I am the very model of a Usenet individual!

[Jim Logajan]

In the interest in lightening the mood, I thought I'd share the
following to fellow rec.aviation.piloting readers:

Last time I checked no one had recorded it to audio, yet here is the
infamous "I am the very model of a Usenet individual" (based on the "I
am the very model of a modern major-general" song from Gilbert and
Sullivan's play ""The Pirates of Penzance") in all its absurd audio glory
(lyrics thoughtfully printed out):

http://www.fun-with-english.co.uk/2006/07/major-usenet-user-song-podcast.html

Still, my favorite major-general song parody is still "I am the very
model of a heroine barbarian":

http://www.luxumbradei.com/parody/xena.html

Links to other versions of the major-general song parodies are gathered
here:

http://www.luxumbradei.com/parody/piratesidx.html

[Ron Wanttaja]

On Wed, 14 Feb 2007 03:33:11 -0000, Jim Logajan > wrote:

>In the interest in lightening the mood, I thought I'd share the
>following to fellow rec.aviation.piloting readers:

Here's something similar I posted to rec.aviation.homebuilt a while back...some
may see some parallels, here.

(To the tune of, "Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover):

The problem is all across USENET, he said to me
From alt.pix.puppies to rec.autos.datsun.z
I'd like to help you try to stop his awful tune
There must be fifty ways to whack a net-loon
....fifty ways to whack a net-loon.

I know you don't want to be violent or be crude
Even when the idiot net-loon picks a fight or just is being lewd
Or posts a JPEG of his pimple-studded moon,
There must be fifty ways to whack a net loon
....fifty ways to whack a net-loon

Just toast him like bread, Fred. Make it a jewel, Euell.
No need to be soft, Croft... just listen to me.
Make the idiot scream, Gene. Send his blood pressure up, Chuck
Just question his life, Dwight, it's a fake I.D.

He said it grieved him so, to see that tired old game
With the net-loon twisting all the quotes but misspelling his own name
Remember that when he posts, he's probably dressed-up like a dame
There must be fifty ways to whack a net-loon.
....fifty ways to whack a net loon

Just sign him up for spam, Dan. Killfile the snake, Jake.
Don't do anything small, Paul...really nail that S.O.B.
Give his ego a bruise, Bruce. Point out he's a jerk, Burke.
Just flame him online, Ryan...and get yourself free...

Ron "Just the messenger" Wanttaja

[Jim Logajan]

Ron Wanttaja > wrote:
> Here's something similar I posted to rec.aviation.homebuilt a while
> back...some may see some parallels, here.
>
> (To the tune of, "Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover):

You know, when I first heard Paul Simon's song I didn't like it for some
reason. Not the lyrics so much as the melody. But I grew out of my
dislike and came to appreciate both the lyrics and the melody.

Your lyrics are amusing, apropos, and worth repeating:

> The problem is all across USENET, he said to me
> From alt.pix.puppies to rec.autos.datsun.z
> I'd like to help you try to stop his awful tune
> There must be fifty ways to whack a net-loon
> ...fifty ways to whack a net-loon.
>
> I know you don't want to be violent or be crude
> Even when the idiot net-loon picks a fight or just is being lewd
> Or posts a JPEG of his pimple-studded moon,
> There must be fifty ways to whack a net loon
> ...fifty ways to whack a net-loon
>
> Just toast him like bread, Fred. Make it a jewel, Euell.
> No need to be soft, Croft... just listen to me.
> Make the idiot scream, Gene. Send his blood pressure up, Chuck
> Just question his life, Dwight, it's a fake I.D.
>
> He said it grieved him so, to see that tired old game
> With the net-loon twisting all the quotes but misspelling his own name
> Remember that when he posts, he's probably dressed-up like a dame
> There must be fifty ways to whack a net-loon.
> ...fifty ways to whack a net loon
>
> Just sign him up for spam, Dan. Killfile the snake, Jake.
> Don't do anything small, Paul...really nail that S.O.B.
> Give his ego a bruise, Bruce. Point out he's a jerk, Burke.
> Just flame him online, Ryan...and get yourself free...
>
> Ron "Just the messenger" Wanttaja

"Fifty ways to shoot the messenger" ;-)

[Don Tuite]

You are indeed a gentleman and a scholar, James.

Don

On Wed, 14 Feb 2007 03:33:11 -0000, Jim Logajan >
wrote:

>In the interest in lightening the mood, I thought I'd share the
>following to fellow rec.aviation.piloting readers:
>
>Last time I checked no one had recorded it to audio, yet here is the
>infamous "I am the very model of a Usenet individual" (based on the "I
>am the very model of a modern major-general" song from Gilbert and
>Sullivan's play ""The Pirates of Penzance") in all its absurd audio glory
>(lyrics thoughtfully printed out):
>
>http://www.fun-with-english.co.uk/2006/07/major-usenet-user-song-podcast.html
>
>Still, my favorite major-general song parody is still "I am the very
>model of a heroine barbarian":
>
>http://www.luxumbradei.com/parody/xena.html
>
>Links to other versions of the major-general song parodies are gathered
>here:
>
>http://www.luxumbradei.com/parody/piratesidx.html