A REALLY bad joke

[Danny Dot]

I just went on a short x-country with 3 friends to have dinner. It was
night as we returned in my Cessna 170. One was asleep in the back. I told
the others I could put us in a spin and us 3 would could scream like we were
going to die as the sleeper woke up in the middle of a spin.

We voted not to.

Danny Dot
www.mobbinggonemad.org

[Jim Macklin]

It isn't approved for spins with all the seat full.


Why not just land and have your friends lift the tail up,
after the prop has stopped and balance it on the nose, the
scream.



"Danny Dot" > wrote in message
...
|I just went on a short x-country with 3 friends to have
dinner. It was
| night as we returned in my Cessna 170. One was asleep in
the back. I told
| the others I could put us in a spin and us 3 would could
scream like we were
| going to die as the sleeper woke up in the middle of a
spin.
|
| We voted not to.
|
| Danny Dot
| www.mobbinggonemad.org
|
|

[tony roberts]

I told
> the others I could put us in a spin and us 3 would could scream like we were
> going to die as the sleeper woke up in the middle of a spin.

ever hear of weight and balance?



--

Tony Roberts
PP-ASEL
VFR OTT
Night
Cessna 172H C-GICE

[buttman]

> A 170? With 2 people in the back seat?
>
> Read the POH. You wouldn't have been able to get out of the spin with
> the CG that far aft.
>
> I hope you're a troll. If you even considered this for a moment, you
> shouldn't be flying.

What's with people's need to always get their panties in a bunch about
little things like this all the time around here? HE SAID IT WAS A
JOKE. THEY NEVER DID IT. Jesus Christ people, go outside sometime...

[studentPPSEL]

"buttman" > wrote in message
ups.com...
>
> What's with people's need to always get their panties in a bunch about
> little things like this all the time around here? HE SAID IT WAS A
> JOKE. THEY NEVER DID IT. Jesus Christ people, go outside sometime...
>

I agree.....it seems that when people are behind a keyboard and monitor they
seem all too ready to jump down everyone's throats about little stuff. Now
if the OP had written that he had actually performed this maneuver then
maybe some criticism of his actions would be warranted.

A good well placed joke always reminds me of how funny life can be. But
taken too far and it is no longer funny!

[Darkwing]

"Danny Dot" > wrote in message
...
>I just went on a short x-country with 3 friends to have dinner. It was
>night as we returned in my Cessna 170. One was asleep in the back. I told
>the others I could put us in a spin and us 3 would could scream like we
>were going to die as the sleeper woke up in the middle of a spin.
>
> We voted not to.
>
> Danny Dot
> www.mobbinggonemad.org
>
>


One night driving to Florida my buddy was a sleep in the passenger seat and
I think we were the only vehicle in the area, I slammed on the brakes (we
both had belts on) and screamed! I laughed my ass off, he didn't think it
was near as funny, but I'm a huge dick.

-----------------------------------------
DW

[[email protected]]

B A R R Y wrote:

> Once upon a time, I was on a night flight with another (non-required)
> pilot, in a non-autopilot equipped aircraft. At some point, he fell
> asleep in the right seat. I turned the DG 180 degrees of where we
> were headed. I then bumped him, and thanked him for flying while I
> slept and asked how come we were headed the wrong way.
>
> The look on his face was worth it's weight in gold! <G>

OK, THAT was funny! It was creative, and no screaming.

[Steve Foley[_2_]]

Darkwing" <theducksmailATyahoo.com> wrote in message

>
> One night driving to Florida my buddy was a sleep in the passenger seat
> and I think we were the only vehicle in the area, I slammed on the brakes
> (we both had belts on) and screamed! I laughed my ass off, he didn't think
> it was near as funny, but I'm a huge dick.
>

A long time ago, I fell asleep whily my friend was driving. He locked up the
brakes on the highway and spun the car 360 degrees. I woke up in the middle.

[Greg B]

"Steve Foley" > wrote in message
...
> Darkwing" <theducksmailATyahoo.com> wrote in message
>
>>
>> One night driving to Florida my buddy was a sleep in the passenger seat
>> and I think we were the only vehicle in the area, I slammed on the brakes
>> (we both had belts on) and screamed! I laughed my ass off, he didn't
>> think it was near as funny, but I'm a huge dick.
>>
>
> A long time ago, I fell asleep whily my friend was driving. He locked up
> the brakes on the highway and spun the car 360 degrees. I woke up in the
> middle.

(More stupid people tricks..)

I had a passenger sleeping while I was following one of those large tow
trucks that was towing a semi-tractor by its tail. She woke up and screamed
at first until she realized we weren't on a collision course with the semi.
Sure startled me...

[Dale]

Hauling skydivers. I took an extra yoke along stuffed next to my seat.
After we'd been climbing awhile I told the guy next to me to be quiet as
I got the extra yoke out of hiding. I let out the expected "Oh S*&^" as
I wiggled the rudder a little and handed the yoke to the folks in back
as if mine had come off.

[[email protected]]

Greg B wrote:
> "Steve Foley" > wrote in message
> ...
> > Darkwing" <theducksmailATyahoo.com> wrote in message
> >
> >>
> >> One night driving to Florida my buddy was a sleep in the passenger seat
> >> and I think we were the only vehicle in the area, I slammed on the brakes
> >> (we both had belts on) and screamed! I laughed my ass off, he didn't
> >> think it was near as funny, but I'm a huge dick.
> >>
> >
> > A long time ago, I fell asleep whily my friend was driving. He locked up
> > the brakes on the highway and spun the car 360 degrees. I woke up in the
> > middle.
>
> (More stupid people tricks..)
>
> I had a passenger sleeping while I was following one of those large tow
> trucks that was towing a semi-tractor by its tail. She woke up and screamed
> at first until she realized we weren't on a collision course with the semi.
> Sure startled me...

Some other stupid tricks

A friend liked to drive around bends rather fast.
One day I janked the parking brake from the passenger seat when half
way in a turn, that was fun.

Put the driver seat in the most forward position when (s)he is out for
fuelling or something.
While you are at it, turn the fan to max., turn on the wipers at full
speed and if the power for the radio is switched on by the key put the
volume on max. Fun if the key is turned.
And do not forget to off set the rear view mirrors.

When waiting for traffic lights put the car in neutral without the
driver noticing, works best with manual gear.

-Kees.

[Timmay]

Dale wrote:
> Hauling skydivers. I took an extra yoke along stuffed next to my seat.
> After we'd been climbing awhile I told the guy next to me to be quiet as
> I got the extra yoke out of hiding. I let out the expected "Oh S*&^" as
> I wiggled the rudder a little and handed the yoke to the folks in back
> as if mine had come off.

That reminds me of a Far Side comic I saw once where the pilot was
about to hit the "Wings Fall Off" button by mistake. Classic!

[Larry Dighera]

On Mon, 27 Nov 2006 01:20:13 GMT, "studentPPSEL" > wrote
in <h3rah.379150$5R2.273310@pd7urf3no>:

>A good well placed joke always reminds me of how funny life can be.

Flying is a serious matter. Showing off and clowning are not
appropriate in the air. It takes an airman a few hundred hours to
appreciate his responsibility to his passengers and those over whom he
operates. You'll learn.

[B A R R Y[_2_]]

Larry Dighera wrote:
>
> Flying is a serious matter.

Absolutely!

> Showing off and clowning are not
> appropriate in the air.

Big difference between the two, and there are certainly times when
either can be extremely dangerous. However, there are plenty of times
when a giggle aloft is perfectly safe. The safety is the details.

>It takes an airman a few hundred hours to
> appreciate his responsibility to his passengers and those over whom he
> operates. You'll learn.

Apparently you've never read any of Captain Dave Gwinn's columns.

[Larry Dighera]

On Mon, 27 Nov 2006 12:23:58 GMT, B A R R Y >
wrote in >:


>Apparently you've never read any of Captain Dave Gwinn's columns.

No, but I've read quite a few NTSB reports.

Writing about aviation jokes, or including comedic content in an
aviation related lecture, a la Rod Machado, is often entertaining. But
the aerial practical jokester does his fellow airman a disservice in
the eyes of the non-flying public, and sets a poor example for novice
airmen.

[Doug[_1_]]

It's not JUST safety. The joke may be perfectly safe. But small
aircraft ARE dangerous and it's normal to worry somewhat about one's
safety while aboard. I always felt it was my job as captain to make my
passengers feel MORE safe, not less safe. Sure, ANYONE can scare a
passenger. Frankly if someone pulled one of these stunts on me, I'd
probably desert him as a friend and associate. These stunts have no
place in an airplane. Get your kicks some other way.

[Steve Foley]

"Timmay" > wrote in message
oups.com...
>
> Dale wrote:
>> Hauling skydivers. I took an extra yoke along stuffed next to my seat.
>> After we'd been climbing awhile I told the guy next to me to be quiet as
>> I got the extra yoke out of hiding. I let out the expected "Oh S*&^" as
>> I wiggled the rudder a little and handed the yoke to the folks in back
>> as if mine had come off.
>
> That reminds me of a Far Side comic I saw once where the pilot was
> about to hit the "Wings Fall Off" button by mistake. Classic!
>

A freind of mine always says 'oops - wing bolt' when the OJ vent cans fall
out of his Cessna.

[Mxsmanic]

Larry Dighera writes:

> Flying is a serious matter. Showing off and clowning are not
> appropriate in the air.

Agreed. It's a bit like a doctor making jokes to a patient about
whether or not he'll survive an upcoming operation.

--
Transpose mxsmanic and gmail to reach me by e-mail.

[Bob Fry]

>>>>> "GB" == Greg B > writes:

GB> I had a passenger sleeping while I was following one of those
GB> large tow trucks that was towing a semi-tractor by its
GB> tail. She woke up and screamed at first until she realized we
GB> weren't on a collision course with the semi. Sure startled
GB> me...

I had a kid scream a few seconds before landing in a C182 "we're going
to crash!!!" I remember thinking, humm, I don't think my landings are
that bad, does he see another plane??...then I realized he wasn't used
to the sight angle out the front of a Cessna in a steep descent with
40 degrees flaps.

I've had other pax ask if something is wrong when the throttle is
pulled back on downwind.

An instructor told me that one time slipping a plane to landing, his
wife thought they were going to crash.

Makes you realize that what to pilots are perfectly normal things, to
pax may be their last moments.

--
"Like car accidents, most hardware problems are due to driver error."

[Jim Macklin]

Never say, "Fasten your seat belts, we're going down."
Better say, "Fasten your seatbelt, I'm getting ready to
land." even if you're going down.



"Bob Fry" > wrote in message
...
| >>>>> "GB" == Greg B > writes:
|
| GB> I had a passenger sleeping while I was following
one of those
| GB> large tow trucks that was towing a semi-tractor by
its
| GB> tail. She woke up and screamed at first until she
realized we
| GB> weren't on a collision course with the semi. Sure
startled
| GB> me...
|
| I had a kid scream a few seconds before landing in a C182
"we're going
| to crash!!!" I remember thinking, humm, I don't think my
landings are
| that bad, does he see another plane??...then I realized he
wasn't used
| to the sight angle out the front of a Cessna in a steep
descent with
| 40 degrees flaps.
|
| I've had other pax ask if something is wrong when the
throttle is
| pulled back on downwind.
|
| An instructor told me that one time slipping a plane to
landing, his
| wife thought they were going to crash.
|
| Makes you realize that what to pilots are perfectly normal
things, to
| pax may be their last moments.
|
| --
| "Like car accidents, most hardware problems are due to
driver error."

[Jim Macklin]

Tiger Woods had a driver error, too.



"Bob Fry" > wrote in message
...
| >>>>> "GB" == Greg B > writes:
|
| GB> I had a passenger sleeping while I was following
one of those
| GB> large tow trucks that was towing a semi-tractor by
its
| GB> tail. She woke up and screamed at first until she
realized we
| GB> weren't on a collision course with the semi. Sure
startled
| GB> me...
|
| I had a kid scream a few seconds before landing in a C182
"we're going
| to crash!!!" I remember thinking, humm, I don't think my
landings are
| that bad, does he see another plane??...then I realized he
wasn't used
| to the sight angle out the front of a Cessna in a steep
descent with
| 40 degrees flaps.
|
| I've had other pax ask if something is wrong when the
throttle is
| pulled back on downwind.
|
| An instructor told me that one time slipping a plane to
landing, his
| wife thought they were going to crash.
|
| Makes you realize that what to pilots are perfectly normal
things, to
| pax may be their last moments.
|
| --
| "Like car accidents, most hardware problems are due to
driver error."

[Jose[_1_]]

> Never say, "Fasten your seat belts, we're going down."
> Better say, "Fasten your seatbelt, I'm getting ready to
> land." even if you're going down.

.... and your passengers might not know the difference between the crash
and your regular landings. <g>

Apropos of other "bad jokes", I used to tell my wife that when I'm
driving, if I don't like what I see, I just close my eyes for a while.
Once I closed my right eye and she freaked out for a moment until she
realized I was pulling her leg.

Jose
--
"There are 3 secrets to the perfect landing. Unfortunately, nobody knows
what they are." - (mike).
for Email, make the obvious change in the address.

[Jim Macklin]

I have always carried pretty good passengers, really don't
want to cause them problems at least until they pay the
bill.

I'd love to have a car with a full set of controls in the
right rear seat and drive on the freeway with nobody in the
front seats. Maybe a mini-van.




"Jose" > wrote in message
. com...
|> Never say, "Fasten your seat belts, we're going down."
| > Better say, "Fasten your seatbelt, I'm getting ready to
| > land." even if you're going down.
|
| ... and your passengers might not know the difference
between the crash
| and your regular landings. <g>
|
| Apropos of other "bad jokes", I used to tell my wife that
when I'm
| driving, if I don't like what I see, I just close my eyes
for a while.
| Once I closed my right eye and she freaked out for a
moment until she
| realized I was pulling her leg.
|
| Jose
| --
| "There are 3 secrets to the perfect landing.
Unfortunately, nobody knows
| what they are." - (mike).
| for Email, make the obvious change in the address.

[B A R R Y[_2_]]

Jim Macklin wrote:
> Never say, "Fasten your seat belts, we're going down."
> Better say, "Fasten your seatbelt, I'm getting ready to
> land." even if you're going down.

An FBO employee made my wife (a nervous airline flyer) turn ghost white
by saying: "A busy day gets worse when one of your planes goes down."
He was referring to a rental C152 with an alternator squawk "going down"
for maintenance. <G>

[Brian[_1_]]

> An FBO employee made my wife (a nervous airline flyer) turn ghost white
> by saying: "A busy day gets worse when one of your planes goes down."
> He was referring to a rental C152 with an alternator squawk "going down"
> for maintenance. <G>

Like I pilot friend of mine told me he was coming in to land and
misjudged the approach and came in way to high. Upon Initiating a go
arround and told his passengers "We're not go make it" Meaning he was
going to have to go around. The passengers took it to mean "We are'nt
going to make it"

[Montblack]

("Mxsmanic" wrote)
>> Flying is a serious matter. Showing off and clowning are not appropriate
>> in the air.
>
> Agreed. It's a bit like a doctor making jokes to a patient about whether
> or not he'll survive an upcoming operation.


THAT WOULD NOT BE FUNNY!!!

(...well, a little funny)


Mont-little-black-bag

[Jim Macklin]

yep, that would do it.


"B A R R Y" > wrote in message
. com...
| Jim Macklin wrote:
| > Never say, "Fasten your seat belts, we're going down."
| > Better say, "Fasten your seatbelt, I'm getting ready to
| > land." even if you're going down.
|
| An FBO employee made my wife (a nervous airline flyer)
turn ghost white
| by saying: "A busy day gets worse when one of your planes
goes down."
| He was referring to a rental C152 with an alternator
squawk "going down"
| for maintenance. <G>

[Jay Beckman]

"Montblack" > wrote in message
...
> ("Mxsmanic" wrote)
>>> Flying is a serious matter. Showing off and clowning are not
>>> appropriate in the air.
>>
>> Agreed. It's a bit like a doctor making jokes to a patient about whether
>> or not he'll survive an upcoming operation.
>
>
> THAT WOULD NOT BE FUNNY!!!
>
> (...well, a little funny)
>
>
> Mont-little-black-bag

Wasn't it Bill Cosby who did the routine about just going under the
anasthetic (sp?) when the surgeon says "Ooops..." ???

"What do you mean, oops? I know what I mean when I say oops, but what the
hell do you mean when YOU say ooops??"

Jay B

[Gig 601XL Builder]

"Montblack" > wrote in message
...
> ("Mxsmanic" wrote)

>> Agreed. It's a bit like a doctor making jokes to a patient about whether
>> or not he'll survive an upcoming operation.
>
>
> THAT WOULD NOT BE FUNNY!!!
>
> (...well, a little funny)
>

Hell, they've made a TV show about just that. "House"

[[email protected]]

When flying inter-island (over the vast 75 mile gap between O'ahu and
Kaua'i) in the Cardinal I'll occaisionally pretend to lose my way when
it's a passenger I know well... causing them to start suggesting
alternate directions, which are always wrong.

Another one is that approaching any island when the relative humidity
is above 50% you see massive cloud buildups over the mountains (fair
weather cumulous, but with tops at about 9-11K), since the humidity is
so high a light haze will obscure the actual island and I'll gently
lead my passenger to believe that we need to fly through the massive
thunderstorm ahead of us.

[mike regish]

After I got checked out in a Katana, I got my own POH. It came in a ring
binder with a pocket on the spine. I printed up a slip of paper to fit it
that said "How to Fly." I made sure it was facing the back on the glare
shield.

mike

"Doug" > wrote in message
oups.com...
> It's not JUST safety. The joke may be perfectly safe. But small
> aircraft ARE dangerous and it's normal to worry somewhat about one's
> safety while aboard. I always felt it was my job as captain to make my
> passengers feel MORE safe, not less safe. Sure, ANYONE can scare a
> passenger. Frankly if someone pulled one of these stunts on me, I'd
> probably desert him as a friend and associate. These stunts have no
> place in an airplane. Get your kicks some other way.
>

[mike regish]

I think that was a dentist-not a surgeon.

mike

"Jay Beckman" > wrote in message
...
>
> Wasn't it Bill Cosby who did the routine about just going under the
> anasthetic (sp?) when the surgeon says "Ooops..." ???
>
> "What do you mean, oops? I know what I mean when I say oops, but what the
> hell do you mean when YOU say ooops??"
>
> Jay B
>

[Larry Dighera]

On 27 Nov 2006 06:04:37 -0800, "Doug" >
wrote in . com>:

>I always felt it was my job as captain to make my
>passengers feel MORE safe, not less safe.

That's probably because you're a mature, responsible, adult, not an
immature jerk.

[Alan Gerber]

Jay Beckman > wrote:
> Wasn't it Bill Cosby who did the routine about just going under the
> anasthetic (sp?) when the surgeon says "Ooops..." ???

> "What do you mean, oops? I know what I mean when I say oops, but what the
> hell do you mean when YOU say ooops??"

My CFI was very clear on the idea that I should *never* say "oops" when
I'm carrying passengers. Ever.

.... Alan

--
Alan Gerber
PP-ASEL
gerber AT panix DOT com

[Alan Gerber]

Brian > wrote:
> Like I pilot friend of mine told me he was coming in to land and
> misjudged the approach and came in way to high. Upon Initiating a go
> arround and told his passengers "We're not go make it" Meaning he was
> going to have to go around. The passengers took it to mean "We are'nt
> going to make it"

That seems like a reasonable interpretation to me.

.... Alan

--
Alan Gerber
PP-ASEL
gerber AT panix DOT com

[Judah]

Alan Gerber > wrote in
:

> Jay Beckman > wrote:
>> Wasn't it Bill Cosby who did the routine about just going under the
>> anasthetic (sp?) when the surgeon says "Ooops..." ???
>
>> "What do you mean, oops? I know what I mean when I say oops, but what
>> the hell do you mean when YOU say ooops??"
>
> My CFI was very clear on the idea that I should *never* say "oops" when
> I'm carrying passengers. Ever.
>
> ... Alan

OK. That reminds me of a pilot story...

I had two passengers from Atlantic City in an Arrow II. We were returning
at night from a trip to Harrisburgh (KMDT) (Hershey, actually). It was
about 10pm or so...

We were heading to Bader (AIY). We had been at 5000', and coming up on the
field (KACY off to the left) I began a descent. After about 500', I decided
to pull out a couple of inches of Manifold Pressure to keep it below 24"
RPM.

As soon as I touched the throttle, the tach went redline on the RPM, the
engine revved like I was taking off. This was my first experience of this
type, so I was taken a bit by surprise. Before I realized the words had
come out of my mouth, I said ---

"Oh, SH-T!!"

Immediately, both passengers grabbed onto the doorhandles for dear life.

For the moment, appeasing my passengers was low priority. I reduce the
throttle to about half, and was able to get a reasonable prop response. I
then called ATC (I was still on with Atlantic City Approach) and indicated
that I had an onboard emergency, and would like to land on their runway 13,
just off to my left, instead of proceeding to Bader. They cleared me to
land and asked me the nature of the emergency.

By this time, I had noticed that the oil pressure was low, and so I told
them that I had the plane in a stable descent, had a low oil pressure
indication, and should be OK to make an easy landing on their Rwy 13.

He asks me, "Do you want me to roll the equipment?"

I say, "No, we've got it under control."

He says, "We're gonna roll the equipment anyway. They could use the
practice, and are probably bored anyway."

Sure enough, two fire trucks, a few ambulances, and a couple of police cars
followed me after an otherwise uneventful landing (actually, quite a
greaser!) down the runway and taxiway to the FBO. The engine actually
responded fairly well until we stopped the plane. Evidently, a seal had
leaked in one of the gaskets and I was left with about 3 quarts.

I'm not a mechanic, but as it was explained to me that when I adjusted the
throttle, after pretty much staying in the same spot for 90 minutes or so
enroute, the oil in the prop governer went back into the engine, and the
result was that there was not enough oil left in the prop governer to
govern the prop properly. (Say that 10 times fast!)

Incidentally, one of the two passengers has flown with me since, and the
other one hasn't, but did say he would fly with me again if the opportunity
presented itself...


It didn't take long for this story to be spread among everybody in our
industry. But somehow, no one really talks about how nice the greaser was,
or how I took command of the situation and landed us safely.

Nope, they mostly talk about my most memorable reaction to the problem in
the plane...

"Oh SH-T!!"

[B A R R Y[_2_]]

mike regish wrote:
> After I got checked out in a Katana, I got my own POH. It came in a ring
> binder with a pocket on the spine. I printed up a slip of paper to fit it
> that said "How to Fly." I made sure it was facing the back on the glare
> shield.

Beautiful... <G>

[Jim Macklin]

THE first indication of an oil problem is a run-away prop on
a single-engine with a typical constant speed prop. The
prop governor is just a high pressure oil pump and control
valve that must be supplied with engine oil under pressure
and with adequate volume. If the engine oil galleries and
lines are not full of oil, the governor will not work. On a
multiengine airplane, the prop will feather.
The prop, on a single, becomes fixed pitch and the throttle
controls rpm just like it was a solid fixed pitch. The
engine will run just fine as long as it has oil, but a
ruptured line or gasket will dump the oil and you don't know
exactly what is happening, so land ASAP.

Another story... When I was a student pilot, the FBO also
did completions on "green" MU2s that were very nice. They
had one that was being done for some Arab oil baron, with
solid gold fixtures, rare wood trim and the cost was over
$500,000 when a King Air was about $400,000 [long time ago].
The plane was finished and the company test pilot took it
out for a final acceptance test flight. Shortly after
take-off the pilot called the tower to report a problem and
get a quick landing, he did not use the word, emergency. He
was calm and spoke using his best "airline pilot voice."
The tower cleared him to land on any runway and asked him to
repeat his message. They asked him again. After the
uneventful landing the tower asked him to come up to the
tower.

The tape went like this... "Capitol tower, Mitsubishi 12345
has some cock in the smoke pit." This was repeated several
times, word for word, with out having any screaming, voice
inflections or emotions.



"Judah" > wrote in message
.. .
| Alan Gerber > wrote in
| :
|
| > Jay Beckman > wrote:
| >> Wasn't it Bill Cosby who did the routine about just
going under the
| >> anasthetic (sp?) when the surgeon says "Ooops..." ???
| >
| >> "What do you mean, oops? I know what I mean when I say
oops, but what
| >> the hell do you mean when YOU say ooops??"
| >
| > My CFI was very clear on the idea that I should *never*
say "oops" when
| > I'm carrying passengers. Ever.
| >
| > ... Alan
|
| OK. That reminds me of a pilot story...
|
| I had two passengers from Atlantic City in an Arrow II. We
were returning
| at night from a trip to Harrisburgh (KMDT) (Hershey,
actually). It was
| about 10pm or so...
|
| We were heading to Bader (AIY). We had been at 5000', and
coming up on the
| field (KACY off to the left) I began a descent. After
about 500', I decided
| to pull out a couple of inches of Manifold Pressure to
keep it below 24"
| RPM.
|
| As soon as I touched the throttle, the tach went redline
on the RPM, the
| engine revved like I was taking off. This was my first
experience of this
| type, so I was taken a bit by surprise. Before I realized
the words had
| come out of my mouth, I said ---
|
| "Oh, SH-T!!"
|
| Immediately, both passengers grabbed onto the doorhandles
for dear life.
|
| For the moment, appeasing my passengers was low priority.
I reduce the
| throttle to about half, and was able to get a reasonable
prop response. I
| then called ATC (I was still on with Atlantic City
Approach) and indicated
| that I had an onboard emergency, and would like to land on
their runway 13,
| just off to my left, instead of proceeding to Bader. They
cleared me to
| land and asked me the nature of the emergency.
|
| By this time, I had noticed that the oil pressure was low,
and so I told
| them that I had the plane in a stable descent, had a low
oil pressure
| indication, and should be OK to make an easy landing on
their Rwy 13.
|
| He asks me, "Do you want me to roll the equipment?"
|
| I say, "No, we've got it under control."
|
| He says, "We're gonna roll the equipment anyway. They
could use the
| practice, and are probably bored anyway."
|
| Sure enough, two fire trucks, a few ambulances, and a
couple of police cars
| followed me after an otherwise uneventful landing
(actually, quite a
| greaser!) down the runway and taxiway to the FBO. The
engine actually
| responded fairly well until we stopped the plane.
Evidently, a seal had
| leaked in one of the gaskets and I was left with about 3
quarts.
|
| I'm not a mechanic, but as it was explained to me that
when I adjusted the
| throttle, after pretty much staying in the same spot for
90 minutes or so
| enroute, the oil in the prop governer went back into the
engine, and the
| result was that there was not enough oil left in the prop
governer to
| govern the prop properly. (Say that 10 times fast!)
|
| Incidentally, one of the two passengers has flown with me
since, and the
| other one hasn't, but did say he would fly with me again
if the opportunity
| presented itself...
|
|
| It didn't take long for this story to be spread among
everybody in our
| industry. But somehow, no one really talks about how nice
the greaser was,
| or how I took command of the situation and landed us
safely.
|
| Nope, they mostly talk about my most memorable reaction to
the problem in
| the plane...
|
| "Oh SH-T!!"
|

[Jim Macklin]

How to Fly in Three Easy Lessons
or
The Little Airplane That Could.




"B A R R Y" > wrote in message
. com...
| mike regish wrote:
| > After I got checked out in a Katana, I got my own POH.
It came in a ring
| > binder with a pocket on the spine. I printed up a slip
of paper to fit it
| > that said "How to Fly." I made sure it was facing the
back on the glare
| > shield.
|
| Beautiful... <G>

[Judah]

"Jim Macklin" > wrote in news:JnXah.1960
:

> THE first indication of an oil problem is a run-away prop on
> a single-engine with a typical constant speed prop. The
> prop governor is just a high pressure oil pump and control
> valve that must be supplied with engine oil under pressure
> and with adequate volume. If the engine oil galleries and
> lines are not full of oil, the governor will not work. On a
> multiengine airplane, the prop will feather.
> The prop, on a single, becomes fixed pitch and the throttle
> controls rpm just like it was a solid fixed pitch. The
> engine will run just fine as long as it has oil, but a
> ruptured line or gasket will dump the oil and you don't know
> exactly what is happening, so land ASAP.

Yeah - the way it was explained to me was that springs push the prop to full,
and oil pushes the prop back to govern the RPMs. But as you say, once I know
the oil pressure is low, it's time to pull over and get it checked out..

> The tape went like this... "Capitol tower, Mitsubishi 12345
> has some cock in the smoke pit." This was repeated several
> times, word for word, with out having any screaming, voice
> inflections or emotions.

THAT is funny!

[Mxsmanic]

Judah writes:

> Nope, they mostly talk about my most memorable reaction to the problem in
> the plane...
>
> "Oh SH-T!!"

Those are the final words on most CVRs, too.

--
Transpose mxsmanic and gmail to reach me by e-mail.

[Peter Dohm]

> THE first indication of an oil problem is a run-away prop on
> a single-engine with a typical constant speed prop. The
> prop governor is just a high pressure oil pump and control
> valve that must be supplied with engine oil under pressure
> and with adequate volume. If the engine oil galleries and
> lines are not full of oil, the governor will not work. On a
> multiengine airplane, the prop will feather.
> The prop, on a single, becomes fixed pitch and the throttle
> controls rpm just like it was a solid fixed pitch. The
> engine will run just fine as long as it has oil, but a
> ruptured line or gasket will dump the oil and you don't know
> exactly what is happening, so land ASAP.
>
-----much snipped for brevity---------

Most, but certainly not all, hydraulically controlled constant speed props
will fail to their finest pitch position if oil pressure is lost. There
have been exceptions--there was a high performance kit plane (I forgot the
name) which had the prop spring loaded the other way, such that any governor
failure would leave the porp in coarse pitch.

I have no idea how any of the auto feathering props on turbo-prop engines
really work, and therefore I don't know whether they would require oil
pressure to feather. However, I have not personally heard of any feathering
prop on any reciprocating engine which does not require oil pressure to
feather.

Peter

[Peter Dohm]

> How to Fly in Three Easy Lessons

A story used to circulate about an airline flight crew who had a little
routine based on a book with a similar title. As the story went: The
copilot would enter the aircraft from the rear door and then slowly make his
way forward--obviously cramming from the book that he was reading. Of
course, he would take his seat and the flight would depart without anything
ever being said.

Although the story was told to me as being on a Boeing 727, I suspect that
it was really a DC-3 story that just wouldn't die.

Peter