Michael Baldwin, Bruce
December 17th 06, 09:14 AM
The sick and twisted Robert Buchanan wrote:
> My next guest is a very unique entertainer...let's all give a warm
> welcome to Some Guy!
>
> > The Front Street Gym wrote:
> >> Ladies and Gentlemen (and I use those words loosely), The Bipolar
> >> Express said in ne.weather:
> >>>
> >>> A door-to-door salesman has had a really rough day and decided to try
> >>> one more house before heading home. He knocks on the door, determined
> >>> to make a sale. Joseph Bartlo opens the door, and the salesman starts
> >>> in with his sales pitch. Bartlo stood there speechless, and the
> >>> salesman, seeing that he wasn't getting anywhere, asked Bartlo where
> >>> his mother was. Bartlo didn't say a word and just pointed upstairs.
> >>> The salesman goes up the stairs, opens the bedroom door and finds the
> >>> Connie in bed with a goat!! Completely flabbergasted, the salesman
> >>> slams the door shut and flies down the stairs. He grabs Bartlo by the
> >>> shoulders and yells, "Do you know what's in bed with your mother? Do
> >>> you know what they're doing? Doesn't this bother you?" To which
> Bartlo
> >>> responded, "Na-a-a-a-a-a-a."
> >>
> >> A reporter from the apparently now defunct Bartlo Information Ministry
> >> goes to the Bartlo farm looking to do an interview with the great
> snow
> >> shovelling forecaster himself.
> >>
> >> Well, the reporter walks through the farm, past Connie's single-wide
> >> whore and crack mobile home to the barn where he finds the infamous
> >> Joseph Bartlo kneeling behind a goat, holding the goat's tail up with
> >> one hand and planting a firm kiss right on the goat's asshole.
> >>
> >> The reporter says to the nefarious Joseph Bartlo: "Man, are you sick
> oe
> >> WHAT???" To which the Coward of the Poconos replies, "No! My lips are
> >> chapped and this keeps me from biting them, you liar and pest!"
> >>
> >> ts--Fg
> >
> > Joseph Bartlo was digging around in the dump for half-smoked cigarette
> > butts when a little man dressed in green ambled up to him and said,
> > "Well, me boyo, you've found me hideout. Begorrah, but I've got to
> give
> > you a wish now."
> >
> > "I want a car," said Bartlo. "I hate that my enemies conspired against
> > me and stole my license because they're jealous of my skill at
> > forecasting and Yatzy."
> >
> > "Sure enough, it's that I can do all right," said the little man. He
> > grimaced and muttered, then said, "Ah, and the Sidhe have parked it in
> > your driveway back home. But Joseph me lad, however will you drive the
> > thing without a license?"
> >
> > Bartlo furrowed his shaggy, Sasquatchian brows, then said "You're
> right.
> > I want you to give me a new license, too."
> >
> > "Well," said the little man, "ye've had yer wish already, bucko, but I
> > tell yez what--I'll give you that too, only you've got to do something
> > fer me first."
> >
> > "What's that?" asked Bartlo.
> >
> > "Does yer Honor see that goat afar off there? Well, ye've got to go
> and
> > roger her roundly, for then I can get ye yer license."
> >
> > "Wow, I thought it was going to be something difficult or unpleasant!"
> > shouted Bartlo. "Let me at her!"
> >
> > So Bartlo commenced action, and soon was busy enjoying his efforts
> until
> > he reached the climax he so longed for. Then he was laughing and
> > gesturing at the clouds as if he were Zeus himself.
> >
> > Finally, the little man said "Ah, Joseph, the very angels have blessed
> > ye with a driver's license. It's in the car in your driveway back
> home.
> > But how will you buy gas, Joseph? Ye have nary a sou to yer name."
> >
> > "Well, you can just give me some money, pest, can't you?" asked Joseph?
> >
> > "Oh, I'm made of fairy gold arighty, but ye've got to do something else
> > for me in return. You are going to have to kiss my blarney stones--in
> > fact, you're going to have to touch them to your tonsils, along with my
> > gnarled shillelagh." And here the little man dropped his trousers,
> > revealing a mighty set of genitalia.
> >
> > "I don't do anything until I get paid, but OK," said Bartlo. He
> dropped
> > to his knees and began to work enthusiastically. Finally, with great
> > effort, he had just achieved that goal of getting all three in, when
> the
> > little man said, "By the way, Joseph, aren't ye a little old to be
> > believing in leprechauns?"
>
> Joseph Bartlo was in the midst of ****ing a goat in a barn when the goat
> suddenly turned and bit his penis off. The goat then ran off as Bartlo
> fell to the ground and bled to death.
>
> The End
You've got some really strange sexual fantasies, Buchanan. Besides, the
goat bit off Kukucka's black mamba.
> My next guest is a very unique entertainer...let's all give a warm
> welcome to Some Guy!
>
> > The Front Street Gym wrote:
> >> Ladies and Gentlemen (and I use those words loosely), The Bipolar
> >> Express said in ne.weather:
> >>>
> >>> A door-to-door salesman has had a really rough day and decided to try
> >>> one more house before heading home. He knocks on the door, determined
> >>> to make a sale. Joseph Bartlo opens the door, and the salesman starts
> >>> in with his sales pitch. Bartlo stood there speechless, and the
> >>> salesman, seeing that he wasn't getting anywhere, asked Bartlo where
> >>> his mother was. Bartlo didn't say a word and just pointed upstairs.
> >>> The salesman goes up the stairs, opens the bedroom door and finds the
> >>> Connie in bed with a goat!! Completely flabbergasted, the salesman
> >>> slams the door shut and flies down the stairs. He grabs Bartlo by the
> >>> shoulders and yells, "Do you know what's in bed with your mother? Do
> >>> you know what they're doing? Doesn't this bother you?" To which
> Bartlo
> >>> responded, "Na-a-a-a-a-a-a."
> >>
> >> A reporter from the apparently now defunct Bartlo Information Ministry
> >> goes to the Bartlo farm looking to do an interview with the great
> snow
> >> shovelling forecaster himself.
> >>
> >> Well, the reporter walks through the farm, past Connie's single-wide
> >> whore and crack mobile home to the barn where he finds the infamous
> >> Joseph Bartlo kneeling behind a goat, holding the goat's tail up with
> >> one hand and planting a firm kiss right on the goat's asshole.
> >>
> >> The reporter says to the nefarious Joseph Bartlo: "Man, are you sick
> oe
> >> WHAT???" To which the Coward of the Poconos replies, "No! My lips are
> >> chapped and this keeps me from biting them, you liar and pest!"
> >>
> >> ts--Fg
> >
> > Joseph Bartlo was digging around in the dump for half-smoked cigarette
> > butts when a little man dressed in green ambled up to him and said,
> > "Well, me boyo, you've found me hideout. Begorrah, but I've got to
> give
> > you a wish now."
> >
> > "I want a car," said Bartlo. "I hate that my enemies conspired against
> > me and stole my license because they're jealous of my skill at
> > forecasting and Yatzy."
> >
> > "Sure enough, it's that I can do all right," said the little man. He
> > grimaced and muttered, then said, "Ah, and the Sidhe have parked it in
> > your driveway back home. But Joseph me lad, however will you drive the
> > thing without a license?"
> >
> > Bartlo furrowed his shaggy, Sasquatchian brows, then said "You're
> right.
> > I want you to give me a new license, too."
> >
> > "Well," said the little man, "ye've had yer wish already, bucko, but I
> > tell yez what--I'll give you that too, only you've got to do something
> > fer me first."
> >
> > "What's that?" asked Bartlo.
> >
> > "Does yer Honor see that goat afar off there? Well, ye've got to go
> and
> > roger her roundly, for then I can get ye yer license."
> >
> > "Wow, I thought it was going to be something difficult or unpleasant!"
> > shouted Bartlo. "Let me at her!"
> >
> > So Bartlo commenced action, and soon was busy enjoying his efforts
> until
> > he reached the climax he so longed for. Then he was laughing and
> > gesturing at the clouds as if he were Zeus himself.
> >
> > Finally, the little man said "Ah, Joseph, the very angels have blessed
> > ye with a driver's license. It's in the car in your driveway back
> home.
> > But how will you buy gas, Joseph? Ye have nary a sou to yer name."
> >
> > "Well, you can just give me some money, pest, can't you?" asked Joseph?
> >
> > "Oh, I'm made of fairy gold arighty, but ye've got to do something else
> > for me in return. You are going to have to kiss my blarney stones--in
> > fact, you're going to have to touch them to your tonsils, along with my
> > gnarled shillelagh." And here the little man dropped his trousers,
> > revealing a mighty set of genitalia.
> >
> > "I don't do anything until I get paid, but OK," said Bartlo. He
> dropped
> > to his knees and began to work enthusiastically. Finally, with great
> > effort, he had just achieved that goal of getting all three in, when
> the
> > little man said, "By the way, Joseph, aren't ye a little old to be
> > believing in leprechauns?"
>
> Joseph Bartlo was in the midst of ****ing a goat in a barn when the goat
> suddenly turned and bit his penis off. The goat then ran off as Bartlo
> fell to the ground and bled to death.
>
> The End
You've got some really strange sexual fantasies, Buchanan. Besides, the
goat bit off Kukucka's black mamba.