Re: WINNERS! Usenet Kook Awards, June 2008

[The Demon of Mockery]

Hail Eris! Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler wrote:
> "20th Century Fox Fanfare"
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z54ynmUPZ5c
>
> The time has come to announce the winners of the June 2008 Usenet
> Kook Awards. Envelopes, please!
>
> BOBO AWARD
>
> The winner is...SCOTT "WEREO" LIFSHINE!
>
> Scott "Wereo" Lifshine
>
> 21 votes YES
> 01 votes NO
>
> Congratulations, Wereo! For not only exposing your kookery in a court
> of law, but consenting to have your small claim case televised, you have
> shown that your kookery knows no bounds when it comes to publicity.
> Furthermore, the televising of your time before the bench and the
> archiving of that incident on YouTube means that you have now achieved
> the bare minimum for the "global humiliation" standard for this most
> esteemed award that alt.usenet.kooks gives out for lifetime achievement
> in kookery.
>
> We (TINW) now present, for your viewing pleasure, the only man that
> matters on USENET--WEREO!

AWL HALE TEH NUKULAR WARRIOR!

> http://youtube.com/watch?v=l7Gac3AthnY
>
> KOOK OF THE MONTH
>
> The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
>
> 22 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
> 06 votes Anthony X AKA "Sir Tony Baloney"
> 02 votes Alan Connor posting as "Tom Newton,"
> 01 votes None of the above
>
> Congratulations, Lamie! The "tard"iness of this report is at least
> partially due to you, not only because of your being USENET's notorious
> spamtard, but because the FNVW spent two weeks racking racking his brain
> trying to think of 13 unique things to say about you. That, along with
> the original report being lost when the FNVW's outbox became corrupted,
> contributed to this report coming out two weeks late. Fluffy was not
> pleased, and neither was I.

I think it's safe to say the entire Imperial Court was generally
cheesed off, Mr. Baillie.

> What, you thought you were going to sit down? Hardly. You're "Not
> Dead Yet" for there are 12 more awards with your name on them, so stand
> right here.
>
> "Not Dead Yet" from Spamalot
> http://youtube.com/watch?v=vBz_WS6CdWc

Absolutely made of sheer awesome.

> CLUELESS NEWBIE OF THE MONTH
>
> The winner is...MAXWELL!
>
> 10 votes Maxwell
> 08 votes Patriot Games
> 00 votes Neither of the above
>
> Congratulations, Maxwell! Your lits o' haet including many different
> people as "sockpuppets of Bertie" and your inability to distinguish
> between fr0gging and forging, along with your continued whining and
> utter inability to deal with a notorious troll (and Bertie is notorious,
> especially in New Zealand!), earned you this award over someone who
> cried "censorship" when he couldn't see his own articles because of
> propagation issues. See you in January, when you'll be on the ballot
> for Clueless Newbie of the Year!

Oh well, at least it was close.

> COWARD OF THE MONTH
>
> The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
>
> 20 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
> 04 votes Is Ken Darian
> 04 votes Raymond Karczewski
> 01 votes None of the above
>
> Congratulations a second time, Spamtard! Your persistent legal threats,
> bogus DMCA takedowns, attempts to get others to do your dirty work, and
> running away from tough questions won you this prize. Now, watch your
> role model, Brave Sir Robin, and learn some style points from him.

Fat, ugly, stupid, cowardly, and k00ky, Lamie: Which three of these do
you think the ladies care about more? Of those three, which of them is
the most likely to earn you scorn from any woman with a pulse? BTW,
congratulations on beating both a legendarily cowardly k00k and a
promising upstart.

> "Brave Sir Robin" from Spamalot
> http://youtube.com/watch?v=AShveV6I_EA
>
> LOONEY MAROON AWARD
>
> The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
>
> 22 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
> 09 votes Brad Guth
> 01 votes Neither of the above
>
> Congratulations a third time, Lamie! My policy is to only allow someone
> to run for both Kook of the Month and Looney Maroon on the same ballot
> if they are an exceptionally strong candidate and are also exceptionally
> looney. Your sweeping of all 13 categories for which you were nominated
> this month confirmed the wisdom of allowing you to contest both awards.
> The Knights of the Round Table from Spamalot would be proud of you.

I haven't seen such sheer and unmitigated looniness outside of RADW in
many years, and even then, only in overall quality of froth --
Agamemnon can't be bothered with reporting anyone since that would
detract from the attention paid to him, and Yads has his own schtick.

> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBR_HsCfNxo
>
> GOLDEN KILLFILE
>
> The winner is...GREGVK!
>
> 16 votes gregvk
> 09 votes The Mark Morgan Fan Club of rec.radio.amateur.policy
> 01 votes Neither of the above
>
> Congratulations, gregvk/jitter/malscribe/purpurroterwald! Flaming
> someone by wishing them ovarian cancer, among other lamery, has earned
> you this distinction of being worthy of being ignored by everyone on
> USENET.

And he is so very worthy.

> JOSEPH BARTLO MEMORIAL PATHETIC ANAL PINEAPPLE AWARD
>
> The winner is...GREGVK!
>
> 19 votes gregvk
> 09 votes Abbedd of rec.music.classical.recordings
> 00 votes Neither of the above
>
> Congratulations, again, Greggie poo! Your schtick may go over really
> well on Something Awful, 4Chan, or Encyclopedia Dramatica, but on AUK,
> it's merely pathetic. In fact, it's so pathetic that you will
> eventually be thrown into the Galactic Killfile for it. When that will
> happen is for me to know, and for you not to find out.

On the bright side, he x-no-archives, so much of his **** will be
entirely forgotten by
Google, and the rest of it will stand as a testament to his obsession
with showing up
AUK's brand of kookology as an outdated, politically correct dinosaur
with no
relevance to the "real" thing (q.v. innumerable (Literally!) posts
about the awards
only mattering to a small number of people). Well, if what he calls
"kookology" is the
current state of the art, I would be proud to have him call me a kook,
since he has
also described every single one of my colleagues in more-or-less
similar terms. Puts
me in the right company, to my mind.

> PALMJOB PADDLE
>
> The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
>
> 22 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
> 07 votes Raymond Karczewski
> 02 votes dvus
> 00 votes None of the above
>
> Congratulations, again, Spanktard! This is your first repeat win of an
> AUK award, fittingly, for being completely spanked by NANAE and whoever
> on AUK was also participating. Now, make like King Arthur and the
> Knights of the Round Table and "RUN AWAY!"

Alas, poor dvus, he never stood a chance against the great self-
spanker of NANAE.
Or, for that matter, Kazoo. Ah, well.

> "Run Away" from Spamalot
> http://youtube.com/watch?v=GA7IDKWoz2o
>
> TONY SIDAWAY DRAMA QUEEN AWARD
>
> The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
>
> 21 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
> 08 votes Raymond Karczewski
> 01 votes Babaloonie
> 00 votes Neither of the above
>
> Congratulations, Dramatard! Ridiculous ranting? Check. Unprovoked
> meltdowns? Check. Operatic flouncing? Check. Threatening to leave
> USENET forever, preferably several times a week? We (TINW) could only
> hope. In the meantime, here is another role model of yours; she might
> teach you something.

<sets about preparing a suitable crown for Lamie>

> "Diva's Lament (What Ever Happened to My Part?)" from Spamalot
> http://youtube.com/watch?v=u9VMImm_61Y
>
> VICTOR VON FRANKENSTEIN WEIRD SCIENCE AWARD
>
> The winner is..."PHOTON DEGRADATION' BY DOUBLE-A!
>
> "Photon Degradation" by Double-A
>
> 20 votes YES
> 00 votes NO
>
> Congratulations, Double-A! It looks like all the weird science thrown
> around alt.astronomy has finally infiltrated your consciousness. It was
> only a matter of time.

"Tired light." Hee-hee!

> DOUGLAS GRANT MEDAL FOR HISTORICAL REVISIONISM
>
> The winner is...JOHN WENTZKY!
>
> 12 votes "Confederate Flag revisionism" by John Wentzky
> 09 votes "Protocols of the Elders of Zion" by Bloxy/Nukleus
> 01 votes Neither of the above
>
> Congratulations, John-Boy! Your original revisionism about the
> Confederate States of America eked out a win over the repeated
> reprinting of the most notorious piece of bogus revisionist history, to
> say nothing of the mother of all conspiracy theories (the grandmother
> being anything involving the Knights Templar), still extant. All that
> was missing was the cry of "The South Shall Rise Again!" Yes, it will,
> but not because of revisionists like you.

Well, technically, the "Elders of Zion" are linked to the Bavarian
Illuminati, who are said
to be inheritors of the tradition of the Templars -- therefore,
Wentzky did indeed
beat out the grandmother of all conspiracy theories...Kind of.

> GEORGE PICKETT MEMORIAL TROPHY
>
> The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
>
> 26 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
> 02 votes Alan Connor posting as "Tom Newton"
> 00 votes Neither of the above
>
> Further congratulations to you, Lamie! Your multiple crusades, but
> especially your campaign against aioe, have attracted the attention of
> NANAE and AUK and earned you this award. Did you get that aioe user
> banned? No? You did, however, give the admin of aioe an opportunity to
> show that he has balls and integrity, which is one of the reasons that
> I'm now accepting ballots from that site, when a few months ago, I
> shredded them on sight. That's a "victory" just like The Black
> Knight's!

You gotta sever the head. It only counts if you have a severed head to
hold up...
Incidentally, I'd like to suggest that Lamie be awarded Wollmann's own
heretofore-unique
award (for, I believe, much the same sort of k00kery) -- the one to
which you just
referred.;-{P}

> The Black Knight from Spamalot.
> http://youtube.com/watch?v=k2jYtRTEaNI
>
> SPECIAL OPS CODY MEMORIAL PURPLE HEART
>
> The winner is...THE RAMD ASSWIPE BRIGADE!
>
> 12 votes The RAMD Asswipe Brigade
> 09 votes Dr. Andrew B. Chung
> 00 votes Neither of the above
>
> Congratulations, Post-Show Parking Lot Brawlers! Your continued
> attempts to "plonk the filth" didn't chase any outsiders away from your
> home froup. Instead, it got you cascade after cascade mocking your
> efforts. Oh, your work also got you a victory over a big-name kook--the
> biggest award winner of the past three years, in fact. That's quite the
> accomplishment (1993 Star of Indiana golf clap for all of you).

<considerately adjusts the froup line>

> TAR & FEATHERS
>
> The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
>
> 22 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
> 06 votes Ed Conrad
> 01 votes Neither of the above
>
> Sincere congratulations to you for this one, Spamtard. Not only did you
> have to prove that you had cleared the high bar of being a "terminally
> clueless crusader" that everyone in your home group would like to see
> run out of town on a rail, you handily defeated, in his third attempt at
> this award, one of the few people I know who really was run out of a
> USENET group on a rail, Ed "Coalbrain" Conrad, whose kookery is even
> more legendary than yours.

Lamie will be a hard act for Yads to follow. But he's trying! He gets
the Big, Scary
Headers just right, and consistently mis-identifies the progenitors
(or *progenitor*,
as the case may be) of the relevant posts as moi. Posting entire web
pages
(apparently, radical Islamic ones) and identifying them as belonging
to his personal usenet
enemies is further evidence of his future eligibility for this fine
recognition of lifetime achievement in net.cluelessness. Also, take
note:
http://www.fortunecity.com/tatooine/forbidden/392/adrics/adrics.html

The Dave Yadallee Award for Net.Cluelessness: Dave Yadallee (four
times, from
1994-2003). I'm predicting a landslide victory for Teh Yads as CNOTM.
Sorry, but I can find no
record of any awards after 2003 (and as I recall, Yads was a
disastrous choice for
host in a later year, but damfiremember which -- he should get an
honorary DYANC
for that one, but it'd be redundant). If any radwers can point me at
the correct site
(for the more recent awards), that would be most appreciated.

> BUSTED URINAL AWARD
>
> The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
>
> 13 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
> 12 votes gregvk
> 07 votes Abbedd of rec.music.classical.recordings
> 02 votes None of the above
> 00 votes Is Ken Darien
>
> Congratulations yet again! It's only appropriate that someone whose
> most common nickname is "Lamie" should win the award for "the lamest of
> the lame on USENET." Yes, Jamie, that's you.

Then it's even more fitting that someone who may well have caused a
first- or
second-wave meower to originate the saying, "AWL HALE TEH MITY POAST
COUNT!"
should follow him on the July ballot. Mind you, Patriot Games has had
an output of
roughly 69,000 posts in the past year or so, as well. Yads vs Milby
should be *epic*.

> UNABOMBER SURPRISE
>
> The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
>
> Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
>
> 25 votes YES
> 03 votes NO
>
> Congratulations, Spamtard! Your eye-glazing screeds that you call
> "abuse reports" really do say the least possible with the most text.

Yads attempts to do the very opposite, on a post-by-post basis, but he
replies to
practically everything, regardless of whether he has an intelligible
comment to add,
so the cumulative effect of reading his posts is much the same as
reading any one
of Baillie's. Even moreso, when he poasts headers or webpages.

> BOLO BULLIS FOAM DUCK
>
> The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
>
> 15 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
> 14 votes Bobbi Sanchez AKA Lady Veteran
> 00 votes Neither of the above
>
> Congratulations Lamie! Of course, you had an unfair advantage with this
> award. The criterion is that you had to demonstrate that you lost more
> marbles than a Chinese Checker factory. Well, there is some doubt you
> ever had those marbles in the first place!

I foresee a possibility that, one day, Yads and Aggie will both be
nominated for this
most auspicious award in the same month. I predict a tie, in such a
case.

> BALSA GAVEL
>
> The winner is...SCOTT "WEREO" LIFSHINE!
>
> Scott "Wereo" Lifshine
>
> 21 votes YES
> 00 votes NO
>
> Congratulations, again, Mr. Lifshine! For suing someone that you met
> over the Internet about your pet kooky project, you have managed to earn
> not only the highest honor AUK gives out for kookery, but one of the
> rarest awards AUK gives out. After all, it's a special breed who
> actually sues over someone thwarting their USENET obsession.

GO WEREO GO!

> BARBARA WOODHOUSE MEMORIAL DOG-WHISTLE AWARD
>
> The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE, TRAINED BY GARY BURNORE!
>
> 21 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie, trained by Gary Burnore.
> 05 votes Maxwell, trained by Bertie the Bunyip
> 00 votes Neither of the above
>
> Congratulations, Gary, for your training of Lamie! This makes two
> kooks, Dimmy and now Lamie, that are at your beck and call. They
> certainly make for a wonderfully loony matched set!

And they'll even snarl at each other!

> PIERRE SALINGER MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER
>
> The winner is..."WE NEED A NEW FNVW"!
>
> "We need a new FNVW" by Pope Snarky, Pinku-Sensei, and Art Deco
>
> 16 votes YES
> 04 votes NO
>
> Congratulations, Snarky and Art! You two did a wonderful job of making
> lemonade out of lemons and then getting the kooks and kookologists to
> drink it!

<curtsy> Conga-rats yerself on adding another Salinger to your
record...

> OFFICE OF DARTH BAWL
>
> The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
>
> 16 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
> 09 votes Bobbi Sanchez AKA Lady Veteran
> 05 votes Brad Guth
>
> Congratulations, Dramatard! By winning this office, you not only beat
> out another notorious whiner, but you made yourself eligible for yet
> another annual award--The Bardley Annual Whining Baby New Year--to go
> along with Rookie Kook of the Year, Kook of the Year, and Coward of the
> Year. If you have a website, you would also be eligible for the
> kooksite of the year award, too.

Well, allegedly he does, but it ain't loadin'. <tries again> Nope.

> OFFICE OF VILLAGE IDIOT
>
> The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
>
> 26 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
> 04 votes Charles Lysaght
>
> Congratulations for the final time this month, Lamie! You handily
> defeated one of the most notoriously and entertainingly idiotic posters
> to USENET, the infamous Chuckles Lysaght, capping off an election in
> which you have probably won more awards in a single month than any other
> kook in AUK history. While some might decry this as piling on, your
> history of kookery and idiocy on the Internet goes back 15 years, so a
> good case can be made that this is merely catching up for lost time.
> Besides, you can look on the bright side--there are still more awards
> you can win!

I think he might have beaten out Teh Monkey -- I don't remember how
the latter
won his awards anymore...

> "Always Look at the Bright Side of Life" from Spamalot
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qukfTiqyR8
>
> KOOKI INFORMATION MINISTER
>
> The winner is...ALEXA CAMERON!
>
> 15 votes Alexa Cameron
> 07 votes John Wentzky
>
> Cpngratulations, Alexa! You handily defeated this month's winner of the
> Doogie Rant Medal for Historical Revisionism to held on to your office
> for spreading misinformation. Your reputation for misinformation is now
> legend.

That _is_ an astonishing feat.

> MINISTRY OF CIRCLE JERKS
>
> The winner is...BIG-8 MANAGEMENT BOARD!
>
> 11 votes Big-8 Management Board
> 08 votes The Mark Morgan Fan Club of rec.radio.amateur.policy
> 07 votes The Gun Nutz of misc.survivalism and talk.politics.guns
> 02 votes Nazicowards of soc.culture.israel
>
> Congratulations, B8MBies! You have finally beaten out the Saucerheads
> of alt.astronomy as the contingent who have occupied this office the
> most times. So, are you going to push for term limits?

Close race!

> OFFICE OF ILLUCIDUS MAXIMUS
>
> The winner is...Jeff Relf!
>
> 11 votes Jeff Relf
> 10 votes John Wentzky
>
> Congratulations, Glyph-boi! Your computer-assisted illucidity beat out
> someone who is naturally incoherent.

Even closer...

> This concludes the announcement of the winners of the June 2008 Usenet
> Kook Awards. Thirty-nine entities submitted thirty-nine ballots. One
> of these was from someone whose participation might actually please
> Fluffy, but who voted for previous winners, not candidates currently on
> the ballot. Another was a forgery that, worse yet, voted for the person
> being forged. A repeat performance will result in the forger being
> disenfranchised. Both ballots where shredded and added to Fluffy's
> Litter Box. The good news is that the money that would have been spent
> on cat litter this month has again been redirected to the the COO Beer
> Cooler (TINCOOBC). The bad news is that it's still just enough to cover
> inflation. Sorry, no La Fin du Monde this month, either.

Can we at least get some Bacardi rum? Not fond of beer, except the
virtual kind, but
I do enjoy rum & Coke. Virtual, RL, either way.

> See you all very shortly, as this month's nominations will come out ASAP
> and then the July election will be held in a few days. Until then, hail
> Fluffy and may Bob have mercy on your souls!

Hey, we(tinw) need a noms update...

> And now, a special recessional in honor of this month's big w(h)inner,
> Jamie "Lamie" Baillie!
>
> Sara Ramierez performing "Find Your Grail" at the 2005 Tony Awards
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3yRlnSgu-bY

Re-sending because it didn't go to the intended groups -- Wentzky and
Maxwell must be notified at once! Plus, I had some comments for RADW.

Snarky

[WeReo_ScoTTy]

"The Demon of Mockery" > wrote in message
...
> Hail Eris! Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler wrote:
>> "20th Century Fox Fanfare"
>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z54ynmUPZ5c
>>
>> The time has come to announce the winners of the June 2008 Usenet
>> Kook Awards. Envelopes, please!
>>
>> BOBO AWARD
>>
>> The winner is...SCOTT "WEREO" LIFSHINE!
>>
>> Scott "Wereo" Lifshine
>>
>> 21 votes YES
>> 01 votes NO
>>
>> Congratulations, Wereo! For not only exposing your kookery in a court
>> of law, but consenting to have your small claim case televised, you have
>> shown that your kookery knows no bounds when it comes to publicity.
>> Furthermore, the televising of your time before the bench and the
>> archiving of that incident on YouTube means that you have now achieved
>> the bare minimum for the "global humiliation" standard for this most
>> esteemed award that alt.usenet.kooks gives out for lifetime achievement
>> in kookery.
>>
>> We (TINW) now present, for your viewing pleasure, the only man that
>> matters on USENET--WEREO!
>
> AWL HALE TEH NUKULAR WARRIOR!
>
>> http://youtube.com/watch?v=l7Gac3AthnY
>>
>> KOOK OF THE MONTH
>>
>> The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
>>
>> 22 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
>> 06 votes Anthony X AKA "Sir Tony Baloney"
>> 02 votes Alan Connor posting as "Tom Newton,"
>> 01 votes None of the above
>>
>> Congratulations, Lamie! The "tard"iness of this report is at least
>> partially due to you, not only because of your being USENET's notorious
>> spamtard, but because the FNVW spent two weeks racking racking his brain
>> trying to think of 13 unique things to say about you. That, along with
>> the original report being lost when the FNVW's outbox became corrupted,
>> contributed to this report coming out two weeks late. Fluffy was not
>> pleased, and neither was I.
>
> I think it's safe to say the entire Imperial Court was generally
> cheesed off, Mr. Baillie.
>
>> What, you thought you were going to sit down? Hardly. You're "Not
>> Dead Yet" for there are 12 more awards with your name on them, so stand
>> right here.
>>
>> "Not Dead Yet" from Spamalot
>> http://youtube.com/watch?v=vBz_WS6CdWc
>
> Absolutely made of sheer awesome.
>
>> CLUELESS NEWBIE OF THE MONTH
>>
>> The winner is...MAXWELL!
>>
>> 10 votes Maxwell
>> 08 votes Patriot Games
>> 00 votes Neither of the above
>>
>> Congratulations, Maxwell! Your lits o' haet including many different
>> people as "sockpuppets of Bertie" and your inability to distinguish
>> between fr0gging and forging, along with your continued whining and
>> utter inability to deal with a notorious troll (and Bertie is notorious,
>> especially in New Zealand!), earned you this award over someone who
>> cried "censorship" when he couldn't see his own articles because of
>> propagation issues. See you in January, when you'll be on the ballot
>> for Clueless Newbie of the Year!
>
> Oh well, at least it was close.
>
>> COWARD OF THE MONTH
>>
>> The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
>>
>> 20 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
>> 04 votes Is Ken Darian
>> 04 votes Raymond Karczewski
>> 01 votes None of the above
>>
>> Congratulations a second time, Spamtard! Your persistent legal threats,
>> bogus DMCA takedowns, attempts to get others to do your dirty work, and
>> running away from tough questions won you this prize. Now, watch your
>> role model, Brave Sir Robin, and learn some style points from him.
>
> Fat, ugly, stupid, cowardly, and k00ky, Lamie: Which three of these do
> you think the ladies care about more? Of those three, which of them is
> the most likely to earn you scorn from any woman with a pulse? BTW,
> congratulations on beating both a legendarily cowardly k00k and a
> promising upstart.
>
>> "Brave Sir Robin" from Spamalot
>> http://youtube.com/watch?v=AShveV6I_EA
>>
>> LOONEY MAROON AWARD
>>
>> The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
>>
>> 22 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
>> 09 votes Brad Guth
>> 01 votes Neither of the above
>>
>> Congratulations a third time, Lamie! My policy is to only allow someone
>> to run for both Kook of the Month and Looney Maroon on the same ballot
>> if they are an exceptionally strong candidate and are also exceptionally
>> looney. Your sweeping of all 13 categories for which you were nominated
>> this month confirmed the wisdom of allowing you to contest both awards.
>> The Knights of the Round Table from Spamalot would be proud of you.
>
> I haven't seen such sheer and unmitigated looniness outside of RADW in
> many years, and even then, only in overall quality of froth --
> Agamemnon can't be bothered with reporting anyone since that would
> detract from the attention paid to him, and Yads has his own schtick.
>
>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBR_HsCfNxo
>>
>> GOLDEN KILLFILE
>>
>> The winner is...GREGVK!
>>
>> 16 votes gregvk
>> 09 votes The Mark Morgan Fan Club of rec.radio.amateur.policy
>> 01 votes Neither of the above
>>
>> Congratulations, gregvk/jitter/malscribe/purpurroterwald! Flaming
>> someone by wishing them ovarian cancer, among other lamery, has earned
>> you this distinction of being worthy of being ignored by everyone on
>> USENET.
>
> And he is so very worthy.
>
>> JOSEPH BARTLO MEMORIAL PATHETIC ANAL PINEAPPLE AWARD
>>
>> The winner is...GREGVK!
>>
>> 19 votes gregvk
>> 09 votes Abbedd of rec.music.classical.recordings
>> 00 votes Neither of the above
>>
>> Congratulations, again, Greggie poo! Your schtick may go over really
>> well on Something Awful, 4Chan, or Encyclopedia Dramatica, but on AUK,
>> it's merely pathetic. In fact, it's so pathetic that you will
>> eventually be thrown into the Galactic Killfile for it. When that will
>> happen is for me to know, and for you not to find out.
>
> On the bright side, he x-no-archives, so much of his **** will be
> entirely forgotten by
> Google, and the rest of it will stand as a testament to his obsession
> with showing up
> AUK's brand of kookology as an outdated, politically correct dinosaur
> with no
> relevance to the "real" thing (q.v. innumerable (Literally!) posts
> about the awards
> only mattering to a small number of people). Well, if what he calls
> "kookology" is the
> current state of the art, I would be proud to have him call me a kook,
> since he has
> also described every single one of my colleagues in more-or-less
> similar terms. Puts
> me in the right company, to my mind.
>
>> PALMJOB PADDLE
>>
>> The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
>>
>> 22 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
>> 07 votes Raymond Karczewski
>> 02 votes dvus
>> 00 votes None of the above
>>
>> Congratulations, again, Spanktard! This is your first repeat win of an
>> AUK award, fittingly, for being completely spanked by NANAE and whoever
>> on AUK was also participating. Now, make like King Arthur and the
>> Knights of the Round Table and "RUN AWAY!"
>
> Alas, poor dvus, he never stood a chance against the great self-
> spanker of NANAE.
> Or, for that matter, Kazoo. Ah, well.
>
>> "Run Away" from Spamalot
>> http://youtube.com/watch?v=GA7IDKWoz2o
>>
>> TONY SIDAWAY DRAMA QUEEN AWARD
>>
>> The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
>>
>> 21 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
>> 08 votes Raymond Karczewski
>> 01 votes Babaloonie
>> 00 votes Neither of the above
>>
>> Congratulations, Dramatard! Ridiculous ranting? Check. Unprovoked
>> meltdowns? Check. Operatic flouncing? Check. Threatening to leave
>> USENET forever, preferably several times a week? We (TINW) could only
>> hope. In the meantime, here is another role model of yours; she might
>> teach you something.
>
> <sets about preparing a suitable crown for Lamie>
>
>> "Diva's Lament (What Ever Happened to My Part?)" from Spamalot
>> http://youtube.com/watch?v=u9VMImm_61Y
>>
>> VICTOR VON FRANKENSTEIN WEIRD SCIENCE AWARD
>>
>> The winner is..."PHOTON DEGRADATION' BY DOUBLE-A!
>>
>> "Photon Degradation" by Double-A
>>
>> 20 votes YES
>> 00 votes NO
>>
>> Congratulations, Double-A! It looks like all the weird science thrown
>> around alt.astronomy has finally infiltrated your consciousness. It was
>> only a matter of time.
>
> "Tired light." Hee-hee!
>
>> DOUGLAS GRANT MEDAL FOR HISTORICAL REVISIONISM
>>
>> The winner is...JOHN WENTZKY!
>>
>> 12 votes "Confederate Flag revisionism" by John Wentzky
>> 09 votes "Protocols of the Elders of Zion" by Bloxy/Nukleus
>> 01 votes Neither of the above
>>
>> Congratulations, John-Boy! Your original revisionism about the
>> Confederate States of America eked out a win over the repeated
>> reprinting of the most notorious piece of bogus revisionist history, to
>> say nothing of the mother of all conspiracy theories (the grandmother
>> being anything involving the Knights Templar), still extant. All that
>> was missing was the cry of "The South Shall Rise Again!" Yes, it will,
>> but not because of revisionists like you.
>
> Well, technically, the "Elders of Zion" are linked to the Bavarian
> Illuminati, who are said
> to be inheritors of the tradition of the Templars -- therefore,
> Wentzky did indeed
> beat out the grandmother of all conspiracy theories...Kind of.
>
>> GEORGE PICKETT MEMORIAL TROPHY
>>
>> The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
>>
>> 26 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
>> 02 votes Alan Connor posting as "Tom Newton"
>> 00 votes Neither of the above
>>
>> Further congratulations to you, Lamie! Your multiple crusades, but
>> especially your campaign against aioe, have attracted the attention of
>> NANAE and AUK and earned you this award. Did you get that aioe user
>> banned? No? You did, however, give the admin of aioe an opportunity to
>> show that he has balls and integrity, which is one of the reasons that
>> I'm now accepting ballots from that site, when a few months ago, I
>> shredded them on sight. That's a "victory" just like The Black
>> Knight's!
>
> You gotta sever the head. It only counts if you have a severed head to
> hold up...
> Incidentally, I'd like to suggest that Lamie be awarded Wollmann's own
> heretofore-unique
> award (for, I believe, much the same sort of k00kery) -- the one to
> which you just
> referred.;-{P}
>
>> The Black Knight from Spamalot.
>> http://youtube.com/watch?v=k2jYtRTEaNI
>>
>> SPECIAL OPS CODY MEMORIAL PURPLE HEART
>>
>> The winner is...THE RAMD ASSWIPE BRIGADE!
>>
>> 12 votes The RAMD Asswipe Brigade
>> 09 votes Dr. Andrew B. Chung
>> 00 votes Neither of the above
>>
>> Congratulations, Post-Show Parking Lot Brawlers! Your continued
>> attempts to "plonk the filth" didn't chase any outsiders away from your
>> home froup. Instead, it got you cascade after cascade mocking your
>> efforts. Oh, your work also got you a victory over a big-name kook--the
>> biggest award winner of the past three years, in fact. That's quite the
>> accomplishment (1993 Star of Indiana golf clap for all of you).
>
> <considerately adjusts the froup line>
>
>> TAR & FEATHERS
>>
>> The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
>>
>> 22 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
>> 06 votes Ed Conrad
>> 01 votes Neither of the above
>>
>> Sincere congratulations to you for this one, Spamtard. Not only did you
>> have to prove that you had cleared the high bar of being a "terminally
>> clueless crusader" that everyone in your home group would like to see
>> run out of town on a rail, you handily defeated, in his third attempt at
>> this award, one of the few people I know who really was run out of a
>> USENET group on a rail, Ed "Coalbrain" Conrad, whose kookery is even
>> more legendary than yours.
>
> Lamie will be a hard act for Yads to follow. But he's trying! He gets
> the Big, Scary
> Headers just right, and consistently mis-identifies the progenitors
> (or *progenitor*,
> as the case may be) of the relevant posts as moi. Posting entire web
> pages
> (apparently, radical Islamic ones) and identifying them as belonging
> to his personal usenet
> enemies is further evidence of his future eligibility for this fine
> recognition of lifetime achievement in net.cluelessness. Also, take
> note:
> http://www.fortunecity.com/tatooine/forbidden/392/adrics/adrics.html
>
> The Dave Yadallee Award for Net.Cluelessness: Dave Yadallee (four
> times, from
> 1994-2003). I'm predicting a landslide victory for Teh Yads as CNOTM.
> Sorry, but I can find no
> record of any awards after 2003 (and as I recall, Yads was a
> disastrous choice for
> host in a later year, but damfiremember which -- he should get an
> honorary DYANC
> for that one, but it'd be redundant). If any radwers can point me at
> the correct site
> (for the more recent awards), that would be most appreciated.
>
>> BUSTED URINAL AWARD
>>
>> The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
>>
>> 13 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
>> 12 votes gregvk
>> 07 votes Abbedd of rec.music.classical.recordings
>> 02 votes None of the above
>> 00 votes Is Ken Darien
>>
>> Congratulations yet again! It's only appropriate that someone whose
>> most common nickname is "Lamie" should win the award for "the lamest of
>> the lame on USENET." Yes, Jamie, that's you.
>
> Then it's even more fitting that someone who may well have caused a
> first- or
> second-wave meower to originate the saying, "AWL HALE TEH MITY POAST
> COUNT!"
> should follow him on the July ballot. Mind you, Patriot Games has had
> an output of
> roughly 69,000 posts in the past year or so, as well. Yads vs Milby
> should be *epic*.
>
>> UNABOMBER SURPRISE
>>
>> The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
>>
>> Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
>>
>> 25 votes YES
>> 03 votes NO
>>
>> Congratulations, Spamtard! Your eye-glazing screeds that you call
>> "abuse reports" really do say the least possible with the most text.
>
> Yads attempts to do the very opposite, on a post-by-post basis, but he
> replies to
> practically everything, regardless of whether he has an intelligible
> comment to add,
> so the cumulative effect of reading his posts is much the same as
> reading any one
> of Baillie's. Even moreso, when he poasts headers or webpages.
>
>> BOLO BULLIS FOAM DUCK
>>
>> The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
>>
>> 15 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
>> 14 votes Bobbi Sanchez AKA Lady Veteran
>> 00 votes Neither of the above
>>
>> Congratulations Lamie! Of course, you had an unfair advantage with this
>> award. The criterion is that you had to demonstrate that you lost more
>> marbles than a Chinese Checker factory. Well, there is some doubt you
>> ever had those marbles in the first place!
>
> I foresee a possibility that, one day, Yads and Aggie will both be
> nominated for this
> most auspicious award in the same month. I predict a tie, in such a
> case.
>
>> BALSA GAVEL
>>
>> The winner is...SCOTT "WEREO" LIFSHINE!
>>
>> Scott "Wereo" Lifshine
>>
>> 21 votes YES
>> 00 votes NO
>>
>> Congratulations, again, Mr. Lifshine! For suing someone that you met
>> over the Internet about your pet kooky project, you have managed to earn
>> not only the highest honor AUK gives out for kookery, but one of the
>> rarest awards AUK gives out. After all, it's a special breed who
>> actually sues over someone thwarting their USENET obsession.
>
> GO WEREO GO!
>
>> BARBARA WOODHOUSE MEMORIAL DOG-WHISTLE AWARD
>>
>> The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE, TRAINED BY GARY BURNORE!
>>
>> 21 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie, trained by Gary Burnore.
>> 05 votes Maxwell, trained by Bertie the Bunyip
>> 00 votes Neither of the above
>>
>> Congratulations, Gary, for your training of Lamie! This makes two
>> kooks, Dimmy and now Lamie, that are at your beck and call. They
>> certainly make for a wonderfully loony matched set!
>
> And they'll even snarl at each other!
>
>> PIERRE SALINGER MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER
>>
>> The winner is..."WE NEED A NEW FNVW"!
>>
>> "We need a new FNVW" by Pope Snarky, Pinku-Sensei, and Art Deco
>>
>> 16 votes YES
>> 04 votes NO
>>
>> Congratulations, Snarky and Art! You two did a wonderful job of making
>> lemonade out of lemons and then getting the kooks and kookologists to
>> drink it!
>
> <curtsy> Conga-rats yerself on adding another Salinger to your
> record...
>
>> OFFICE OF DARTH BAWL
>>
>> The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
>>
>> 16 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
>> 09 votes Bobbi Sanchez AKA Lady Veteran
>> 05 votes Brad Guth
>>
>> Congratulations, Dramatard! By winning this office, you not only beat
>> out another notorious whiner, but you made yourself eligible for yet
>> another annual award--The Bardley Annual Whining Baby New Year--to go
>> along with Rookie Kook of the Year, Kook of the Year, and Coward of the
>> Year. If you have a website, you would also be eligible for the
>> kooksite of the year award, too.
>
> Well, allegedly he does, but it ain't loadin'. <tries again> Nope.
>
>> OFFICE OF VILLAGE IDIOT
>>
>> The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
>>
>> 26 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
>> 04 votes Charles Lysaght
>>
>> Congratulations for the final time this month, Lamie! You handily
>> defeated one of the most notoriously and entertainingly idiotic posters
>> to USENET, the infamous Chuckles Lysaght, capping off an election in
>> which you have probably won more awards in a single month than any other
>> kook in AUK history. While some might decry this as piling on, your
>> history of kookery and idiocy on the Internet goes back 15 years, so a
>> good case can be made that this is merely catching up for lost time.
>> Besides, you can look on the bright side--there are still more awards
>> you can win!
>
> I think he might have beaten out Teh Monkey -- I don't remember how
> the latter
> won his awards anymore...
>
>> "Always Look at the Bright Side of Life" from Spamalot
>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qukfTiqyR8
>>
>> KOOKI INFORMATION MINISTER
>>
>> The winner is...ALEXA CAMERON!
>>
>> 15 votes Alexa Cameron
>> 07 votes John Wentzky
>>
>> Cpngratulations, Alexa! You handily defeated this month's winner of the
>> Doogie Rant Medal for Historical Revisionism to held on to your office
>> for spreading misinformation. Your reputation for misinformation is now
>> legend.
>
> That _is_ an astonishing feat.
>
>> MINISTRY OF CIRCLE JERKS
>>
>> The winner is...BIG-8 MANAGEMENT BOARD!
>>
>> 11 votes Big-8 Management Board
>> 08 votes The Mark Morgan Fan Club of rec.radio.amateur.policy
>> 07 votes The Gun Nutz of misc.survivalism and talk.politics.guns
>> 02 votes Nazicowards of soc.culture.israel
>>
>> Congratulations, B8MBies! You have finally beaten out the Saucerheads
>> of alt.astronomy as the contingent who have occupied this office the
>> most times. So, are you going to push for term limits?
>
> Close race!
>
>> OFFICE OF ILLUCIDUS MAXIMUS
>>
>> The winner is...Jeff Relf!
>>
>> 11 votes Jeff Relf
>> 10 votes John Wentzky
>>
>> Congratulations, Glyph-boi! Your computer-assisted illucidity beat out
>> someone who is naturally incoherent.
>
> Even closer...
>
>> This concludes the announcement of the winners of the June 2008 Usenet
>> Kook Awards. Thirty-nine entities submitted thirty-nine ballots. One
>> of these was from someone whose participation might actually please
>> Fluffy, but who voted for previous winners, not candidates currently on
>> the ballot. Another was a forgery that, worse yet, voted for the person
>> being forged. A repeat performance will result in the forger being
>> disenfranchised. Both ballots where shredded and added to Fluffy's
>> Litter Box. The good news is that the money that would have been spent
>> on cat litter this month has again been redirected to the the COO Beer
>> Cooler (TINCOOBC). The bad news is that it's still just enough to cover
>> inflation. Sorry, no La Fin du Monde this month, either.
>
> Can we at least get some Bacardi rum? Not fond of beer, except the
> virtual kind, but
> I do enjoy rum & Coke. Virtual, RL, either way.
>
>> See you all very shortly, as this month's nominations will come out ASAP
>> and then the July election will be held in a few days. Until then, hail
>> Fluffy and may Bob have mercy on your souls!
>
> Hey, we(tinw) need a noms update...
>
>> And now, a special recessional in honor of this month's big w(h)inner,
>> Jamie "Lamie" Baillie!
>>
>> Sara Ramierez performing "Find Your Grail" at the 2005 Tony Awards
>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3yRlnSgu-bY
>
> Re-sending because it didn't go to the intended groups -- Wentzky and
> Maxwell must be notified at once! Plus, I had some comments for RADW.
>
> Snarky
Behold behold the glory of the Wereo Everyone. I am the only One who
matters.

[Bertie the Bunyip[_25_]]

Maxie!

you won!

Well done. It couldn't have been easy knocking the mighty Jamie off his
pedastal!


The Demon of Mockery > wrote in news:7a3e27e8-fc8d-
:

> Hail Eris! Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler wrote:
>> "20th Century Fox Fanfare"
>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z54ynmUPZ5c
>>
>> The time has come to announce the winners of the June 2008 Usenet
>> Kook Awards. Envelopes, please!
>>
>> BOBO AWARD
>>
>> The winner is...SCOTT "WEREO" LIFSHINE!
>>
>> Scott "Wereo" Lifshine
>>
>> 21 votes YES
>> 01 votes NO
>>
>> Congratulations, Wereo! For not only exposing your kookery in a
court
>> of law, but consenting to have your small claim case televised, you
have
>> shown that your kookery knows no bounds when it comes to publicity.
>> Furthermore, the televising of your time before the bench and the
>> archiving of that incident on YouTube means that you have now
achieved
>> the bare minimum for the "global humiliation" standard for this most
>> esteemed award that alt.usenet.kooks gives out for lifetime
achievement
>> in kookery.
>>
>> We (TINW) now present, for your viewing pleasure, the only man that
>> matters on USENET--WEREO!
>
> AWL HALE TEH NUKULAR WARRIOR!
>
>> http://youtube.com/watch?v=l7Gac3AthnY
>>
>> KOOK OF THE MONTH
>>
>> The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
>>
>> 22 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
>> 06 votes Anthony X AKA "Sir Tony Baloney"
>> 02 votes Alan Connor posting as "Tom Newton,"
>> 01 votes None of the above
>>
>> Congratulations, Lamie! The "tard"iness of this report is at least
>> partially due to you, not only because of your being USENET's
notorious
>> spamtard, but because the FNVW spent two weeks racking racking his
brain
>> trying to think of 13 unique things to say about you. That, along
with
>> the original report being lost when the FNVW's outbox became
corrupted,
>> contributed to this report coming out two weeks late. Fluffy was not
>> pleased, and neither was I.
>
> I think it's safe to say the entire Imperial Court was generally
> cheesed off, Mr. Baillie.
>
>> What, you thought you were going to sit down? Hardly. You're "Not
>> Dead Yet" for there are 12 more awards with your name on them, so
stand
>> right here.
>>
>> "Not Dead Yet" from Spamalot
>> http://youtube.com/watch?v=vBz_WS6CdWc
>
> Absolutely made of sheer awesome.
>
>> CLUELESS NEWBIE OF THE MONTH
>>
>> The winner is...MAXWELL!
>>
>> 10 votes Maxwell
>> 08 votes Patriot Games
>> 00 votes Neither of the above
>>
>> Congratulations, Maxwell! Your lits o' haet including many different
>> people as "sockpuppets of Bertie" and your inability to distinguish
>> between fr0gging and forging, along with your continued whining and
>> utter inability to deal with a notorious troll (and Bertie is
notorious,
>> especially in New Zealand!), earned you this award over someone who
>> cried "censorship" when he couldn't see his own articles because of
>> propagation issues. See you in January, when you'll be on the ballot
>> for Clueless Newbie of the Year!
>
> Oh well, at least it was close.
>
>> COWARD OF THE MONTH
>>
>> The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
>>
>> 20 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
>> 04 votes Is Ken Darian
>> 04 votes Raymond Karczewski
>> 01 votes None of the above
>>
>> Congratulations a second time, Spamtard! Your persistent legal
threats,
>> bogus DMCA takedowns, attempts to get others to do your dirty work,
and
>> running away from tough questions won you this prize. Now, watch
your
>> role model, Brave Sir Robin, and learn some style points from him.
>
> Fat, ugly, stupid, cowardly, and k00ky, Lamie: Which three of these do
> you think the ladies care about more? Of those three, which of them is
> the most likely to earn you scorn from any woman with a pulse? BTW,
> congratulations on beating both a legendarily cowardly k00k and a
> promising upstart.
>
>> "Brave Sir Robin" from Spamalot
>> http://youtube.com/watch?v=AShveV6I_EA
>>
>> LOONEY MAROON AWARD
>>
>> The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
>>
>> 22 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
>> 09 votes Brad Guth
>> 01 votes Neither of the above
>>
>> Congratulations a third time, Lamie! My policy is to only allow
someone
>> to run for both Kook of the Month and Looney Maroon on the same
ballot
>> if they are an exceptionally strong candidate and are also
exceptionally
>> looney. Your sweeping of all 13 categories for which you were
nominated
>> this month confirmed the wisdom of allowing you to contest both
awards.
>> The Knights of the Round Table from Spamalot would be proud of you.
>
> I haven't seen such sheer and unmitigated looniness outside of RADW in
> many years, and even then, only in overall quality of froth --
> Agamemnon can't be bothered with reporting anyone since that would
> detract from the attention paid to him, and Yads has his own schtick.
>
>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBR_HsCfNxo
>>
>> GOLDEN KILLFILE
>>
>> The winner is...GREGVK!
>>
>> 16 votes gregvk
>> 09 votes The Mark Morgan Fan Club of rec.radio.amateur.policy
>> 01 votes Neither of the above
>>
>> Congratulations, gregvk/jitter/malscribe/purpurroterwald! Flaming
>> someone by wishing them ovarian cancer, among other lamery, has
earned
>> you this distinction of being worthy of being ignored by everyone on
>> USENET.
>
> And he is so very worthy.
>
>> JOSEPH BARTLO MEMORIAL PATHETIC ANAL PINEAPPLE AWARD
>>
>> The winner is...GREGVK!
>>
>> 19 votes gregvk
>> 09 votes Abbedd of rec.music.classical.recordings
>> 00 votes Neither of the above
>>
>> Congratulations, again, Greggie poo! Your schtick may go over really
>> well on Something Awful, 4Chan, or Encyclopedia Dramatica, but on
AUK,
>> it's merely pathetic. In fact, it's so pathetic that you will
>> eventually be thrown into the Galactic Killfile for it. When that
will
>> happen is for me to know, and for you not to find out.
>
> On the bright side, he x-no-archives, so much of his **** will be
> entirely forgotten by
> Google, and the rest of it will stand as a testament to his obsession
> with showing up
> AUK's brand of kookology as an outdated, politically correct dinosaur
> with no
> relevance to the "real" thing (q.v. innumerable (Literally!) posts
> about the awards
> only mattering to a small number of people). Well, if what he calls
> "kookology" is the
> current state of the art, I would be proud to have him call me a kook,
> since he has
> also described every single one of my colleagues in more-or-less
> similar terms. Puts
> me in the right company, to my mind.
>
>> PALMJOB PADDLE
>>
>> The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
>>
>> 22 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
>> 07 votes Raymond Karczewski
>> 02 votes dvus
>> 00 votes None of the above
>>
>> Congratulations, again, Spanktard! This is your first repeat win of
an
>> AUK award, fittingly, for being completely spanked by NANAE and
whoever
>> on AUK was also participating. Now, make like King Arthur and the
>> Knights of the Round Table and "RUN AWAY!"
>
> Alas, poor dvus, he never stood a chance against the great self-
> spanker of NANAE.
> Or, for that matter, Kazoo. Ah, well.
>
>> "Run Away" from Spamalot
>> http://youtube.com/watch?v=GA7IDKWoz2o
>>
>> TONY SIDAWAY DRAMA QUEEN AWARD
>>
>> The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
>>
>> 21 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
>> 08 votes Raymond Karczewski
>> 01 votes Babaloonie
>> 00 votes Neither of the above
>>
>> Congratulations, Dramatard! Ridiculous ranting? Check. Unprovoked
>> meltdowns? Check. Operatic flouncing? Check. Threatening to leave
>> USENET forever, preferably several times a week? We (TINW) could
only
>> hope. In the meantime, here is another role model of yours; she
might
>> teach you something.
>
> <sets about preparing a suitable crown for Lamie>
>
>> "Diva's Lament (What Ever Happened to My Part?)" from Spamalot
>> http://youtube.com/watch?v=u9VMImm_61Y
>>
>> VICTOR VON FRANKENSTEIN WEIRD SCIENCE AWARD
>>
>> The winner is..."PHOTON DEGRADATION' BY DOUBLE-A!
>>
>> "Photon Degradation" by Double-A
>>
>> 20 votes YES
>> 00 votes NO
>>
>> Congratulations, Double-A! It looks like all the weird science
thrown
>> around alt.astronomy has finally infiltrated your consciousness. It
was
>> only a matter of time.
>
> "Tired light." Hee-hee!
>
>> DOUGLAS GRANT MEDAL FOR HISTORICAL REVISIONISM
>>
>> The winner is...JOHN WENTZKY!
>>
>> 12 votes "Confederate Flag revisionism" by John Wentzky
>> 09 votes "Protocols of the Elders of Zion" by Bloxy/Nukleus
>> 01 votes Neither of the above
>>
>> Congratulations, John-Boy! Your original revisionism about the
>> Confederate States of America eked out a win over the repeated
>> reprinting of the most notorious piece of bogus revisionist history,
to
>> say nothing of the mother of all conspiracy theories (the grandmother
>> being anything involving the Knights Templar), still extant. All
that
>> was missing was the cry of "The South Shall Rise Again!" Yes, it
will,
>> but not because of revisionists like you.
>
> Well, technically, the "Elders of Zion" are linked to the Bavarian
> Illuminati, who are said
> to be inheritors of the tradition of the Templars -- therefore,
> Wentzky did indeed
> beat out the grandmother of all conspiracy theories...Kind of.
>
>> GEORGE PICKETT MEMORIAL TROPHY
>>
>> The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
>>
>> 26 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
>> 02 votes Alan Connor posting as "Tom Newton"
>> 00 votes Neither of the above
>>
>> Further congratulations to you, Lamie! Your multiple crusades, but
>> especially your campaign against aioe, have attracted the attention
of
>> NANAE and AUK and earned you this award. Did you get that aioe user
>> banned? No? You did, however, give the admin of aioe an opportunity
to
>> show that he has balls and integrity, which is one of the reasons
that
>> I'm now accepting ballots from that site, when a few months ago, I
>> shredded them on sight. That's a "victory" just like The Black
>> Knight's!
>
> You gotta sever the head. It only counts if you have a severed head to
> hold up...
> Incidentally, I'd like to suggest that Lamie be awarded Wollmann's own
> heretofore-unique
> award (for, I believe, much the same sort of k00kery) -- the one to
> which you just
> referred.;-{P}
>
>> The Black Knight from Spamalot.
>> http://youtube.com/watch?v=k2jYtRTEaNI
>>
>> SPECIAL OPS CODY MEMORIAL PURPLE HEART
>>
>> The winner is...THE RAMD ASSWIPE BRIGADE!
>>
>> 12 votes The RAMD Asswipe Brigade
>> 09 votes Dr. Andrew B. Chung
>> 00 votes Neither of the above
>>
>> Congratulations, Post-Show Parking Lot Brawlers! Your continued
>> attempts to "plonk the filth" didn't chase any outsiders away from
your
>> home froup. Instead, it got you cascade after cascade mocking your
>> efforts. Oh, your work also got you a victory over a big-name kook--
the
>> biggest award winner of the past three years, in fact. That's quite
the
>> accomplishment (1993 Star of Indiana golf clap for all of you).
>
> <considerately adjusts the froup line>
>
>> TAR & FEATHERS
>>
>> The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
>>
>> 22 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
>> 06 votes Ed Conrad
>> 01 votes Neither of the above
>>
>> Sincere congratulations to you for this one, Spamtard. Not only did
you
>> have to prove that you had cleared the high bar of being a
"terminally
>> clueless crusader" that everyone in your home group would like to see
>> run out of town on a rail, you handily defeated, in his third attempt
at
>> this award, one of the few people I know who really was run out of a
>> USENET group on a rail, Ed "Coalbrain" Conrad, whose kookery is even
>> more legendary than yours.
>
> Lamie will be a hard act for Yads to follow. But he's trying! He gets
> the Big, Scary
> Headers just right, and consistently mis-identifies the progenitors
> (or *progenitor*,
> as the case may be) of the relevant posts as moi. Posting entire web
> pages
> (apparently, radical Islamic ones) and identifying them as belonging
> to his personal usenet
> enemies is further evidence of his future eligibility for this fine
> recognition of lifetime achievement in net.cluelessness. Also, take
> note:
> http://www.fortunecity.com/tatooine/forbidden/392/adrics/adrics.html
>
> The Dave Yadallee Award for Net.Cluelessness: Dave Yadallee (four
> times, from
> 1994-2003). I'm predicting a landslide victory for Teh Yads as CNOTM.
> Sorry, but I can find no
> record of any awards after 2003 (and as I recall, Yads was a
> disastrous choice for
> host in a later year, but damfiremember which -- he should get an
> honorary DYANC
> for that one, but it'd be redundant). If any radwers can point me at
> the correct site
> (for the more recent awards), that would be most appreciated.
>
>> BUSTED URINAL AWARD
>>
>> The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
>>
>> 13 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
>> 12 votes gregvk
>> 07 votes Abbedd of rec.music.classical.recordings
>> 02 votes None of the above
>> 00 votes Is Ken Darien
>>
>> Congratulations yet again! It's only appropriate that someone whose
>> most common nickname is "Lamie" should win the award for "the lamest
of
>> the lame on USENET." Yes, Jamie, that's you.
>
> Then it's even more fitting that someone who may well have caused a
> first- or
> second-wave meower to originate the saying, "AWL HALE TEH MITY POAST
> COUNT!"
> should follow him on the July ballot. Mind you, Patriot Games has had
> an output of
> roughly 69,000 posts in the past year or so, as well. Yads vs Milby
> should be *epic*.
>
>> UNABOMBER SURPRISE
>>
>> The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
>>
>> Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
>>
>> 25 votes YES
>> 03 votes NO
>>
>> Congratulations, Spamtard! Your eye-glazing screeds that you call
>> "abuse reports" really do say the least possible with the most text.
>
> Yads attempts to do the very opposite, on a post-by-post basis, but he
> replies to
> practically everything, regardless of whether he has an intelligible
> comment to add,
> so the cumulative effect of reading his posts is much the same as
> reading any one
> of Baillie's. Even moreso, when he poasts headers or webpages.
>
>> BOLO BULLIS FOAM DUCK
>>
>> The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
>>
>> 15 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
>> 14 votes Bobbi Sanchez AKA Lady Veteran
>> 00 votes Neither of the above
>>
>> Congratulations Lamie! Of course, you had an unfair advantage with
this
>> award. The criterion is that you had to demonstrate that you lost
more
>> marbles than a Chinese Checker factory. Well, there is some doubt
you
>> ever had those marbles in the first place!
>
> I foresee a possibility that, one day, Yads and Aggie will both be
> nominated for this
> most auspicious award in the same month. I predict a tie, in such a
> case.
>
>> BALSA GAVEL
>>
>> The winner is...SCOTT "WEREO" LIFSHINE!
>>
>> Scott "Wereo" Lifshine
>>
>> 21 votes YES
>> 00 votes NO
>>
>> Congratulations, again, Mr. Lifshine! For suing someone that you met
>> over the Internet about your pet kooky project, you have managed to
earn
>> not only the highest honor AUK gives out for kookery, but one of the
>> rarest awards AUK gives out. After all, it's a special breed who
>> actually sues over someone thwarting their USENET obsession.
>
> GO WEREO GO!
>
>> BARBARA WOODHOUSE MEMORIAL DOG-WHISTLE AWARD
>>
>> The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE, TRAINED BY GARY BURNORE!
>>
>> 21 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie, trained by Gary Burnore.
>> 05 votes Maxwell, trained by Bertie the Bunyip
>> 00 votes Neither of the above
>>
>> Congratulations, Gary, for your training of Lamie! This makes two
>> kooks, Dimmy and now Lamie, that are at your beck and call. They
>> certainly make for a wonderfully loony matched set!
>
> And they'll even snarl at each other!
>
>> PIERRE SALINGER MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER
>>
>> The winner is..."WE NEED A NEW FNVW"!
>>
>> "We need a new FNVW" by Pope Snarky, Pinku-Sensei, and Art Deco
>>
>> 16 votes YES
>> 04 votes NO
>>
>> Congratulations, Snarky and Art! You two did a wonderful job of
making
>> lemonade out of lemons and then getting the kooks and kookologists to
>> drink it!
>
> <curtsy> Conga-rats yerself on adding another Salinger to your
> record...
>
>> OFFICE OF DARTH BAWL
>>
>> The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
>>
>> 16 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
>> 09 votes Bobbi Sanchez AKA Lady Veteran
>> 05 votes Brad Guth
>>
>> Congratulations, Dramatard! By winning this office, you not only
beat
>> out another notorious whiner, but you made yourself eligible for yet
>> another annual award--The Bardley Annual Whining Baby New Year--to go
>> along with Rookie Kook of the Year, Kook of the Year, and Coward of
the
>> Year. If you have a website, you would also be eligible for the
>> kooksite of the year award, too.
>
> Well, allegedly he does, but it ain't loadin'. <tries again> Nope.
>
>> OFFICE OF VILLAGE IDIOT
>>
>> The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE!
>>
>> 26 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie
>> 04 votes Charles Lysaght
>>
>> Congratulations for the final time this month, Lamie! You handily
>> defeated one of the most notoriously and entertainingly idiotic
posters
>> to USENET, the infamous Chuckles Lysaght, capping off an election in
>> which you have probably won more awards in a single month than any
other
>> kook in AUK history. While some might decry this as piling on, your
>> history of kookery and idiocy on the Internet goes back 15 years, so
a
>> good case can be made that this is merely catching up for lost time.
>> Besides, you can look on the bright side--there are still more awards
>> you can win!
>
> I think he might have beaten out Teh Monkey -- I don't remember how
> the latter
> won his awards anymore...
>
>> "Always Look at the Bright Side of Life" from Spamalot
>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qukfTiqyR8
>>
>> KOOKI INFORMATION MINISTER
>>
>> The winner is...ALEXA CAMERON!
>>
>> 15 votes Alexa Cameron
>> 07 votes John Wentzky
>>
>> Cpngratulations, Alexa! You handily defeated this month's winner of
the
>> Doogie Rant Medal for Historical Revisionism to held on to your
office
>> for spreading misinformation. Your reputation for misinformation is
now
>> legend.
>
> That _is_ an astonishing feat.
>
>> MINISTRY OF CIRCLE JERKS
>>
>> The winner is...BIG-8 MANAGEMENT BOARD!
>>
>> 11 votes Big-8 Management Board
>> 08 votes The Mark Morgan Fan Club of rec.radio.amateur.policy
>> 07 votes The Gun Nutz of misc.survivalism and talk.politics.guns
>> 02 votes Nazicowards of soc.culture.israel
>>
>> Congratulations, B8MBies! You have finally beaten out the
Saucerheads
>> of alt.astronomy as the contingent who have occupied this office the
>> most times. So, are you going to push for term limits?
>
> Close race!
>
>> OFFICE OF ILLUCIDUS MAXIMUS
>>
>> The winner is...Jeff Relf!
>>
>> 11 votes Jeff Relf
>> 10 votes John Wentzky
>>
>> Congratulations, Glyph-boi! Your computer-assisted illucidity beat
out
>> someone who is naturally incoherent.
>
> Even closer...
>
>> This concludes the announcement of the winners of the June 2008
Usenet
>> Kook Awards. Thirty-nine entities submitted thirty-nine ballots.
One
>> of these was from someone whose participation might actually please
>> Fluffy, but who voted for previous winners, not candidates currently
on
>> the ballot. Another was a forgery that, worse yet, voted for the
person
>> being forged. A repeat performance will result in the forger being
>> disenfranchised. Both ballots where shredded and added to Fluffy's
>> Litter Box. The good news is that the money that would have been
spent
>> on cat litter this month has again been redirected to the the COO
Beer
>> Cooler (TINCOOBC). The bad news is that it's still just enough to
cover
>> inflation. Sorry, no La Fin du Monde this month, either.
>
> Can we at least get some Bacardi rum? Not fond of beer, except the
> virtual kind, but
> I do enjoy rum & Coke. Virtual, RL, either way.
>
>> See you all very shortly, as this month's nominations will come out
ASAP
>> and then the July election will be held in a few days. Until then,
hail
>> Fluffy and may Bob have mercy on your souls!
>
> Hey, we(tinw) need a noms update...
>
>> And now, a special recessional in honor of this month's big w(h)
inner,
>> Jamie "Lamie" Baillie!
>>
>> Sara Ramierez performing "Find Your Grail" at the 2005 Tony Awards
>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3yRlnSgu-bY
>
> Re-sending because it didn't go to the intended groups -- Wentzky and
> Maxwell must be notified at once! Plus, I had some comments for RADW.
>
> Snarky
>

[[email protected]]

On 27 Jul, 11:03, The Demon of Mockery > wrote:
> Hail Eris! Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler wrote:
>
> > "20th Century Fox Fanfare"
> >http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z54ynmUPZ5c
>
> > The time has come to announce the winners of the June 2008 Usenet
> > Kook Awards. *Envelopes, please!
>
> > BOBO AWARD
>
> > The winner is...SCOTT "WEREO" LIFSHINE!
>
> > Scott "Wereo" Lifshine
>
> > *21 votes YES
> > *01 votes NO
>
> > Congratulations, Wereo! *For not only exposing your kookery in a court
> > of law, but consenting to have your small claim case televised, you have
> > shown that your kookery knows no bounds when it comes to publicity.
> > Furthermore, the televising of your time before the bench and the
> > archiving of that incident on YouTube means that you have now achieved
> > the bare minimum for the "global humiliation" standard for this most
> > esteemed award that alt.usenet.kooks gives out for lifetime achievement
> > in kookery.

Anyone want to give the lowdown on this (or the Youtube link)?

> > VICTOR VON FRANKENSTEIN WEIRD SCIENCE AWARD
>
> > The winner is..."PHOTON DEGRADATION' BY DOUBLE-A!
>
> > *"Photon Degradation" by Double-A
>
> > *20 votes YES
> > *00 votes NO
>
> > Congratulations, Double-A! *It looks like all the weird science thrown
> > around alt.astronomy has finally infiltrated your consciousness. *It was
> > only a matter of time.
>
> "Tired light." Hee-hee!

? Sounds worse than Aggy - where's this to be found? And don't say
alt.astronomy...

> > DOUGLAS GRANT MEDAL FOR HISTORICAL REVISIONISM
>
> > The winner is...JOHN WENTZKY!
>
> > *12 votes "Confederate Flag revisionism" by John Wentzky
> > *09 votes "Protocols of the Elders of Zion" by Bloxy/Nukleus
> > *01 votes Neither of the above
>
> > Congratulations, John-Boy! *Your original revisionism about the
> > Confederate States of America eked out a win over the repeated
> > reprinting of the most notorious piece of bogus revisionist history, to
> > say nothing of the mother of all conspiracy theories (the grandmother
> > being anything involving the Knights Templar), still extant. *All that
> > was missing was the cry of "The South Shall Rise Again!" * Yes, it will,
> > but not because of revisionists like you.

I'd give this one a look too. You really should provide links to the
background of these things for the benefit of interested (read: bored)
bystanders.

Phil

[[email protected]]

On 27 Jul, 23:09, The Black Goat With A Thousand Young
> wrote:
> On Sun, 27 Jul 2008 11:01:57 -0700, pbowles fixed me with a beady
> eye, and foamed wildly:
>
>
>
>
>
> > On 27 Jul, 11:03, The Demon of Mockery wrote:
> >> Hail Eris! Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler wrote:
>
> >> > "20th Century Fox Fanfare"
> >> >http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z54ynmUPZ5c
>
> >> > The time has come to announce the winners of the June 2008 Usenet
> >> > Kook Awards. *Envelopes, please!
>
> >> > BOBO AWARD
>
> >> > The winner is...SCOTT "WEREO" LIFSHINE!
>
> >> > Scott "Wereo" Lifshine
>
> >> > *21 votes YES
> >> > *01 votes NO
>
> >> > Congratulations, Wereo! *For not only exposing your kookery in a
> >> > court of law, but consenting to have your small claim case televised,
> >> > you have shown that your kookery knows no bounds when it comes to
> >> > publicity. Furthermore, the televising of your time before the bench
> >> > and the archiving of that incident on YouTube means that you have now
> >> > achieved the bare minimum for the "global humiliation" standard for
> >> > this most esteemed award that alt.usenet.kooks gives out for lifetime
> >> > achievement in kookery.
>
> > Anyone want to give the lowdown on this (or the Youtube link)?
>
> Hang on...Weird, I don't know how it vanished -- might've been a victim of
> trimming, in which case, go find the nearest wall for a little head-bounce.
>
> http://youtube.com/watch?v=l7Gac3AthnY

"Do I have a million dollars yet, or do I have to get a job?" Hehe.
However, are you sure this fellow's for real (and was that trial for
real - televised trials are one thing, but this looked as though it
was lifted straight from a Jerry Springer-style talk show) - he was
smirking a lot as he insisted he was the world's best film producer
etc,

> >> > VICTOR VON FRANKENSTEIN WEIRD SCIENCE AWARD
>
> >> > The winner is..."PHOTON DEGRADATION' BY DOUBLE-A!
>
> >> > *"Photon Degradation" by Double-A
>
> >> > *20 votes YES
> >> > *00 votes NO
>
> >> > Congratulations, Double-A! *It looks like all the weird science
> >> > thrown around alt.astronomy has finally infiltrated your
> >> > consciousness. *It was only a matter of time.
>
> >> "Tired light." Hee-hee!
>
> > ? Sounds worse than Aggy - where's this to be found? And don't say
> > alt.astronomy...
>
> That's the only place of which I am aware.

I meant, be more specific.

> >> > DOUGLAS GRANT MEDAL FOR HISTORICAL REVISIONISM
>
> >> > The winner is...JOHN WENTZKY!
>
> >> > *12 votes "Confederate Flag revisionism" by John Wentzky *09 votes
> >> > "Protocols of the Elders of Zion" by Bloxy/Nukleus *01 votes Neither
> >> > of the above
>
> >> > Congratulations, John-Boy! *Your original revisionism about the
> >> > Confederate States of America eked out a win over the repeated
> >> > reprinting of the most notorious piece of bogus revisionist history,
> >> > to say nothing of the mother of all conspiracy theories (the
> >> > grandmother being anything involving the Knights Templar), still
> >> > extant. *All that was missing was the cry of "The South Shall Rise
> >> > Again!" * Yes, it will, but not because of revisionists like you.
>
> > I'd give this one a look too. You really should provide links to the
> > background of these things for the benefit of interested (read: bored)
> > bystanders.
>
> That one was alt.abortion. In this .sig, you will find several quotes
> from Teh Wentzky, including one from the discussion which led to the
> nomination (that'd be the meltdown). He's already won KOTM, but it's
> quite likely that he'll win Looney Maroon a number of times before he's
> incarcerated for assault, and wins his own Bobo. Incidentally, Bob
> Officer has a far more complete archive of Wentzkyisms, and I can assure
> you they're all hilarious -- I first encountered him in 2001 or 2002,
> thereabouts, and raised quite a lot of foam.

From his meltdown he seems more rabidly hateful than entertaining -
the best bit about Aggy's prejudices is his bizarre efforts to
rationalise them (have you run across him trying to cite Plato in
support of his views on homosexuality yet?) Not at all sure what that
red candy stuff was about.

I did like "This case had no effect on my life, except to affect it
adversely", though.

Phil

[Cardinal Snarky of the Fannish Inquisition]

On Sun, 27 Jul 2008 23:17:59 -0700, sat in thee Comfee
Chaire, and didst finally confess, after taking Muche Tea:
> On 27 Jul, 23:09, The Black Goat With A Thousand Young wrote:
>> On Sun, 27 Jul 2008 11:01:57 -0700, pbowles fixed me with a beady eye,
>> and foamed wildly:
>> > On 27 Jul, 11:03, The Demon of Mockery wrote:
>> >> Hail Eris! Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler wrote:
>>
>> >> > "20th Century Fox Fanfare"
>> >> >http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z54ynmUPZ5c
>>
>> >> > The time has come to announce the winners of the June 2008 Usenet
>> >> > Kook Awards. *Envelopes, please!
>>
>> >> > BOBO AWARD
>>
>> >> > The winner is...SCOTT "WEREO" LIFSHINE!
>>
>> >> > Scott "Wereo" Lifshine
>>
>> >> > *21 votes YES
>> >> > *01 votes NO
>>
>> >> > Congratulations, Wereo! *For not only exposing your kookery in a
>> >> > court of law, but consenting to have your small claim case
>> >> > televised, you have shown that your kookery knows no bounds when
>> >> > it comes to publicity. Furthermore, the televising of your time
>> >> > before the bench and the archiving of that incident on YouTube
>> >> > means that you have now achieved the bare minimum for the "global
>> >> > humiliation" standard for this most esteemed award that
>> >> > alt.usenet.kooks gives out for lifetime achievement in kookery.
>>
>> > Anyone want to give the lowdown on this (or the Youtube link)?
>>
>> Hang on...Weird, I don't know how it vanished -- might've been a victim
>> of trimming, in which case, go find the nearest wall for a little
>> head-bounce.
>>
>> http://youtube.com/watch?v=l7Gac3AthnY
>
> "Do I have a million dollars yet, or do I have to get a job?" Hehe.
> However, are you sure this fellow's for real (and was that trial for
> real - televised trials are one thing, but this looked as though it was
> lifted straight from a Jerry Springer-style talk show) - he was smirking
> a lot as he insisted he was the world's best film producer etc,

That's how he's presented himself on usenet for the past decade or more --
the only poster that matters. If he's not for real, then he's damned
determined to convince people that he is.

>> >> > VICTOR VON FRANKENSTEIN WEIRD SCIENCE AWARD
>>
>> >> > The winner is..."PHOTON DEGRADATION' BY DOUBLE-A!
>>
>> >> > *"Photon Degradation" by Double-A
>>
>> >> > *20 votes YES
>> >> > *00 votes NO
>>
>> >> > Congratulations, Double-A! *It looks like all the weird science
>> >> > thrown around alt.astronomy has finally infiltrated your
>> >> > consciousness. *It was only a matter of time.
>>
>> >> "Tired light." Hee-hee!
>>
>> > ? Sounds worse than Aggy - where's this to be found? And don't say
>> > alt.astronomy...
>>
>> That's the only place of which I am aware.
>
> I meant, be more specific.

Heh, I would, but alt.astronomy is SO not my territory. However, Art Deco
is the Official Overseer of Kooks & Trolls in adota, and he can tell you
all about Double-A(nus), nightbat, Warhol, and the Kook Ship Darla-Pop
(Darla being, possibly, a kibologist trolling the crap out of the
saucerheads, or maybe just a delusional schizophrenic -- allegedly,
though, a beautiful alien captain who will come take away those
saucerheads who believe, one day). Not my territory, but their overseer
has been most diligent in sorting out the frothiest threads for the
entertainment of the imperial court. I've missed a lot of fine detail,
that's all.

>> >> > DOUGLAS GRANT MEDAL FOR HISTORICAL REVISIONISM
>>
>> >> > The winner is...JOHN WENTZKY!
>>
>> >> > *12 votes "Confederate Flag revisionism" by John Wentzky *09
>> >> > votes "Protocols of the Elders of Zion" by Bloxy/Nukleus *01 votes
>> >> > Neither of the above
>>
>> >> > Congratulations, John-Boy! *Your original revisionism about the
>> >> > Confederate States of America eked out a win over the repeated
>> >> > reprinting of the most notorious piece of bogus revisionist
>> >> > history, to say nothing of the mother of all conspiracy theories
>> >> > (the grandmother being anything involving the Knights Templar),
>> >> > still extant. *All that was missing was the cry of "The South
>> >> > Shall Rise Again!" * Yes, it will, but not because of revisionists
>> >> > like you.
>>
>> > I'd give this one a look too. You really should provide links to the
>> > background of these things for the benefit of interested (read: bored)
>> > bystanders.
>>
>> That one was alt.abortion. In this .sig, you will find several quotes
>> from Teh Wentzky, including one from the discussion which led to the
>> nomination (that'd be the meltdown). He's already won KOTM, but it's
>> quite likely that he'll win Looney Maroon a number of times before he's
>> incarcerated for assault, and wins his own Bobo. Incidentally, Bob
>> Officer has a far more complete archive of Wentzkyisms, and I can assure
>> you they're all hilarious -- I first encountered him in 2001 or 2002,
>> thereabouts, and raised quite a lot of foam.
>
> From his meltdown he seems more rabidly hateful than entertaining - the
> best bit about Aggy's prejudices is his bizarre efforts to rationalise
> them (have you run across him trying to cite Plato in support of his views
> on homosexuality yet?) Not at all sure what that red candy stuff was
> about.

AFAIK, no one else on Earth besides him has any clue what the significance
of licking the red off candy might be, or how it might be done, for that
matter. But I'll tell you now, Will Ferrell could not improvise such sheer
comic insanity, and Douglas Adams could not have invented it. OK, wouldn't
have, either, but only because of the racism and homophobia.

> I did like "This case had no effect on my life, except to affect it
> adversely", though.

Well, "Roe vs Wade has zero bearing on my existence", but yeah, that's an
old classic. See this .sig's bottom for another bizarre rant.

--
__________________________________________________ ______________________
Hail Eris! Usenet Ruiner #5; Most Hated Usenetizen of All Time #13
Demon Prince of Absurdity; COOSN-029-06-71069; Official Chung Demon
Top Asshole #3; Lits Slut #16; AUK Psycho & Felon #21
Gutter Chix0r #17; BowTie's Spuriously Accused Pedo Photographer #4
Parrot & Zombie #2; Anonymous Psycho Criminal #18
"Lola Stonewall Riot" is not part of my email addy.
"If I were a Deep One...blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub,
bloody, bloody, blub..."
"For those of you without hope, we have rooms with color TV, cable and
air conditioning"

Barbara Woodhouse Memorial Dog Whistle
Trainer of PorchMonkey4Life
http://www.screedbomb.info/porchie/

"Oftentimes people ask me, 'Why is it that you're so focused on helping
the hungry and diseased in strange parts of the world?'" --George W.
Bush, Washington, D.C., April 18, 2008

Things We(TINW) Didn't Need To Know About Icebreaker, #5:
"I expose myself all the time" Message-ID:
>

"Hey Theophan, I need your help again. Will you please come assist me
again? aggreen is after me again. He has been after me for a year and
counting now. I want you to destroy his character for me. I can't do
it." -- Olympiada: Not too proud to beg for help when it comes to
character assassination, and Mistress of the Bleeding Obvious.
MID: >

"I think we have taken care of the net.KKKopping in alt.gothic. Could
all the kookologists trim alt.gothic from their headers and leave us
alone now? It has gone on long enough. I can take care of myself in there
from here on out. Thanks. I know how to fight off trolls now. Thank you
for the education." -- Olympiada thinks she's had an education, and that
means it's time for those nice kookologists to go away and leave her
sandbox alone now, in MID: >

"Who booby-traps a dead end? That's just not right." -- Cordelia

>> Are you the Peter J Ross that I've heard so much about?
>
> Probably. I'm the one who doesn't resort to forgery after losing an
> argument.

"You're the one with the extensive brain damage... okay I see. You're
gonna be easily to own them." -- PorchMonkey4Life: Not aware of too many
things. MID: <bf7xh.834$hH2.64@trnddc02>

At last! See Joxer The Mity Monkey on camera! Watch him freak out!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_WuaENGqz0

"You're just mad that you got tard stomped again fagg0t. You throw
something incredibly lame out there and I ramming it right back down
your throat. And you wonder how I just did what I did to you. You wonder
how I can make something so lame that you tossed out there so gosh darn
amusing when I fling it back at ya.

"Here's the secret: Unlike you, I am *not* retarded. You're tardness
gets in your way every single time, fagboi.

"Are you still crying over your keyboard, c0ckslurper? Is your mouth
wide open and drool falling out. Is your chunky body convulsing as you
think about how you were once again made a fool of? Are yellow boogie
snots running out of your unnaturally large nose down your triple chins?

"Look at what I reduced you too, tard.. I thoroughly enjoy owning and
abusing you.. Thanks for being so tarded and so easy to beat." -- The
PorchMonkey4Life has gone on to re-define red as yellow, black as white,
and being run over by a truck as just a scratch. Message-ID:
<kX3Nh.525$vI1.380@trnddc02>

"And no, I did not have sex with my son. But if I did I certainly
wouldn't tell you. Something so beautiful and precious should be kept
private." -- Kathy L. Mosesian, or possibly not really her, confesses
she may be a liar and committer of incest with her own son, in MID:
mailer.net>

The reporter asked Colin Powell (or George Bush), "What proof do you
have that Iraq has weapons of mass destruction?"
He replied, "We kept the receipts." -- Bill Hicks

Looney Maroon nominee for August 2006 Johnny D Wentzky foamed:
"You never asked someone who goes into areas of the internet that are
only for adults who has an underage id somehow or another if they are a
cop posing as an underage person online?
I guess lots of people just don't watch dateline or read stories much.
Why don;t you go to pervertedjustice,com and see what they do. They are
awash in their self-proclaimed glory after they lied to membners of the
public.
They are awash in their self-proclaimed glory after they posed as an
underage person and agreed to do all sorts of sex acts wioth adult
males, and they are adults posing as teenager themselves. They make
themsleves into liars by falsely impersonating underage persons and by
not fuilfilling the words they tell the victims online in their chats.
Why don't you read it where they tell these victims of their deceit
about how they have been with grown men and such? Why don't you read it
where they say, "That would be cool." after someone makes an advance
towards an adult who is posing as a teenager? And, where they agree to
meet the person, etc.
Lost control, didn't you?
Is that why you feel as if you need to lie so much now? I see where lots
of these false impersonation games are not sticking. They feel as if
they can lie and then order the victims to get counseling in the
gayblade, governmental, pro-choice tax leech counseling centers. They
are doing nothing more than usury and fraud in many cases." -- Wentzky
almost comes out of the closet as a pedo/ephebophile in MID:
>

To Whom It May Concern: Michael J. Cranston attorney kook is a dog****er