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April 3rd 06, 05:53 PM
What would you have thought, had you seen the following posted on April
1st?

A low time pilot (we'll call him Alpha Omega) launches with a dozen
other pilots in the first day of the group's annual contest series. AO
has very little, if any, x/c experience, and only recently bought the
glider. The weather is iffy and a 2.5 hour TAT is called. Top of the
lift about 5500 - 6000' (MSL) over desert terrain. While most of the
group is in the first turn area to the SE around 3pm, a radio call
comes in. AO has landed out and is calling in his coordinates for relay
to the gliderport so they can come get him.

The regulars return home late in the afternoon after a tough task to a
gliderport busy with the overflow traffic caused by the unexpected
closing of the other commercial gliderport on the other side of town.
The Grobs are going up and down as fast as the towplanes can haul them.
The staff is going crazy keeping up with it all and AO is sitting out
in the desert nearly forgotten, far out of range of any cell tower.

The regulers have his coordinates though and try to figure out why he
was 60 degrees off course track, in the middle of nowhere with no safe
places to land, and why his tow vehicle is locked up and the keys left
in an office whose staff is on the ramp snagging tow ropes. Eventually
we find someone, we'll call him IR (Intrepid Retriever), who can go get
AO; fortunately IR has many years of experience with the longest and
gnarliest of retrieves. With a GPS programmed to the glider's location,
IR heads out around 6pm.

YT (that would be yours truly) returns home to his girls, one of whom
is the CM for a major Regional contest coming up at the gliderport
whose doors were unceremoniously slammed closed that morning. It is
tough news; what to do?; worry about that after the w/e; the group had
two landouts today and lucky not to have four or five including YT. Off
to bed. Tomorrow is the second contest day.

Around 10pm, IR, after a wrong turn that costs several hours, hooks up
with AO. The glider has minor damage, but the trailer has literally
buckled in half on the bad dirt roads and is now a pile of aluminum
scrap. AO elects to stay with the glider overnight while IR drives home
to get some rest, to return the next morning. His head hits the pillow
at 1:30am and up 3 hours later to find AO again, with another trailer.

Meanwhile, around 11pm, emergency vehicles and fire trucks swarm the
contest gliderport. AO has contacted an airliner on the radio during
the day, and alleged ELT signals are being allegedly responded to. The
group's CD for the weekend, who is camping on the field, comes out and
informs them that the glider pilot landed safely, his location is
known, and there will only be an emergency if his comrades can't find
him the next morning. A half hour later, YT's phone rings; it's the
FAA. But he doesn't hear it, as he's fast asleep.

Sunday morning the group's president calls YT. The FAA, CAP, AF S&R
have all been up all night looking for AO. Hooboy. YT races back to the
gliderport. IR has already arrived and departed with the CD, pulling
IR's trailer. They return a few hours later, with IR's trailer missing
tailgate and rails, and AO's glider duct taped inside.

And so ends AO's first x/c effort, which YT understands was done
without navigation equipment. Will it be his last?

Not an April Fool's joke, but one very interesting weekend.

~ted/2NO

p.s. Sunday's weather is even worse. Only one pilots starts the MAT and
wins the day ... IR. The others were happy to see him bag 1000 points;
for all his work he deserved 2000!

April 3rd 06, 07:21 PM
Ok, that tops KS in cuffs in the back of a squad car!

Who's up next!

66

Papa3
April 3rd 06, 07:43 PM
wrote:
> What would you have thought, had you seen the following posted on April
> 1st?
>
> Sunday morning the group's president calls YT. The FAA, CAP, AF S&R
> have all been up all night looking for AO. Hooboy. YT races back to the
> gliderport. IR has already arrived and departed with the CD, pulling
> IR's trailer. They return a few hours later, with IR's trailer missing
> tailgate and rails, and AO's glider duct taped inside.
>
> And so ends AO's first x/c effort, which YT understands was done
> without navigation equipment. Will it be his last?
>
> Not an April Fool's joke, but one very interesting weekend.
>
> ~ted/2NO
>
> p.s. Sunday's weather is even worse. Only one pilots starts the MAT and
> wins the day ... IR. The others were happy to see him bag 1000 points;
> for all his work he deserved 2000!

Ted,

Aero Club Albatross (ACA) held its annual banquet over the weekend.
One of our awards is the Golden Retriever Award, given to the club
member who makes the most in number, most arduous, or most interesting
retrieve(s) during the year. Our winner this year was also a 2 day
retrieve which featured:

- Multiple visits to a local bar
- Looking for "the little guy who talks funny" (aka our Polish glider
pilot)
- A 10 mile hike to a major highway
- Medieval armor (bet that one piques some interest)
- The beautiful wife of the owner of the landing strip (that one too)
- A side visit to a distant airport to borrow a disassembly tool
- Two retrieve crews on the same retrieve with only one trailer

I thought this one would hold up on a national basis, but after your
report, I'm pretty sure you win hands-down.

Congratulations!

Erik Mann
LS8-18 (P3)

April 3rd 06, 11:15 PM
To Alpha Omega... whoever you are....

Thank you!

We, those who land out way too often, salute you!

It is due to your efforts that the rest of us will be able to tell our
'Golden Retievers' ... "At least I'm not as much trouble as Alpha
Omega!"

and now I understand that old Harry Belafonte song..." A-O, AAA-O,
daylight come and me wan' go home!"

MickiMinner
April 4th 06, 03:00 AM
Ted,
I REALLY liked the Harry Bellafonte song...works really good, however,
when I was on my VERY first retreive and had to entice a local dairy
farmer to use a tractor, rope and dairy cows to pull a glider out of a
muddy field....I kept humming to myself......
God didn't make little green apples,
It don't rain in Indianapolis in the summertime
....don't it make you wanna go home now?

BTIZ
April 4th 06, 03:11 AM
great story.. great retrieve..
but maybe the rest of the readers are as curious as I
what caused the other glider field to close? and for how long? and no
advance notice?

BT

> wrote in message
oups.com...
> What would you have thought, had you seen the following posted on April
> 1st?
>
> A low time pilot (we'll call him Alpha Omega) launches with a dozen
> other pilots in the first day of the group's annual contest series. AO
> has very little, if any, x/c experience, and only recently bought the
> glider. The weather is iffy and a 2.5 hour TAT is called. Top of the
> lift about 5500 - 6000' (MSL) over desert terrain. While most of the
> group is in the first turn area to the SE around 3pm, a radio call
> comes in. AO has landed out and is calling in his coordinates for relay
> to the gliderport so they can come get him.
>
> The regulars return home late in the afternoon after a tough task to a
> gliderport busy with the overflow traffic caused by the unexpected
> closing of the other commercial gliderport on the other side of town.
> The Grobs are going up and down as fast as the towplanes can haul them.
> The staff is going crazy keeping up with it all and AO is sitting out
> in the desert nearly forgotten, far out of range of any cell tower.
>
> The regulers have his coordinates though and try to figure out why he
> was 60 degrees off course track, in the middle of nowhere with no safe
> places to land, and why his tow vehicle is locked up and the keys left
> in an office whose staff is on the ramp snagging tow ropes. Eventually
> we find someone, we'll call him IR (Intrepid Retriever), who can go get
> AO; fortunately IR has many years of experience with the longest and
> gnarliest of retrieves. With a GPS programmed to the glider's location,
> IR heads out around 6pm.
>
> YT (that would be yours truly) returns home to his girls, one of whom
> is the CM for a major Regional contest coming up at the gliderport
> whose doors were unceremoniously slammed closed that morning. It is
> tough news; what to do?; worry about that after the w/e; the group had
> two landouts today and lucky not to have four or five including YT. Off
> to bed. Tomorrow is the second contest day.
>
> Around 10pm, IR, after a wrong turn that costs several hours, hooks up
> with AO. The glider has minor damage, but the trailer has literally
> buckled in half on the bad dirt roads and is now a pile of aluminum
> scrap. AO elects to stay with the glider overnight while IR drives home
> to get some rest, to return the next morning. His head hits the pillow
> at 1:30am and up 3 hours later to find AO again, with another trailer.
>
> Meanwhile, around 11pm, emergency vehicles and fire trucks swarm the
> contest gliderport. AO has contacted an airliner on the radio during
> the day, and alleged ELT signals are being allegedly responded to. The
> group's CD for the weekend, who is camping on the field, comes out and
> informs them that the glider pilot landed safely, his location is
> known, and there will only be an emergency if his comrades can't find
> him the next morning. A half hour later, YT's phone rings; it's the
> FAA. But he doesn't hear it, as he's fast asleep.
>
> Sunday morning the group's president calls YT. The FAA, CAP, AF S&R
> have all been up all night looking for AO. Hooboy. YT races back to the
> gliderport. IR has already arrived and departed with the CD, pulling
> IR's trailer. They return a few hours later, with IR's trailer missing
> tailgate and rails, and AO's glider duct taped inside.
>
> And so ends AO's first x/c effort, which YT understands was done
> without navigation equipment. Will it be his last?
>
> Not an April Fool's joke, but one very interesting weekend.
>
> ~ted/2NO
>
> p.s. Sunday's weather is even worse. Only one pilots starts the MAT and
> wins the day ... IR. The others were happy to see him bag 1000 points;
> for all his work he deserved 2000!
>

Raphael Warshaw
April 4th 06, 03:52 AM
see
http://www.asa-soaring.org/forum/topic.asp?topic_id=2028&forum_id=4&Topic_Ti
"BTIZ" > wrote in message
news:eBkYf.1506$CL6.225@fed1read11...
> great story.. great retrieve..
> but maybe the rest of the readers are as curious as I
> what caused the other glider field to close? and for how long? and no
> advance notice?
>
> BT
>
> > wrote in message
> oups.com...
>> What would you have thought, had you seen the following posted on April
>> 1st?
>>
>> A low time pilot (we'll call him Alpha Omega) launches with a dozen
>> other pilots in the first day of the group's annual contest series. AO
>> has very little, if any, x/c experience, and only recently bought the
>> glider. The weather is iffy and a 2.5 hour TAT is called. Top of the
>> lift about 5500 - 6000' (MSL) over desert terrain. While most of the
>> group is in the first turn area to the SE around 3pm, a radio call
>> comes in. AO has landed out and is calling in his coordinates for relay
>> to the gliderport so they can come get him.
>>
>> The regulars return home late in the afternoon after a tough task to a
>> gliderport busy with the overflow traffic caused by the unexpected
>> closing of the other commercial gliderport on the other side of town.
>> The Grobs are going up and down as fast as the towplanes can haul them.
>> The staff is going crazy keeping up with it all and AO is sitting out
>> in the desert nearly forgotten, far out of range of any cell tower.
>>
>> The regulers have his coordinates though and try to figure out why he
>> was 60 degrees off course track, in the middle of nowhere with no safe
>> places to land, and why his tow vehicle is locked up and the keys left
>> in an office whose staff is on the ramp snagging tow ropes. Eventually
>> we find someone, we'll call him IR (Intrepid Retriever), who can go get
>> AO; fortunately IR has many years of experience with the longest and
>> gnarliest of retrieves. With a GPS programmed to the glider's location,
>> IR heads out around 6pm.
>>
>> YT (that would be yours truly) returns home to his girls, one of whom
>> is the CM for a major Regional contest coming up at the gliderport
>> whose doors were unceremoniously slammed closed that morning. It is
>> tough news; what to do?; worry about that after the w/e; the group had
>> two landouts today and lucky not to have four or five including YT. Off
>> to bed. Tomorrow is the second contest day.
>>
>> Around 10pm, IR, after a wrong turn that costs several hours, hooks up
>> with AO. The glider has minor damage, but the trailer has literally
>> buckled in half on the bad dirt roads and is now a pile of aluminum
>> scrap. AO elects to stay with the glider overnight while IR drives home
>> to get some rest, to return the next morning. His head hits the pillow
>> at 1:30am and up 3 hours later to find AO again, with another trailer.
>>
>> Meanwhile, around 11pm, emergency vehicles and fire trucks swarm the
>> contest gliderport. AO has contacted an airliner on the radio during
>> the day, and alleged ELT signals are being allegedly responded to. The
>> group's CD for the weekend, who is camping on the field, comes out and
>> informs them that the glider pilot landed safely, his location is
>> known, and there will only be an emergency if his comrades can't find
>> him the next morning. A half hour later, YT's phone rings; it's the
>> FAA. But he doesn't hear it, as he's fast asleep.
>>
>> Sunday morning the group's president calls YT. The FAA, CAP, AF S&R
>> have all been up all night looking for AO. Hooboy. YT races back to the
>> gliderport. IR has already arrived and departed with the CD, pulling
>> IR's trailer. They return a few hours later, with IR's trailer missing
>> tailgate and rails, and AO's glider duct taped inside.
>>
>> And so ends AO's first x/c effort, which YT understands was done
>> without navigation equipment. Will it be his last?
>>
>> Not an April Fool's joke, but one very interesting weekend.
>>
>> ~ted/2NO
>>
>> p.s. Sunday's weather is even worse. Only one pilots starts the MAT and
>> wins the day ... IR. The others were happy to see him bag 1000 points;
>> for all his work he deserved 2000!
>>
>
>

Kilo Charlie
April 4th 06, 05:28 AM
> wrote in message
oups.com...
> To Alpha Omega... whoever you are....
>
> Thank you!
>
> We, those who land out way too often, salute you!
>
> It is due to your efforts that the rest of us will be able to tell our
> 'Golden Retievers' ... "At least I'm not as much trouble as Alpha
> Omega!"

Yup and 2NO even forgot to tell you about the nighttime visitors AO had. He
landed in a very remote valley (no ranches or lights with mountains on both
sides and the Luke AFB bombing range on its western edge) that as it turns
out is a conduit for immigrants from south of the border heading north on
the only dirt road for many miles around. I think he estimated hundreds of
people with some on bikes and a couple of trucks but most on foot. It would
be hard enough to sleep in a cold cockpit without that just outside the
canopy. Just imagine what those migrants must have thought as they came
across the moon shimmering off a shiny white glider with a human figure
inside wrapped in his canopy cover. The word "alien" takes on several
meanings.

KC

April 4th 06, 05:35 AM
I didn't forget, KC ... I was just trying to keep the post to a
reasonable length!

One correction though: what the CD actually told the emergency
responders was "You can stay, but you have to race. Oh, and there won't
be an emergency until after we retrieve the pilot in the morning, when
we've had a chance to beat the s**t out of him. Keep that ambulance
warmed up."

2NO

BTIZ
April 4th 06, 05:48 AM
Thanx.. we await news
BT

"Raphael Warshaw" > wrote in message
...
> see
> http://www.asa-soaring.org/forum/topic.asp?topic_id=2028&forum_id=4&Topic_Ti
> "BTIZ" > wrote in message
> news:eBkYf.1506$CL6.225@fed1read11...
>> great story.. great retrieve..
>> but maybe the rest of the readers are as curious as I
>> what caused the other glider field to close? and for how long? and no
>> advance notice?
>>
>> BT
>>

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