe that one of 2 things will happen:
> there will be something solid for us to stand on, or we will learn to fly."
> -Anonymous
>
> "Captain John Greenhalgh, Army Air Corps: Captain Greenhalgh lifted four
> wounded soldiers off the forward slope of Darwin Hill, in direct sight of the
> enemy, at last light. He found them by flying south until the enemy shot at
> him. Then he knew where he was. Later, hearing a Para officer lay dying on
> the other edge of the battle, where B Company were pinned down, he flew in
> the dark, with no night vision equipment, navigating with a map and
> flashlight. He found the man, brought him back, and saved his life."
> -From some book
>
> If God meant man to fly, He'd have given him more money.
>
> The three things that never did anybody any good: the altitude
> that's above you, the runway that's behind you, and the gas that's
> still in the truck.
>
> [The fourth, according to Jim Sanders, is a field-grade navigator.]
>
> If it flies, floats or fornicates, it's cheaper to rent.
>
> The purpose of a propeller is to keep the pilot cool. If you don't
> believe it, turn it off and watch him sweat.
>
> A good landing is any one you walk away from.
>
> --
> \~~\
> \ \ _ _ _______________________________________
> _\ \ \ | ) ___\ Dear Lord, Be good to me. The sky |
> _/__\ \#|__\| )________/ is so vast & my airplane is so small. |
> <____ \ \_,--\ \ \ ___\---------------------------------------
> 6 6 \ \ \_\ Si Deane -- Owensboro Ky.
> \ \
> ~~~
>
> In response to a controller remarking on the speed of his plane, the
> pilot replied "If Robert E. Lee had one of these, we'd need a visa to
> get into Pennsylvania".
>
> In response to how he checked the weather, "I just whip out my blue
> card with a hole in it and read what it says: 'When colour of card
> matches colour of sky, FLY!'"
> Gordon Baxter
>
>
> "To put your life in danger from time to time....breeds a saneness in
> dealing with day-to-day trivialities."
>
> from SLIDE RULE
> by Nevil Shute
>
>
> "Did you ever notice whenever a pilot dies because of bad weather,
> they're always buried on a sunny day."
>
> Jack Poague
>
>
> "A midair collision seriously erodes climb performance."
>
> Barry Schiff
>
> (Airplanes are) near perfect, all they lack is the ability to forgive.
>
> Richard Collins
> Flying Magazine
> August 1988
>
> At the Reno air races:
>
> "You can grab ahold of an airplane here, and literally take your life
> in both hands. One for the throttle and one for the stick, and you can
> control your own destiny free of most rules and regulations. Well, it
> may not be better than your wedding night, but it's probably better
> than the second one."
>
> "You know, adrenalin is a naturally induced narcotic, but it's
> stronger than most narcotics. And once you get it movin' around in
> there, I mean, it's a rush that's hard to describe, and you get it
> when you get this puppy movin'."
>
> Alan Preston
> air race pilot
>
>
> The following are excerpts from NASA's Aviation Safety Reporting System
> publication "Callback":
>
> On a large jet following a maintenance test flight, the
> pilot-in-command wrote in the aircraft log, "Aircraft satisfactory,
> except autoland very rough." The mechanics sign-off was, "Autoland not
> installed on this aircraft."
>
> "...if everything is going along smoothly something MUST have been
> overlooked."
>
> Pilot: "Outer marker, inbound."
> Tower: "Roger, cleared to land, winds 270 at 21, gusting 29, heavy
> rain, severe turbulence below 300, RVR 2,000 feet."
> Pilot: "Roger--cleared to land--and oh, let us know if it gets any
> worse."
> WORSE?!
>
> "Just keep looking around; there's always something you've missed."
>
> "Get enough sleep. If you can't leave your worries at home, stay there
> with them."
>
> "The nicest VFR is just as dangerous as the worst IFR."
>
> No bird soars too high,
> If he soars with his own wings.
>
> William Blake
>
> "It's the most exciting thing you have ever done with your pants on!"
>
> Flight of the Intruder
> Stephen Coonts
>
> *************
> The following statements are taken from Flying Magazine August 1993.
> They are a collection of "Rules for Pilots" that Len Morgan put
> together from all his years of experience in the aviation industry.
>
> Flying is not dangerous; crashing is dangerous.
>
> Flying is the perfect vocation for a man who wants to feel like a boy,
> but not for one who still is.
>
> There are four ways to fly: the right way, the wrong way, the company
> way and the captain's way. Only one counts.
>
> An airplane may disappoint a good pilot, but it won't surprise him.
>
> Any pilot who relies on a terminal forecast can be sold the Brooklyn
> Bridge. If he relies on winds-aloft reports he can be sold Niagara
> Falls.
>
> The friendliest stewardesses are those on the trip home.
>
> Being an airline pilot would be great if you didn't have to go on all
> those trips.
>
> The nicer an airplane looks, the better it flies.
>
> Jet and piston engines work on the same principle: Suck and squeeze,
> blow and go.
>
> There are three rules for making a smooth landing: Unfortunately, no
> one knows what they are.
>
> Passengers prefer old captains and young stewardesses.
>
> The only thing worse than a captain who never flew as copilot is a
> copilot who once was a captain.
>
> Any pilot who does not privately consider himself the best in the game
> is in the wrong game.
>
> If an earthquake suddenly opened a fissure in a runway that caused an
> accident, the NTSB would find a way to blame in on pilot error.
>
> A smooth touchdown in a simulator is as exciting as kissing your
> sister.
>
> Tell someone you work for another airline and he'll tell you how much
> better yours is.
>
> Any attempt to stretch fuel is guaranteed to increase headwinds.
>
> A thunderstorm is never as bad on the inside as it appears on the
> outside. It's worse.
>
> Most airline food tastes like warmed-over chicken because that's what
> it is.
>
> Everything is accomplished through teamwork until something goes
> wrong, then one pilot gets all the blame.
>
> If it doesn't work, rename it; if that doesn't help, the new name
> isn't long enough.
>
> A good simulator check ride is like successful surgery on a cadaver.
>
> Asking what a pilot thinks about the FAA is like asking a fireplug
> what it thinks about dogs.
>
> Trust your captain .... but keep your seatbelt securely fastened.
>
> When a forecaster talks about yesterday's weather, he's an historian;
> when he talks about tomorrow's, he's reading tea leaves.
>
> A thunderstorm is nature's way of saying, "Up yours."
> **********
>
> The 3 Rules of ACM:
> * Speed is Life
> * Lose Sight - Lose Fight
> * If You're Not Cheating - You're Not Trying Hard Enough
>
> [Note: I think ACM stands for Air Combat Manoeuvres, but I'm not sure. If
> someone could confirm this I'd appreciate it]
>
> Glider pilots never premature release.
>
> Glider pilots can slip it anywhere.
>
> [I know just about *everyone* has read this poem, but I'm including it
> anyway]
>
> "High Flight"
>
> Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of Earth,
> and danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;
> Sunward I've climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth
> Of sun-split clouds- and done a hundred things
> You have not dreamed of- wheeled and soared and swung
> High in the sunlit silence. Hov'ring there,
> I've chased the shouting wind along and flung
> My eager craft through footless halls of air.
>
> Up, up the long delirious burning blue
> I've topped the wind-swept heights with easy grace,
> Where never lark, or even eagle flew;
> And, while silent lifting mind I've trod
> The high untrespassed sanctity of space,
> Put out my hand, and touched the face of God...
> -J.G. Magee, Jr. [WWII fighter pilot]
>
> [For all you gliding enthusiasts...]
> BRONTE FLIGHT
>
> Oh, I have slipped the surly bonds of rope
> A few feet from "The Road".
> I whip the Schweitzer 'round so fast
> Exceeds the max'mum load.
> I've slipped, I've stalled, I've spiral dived,
> Spun past the sixth full turn.
> "You can't do that!" the new ones say,
> They've got a lot to learn.
>
> I find a thermal, turn in it
> To try and gain some height.
> But I must beat the towplane down
> Or this is my last flight!
> On 2-3 fly a crooked base
> Then crank the plane around.
> Or 2-9: pass the hangers then
> I dive straight for the ground!
> But the best is 3-6 final when
> I know I should be higher,
> Put out my hand and touch
> The passing telephone wire!
> -Author Unknown
>
> 'Aviate, Navigate, Communicate'
>
> 'The superior pilot uses his superior judgment to
> avoid situations regarding superior skill'
>
> The Glider Student Prayer:
> The Instructor is my sheperd, I shall not wander
> He leadeth me beside the runway
> He maketh me touch down softly
> He restoreth my airspeed
>
> Yea though I fly through the valley of clear turbulence
> I shall fear no spins, for thou art with me
> Thy have fist on the controls, it comforts me
> Thou bestoweth me without cable breaks
> Otherwise, my logbook runneth over with them
>
> Surely thermals shall exist for me
> All the days of my flying
> And I shall fly my circuit beneath Cumulus
> Hopefully, forever.
>
> Amen
>
> (Untitled)
> Oh! I've slipped through the swirling clouds of dust,
> a few feet from the dirt,
> I've flown the Phantom low enough,
> to make my bottom hurt.
> I've TFO'd the deserts, hills, valleys
> and mountains too,
> Frolicked in the trees,
> where only flying squirrels flew.
> Chased the frightened cows along,
> disturbed the ram and ewe,
> And done a hundred other things,
> that you'd not care to do.
> I've smacked the tiny sparrow,
> bluebird, robin, all the rest,
> I've ingested baby eaglets,
> simply sucked them from their nest!
> I've streaked through total darkness,
> just the other guy and me,
> And spent the night in terror of
> things I could not see.
> I've turned my eyes to heaven,
> as I sweated through the flight,
> Put out my hand and touched,
> the master caution light.
> -Author Unknown
>
> "My *first* wife didn't like to fly, either" Gordon Baxter
>
> "One good hole in the overcast is worth ten published approaches" Len
> Morgan
>
> "Eagles may soar, but weasels never get sucked into jet air intakes" Brian
> Mulroney
>
> I used to work with a group of ex-USAF transport pilots who used
> to always tell me: "I'd rather be lucky than good, anyday"
>
> "Real pilots roll over and slip it in."
>
> I'm waiting to be told how cobras, hooks, or vectored thrust help in
> combat. They're great at air shows, but zero energy is a fighter
> pilot's nightmare. Shoot your opponent down and his number two will be
> on your tail thinking it's his birthday--a target hanging there in the
> sky with zero energy.
> -- Ned Firth of Eurofighter at Farnborough '94
>
> There is no excuse for an airplane unless it will fly fast!
> -- Roscoe Turner
>
> Whoopie! Man, that may have been a small one for Neil, but it's a long
> one for me.
>
> -- Pete Conrad, the shortest Apollo astronaut, upon becoming the 3rd man
> to walk on the moon. He came up with these words months before the
> event, and won a $500 bet proving that NASA didn't write the famous
> Armstrong quote.
>
> A Mexican newspaper reports that bored Royal Air Force pilots stationed
> on the Falkland Islands have devised what they consider a marvelous new
> game. Noting that the local penguins are fascinated by airplanes, the
> pilots search out a beach where the birds are gathered and fly slowly
> along it at the water's edge. Perhaps ten thousand penguins turn their
> heads in unison watching the planes go by, and when the pilots turn
> around and fly back, the birds turn their heads in the opposite
> direction, like spectators at a slow-motion tennis match. Then, the
> paper reports, "The pilots fly out to sea and directly to the penguin
> colony and overfly it. Heads go up, up, up, and ten thousand penguins
> fall over gently onto their backs.
>
> -- Audobon Society Magazine
>
> Fortune's Law of the Week (this week, from Kentucky):
> No female shall appear in a bathing suit at any airport in this
> State unless she is escorted by two officers or unless she is armed
> with a club. The provisions of this statute shall not apply to females
> weighing less than 90 pounds nor exceeding 200 pounds, nor shall it
> apply to female horses.
>
> Famous Last Words:
>
> "Wanna hear something really funny, Buddy? I told the pilot I only
> weigh 175 so he'd let me come..."
> -- The Big Bopper
>
> In Columbia, Pennsylvania, it is against the law for a pilot to tickle
> a female flying student under her chin with a feather duster in order
> to get her attention.
>
> In Lowes Crossroads, Delaware, it is a violation of local law for any
> pilot or passenger to carry an ice cream cone in their pocket while
> either flying or waiting to board a plane.
>
> In Pocataligo, Georgia, it is a violation for a woman over 200 pounds
> and attired in shorts to pilot or ride in an airplane.
>
> It is appearances, characteristics and performance that make a man love
> an airplane, and they, told truly, are what put emotion into one. You love
> a lot of things if you live around them, but there isn't any woman and
> there isn't any horse, not any before nor any after, that is as lovely as
> a great airplane, and men who love them are faithful to them even though
> they leave them for others.
>
> -- Ernest Hemingway
>
> "Flying is learning to throw yourself at the ground, and miss."
>
> -- Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
>
>
> "Flying an aeroplane with only a single propellor to keep you in
> the air. Can you imagine that?"
>
> -- Capt. Picard, in STTNG episode "Booby Trap"
>
> Son, never ask a man if he is a fighter pilot.
> If he is, he'll let you know.
> If he isn't, don't embarrass him.
> -- The Great Santini "Get ready for a fighter pilot".
>
> A busy person has time for what he takes time for.
> If flying is important to YOU, YOU will find a way to accomplish it.
> If it is not that important to YOU, there is no reason to attempt to fool
> yourself or anyone else about what is important to you.
> -- Jer/ Eberhard
>
> A male pilot is a confused soul who talks about women when he's flying,
> and about flying when he's with a woman.
>
> Ad astra, per aspera.
> To the stars thru hardship.
>
> Airport Test: Go through your address book,
> call people and ask them to drive you to the airport.
> The ones who will drive you are your true friends.
> The rest aren't bad people, they are just acquaintenances.
>
> Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
> -- Arthur C. Clarke
>
> Character is what you do when no one is looking.
>
> Dear Lord, please watch over me, the sky is so big and my airplane so
> small.
>
> Flying is like sex - I've never had all I wanted but occasionally I've
> had all I could stand.
> -- Stephen Coonts in Cannibal Queen
>
> For those who do not feel Civil Air Patrol (CAP) should be Air Force
> John Wayne said it best, "Mister, you better find a new line of work."
>
> If it flies, floats, or fornicates, it's cheaper to rent.
>
> In most peoples lives, one discovers that this is a great life and there
> are some dues to pay back. One tries to pay this back in various ways.
> Volunteering for Aviation Safety Counseling and Civil Air Patrol helps
> me to pay back this personal debt.
>
> Of the living ... none, not one who truly loves the sky would trade a
> hundred earth bound hours for one that he could fly.
>
> Renting airplanes is like renting sex:
> It's difficult to arrange on short notice on Saturday,
> the fun things always cost more,
> and someone's always looking at their watch.
>
> Science, Freedom, Beauty, Adventure... aviation offers it all.
> -- Charles Lindberg
>
> The most important things in life are: Your Family, Your Religion,
> Aviation and Civil Air Patrol (CAP).
> -- Jer/ Eberhard, et.al.
>
> 95% of pilots wasted in IFR conditions are buried on VFR days.
> - Think about it... burial usually happens about 3 days after death!
> WAIT and fly safe!
>
> You just have to get comfortable with fear.
> -- 99s at a Women Pilot's seminar
>
> "No aircraft ever took and held ground."
> -US Marine
>
> "Turn to kill, not to engage." CDR Willie Driscoll, USN
>
> How about "There are old pilots and there are bold pilots, but there are
> no old, bold pilots". - Anon. (First heardfrom an Aussis crop-
> duster in Indonesia back in 1969).
>
> "The only time a fighter has too much gas is when it's on fire."
> CDR Tom Sobieck, VF-51, 1989
>
> "Willie, how long can you tread water?" CDR Randy "Duke" Cunningham,
> after his and Willie's F-4 took a missile hit over NVN and he dashed
> for the coast.
>
> "A MiG at your six is better than no MiG at all." Anonymous US
> fighter pilot.
>
> "Better to roll the hobbs meter than roll the plane!"
> Tom - CFI Seattle
>
> "Two CFI's flying together is equal to 1/2 a student."
> - Unknown
>
> What's the difference between God and Pilots?
> God doesn't think he's a pilot......
>
> "The duty of the fighter pilot is to patrol his area of the sky, and
> shoot down any enemy fighters in that area. Anything else is rubbish!"
> Manfred von Richtofen
> -Quote refers to why Richtofen would not let members of his Staffel
> strafe troops in the trenches.
>
> You're not a real pilot till you take the bus home.
>
> "Better to be on the ground wishing to be in the air than in the air
> wishing to be on the ground"
> Unknown...
>
> "Once you have flown, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward,
> for there you have been, there you long to return."
> -Leonardo da Vinci (1452 - 1519)
>
> Quote of a Chinese WX man during the WW-II: "Ceiling and visibility obscured
> by darkness."
>
> "A human being is the best computer available to place in a spacecraft.
> . . It is also the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor."
> -Werner Von Braun
>
> "Every F-4 takes off with two in flight emergencies:
> 1. It's on fire
> 2. It's low on fuel."
> - Anonomous (Navy) F-4 Pilot
>
> Parachutists are good to the last drop (found on a bumper sticker from a
> parachute school!)
>
> Stan Koszelak Work to live... live to fly!
> Anything worth doing... requires a helmet!
> Riverside, CA, USA He who flies with the most toys... wins!
>
> "Bother" said Pooh when his engine stalled on take-off.
>
> In a world full of people only some want to fly, isn't that crazy...
And Shakespeare, on glider contests:
"And do as adversaries do in law, Strive mightily, but eat and drink as friends." The Taming of the Shrew