Tools

[ORVAL FAIRAIRN]

I got this one from a friend. How true!


Thought you might enjoy these. They are RIGHT on the mark!


>>
>> a.* DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching
>> flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the
>> chest and flings your beer across the room, splattering it against
that
>> freshly painted part you were drying.
>>
>> b.* WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere
>> under the workbench with the speed of light.* Also removes fingerprint
>> whorls and hard-earned guitar calluses in about the time it takes you
to
>> say, "Ouch...."
>>
>> c.* ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning pop rivets in
their
>> holes until you die of old age

>> d.* PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads.
>>
>> e.* HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board
>> principle.* It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable
>> motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more
>> dismal your future becomes.
>>
>> f.* VISE-GRIPS: Used to round off bolt heads.* If nothing else is
>> available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to
the
>> palm of your hand.
>>
>> g.* OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various
>> flammable objects in your shop on fire.
>> Also handy for igniting the grease inside a wheel hub you're trying to
>> get the bearing race out of.
>>
>> h.* WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older British cars and
>> motorcycles, they are now used mainly for impersonating that 9/16 or
1/2
>> socket you've been searching for the last 15 minutes.
>>
>> i.* HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the
ground
>> after you have installed your new disk brake pads, trapping the jack
>> handle firmly under the bumper.
>>
>> j.* EIGHT-FOOT LONG DOUGLAS FIR 2X4: Used for levering an automobile
>> upward off a hydraulic jack handle.
>>
>> k.* TWEEZERS: A tool for removing wood splinters.
>>
>> l.* PHONE: Tool for calling your neighbor to see if he has another
>> hydraulic floor jack.
>>
>> m.* SNAP-ON GASKET SCRAPER: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool
for
>> spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-do off your boot.
>>
>> n.* E-Z OUT BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool that snaps off in bolt
holes
>> and is ten times harder than any known drill bit.
>>
>> o.* TWO-TON HYDRAULIC ENGINE HOIST: A handy tool for testing the
tensile
>> strength of bolts and fuel lines you may have forgotten to
>> disconnect.
>>
>> p.CRAFTSMAN 1/2 x 16-INCH SCREWDRIVER: A large motor mount prying tool
>> that inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the
end
>> without the handle.
>>
>> q.AVIATION METAL SNIPS: See hacksaw.
>>
>> r.* TROUBLE LIGHT: The home builder's own tanning booth.
>> Sometimes called drop light, it is a good source of vitamin D, "the
>> sunshine vitamin," which is not otherwise found under cars at
>> night.* Health benefits aside, it's main purpose is to consume 40-watt
>> light bulbs at about the same rate that 105-mm howitzer shells might
be
>> used during, say, the first few hours of the Battle of the Bulge.
>> More often dark than light, its name is somewhat misleading.
>>
>> s.PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the lids of old-style
>> paper-and-tin oil cans and splash oil on your shirt; can also be used,
>> as the name implies, to round off Phillips screw heads.
>>
>> t.AIR COMPRESSOR: A machine that takes energy produced in a
coal-burning
>> power plant 200 miles away and transforms it into compressed air that
>> travels by hose to a Chicago Pneumatic impact wrench that grips rusty
>> bolts last tightened 70 years ago by someone at Ford, and rounds
>> them off.
>>
>> u.PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or
>> bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.
>>
>> v.HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to cut hoses 1/2 inch too short.
>>
>> w.HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays
is
>> used as a kind of divining rod to locate expensive parts not far from
>> the object we are trying to hit.
>>
>> x.MECHANIC'S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of
>> cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly
well
>> on boxes containing seats, chrome and plastic parts.

[Mike Rapoport]

It is a different size standard. There is SAE, Metric and Whitworth.

Mike
MU-2


"Morgans" > wrote in message
...
>
> "ORVAL FAIRAIRN" > wrote
>
>> >> h. WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older British cars and
>> >> motorcycles, they are now used mainly for impersonating that 9/16 or
>> 1/2
>> >> socket you've been searching for the last 15 minutes.
>
>
> I am not familiar with the Whitworth socket. What is the significance, as
> used here?
> --
> Jim in NC
>

[Morgans]

"ORVAL FAIRAIRN" > wrote

> >> h. WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older British cars and
> >> motorcycles, they are now used mainly for impersonating that 9/16 or
> 1/2
> >> socket you've been searching for the last 15 minutes.


I am not familiar with the Whitworth socket. What is the significance, as
used here?
--
Jim in NC

[Bart D. Hull]

They were used on English cars and motorcycles.
The "size" of the wrench was based on the diameter of the
stud size that the nut fit. (Typical bass-awkwards English
idea.) A 1/4" Whitworth was about 9/16" or a little larger
in true OD measurement of the flats on the nut. They had
fine and coarse thread as well.

Biggest PITA was BSA motorcycle cylinder nuts. They were
8pt 1/4 or 3/8 Whitworth. You had to have the correct wrench
or they rounded like butter. Most Whitworth wrenches I saw
were only open jaw, not box ends, but maybe that's all that
made it to the U.S.

I'm not a old fart either. My parents owned a British,
Italian, German motorcycle shop. (We worked on ANYTHING!)
Lots of "what the heck is this", but it was interesting.

Scariest part was when MG's had American, Metric and
Whitworth. Nothing sucks more than trying to figure out what
wrench to use on what parts when your fiddleing in the dark
(remember they used Lucas electics!!!) I'd love to punch the
engineer that said "but my part of the car is (fill in the
blank with Metric, SAE, or Whitworth.)

Then to top it off, depending on what year the MG was, it
was positive or negative ground. Look at the alt wiring
BEFORE you connect those cables.

Just give me a standard and STICK WITH IT!

Rant off

Bart D. Hull

Tempe, Arizona

Check http://www.inficad.com/~bdhull/engine.html
for my Subaru Engine Conversion
Check http://www.inficad.com/~bdhull/fuselage.html
for Tango II I'm building.

Remove -nospam to reply via email.

Morgans wrote:
> "Mike Rapoport" > wrote in message
> ink.net...
>
>>It is a different size standard. There is SAE, Metric and Whitworth.
>>
>>Mike
>>MU-2
>
>
> *That* is one little fact that I could have gone my whole life without
> knowing. <g> On the otherhand.... Another whole set of tools to buy! :-)
> or :-( Hummm.
>
> What is the basis of the sizes? (if you know what I mean)
>
> What kind of beasts are (or were) they used on?

[Morgans]

"Mike Rapoport" > wrote in message
ink.net...
> It is a different size standard. There is SAE, Metric and Whitworth.
>
> Mike
> MU-2

*That* is one little fact that I could have gone my whole life without
knowing. <g> On the otherhand.... Another whole set of tools to buy! :-)
or :-( Hummm.

What is the basis of the sizes? (if you know what I mean)

What kind of beasts are (or were) they used on?
--
Jim in NC

[Blue]

Bloody Brilliant, cried with laughter....

--

Regards

Blue


"ORVAL FAIRAIRN" > wrote in message
...
>I got this one from a friend. How true!
>
>
> Thought you might enjoy these. They are RIGHT on the mark!
>
>
>>>
>>> a. DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching
>>> flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the
>>> chest and flings your beer across the room, splattering it against
> that
>>> freshly painted part you were drying.
>>>
>>> b. WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere
>>> under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprint
>>> whorls and hard-earned guitar calluses in about the time it takes you
> to
>>> say, "Ouch...."
>>>
>>> c. ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning pop rivets in
> their
>>> holes until you die of old age
>
>>> d. PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads.
>>>
>>> e. HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board
>>> principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable
>>> motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more
>>> dismal your future becomes.
>>>
>>> f. VISE-GRIPS: Used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is
>>> available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to
> the
>>> palm of your hand.
>>>
>>> g. OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various
>>> flammable objects in your shop on fire.
>>> Also handy for igniting the grease inside a wheel hub you're trying to
>>> get the bearing race out of.
>>>
>>> h. WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older British cars and
>>> motorcycles, they are now used mainly for impersonating that 9/16 or
> 1/2
>>> socket you've been searching for the last 15 minutes.
>>>
>>> i. HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the
> ground
>>> after you have installed your new disk brake pads, trapping the jack
>>> handle firmly under the bumper.
>>>
>>> j. EIGHT-FOOT LONG DOUGLAS FIR 2X4: Used for levering an automobile
>>> upward off a hydraulic jack handle.
>>>
>>> k. TWEEZERS: A tool for removing wood splinters.
>>>
>>> l. PHONE: Tool for calling your neighbor to see if he has another
>>> hydraulic floor jack.
>>>
>>> m. SNAP-ON GASKET SCRAPER: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool
> for
>>> spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-do off your boot.
>>>
>>> n. E-Z OUT BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool that snaps off in bolt
> holes
>>> and is ten times harder than any known drill bit.
>>>
>>> o. TWO-TON HYDRAULIC ENGINE HOIST: A handy tool for testing the
> tensile
>>> strength of bolts and fuel lines you may have forgotten to
>>> disconnect.
>>>
>>> p.CRAFTSMAN 1/2 x 16-INCH SCREWDRIVER: A large motor mount prying tool
>>> that inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the
> end
>>> without the handle.
>>>
>>> q.AVIATION METAL SNIPS: See hacksaw.
>>>
>>> r. TROUBLE LIGHT: The home builder's own tanning booth.
>>> Sometimes called drop light, it is a good source of vitamin D, "the
>>> sunshine vitamin," which is not otherwise found under cars at
>>> night. Health benefits aside, it's main purpose is to consume 40-watt
>>> light bulbs at about the same rate that 105-mm howitzer shells might
> be
>>> used during, say, the first few hours of the Battle of the Bulge.
>>> More often dark than light, its name is somewhat misleading.
>>>
>>> s.PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the lids of old-style
>>> paper-and-tin oil cans and splash oil on your shirt; can also be used,
>>> as the name implies, to round off Phillips screw heads.
>>>
>>> t.AIR COMPRESSOR: A machine that takes energy produced in a
> coal-burning
>>> power plant 200 miles away and transforms it into compressed air that
>>> travels by hose to a Chicago Pneumatic impact wrench that grips rusty
>>> bolts last tightened 70 years ago by someone at Ford, and rounds
>>> them off.
>>>
>>> u.PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or
>>> bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.
>>>
>>> v.HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to cut hoses 1/2 inch too short.
>>>
>>> w.HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays
> is
>>> used as a kind of divining rod to locate expensive parts not far from
>>> the object we are trying to hit.
>>>
>>> x.MECHANIC'S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of
>>> cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly
> well
>>> on boxes containing seats, chrome and plastic parts.

[jerry wass]

Bart D. Hull wrote:
> They were used on English cars and motorcycles.
> The "size" of the wrench was based on the diameter of the stud size that
> the nut fit. (Typical bass-awkwards English idea.) A 1/4" Whitworth was
> about 9/16" or a little larger
> in true OD measurement of the flats on the nut. They had
> fine and coarse thread as well.
>
> Biggest PITA was BSA motorcycle cylinder nuts. They were
> 8pt 1/4 or 3/8 Whitworth. You had to have the correct wrench or they
> rounded like butter. Most Whitworth wrenches I saw were only open jaw,
> not box ends, but maybe that's all that made it to the U.S.
>
> I'm not a old fart either. My parents owned a British, Italian, German
> motorcycle shop. (We worked on ANYTHING!)
> Lots of "what the heck is this", but it was interesting.
>
> Scariest part was when MG's had American, Metric and Whitworth. Nothing
> sucks more than trying to figure out what wrench to use on what parts
> when your fiddleing in the dark (remember they used Lucas electics!!!)
> I'd love to punch the engineer that said "but my part of the car is
> (fill in the blank with Metric, SAE, or Whitworth.)
>
> Then to top it off, depending on what year the MG was, it was positive
> or negative ground. Look at the alt wiring BEFORE you connect those cables.
>
> Just give me a standard and STICK WITH IT!
>
> Rant off
>
> Bart D. Hull
>
> Tempe, Arizona
>
> Check http://www.inficad.com/~bdhull/engine.html
> for my Subaru Engine Conversion
> Check http://www.inficad.com/~bdhull/fuselage.html
> for Tango II I'm building.
>
> Remove -nospam to reply via email.
>
> Morgans wrote:
>
>> "Mike Rapoport" > wrote in message
>> ink.net...
>>
>>> It is a different size standard. There is SAE, Metric and Whitworth.
>>>
>>> Mike
>>> MU-2
>>
>>
>>
>> *That* is one little fact that I could have gone my whole life without
>> knowing. <g> On the otherhand.... Another whole set of tools to buy!
>> :-)
>> or :-( Hummm.
>>
>> What is the basis of the sizes? (if you know what I mean)
>>
>> What kind of beasts are (or were) they used on?

Rite purty set-up---why'd the leave one groove out of the 10 groove
V-belt pulley----Alignment??Jerry

[Anthony W]

Richard Riley wrote:
> On Wed, 07 Sep 2005 03:47:29 GMT, ORVAL FAIRAIRN
> > wrote:
>
> :I got this one from a friend. How true!
> :
> :
> :Thought you might enjoy these. They are RIGHT on the mark!
>
> But is a list of useless tools complete without Juan?
>

But juan isn't a tool, he's a knob and a useless one at that.

Tony

[Stuart & Kathryn Fields]

Don't forget the dreaded C clamp that requires two hands to apply to two
pieces already requiring two hands to hold in place.
Also the uncalibrated torque wrench used to snap off studs that are
thoroughly seized in your crankcase.
The nibbler that is designed to swell your forearm to a new size while it
digests the skin in the web of your hand between the thumb and forefinger.
All of the Tools are necessary items in the Post Doctoral course in cussing.
I now attract a small crowd when I'm working with my tools. They are
thoroughly impressed that I can cuss for 15 minutes without repeating
myself.
--
Stuart Fields
Experimental Helo magazine

"Blue" > wrote in message
u...
> Bloody Brilliant, cried with laughter....
>
> --
>
> Regards
>
> Blue
>
>
> "ORVAL FAIRAIRN" > wrote in message
> ...
> >I got this one from a friend. How true!
> >
> >
> > Thought you might enjoy these. They are RIGHT on the mark!
> >
> >
> >>>
> >>> a. DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching
> >>> flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the
> >>> chest and flings your beer across the room, splattering it against
> > that
> >>> freshly painted part you were drying.
> >>>
> >>> b. WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere
> >>> under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprint
> >>> whorls and hard-earned guitar calluses in about the time it takes you
> > to
> >>> say, "Ouch...."
> >>>
> >>> c. ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning pop rivets in
> > their
> >>> holes until you die of old age
> >
> >>> d. PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads.
> >>>
> >>> e. HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board
> >>> principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable
> >>> motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more
> >>> dismal your future becomes.
> >>>
> >>> f. VISE-GRIPS: Used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is
> >>> available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to
> > the
> >>> palm of your hand.
> >>>
> >>> g. OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various
> >>> flammable objects in your shop on fire.
> >>> Also handy for igniting the grease inside a wheel hub you're trying to
> >>> get the bearing race out of.
> >>>
> >>> h. WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older British cars and
> >>> motorcycles, they are now used mainly for impersonating that 9/16 or
> > 1/2
> >>> socket you've been searching for the last 15 minutes.
> >>>
> >>> i. HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the
> > ground
> >>> after you have installed your new disk brake pads, trapping the jack
> >>> handle firmly under the bumper.
> >>>
> >>> j. EIGHT-FOOT LONG DOUGLAS FIR 2X4: Used for levering an automobile
> >>> upward off a hydraulic jack handle.
> >>>
> >>> k. TWEEZERS: A tool for removing wood splinters.
> >>>
> >>> l. PHONE: Tool for calling your neighbor to see if he has another
> >>> hydraulic floor jack.
> >>>
> >>> m. SNAP-ON GASKET SCRAPER: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool
> > for
> >>> spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-do off your boot.
> >>>
> >>> n. E-Z OUT BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool that snaps off in bolt
> > holes
> >>> and is ten times harder than any known drill bit.
> >>>
> >>> o. TWO-TON HYDRAULIC ENGINE HOIST: A handy tool for testing the
> > tensile
> >>> strength of bolts and fuel lines you may have forgotten to
> >>> disconnect.
> >>>
> >>> p.CRAFTSMAN 1/2 x 16-INCH SCREWDRIVER: A large motor mount prying tool
> >>> that inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the
> > end
> >>> without the handle.
> >>>
> >>> q.AVIATION METAL SNIPS: See hacksaw.
> >>>
> >>> r. TROUBLE LIGHT: The home builder's own tanning booth.
> >>> Sometimes called drop light, it is a good source of vitamin D, "the
> >>> sunshine vitamin," which is not otherwise found under cars at
> >>> night. Health benefits aside, it's main purpose is to consume 40-watt
> >>> light bulbs at about the same rate that 105-mm howitzer shells might
> > be
> >>> used during, say, the first few hours of the Battle of the Bulge.
> >>> More often dark than light, its name is somewhat misleading.
> >>>
> >>> s.PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the lids of old-style
> >>> paper-and-tin oil cans and splash oil on your shirt; can also be used,
> >>> as the name implies, to round off Phillips screw heads.
> >>>
> >>> t.AIR COMPRESSOR: A machine that takes energy produced in a
> > coal-burning
> >>> power plant 200 miles away and transforms it into compressed air that
> >>> travels by hose to a Chicago Pneumatic impact wrench that grips rusty
> >>> bolts last tightened 70 years ago by someone at Ford, and rounds
> >>> them off.
> >>>
> >>> u.PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or
> >>> bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.
> >>>
> >>> v.HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to cut hoses 1/2 inch too short.
> >>>
> >>> w.HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays
> > is
> >>> used as a kind of divining rod to locate expensive parts not far from
> >>> the object we are trying to hit.
> >>>
> >>> x.MECHANIC'S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of
> >>> cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly
> > well
> >>> on boxes containing seats, chrome and plastic parts.
>
>

[Morgans]

"Stuart & Kathryn Fields" > wrote

> I now attract a small crowd when I'm working with my tools. They are
> thoroughly impressed that I can cuss for 15 minutes without repeating
> myself.

ROTFLMAO ! I have to use that line, with your permission! It sounds like
me.

I recently topped my best, by shooting a air powered roofing nail, all the
way through my little finger, on the outside of my fingernail, coming out
the middle of the bottom. Ouch!
--
Jim in NC

[Montblack]

("Bart D. Hull" wrote)
[snip]
> Then to top it off, depending on what year the MG was, it was positive or
> negative ground. Look at the alt wiring BEFORE you connect those cables.


I snapped off two lug bolts on my brother's 63? Dodge pickup trying to
change a flat. Reverse thread on one side. Doh!


Montblack

[John Clear]

In article >,
Morgans > wrote:
>
>"Stuart & Kathryn Fields" > wrote
>
>> I now attract a small crowd when I'm working with my tools. They are
>> thoroughly impressed that I can cuss for 15 minutes without repeating
>> myself.
>
>ROTFLMAO ! I have to use that line, with your permission! It sounds like
>me.

From the trivia page on IMDB for Full Metal Jacket:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093058/trivia

Former US Marines Drill Instructor R. Lee Ermey was hired as a
consultant on how to drill USMC style. He performed a demonstration
on videotape in which he yelled obscene insults and abuse for
fifteen minutes without stopping, repeating himself, or even
flinching - despite being continuously pelted with tennis balls
and oranges. Director Stanley Kubrick was so impressed that he cast
R. Lee Ermey as Gunnery Sergeant Hartmann.


--
John Clear - http://www.clear-prop.org/

[W P Dixon]

Shhhhhhh,
You know Marines can't cuss at recruits during boot camp ;) Little
mommies and daddies may get upset ;) HEE HEE HEE

Patrick
student SPL
aircraft structural mech

"John Clear" > wrote in message
...
> In article >,
> Morgans > wrote:
>>
>>"Stuart & Kathryn Fields" > wrote
>>
>>> I now attract a small crowd when I'm working with my tools. They are
>>> thoroughly impressed that I can cuss for 15 minutes without repeating
>>> myself.
>>
>>ROTFLMAO ! I have to use that line, with your permission! It sounds like
>>me.
>
> From the trivia page on IMDB for Full Metal Jacket:
>
> http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093058/trivia
>
> Former US Marines Drill Instructor R. Lee Ermey was hired as a
> consultant on how to drill USMC style. He performed a demonstration
> on videotape in which he yelled obscene insults and abuse for
> fifteen minutes without stopping, repeating himself, or even
> flinching - despite being continuously pelted with tennis balls
> and oranges. Director Stanley Kubrick was so impressed that he cast
> R. Lee Ermey as Gunnery Sergeant Hartmann.
>
>
> --
> John Clear - http://www.clear-prop.org/
>

[UltraJohn]

Anthony W wrote:

> Richard Riley wrote:
>> On Wed, 07 Sep 2005 03:47:29 GMT, ORVAL FAIRAIRN
>> > wrote:
>>
>> :I got this one from a friend. How true!
>> :
>> :
>> :Thought you might enjoy these. They are RIGHT on the mark!
>>
>> But is a list of useless tools complete without Juan?
>>
>
> But juan isn't a tool, he's a knob and a useless one at that.
>
> Tony

Something like "As useful as tits on a bull"!

[Dan, U.S. Air Force, retired]

Stuart & Kathryn Fields wrote:
> Don't forget the dreaded C clamp that requires two hands to apply to two
> pieces already requiring two hands to hold in place.
> Also the uncalibrated torque wrench used to snap off studs that are
> thoroughly seized in your crankcase.
> The nibbler that is designed to swell your forearm to a new size while it
> digests the skin in the web of your hand between the thumb and forefinger.
> All of the Tools are necessary items in the Post Doctoral course in cussing.
> I now attract a small crowd when I'm working with my tools. They are
> thoroughly impressed that I can cuss for 15 minutes without repeating
> myself.

Don't forget the english wheel which is terrific for extracting blood
from under one's fingernails.

Dan, U.S. Air Force, retired

[Dan, U.S. Air Force, retired]

UltraJohn wrote:

> Anthony W wrote:
>
>
>>Richard Riley wrote:
>>
>>>On Wed, 07 Sep 2005 03:47:29 GMT, ORVAL FAIRAIRN
> wrote:
>>>
>>>:I got this one from a friend. How true!
>>>:
>>>:
>>>:Thought you might enjoy these. They are RIGHT on the mark!
>>>
>>>But is a list of useless tools complete without Juan?
>>>
>>
>>But juan isn't a tool, he's a knob and a useless one at that.
>>
>>Tony
>
>
> Something like "As useful as tits on a bull"!
>
Actually yawn isn't totally worthless. If nothing else he can be
used as a bad example or the before picture in a before and after set.


Dan, U.S. Air Force, retired

[Morgans]

"Montblack" > wrote

> I snapped off two lug bolts on my brother's 63? Dodge pickup trying to
> change a flat. Reverse thread on one side. Doh!

Yep, didn't snap one, but sure had me scratching my head. <g> It isn't as
though the wheel is rotating about the stud, trying to spin the nut off!
--
Jim in NC

[Frank van der Hulst]

Morgans wrote:
> I recently topped my best, by shooting a air powered roofing nail, all the
> way through my little finger, on the outside of my fingernail, coming out
> the middle of the bottom. Ouch!

Well, if it's time for war stories...

My best involved a jigsaw. In a bit of rush, so didn't clamp the work
down solidly. The blade (Did I mention that I get extra use out of every
blade by using them until they're totally blunt?) snagged, the whole saw
jumped so that the blade was about an inch above the work, and,
crucially, higher than my thumb. Down it came, through the thumbnail,
and out the fleshy part of the thumb.

Actually, the worst part was about a week later. The tissue in my thumb
was healing into a big lumpy mass, and the doctor decided that liquid
nitrogen was the way to get rid of it. Tears to the eyes stuff, that is!

[[email protected]]

On Wed, 7 Sep 2005 19:40:40 -0500, "Montblack"
> wrote:

>I snapped off two lug bolts on my brother's 63? Dodge pickup trying to
>change a flat. Reverse thread on one side. Doh!
>
>
>Montblack

That would be the left or drivers side of the vehical. One of
Chrysler's committments to better engineering. :-/

The idea was that if a lugnut was loose, the rolling motion of the
wheel on the road would tend to keep the nut from actually turning
itself off the lug.

No other auto manufacturer thought it a snarky enough idea to copy it,
ever.

Corky Scott

[john smith]

> I recently topped my best, by shooting a air powered roofing nail, all the
> way through my little finger, on the outside of my fingernail, coming out
> the middle of the bottom. Ouch!

This coming from a "professional" carpenter! :-)

[Morgans]

"Frank van der Hulst" > wrote

> Actually, the worst part was about a week later. The tissue in my thumb
> was healing into a big lumpy mass, and the doctor decided that liquid
> nitrogen was the way to get rid of it. Tears to the eyes stuff, that is!

Mine healed very nicely; antibiotics right away, and the nail was clean,
unlike your blade.

I have experienced the LN, for big warts when I was a kid. They would kill
the flesh, and turn it black, then it would form a scab and fall off. I
hated that doctor.
--
Jim in NC

[Morgans]

"john smith" > wrote

> This coming from a "professional" carpenter! :-)

Sad, huh? The more familiar you are with something, the more you take it
for granted. I jerked a tangled air hose, and the gun and my finger met in
mid air.

One thing is true, I think. The more you do something, the more likely you
are to have a problem with it. If you never use a nail gun, you never will
shoot a nail into your finger! :-)
--
Jim in NC

[Bart D. Hull]

Sorry Corky,

International Scouts also had left and right hand lug nuts.
I had a wheel come off due to the lug nuts being put on by
someone that didn't know this. Felt they might be stripped
so they didn't tighten them any further.

Was a wild turn when the passenger side front tire came off!

I pounded out the studs on the passenger side and put the
normal studs all around.


Bart D. Hull

Tempe, Arizona

Check http://www.inficad.com/~bdhull/engine.html
for my Subaru Engine Conversion
Check http://www.inficad.com/~bdhull/fuselage.html
for Tango II I'm building.

Remove -nospam to reply via email.

wrote:
> On Wed, 7 Sep 2005 19:40:40 -0500, "Montblack"
> > wrote:
>
>
>>I snapped off two lug bolts on my brother's 63? Dodge pickup trying to
>>change a flat. Reverse thread on one side. Doh!
>>
>>
>>Montblack
>
>
> That would be the left or drivers side of the vehical. One of
> Chrysler's committments to better engineering. :-/
>
> The idea was that if a lugnut was loose, the rolling motion of the
> wheel on the road would tend to keep the nut from actually turning
> itself off the lug.
>
> No other auto manufacturer thought it a snarky enough idea to copy it,
> ever.
>
> Corky Scott

[Don Hammer]

>They were used on English cars and motorcycles.



This is an airplane forum. Don't forget them.
All the Hawker Siddley/BAE/Raytheon Hawkers come with a British
Standard Whitworth tool kit. All the hydraulic fittings are BS and
the rest of the hardware is SAE.

[[email protected]]

Mike Rapoport wrote:
> It is a different size standard. There is SAE, Metric and Whitworth.
>

ISTR there are different metric standards. The most common being DIN,
but didn't British have their own metric thread standards for a while?

--

FF