Farting Passenger Forces Plane to Divert Route (Text only)

[Blue Oval/Dan Edwards]

NASHVILLE, Tenn.(AP) It is considered polite to light a match after passing
gas. Not while on a plane.

An American Airlines flight was forced to make an emergency landing Monday
morning after a passenger lit a match to disguise the scent of flatulence,
authorities said.

The Dallas-bound flight was diverted to Nashville after several passengers
reported smelling burning sulfur from the matches, said Lynne Lowrance,
spokeswoman for the Nashville International Airport Authority. All 99
passengers and five crew members were taken off and screened while the plane
was searched and luggage was screened.

The FBI questioned a passenger who admitted she struck the matches in an
attempt to conceal a "body odor," Lowrance said. She had an unspecified
medical condition, authorities said.

"It's humorous in a way but you feel sorry for the individual, as well," she
said. "It's unusual that someone would go to those measures to cover it up."

The flight took off again, but the woman was not allowed back on the plane.
The woman, who was not identified, was not charged in the incident.

[Dave Kearton]

Blue Oval/Dan Edwards wrote:
> NASHVILLE, Tenn.(AP) It is considered polite to light a match after
> passing gas. Not while on a plane.
>
> An American Airlines flight was forced to make an emergency landing
> Monday morning after a passenger lit a match to disguise the scent of
> flatulence, authorities said.
>
> The Dallas-bound flight was diverted to Nashville after several
> passengers reported smelling burning sulfur from the matches, said
> Lynne Lowrance, spokeswoman for the Nashville International Airport
> Authority. All 99 passengers and five crew members were taken off and
> screened while the plane was searched and luggage was screened.
>
> The FBI questioned a passenger who admitted she struck the matches in
> an attempt to conceal a "body odor," Lowrance said. She had an
> unspecified medical condition, authorities said.
>
> "It's humorous in a way but you feel sorry for the individual, as
> well," she said. "It's unusual that someone would go to those
> measures to cover it up."
>
> The flight took off again, but the woman was not allowed back on the
> plane. The woman, who was not identified, was not charged in the
> incident.





It could have been worse, she could have been searched by Homeland
Security officers, who were looking for a bugle.



Jeebus, give the girl a break, when I fart on a plane the other passengers
try to open the windows.


--

Cheers

Dave Kearton

[CWO4 Dave Mann]

Dave Kearton wrote:
> Blue Oval/Dan Edwards wrote:
>> NASHVILLE, Tenn.(AP) It is considered polite to light a match after
>> passing gas. Not while on a plane.
>>
>> An American Airlines flight was forced to make an emergency landing
>> Monday morning after a passenger lit a match to disguise the scent
>> of flatulence, authorities said.
>>
>> The Dallas-bound flight was diverted to Nashville after several
>> passengers reported smelling burning sulfur from the matches, said
>> Lynne Lowrance, spokeswoman for the Nashville International Airport
>> Authority. All 99 passengers and five crew members were taken off
>> and screened while the plane was searched and luggage was screened.
>>
>>
>> The FBI questioned a passenger who admitted she struck the matches
>> in an attempt to conceal a "body odor," Lowrance said. She had an
>> unspecified medical condition, authorities said.
>>
>> "It's humorous in a way but you feel sorry for the individual, as
>> well," she said. "It's unusual that someone would go to those
>> measures to cover it up."
>>
>> The flight took off again, but the woman was not allowed back on
>> the plane. The woman, who was not identified, was not charged in
>> the incident.
>
>
>
>
>
> It could have been worse, she could have been searched by Homeland
> Security officers, who were looking for a bugle.
>
>
>
> Jeebus, give the girl a break, when I fart on a plane the other
> passengers try to open the windows.
>
>


Heh heh, poor lady ... but on the other hand, the reporting passengers
did the right thing. Reporting strange odors, particularly burning
sulfur, is a good idea.

Now what to do about those folks who travel and have not bathed in
several days, do not use deodorant and emit a ghastly smell similar to
that of rotted Limburger cheese?

I used to travel every week in my last couple of years in the Army. One
time I sat next to a guy on an Eastern flight from National Airport to
Miami and then on to Panama. He actually apologized for his terrible
body odor when we sat down, and explained that he had a medical
condition which caused his -- are you ready for this -- smegma to have a
foul odor.

Every time I spread some ancient Gorgonzola cheese onto crackers I have
to repress the memory of that day.

And I like the "when I fart on a plane the other passengers try to open
the windows." comment. And I thought I was the only one that happened to!

Fragrantly,

Dave

[Paul Elliot]

CWO4 Dave Mann wrote:
> Dave Kearton wrote:
>
>> Blue Oval/Dan Edwards wrote:
>>
>>> NASHVILLE, Tenn.(AP) It is considered polite to light a match after
>>> passing gas. Not while on a plane.
>>>
>>> An American Airlines flight was forced to make an emergency landing
>>> Monday morning after a passenger lit a match to disguise the scent
>>> of flatulence, authorities said.
>>>
>>> The Dallas-bound flight was diverted to Nashville after several
>>> passengers reported smelling burning sulfur from the matches, said
>>> Lynne Lowrance, spokeswoman for the Nashville International Airport
>>> Authority. All 99 passengers and five crew members were taken off
>>> and screened while the plane was searched and luggage was screened.
>>>
>>>
>>> The FBI questioned a passenger who admitted she struck the matches
>>> in an attempt to conceal a "body odor," Lowrance said. She had an
>>> unspecified medical condition, authorities said.
>>>
>>> "It's humorous in a way but you feel sorry for the individual, as
>>> well," she said. "It's unusual that someone would go to those
>>> measures to cover it up."
>>>
>>> The flight took off again, but the woman was not allowed back on
>>> the plane. The woman, who was not identified, was not charged in
>>> the incident.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> It could have been worse, she could have been searched by Homeland
>> Security officers, who were looking for a bugle.
>>
>>
>>
>> Jeebus, give the girl a break, when I fart on a plane the other
>> passengers try to open the windows.
>>
>>
>
>
> Heh heh, poor lady ... but on the other hand, the reporting passengers
> did the right thing. Reporting strange odors, particularly burning
> sulfur, is a good idea.
>
> Now what to do about those folks who travel and have not bathed in
> several days, do not use deodorant and emit a ghastly smell similar to
> that of rotted Limburger cheese?
>
> I used to travel every week in my last couple of years in the Army. One
> time I sat next to a guy on an Eastern flight from National Airport to
> Miami and then on to Panama. He actually apologized for his terrible
> body odor when we sat down, and explained that he had a medical
> condition which caused his -- are you ready for this -- smegma to have a
> foul odor.
>
> Every time I spread some ancient Gorgonzola cheese onto crackers I have
> to repress the memory of that day.
>
> And I like the "when I fart on a plane the other passengers try to open
> the windows." comment. And I thought I was the only one that happened to!
>
> Fragrantly,
>
> Dave
>
LOLROTFLMAO!!!!
My day now has a better start!
Thanks!

--
PC Paul
89 PC800
77 R100RS

Trip pics at: http://new.photos.yahoo.com/paul1cart/albums/

"To educate a man in mind and not in morals is to educate a menace to
society" - Theodore Roosevelt

[Alan Erskine]

"Blue Oval/Dan Edwards" > wrote in message
...
>
> NASHVILLE, Tenn.(AP) It is considered polite to light a match after
passing
> gas. Not while on a plane.

What bugs me about this story is that the woman was not allowed back on the
plane - she wasn't charged with anything afterall.


--
Alan Erskine

[Paul Elliot]

Alan Erskine wrote:
> "Blue Oval/Dan Edwards" > wrote in message
> ...
>
>>NASHVILLE, Tenn.(AP) It is considered polite to light a match after
>
> passing
>
>>gas. Not while on a plane.
>
>
> What bugs me about this story is that the woman was not allowed back on the
> plane - she wasn't charged with anything afterall.
>
>
> --
> Alan Erskine
>
>
>

If she was still emitting, I would hesitate to sit near her...

--
PC Paul
89 PC800
77 R100RS

Trip pics at: http://new.photos.yahoo.com/paul1cart/albums/

"To educate a man in mind and not in morals is to educate a menace to
society" - Theodore Roosevelt

[alf blume]

(Text only)



Thank you for that - no attachement of a smelly sample ;-)

[Alan[_1_]]

"Alan Erskine" > wrote in message
...
> "Blue Oval/Dan Edwards" > wrote in message
> ...
> >
> > NASHVILLE, Tenn.(AP) It is considered polite to light a match after
> passing
> > gas. Not while on a plane.
>
> What bugs me about this story is that the woman was not allowed back on
the
> plane - she wasn't charged with anything afterall.
>
>
> --
> Alan Erskine
>
>
Just another hamfisted way of making a good example of an individual's error
in judgement.
Actually she should have thought better.
Whatever... I am curoius to know what she had to go thru to finally get to
her destination and at what cost. To get booted off a plane at an
unscheduled detination and left behind has to be inconvenient to say the
least.

[CWO4 Dave Mann]

Alan wrote:
> "Alan Erskine" > wrote in message
> ...
>> "Blue Oval/Dan Edwards" > wrote in
>> message ...
>>> NASHVILLE, Tenn.(AP) It is considered polite to light a match
>>> after
>> passing
>>> gas. Not while on a plane.
>> What bugs me about this story is that the woman was not allowed
>> back on
> the
>> plane - she wasn't charged with anything afterall.
>>
>>
>> -- Alan Erskine
>>
> Just another hamfisted way of making a good example of an
> individual's error in judgement. Actually she should have thought
> better. Whatever... I am curoius to know what she had to go thru to
> finally get to her destination and at what cost. To get booted off a
> plane at an unscheduled detination and left behind has to be
> inconvenient to say the least.
>
>



The local media here in the Nashville area didn't say much except that
she was "barred from flying". Depending upon where was going, she may
have had to take the Greyhound Bus.

Personally, I think the whole situation stinks.

Cheers,

Dave

[Dave Kearton]

CWO4 Dave Mann wrote:

>
> Personally, I think the whole situation stinks.
>
> Cheers,
>
> Dave



Certainly is a nasty report.




--

Cheers

Dave Kearton

[CWO4 Dave Mann]

Dave Kearton wrote:
> CWO4 Dave Mann wrote:
>
>> Personally, I think the whole situation stinks.
>>
>> Cheers,
>>
>> Dave
>
>
>
> Certainly is a nasty report.
>
>
>
>

I was thinking the same thing; and possibly a sticky wicket for the poor
woman.

[Dave Kearton]

CWO4 Dave Mann wrote:
> Dave Kearton wrote:
>> CWO4 Dave Mann wrote:
>>
>>> Personally, I think the whole situation stinks.
>>>
>>> Cheers,
>>>
>>> Dave
>>
>>
>>
>> Certainly is a nasty report.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>
> I was thinking the same thing; and possibly a sticky wicket for the
> poor woman.



Oh, an 'own goal' - perhaps that's why she wasn't allowed back on.



--

Cheers

Dave Kearton

[§qu@r3 Wh33£s]

On this day of this month, in a year likely to be unrecorded in human
history, Dave Kearton wrote:

> Certainly is a nasty report.

Yep.

Ka-bloooooOOOOOOMMMM !!!!



--
"Jeeps can get up, and jeeps can also go down. Why can't Bill?"

-- Nancy Hughes III

[CWO4 Dave Mann]

Here is a report which I filed last year which casts some light upon the
nether regions and flatulence.

‎I thought I would give you a complete Colonoscopy Report. I had a regular
‎physical appointment some months back and the Doctor noted I have never had
‎a Colonoscopy. He said at age 61 I ought to have one. Especially
since I have
‎ a documented extensive exposure to Agent Orange over in "veet-nam"

‎I went on a liquid clear diet 48 hours in advance. I called and found out
‎that "carbonated beverages" and Popsicles are OK. Beer is a carbonated
‎beverage, need I say more?

‎I received the instructions and a large gallon jug by mail. The jug was a
‎powder used as a clean-out solution. I started two days ahead of the
‎appointment. The clean-out solution doesn't actually taste like anything
‎-- it is mixed it with water in the jug and then refrigerated. I drank a
‎glass of it every 10 minutes, took a couple slugs of Budweiser and then
‎went to sit on the throne.

‎By the evening prior to the 0930 appointment I was completely cleaned out
‎and nothing but a clear liquid was passed.

‎I arrived at the Nashville VAMC (Veterans Affairs Medical Center) at 0830
‎accompanied by my aide'd'camp, the driver, and the usual security
‎operatives who cleared the parking garage of any alien life forms who may
‎have been lurking to take me back for retraining.

‎The GI clinic waiting area was relatively quiet for the VA, with only three
‎TV sets turned on; one with the Springer Show featuring strange people
‎shouting and hitting, one with some reality show of wheelchair-confined
‎lesbians playing freeway chicken with gay truckers, and the last channel
‎set to the local country music channel where men wearing large hats crooned
‎about lost loves and various injustices suffered at the hands of gals
with big
‎hair-doos. Unlike the VA emergency room, there were no screams of the
injured,
‎no gargling guttural death rattles, no speaking in tongues by
unmedicated bi-polars
‎and skitzos, no leaking colostomy bags with gurney pushers slipping,
sliding and
‎cursing as they glissando through the noisome messes.

‎As a "service connected - combat rated disabled veteran" I get almost free
‎medical care, so I am not complaining.

‎ The appointment was for 0930 and at 0933 a nurse came forth and called
in a stentorian voice:
‎"Mister Mann" -- yikes! my name. She had my aide'd'camp sign and
attest that he would
‎ be attending and remain in the exam waiting area. She then took me to
the exam room.

‎The examining doctor was a Vanderbilt University Medical School
‎professor, who was accompanied by a couple of students from the medical
‎school. The other MD was the chief of the GI department at the VAMC.
‎Pretty high class help for an old broke-down soldier like moi oci.

‎The doctor and nurse came in and bid me to disrobe and put on the usual
‎gown. After I laid on the table the doctor explained who he was, the
‎procedure and that there might be an amnesic effect from the sedative.

‎The nurse placed a large needle into my right armpit, first saying
"this may
‎sting a bit" (it did), and an oxygen cannula mechanism in my nostrils. She
‎explained that anytime a sedative is administered, oxygen is also given.

‎The doctor complimented me on the fact that I had a person very close to me
‎presumably at home write my name and social security number using a
magic marker on my
‎buttocks and a note "Please Be Gentle With Me". They all had a good laugh
‎and said, "well that isn't the first time we've seen that, but it's usually
‎a tattoo". I exclaimed, "... at least you won't find an gerbils up
there".
‎That caused a great conversation amongst the Medical Students about the
‎South Park episode where bowel traveling gerbils were featured.
‎By that time the ever-suffering nurse said, "Now Mister
‎Mann, here comes the sedative" ... I went out like a light -- praying that
‎I wouldn't die on the operating table with eight feet of fiber optics up
‎the old Hershey Highway.

‎The procedure took about 20 minutes according to my staff members remaining
‎in the waiting room. I don't remember putting my clothes back on or the
‎unplanned and unfortunate incident with the large window overlooking the
‎Vanderbilt University Quadrangle's lunch area filled with astonished
students,
‎nor anything actually, until getting into the car and emitting some
explosive
‎and expansive salutations.

‎Somewhat similar in effect to a gigantic "whoopee" cushion designed by the
‎special effects crew of the old "B" movie "Land of the Giants".

‎Recovery has taken about 24 hours. I had a lot of cramping and medium pain
‎due to the fact that they took several biopsies. Flatulence continued for
‎about 12 hours, mostly very noisy but interestingly, without the usual
‎horrific stench which I usually emit.

‎Note for conspiracy theorists: No evidence of any Space Alien Probes
were discovered.

‎If you are over 50 please have your colon examined and don't worry
about the
‎side effects.

‎Cheers,

‎Dave

[Dave Kearton]

CWO4 Dave Mann wrote:
> Here is a report which I filed last year which casts some light upon
> the nether regions and flatulence.
>
> ?The doctor complimented me on the fact that I had a person very
> close to me ?presumably at home write my name and social security
> number using a magic marker on my
> ?buttocks and a note "Please Be Gentle With Me". They all had a good
> laugh ?and said, "well that isn't the first time we've seen that, but
> it's usually ?a tattoo". I exclaimed, "... at least you won't find
> an gerbils up there".



At least that's what you were hoping they wrote ...




>
> ?If you are over 50 please have your colon examined and don't worry
> about the
> ?side effects.
>
> ?Cheers,
>
> ?Dave



Coming up to that milestone soon. At least it sounds a little more
bearable than the Sigmoidoscope (aka the silver stallion) my father had to
endure.






--

Cheers

Dave Kearton

[§qu@r3 Wh33£s]

On this day of this month, in a year likely to be unrecorded in human
history, CWO4 Dave Mann wrote:


> If you are over 50 please have your colon examined and don't worry
> about the
> side effects.
>
> Cheers,
>
> Dave

Beautifully written, Dave, and I'm a professional!

Very, very funny, but yes, folks, do have an exam at least yearly. My best
friend's father did, had cancer, had surgery and chemo and is doing just
fine now, a survivor. In a matter of a few weeks only.

OK, it usually makes guys .. uh .. antsy? .. similar to the Bobbit
Skrunchover .. but just DO IT !!

Sorry they found no probes, BTW -- you could have made a /killing/ on eBay......


SW


--
"Jeeps can get up, and jeeps can also go down. Why can't Bill?"

-- Nancy Hughes III

[Whistlin' Dixie]

On Thu, 07 Dec 2006 03:34:56 GMT, §qu@r3 Wh33£s >
wrote:

>On this day of this month, in a year likely to be unrecorded in human
>history, CWO4 Dave Mann wrote:
>
>
>> If you are over 50 please have your colon examined and don't worry
>> about the
>> side effects.
>>
>> Cheers,
>>
>> Dave
>
>Beautifully written, Dave, and I'm a professional!
>
>Very, very funny, but yes, folks, do have an exam at least yearly. My best
>friend's father did, had cancer, had surgery and chemo and is doing just
>fine now, a survivor. In a matter of a few weeks only.
>
>OK, it usually makes guys .. uh .. antsy? .. similar to the Bobbit
>Skrunchover .. but just DO IT !!
>
>Sorry they found no probes, BTW -- you could have made a /killing/ on eBay......
>
>
>SW


Well, I haven't posted much in this group, but I was just passing
(gas) through and had to comment.

Colonoscopy is recommended every TEN years after 50. It has to do
with how slowly cancers in that area grow. Most insurance companies
aren't going to pay more often than that. As for the procedure, only
the dance with the laxatives the night before is unpleasant. You will
feel absolutely nothing during the procedure (and I felt nothing
after--no gas or anything). When the surgeon said you're clean (I
heard him through that trippy sedated fog) you feel great! No Big C
fer me, thanks!

Sigmoidoscopy is hardly worth it given the much greater coverage of a
colonoscopy. I had exactly one. The device itself is not
painful--you're so greased up they could slide an Airbus 380 in. It's
the damn air they use to keep the colon inflated so that all nooks and
crannies are visible (I watched mine on the monitor). Cramps
almighty--you feel like you could leap tall buildings with the
pressure that builds up. And farting after! You'd think it would all
come out in one long blast, but noooo! You fart and fart for a day
(not smelly since you're cleaned out anyway).

So get your colonoscopies, you big babies over 50! Colon cancer is
one nasty way to die.

Now, a serious question. Airliners are pressurized to about 5000',
right? I wonder if that encourages or discourages farting (the
former, I would think). I know that I have delighted other passengers
on occasion, and wondered where the urge came from. I just hope to be
positioned to spray that annoying little brat seated near me. And his
mother who won't shut him up.

[§qu@r3 Wh33£s]

On this day of this month, in a year likely to be unrecorded in human
history, Whistlin' Dixie wrote:

> Most insurance companies
> aren't going to pay more often than that.

Hadn't even thought about that aspect. I'm a Canuck, and if your Doc
recommends it, it's covered by our Universal Health Care scheme, quite
nice.

But(t) still, folks, get off your ass so you can keep it !!!




--
"Jeeps can get up, and jeeps can also go down. Why can't Bill?"

-- Nancy Hughes III

[Dave Kearton]

§qu@r3 Wh33£s wrote:
> On this day of this month, in a year likely to be unrecorded in human
> history, Whistlin' Dixie wrote:
>
>> Most insurance companies
>> aren't going to pay more often than that.
>
> Hadn't even thought about that aspect. I'm a Canuck, and if your Doc
> recommends it, it's covered by our Universal Health Care scheme, quite
> nice.
>
> But(t) still, folks, get off your ass so you can keep it !!!



I left mine to science, but they rejected it.



Somebody is in for a nasty Christmas present once I go.



--

Cheers

Dave Kearton

[Paul Elliot]

CWO4 Dave Mann wrote:

> Here is a report which I filed last year which casts some light upon the
> nether regions and flatulence.
>
> ‎I thought I would give you a complete Colonoscopy Report. I had a regular
> ‎physical appointment some months back and the Doctor noted I have never
> had
> ‎a Colonoscopy. He said at age 61 I ought to have one. Especially
> since I have
> ‎ a documented extensive exposure to Agent Orange over in "veet-nam"
>
> ‎I went on a liquid clear diet 48 hours in advance. I called and found out
> ‎that "carbonated beverages" and Popsicles are OK. Beer is a carbonated
> ‎beverage, need I say more?
>
> ‎I received the instructions and a large gallon jug by mail. The jug was a
> ‎powder used as a clean-out solution. I started two days ahead of the
> ‎appointment. The clean-out solution doesn't actually taste like anything
> ‎-- it is mixed it with water in the jug and then refrigerated. I drank a
> ‎glass of it every 10 minutes, took a couple slugs of Budweiser and then
> ‎went to sit on the throne.
>
> ‎By the evening prior to the 0930 appointment I was completely cleaned out
> ‎and nothing but a clear liquid was passed.
>
> ‎I arrived at the Nashville VAMC (Veterans Affairs Medical Center) at 0830
> ‎accompanied by my aide'd'camp, the driver, and the usual security
> ‎operatives who cleared the parking garage of any alien life forms who may
> ‎have been lurking to take me back for retraining.
>
> ‎The GI clinic waiting area was relatively quiet for the VA, with only
> three
> ‎TV sets turned on; one with the Springer Show featuring strange people
> ‎shouting and hitting, one with some reality show of wheelchair-confined
> ‎lesbians playing freeway chicken with gay truckers, and the last channel
> ‎set to the local country music channel where men wearing large hats
> crooned
> ‎about lost loves and various injustices suffered at the hands of gals
> with big
> ‎hair-doos. Unlike the VA emergency room, there were no screams of the
> injured,
> ‎no gargling guttural death rattles, no speaking in tongues by
> unmedicated bi-polars
> ‎and skitzos, no leaking colostomy bags with gurney pushers slipping,
> sliding and
> ‎cursing as they glissando through the noisome messes.
>
> ‎As a "service connected - combat rated disabled veteran" I get almost free
> ‎medical care, so I am not complaining.
>
> ‎ The appointment was for 0930 and at 0933 a nurse came forth and called
> in a stentorian voice:
> ‎"Mister Mann" -- yikes! my name. She had my aide'd'camp sign and
> attest that he would
> ‎ be attending and remain in the exam waiting area. She then took me to
> the exam room.
>
> ‎The examining doctor was a Vanderbilt University Medical School
> ‎professor, who was accompanied by a couple of students from the medical
> ‎school. The other MD was the chief of the GI department at the VAMC.
> ‎Pretty high class help for an old broke-down soldier like moi oci.
>
> ‎The doctor and nurse came in and bid me to disrobe and put on the usual
> ‎gown. After I laid on the table the doctor explained who he was, the
> ‎procedure and that there might be an amnesic effect from the sedative.
>
> ‎The nurse placed a large needle into my right armpit, first saying
> "this may
> ‎sting a bit" (it did), and an oxygen cannula mechanism in my nostrils.
> She
> ‎explained that anytime a sedative is administered, oxygen is also given.
>
> ‎The doctor complimented me on the fact that I had a person very close
> to me
> ‎presumably at home write my name and social security number using a
> magic marker on my
> ‎buttocks and a note "Please Be Gentle With Me". They all had a good laugh
> ‎and said, "well that isn't the first time we've seen that, but it's
> usually
> ‎a tattoo". I exclaimed, "... at least you won't find an gerbils up
> there".
> ‎That caused a great conversation amongst the Medical Students about the
> ‎South Park episode where bowel traveling gerbils were featured.
> ‎By that time the ever-suffering nurse said, "Now Mister
> ‎Mann, here comes the sedative" ... I went out like a light -- praying that
> ‎I wouldn't die on the operating table with eight feet of fiber optics up
> ‎the old Hershey Highway.
>
> ‎The procedure took about 20 minutes according to my staff members
> remaining
> ‎in the waiting room. I don't remember putting my clothes back on or the
> ‎unplanned and unfortunate incident with the large window overlooking the
> ‎Vanderbilt University Quadrangle's lunch area filled with astonished
> students,
> ‎nor anything actually, until getting into the car and emitting some
> explosive
> ‎and expansive salutations.
>
> ‎Somewhat similar in effect to a gigantic "whoopee" cushion designed by the
> ‎special effects crew of the old "B" movie "Land of the Giants".
>
> ‎Recovery has taken about 24 hours. I had a lot of cramping and medium
> pain
> ‎due to the fact that they took several biopsies. Flatulence continued for
> ‎about 12 hours, mostly very noisy but interestingly, without the usual
> ‎horrific stench which I usually emit.
>
> ‎Note for conspiracy theorists: No evidence of any Space Alien Probes
> were discovered.
>
> ‎If you are over 50 please have your colon examined and don't worry
> about the
> ‎side effects.
>
> ‎Cheers,
>
> ‎Dave

BTDT, you missed out on the technicolor tour with the video camera.
Since mine was just a sigmoidoscopy, I was awake and got to watch the
movie live. Woo Hoo!

--
PC Paul
89 PC800
77 R100RS

Trip pics at: http://new.photos.yahoo.com/paul1cart/albums/

"To educate a man in mind and not in morals is to educate a menace to
society" - Theodore Roosevelt

[CWO4 Dave Mann]

Paul Elliot wrote:
--Snipped in for the sake of common decency! -

>> ‎Dave
>

> BTDT, you missed out on the technicolor tour with the video camera.
> Since mine was just a sigmoidoscopy, I was awake and got to watch the
> movie live. Woo Hoo!
>

You know what ****ed me off, is that they took all kinds of pictures and
had teh movie camera rolling, but the VA told me they don't have the
facilities to give me a copy of the video. I wanted to put it on youtube.

Oh well, the exam was free, so I ain't complaining.

Cheers,

Dave

[§qu@r3 Wh33£s]

On this day of this month, in a year likely to be unrecorded in human
history, CWO4 Dave Mann wrote:

> I wanted to put it on youtube.

Well, it certainly would have been that -- "Hey, dude, dat'sa you tube
in Technicolor and Panavision!"

Or IMAX !! Just like being there!

--
"Jeeps can get up, and jeeps can also go down. Why can't Bill?"

-- Nancy Hughes III

[Peter Dohm]

> > NASHVILLE, Tenn.(AP) It is considered polite to light a match after
> > passing gas. Not while on a plane.
> >
> > An American Airlines flight was forced to make an emergency landing
> > Monday morning after a passenger lit a match to disguise the scent of
> > flatulence, authorities said.
> >
> > The Dallas-bound flight was diverted to Nashville after several
> > passengers reported smelling burning sulfur from the matches, said
> > Lynne Lowrance, spokeswoman for the Nashville International Airport
> > Authority. All 99 passengers and five crew members were taken off and
> > screened while the plane was searched and luggage was screened.
> >
> > The FBI questioned a passenger who admitted she struck the matches in
> > an attempt to conceal a "body odor," Lowrance said. She had an
> > unspecified medical condition, authorities said.
> >
> > "It's humorous in a way but you feel sorry for the individual, as
> > well," she said. "It's unusual that someone would go to those
> > measures to cover it up."
> >
> > The flight took off again, but the woman was not allowed back on the
> > plane. The woman, who was not identified, was not charged in the
> > incident.
>
>
>
>
>
> It could have been worse, she could have been searched by Homeland
> Security officers, who were looking for a bugle.
>
>
>
> Jeebus, give the girl a break, when I fart on a plane the other
passengers
> try to open the windows.
>
>
> --
The burning sulphur smell is easily explaned--it was a flight from Hell.
;-)

Peter

[Peter Dohm]

> On Thu, 07 Dec 2006 03:34:56 GMT, §qu@r3 Wh33£s >
> wrote:
>
> >On this day of this month, in a year likely to be unrecorded in human
> >history, CWO4 Dave Mann wrote:
> >
> >
> >> If you are over 50 please have your colon examined and don't worry
> >> about the
> >> side effects.
> >>
> >> Cheers,
> >>
> >> Dave
> >
> >Beautifully written, Dave, and I'm a professional!
> >
> >Very, very funny, but yes, folks, do have an exam at least yearly. My
best
> >friend's father did, had cancer, had surgery and chemo and is doing just
> >fine now, a survivor. In a matter of a few weeks only.
> >
> >OK, it usually makes guys .. uh .. antsy? .. similar to the Bobbit
> >Skrunchover .. but just DO IT !!
> >
> >Sorry they found no probes, BTW -- you could have made a /killing/ on
eBay......
> >
> >
> >SW
>
>
> Well, I haven't posted much in this group, but I was just passing
> (gas) through and had to comment.
>
> Colonoscopy is recommended every TEN years after 50. It has to do
> with how slowly cancers in that area grow. Most insurance companies
> aren't going to pay more often than that. As for the procedure, only
> the dance with the laxatives the night before is unpleasant. You will
> feel absolutely nothing during the procedure (and I felt nothing
> after--no gas or anything). When the surgeon said you're clean (I
> heard him through that trippy sedated fog) you feel great! No Big C
> fer me, thanks!
>
> Sigmoidoscopy is hardly worth it given the much greater coverage of a
> colonoscopy. I had exactly one. The device itself is not
> painful--you're so greased up they could slide an Airbus 380 in. It's
> the damn air they use to keep the colon inflated so that all nooks and
> crannies are visible (I watched mine on the monitor). Cramps
> almighty--you feel like you could leap tall buildings with the
> pressure that builds up. And farting after! You'd think it would all
> come out in one long blast, but noooo! You fart and fart for a day
> (not smelly since you're cleaned out anyway).
>
> So get your colonoscopies, you big babies over 50! Colon cancer is
> one nasty way to die.
>
> Now, a serious question. Airliners are pressurized to about 5000',
> right? I wonder if that encourages or discourages farting (the
> former, I would think). I know that I have delighted other passengers
> on occasion, and wondered where the urge came from. I just hope to be
> positioned to spray that annoying little brat seated near me. And his
> mother who won't shut him up.

Some doctors will perform the proceedure with only a mild sedative, so you
can watch the monitor (which looks a lot like the uSoft "Maze" screensaver)
through the entire colonoscopy and even ask questions.

OTOH, the gallon of cleaning solution gathered an amazing amount of flavor
after the first 25%. Any attempt at an accurate description would be
scattered though about 100 pages of expaltives...

Peter

[No Name]

"CWO4 Dave Mann" > wrote in message
. ..
> Paul Elliot wrote:
> --Snipped in for the sake of common decency! -
>
> >> ‎Dave
> >
>
> > BTDT, you missed out on the technicolor tour with the video camera.
> > Since mine was just a sigmoidoscopy, I was awake and got to watch the
> > movie live. Woo Hoo!
> >
>
> You know what ****ed me off, is that they took all kinds of pictures and
> had teh movie camera rolling, but the VA told me they don't have the
> facilities to give me a copy of the video. I wanted to put it on youtube.
>
> Oh well, the exam was free, so I ain't complaining.
>
> Cheers,
>
> Dave
No Thanks! I don't want to see your poop chute!