Helping with land out blues............

[Tom Kelley #711]

Recent research findings from independent groups in University of
Bristol and Sage college in Troy, NY, show cow dung to be an excellent
mood enhancing agent. Cow dung contains a bacteria Mycobacterium
vaccae, which activates a group of neurons in the brain that produce
serotonin - a neurotransmitter that contributes to feelings of well
being and happiness.
So the next time you land out or feel depressed try
finding some fresh cow dung and get a lungful of this fresh fragrance.........

Best. #711.

[2G]

On Friday, April 1, 2016 at 9:00:54 PM UTC-7, Tom Kelley #711 wrote:
> Recent research findings from independent groups in University of
> Bristol and Sage college in Troy, NY, show cow dung to be an excellent
> mood enhancing agent. Cow dung contains a bacteria Mycobacterium
> vaccae, which activates a group of neurons in the brain that produce
> serotonin - a neurotransmitter that contributes to feelings of well
> being and happiness.
> So the next time you land out or feel depressed try
> finding some fresh cow dung and get a lungful of this fresh fragrance.........
>
> Best. #711.

Hey Tom, is it purely coincidental that it is April 1st today?

[[email protected]]

I landed in a cow pasture a couple years ago. Once I got stopped and opened the canopy, there was a group of 5 or 6 cows standing shoulder to shoulder staring at me. It reminded me of teenaged boys at a dance: "You go talk to her." "No, you go!" "Ok, I'll go if you do!" It was one of the funniest things I've ever seen. But once I got out of the glider (and didn't have any cow food) they got bored and wandered off.

[[email protected]]

Cow dung at a land out spot would indeed be welcome where I fly as it would mean that a clear area at least as big as one cow was available. That would be vastly more desirable than the steep cliffs and sharp ridges that are below me on 90% of my flights.

[son_of_flubber]

The dairymen in Vermont periodically spread their manure piles on hayfields to get rid of it. The smell at 3000 AGL indicates a strong thermal close at hand.

[Dan Marotta]

During on of my parachute training jumps, as I approached landing and
began my flare, I was faced with a cactus and a cow pie. Luckily I was
able to split the difference (by sheer luck).

Dan

On 4/2/2016 6:40 AM, son_of_flubber wrote:
> The dairymen in Vermont periodically spread their manure piles on hayfields to get rid of it. The smell at 3000 AGL indicates a strong thermal close at hand.

[[email protected]]

A friend of mine once ejected from an F-104 and touched down in a field that had just been covered with manure. His feet touched the ground and he went right over forward onto his face into the fresh cow leavings. He said the glamour and pride he felt as a young fighter pilot was at a low ebb that day.

[bumper[_4_]]

I experienced loss of power flying my Husky several years ago, a cow pasture was the only option. I encountered strong sink and had to cut my pattern short and land the short dimension cross hill, rather than up hill. Short final looked to be lots of rocks - not good. Pasture was being irrigated, no cows, and what I thought were rocks were clumps of cow patties, lots and lots of them. Things I learned:

Braking in wet cow manure is nil. It behaves like grease but smells worse.

An intentional ground loop can prevent you from going through a barbed wire fence, but just barely.

The swoopy paint pattern common on motor homes doesn't look all that great when it's in brown on the side of the plane and hanging down under the elevator.

The rancher said, I heard you a comin' over that ridge and it didn't sound good to me, I knew you was in trouble. I allowed as to how I was right there in the cockpit and it didn't sound real good to me neither! He said nobodies ever landed here in this pasture before - I told him I was sorry to be the first, but did appreciate that he removed the cows prior to my arrival :c(

[Bob Pasker]

There is some truth to this. Psilocybin (AKA "magic mushrooms") grow on cow dung, and is sometimes referred to as "caca de vaca"

On Saturday, April 2, 2016 at 12:00:54 AM UTC-4, Tom Kelley #711 wrote:
> Recent research findings from independent groups in University of
> Bristol and Sage college in Troy, NY, show cow dung to be an excellent
> mood enhancing agent. Cow dung contains a bacteria Mycobacterium
> vaccae, which activates a group of neurons in the brain that produce
> serotonin - a neurotransmitter that contributes to feelings of well
> being and happiness.
> So the next time you land out or feel depressed try
> finding some fresh cow dung and get a lungful of this fresh fragrance.........
>
> Best. #711.

[howard banks]

I once landed in an ugly empty field. Soon there were two fairly frisky horses clomping around my then 20; fortunately they kept their hooves to themselves. After snuffling the canopy by one of them they went back to their corralled area. To be replaced by five cows, one much larger than the others.
They turned out to be cows complete with appendages, the whole 9 yards as it were. And the lead one, a kinda Brahmin bull with a hump, seemed to be pretty cross that I was in his field. The younger ones, still complete ones, were increasingly agitated by the leader's crossness. For a while much scraping at the dirt and tossing dust and heads and snorting. I covered my face with my silly flying hat to prevent there being eyes for them to focus on -- and eventually they wandered off.
Most "interesting" landout ever for all sorts of other reasons. Glad it will never be repeated,







On Friday, April 1, 2016 at 10:00:54 PM UTC-6, Tom Kelley #711 wrote:
> Recent research findings from independent groups in University of
> Bristol and Sage college in Troy, NY, show cow dung to be an excellent
> mood enhancing agent. Cow dung contains a bacteria Mycobacterium
> vaccae, which activates a group of neurons in the brain that produce
> serotonin - a neurotransmitter that contributes to feelings of well
> being and happiness.
> So the next time you land out or feel depressed try
> finding some fresh cow dung and get a lungful of this fresh fragrance..........
>
> Best. #711.

[[email protected]]

Ok, I got the "Far side" Gary Larson one in last year.

I landed out in a large pasture. At the near end were several 8 or so cows mostly young heifers. I flew over them and landed in the middle of a 3/4 mile square field and rolled to about 200 feet from the far corner. I got out and called for a ground retrieve and set about to secure the glider in the corner of the field to protect it from any thing that may come by. I was busy for about five minutes or so focused inside the cockpit with my back to the field. When I finally stood up and turned around there were 10 cows equally spaced in a half semicircle exactly the same distance away, about 15 feet, all looking at me with intense curiosity and heads slightly cocked! I thought that Gary would have had a great caption under this cartoon. Something to the effect of "Don't let em go girls, he maybe our only means of escape"!

[JS]

There's only one prescription for landout blues... More cowbell!
Jim

[Don Johnstone[_4_]]

At 04:00 02 April 2016, Tom Kelley #711 wrote:
>Recent research findings from independent groups in University of
>Bristol and Sage college in Troy, NY, show cow dung to be an
excellent
>mood enhancing agent. Cow dung contains a bacteria Mycobacterium
>vaccae, which activates a group of neurons in the brain that produce
>serotonin - a neurotransmitter that contributes to feelings of well
>being and happiness.
>So the next time you land out or feel depressed try
>finding some fresh cow dung and get a lungful of this fresh
>fragrance.........
>
>Best. #711.

So let me get this straight. Your prescription for the effects of landing
out is a large dose of bull****? Can't see that working for too many
people, even on 1Apr :-)

[Mark628CA]

The winner of the bovine vs. glider story contest has to be Francois Pin. He landed a PW-5 in a pasture in Florida and after securing the glider and putting the canopy cover on, started to walk out to find a phone. Looked back just in time to see a bull attempting to mate with the PW-5. Stuck both front hooves through the canopy.

There are some who would make an observation that the front of a PW-5 looks like the back end of a cow, but I am not one of them.

[Tom Kelley #711]

On Friday, April 1, 2016 at 10:28:46 PM UTC-6, 2G wrote:
> On Friday, April 1, 2016 at 9:00:54 PM UTC-7, Tom Kelley #711 wrote:
> > Recent research findings from independent groups in University of
> > Bristol and Sage college in Troy, NY, show cow dung to be an excellent
> > mood enhancing agent. Cow dung contains a bacteria Mycobacterium
> > vaccae, which activates a group of neurons in the brain that produce
> > serotonin - a neurotransmitter that contributes to feelings of well
> > being and happiness.
> > So the next time you land out or feel depressed try
> > finding some fresh cow dung and get a lungful of this fresh fragrance.........
> >
> > Best. #711.
>
> Hey Tom, is it purely coincidental that it is April 1st today?

I did a simple copy and paste. Its gender related. But for those wishing to come out of their man caves, here another link....

http://news.discovery.com/human/health/cow-dung-medicine-spiritual-india.htm

Also, its now sold on Ebay, Amazon and True Value. Check your toothpaste brand for ingredients used!

Best. #711.

[Tom Kelley #711]

On Wednesday, April 6, 2016 at 4:15:08 AM UTC-6, Don Johnstone wrote:
> At 04:00 02 April 2016, Tom Kelley #711 wrote:
> >Recent research findings from independent groups in University of
> >Bristol and Sage college in Troy, NY, show cow dung to be an
> excellent
> >mood enhancing agent. Cow dung contains a bacteria Mycobacterium
> >vaccae, which activates a group of neurons in the brain that produce
> >serotonin - a neurotransmitter that contributes to feelings of well
> >being and happiness.
> >So the next time you land out or feel depressed try
> >finding some fresh cow dung and get a lungful of this fresh
> >fragrance.........
> >
> >Best. #711.
>
> So let me get this straight. Your prescription for the effects of landing
> out is a large dose of bull****? Can't see that working for too many
> people, even on 1Apr :-)

No RX needed! Also, have you ever, I mean ever, heard a land out story which didn't contain some bull****?

Best. #711.

[Dan Marotta]

I always heard that, if you land in a field with only one cow it it,
it's a bull. I consider that to be good advice.

On 4/5/2016 8:17 PM, howard banks wrote:
> I once landed in an ugly empty field. Soon there were two fairly frisky horses clomping around my then 20; fortunately they kept their hooves to themselves. After snuffling the canopy by one of them they went back to their corralled area. To be replaced by five cows, one much larger than the others.
> They turned out to be cows complete with appendages, the whole 9 yards as it were. And the lead one, a kinda Brahmin bull with a hump, seemed to be pretty cross that I was in his field. The younger ones, still complete ones, were increasingly agitated by the leader's crossness. For a while much scraping at the dirt and tossing dust and heads and snorting. I covered my face with my silly flying hat to prevent there being eyes for them to focus on -- and eventually they wandered off.
> Most "interesting" landout ever for all sorts of other reasons. Glad it will never be repeated,
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> On Friday, April 1, 2016 at 10:00:54 PM UTC-6, Tom Kelley #711 wrote:
>> Recent research findings from independent groups in University of
>> Bristol and Sage college in Troy, NY, show cow dung to be an excellent
>> mood enhancing agent. Cow dung contains a bacteria Mycobacterium
>> vaccae, which activates a group of neurons in the brain that produce
>> serotonin - a neurotransmitter that contributes to feelings of well
>> being and happiness.
>> So the next time you land out or feel depressed try
>> finding some fresh cow dung and get a lungful of this fresh fragrance.........
>>
>> Best. #711.

--
Dan, 5J