this is what thay want the world to be like!

Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your..."

Customer: "Hi, I'd like to order."

Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?"

Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's
6102049998-45-54610."

Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive,
and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln
Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Which number are you
calling from, sir?"

Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"

Operator: "We're wired into the system, sir."

Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat
Special pizzas..."

Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."

Customer: "Whaddya mean?"

Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very high
blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care
provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."

Customer: "Dang . What do you recommend, then?"

Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Yogurt Pizza. I'm sure you'll
like it."

Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"

Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local
library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."

Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then. What's
the damage?"

Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, sir.
The 'damage,' as you put it, heh, heh, comes to $49.99."

Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your
credit card balance is over its limit."

Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver
gets here."

Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn."

Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How
long will it take?

Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes,
sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're out
getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little
awkward."

Customer: "How the heck do you know I'm riding a bike?"

Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car
got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid up, so I just assumed that you'd be
using it."

Customer: "@#%/$@&?#!"

Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July
2006 conviction for cussing out a cop."

Customer: (Speechless)

Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"

Customer: "No, nothing. Oh, yeah, don't forget the two free liters of Coke
your ad says I get with the pizzas."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from
offering free soda to diabetics."

"Judah" wrote in message
...
Today at my FBO I found out that one of the TSA Agents has been going
around "testing" all the FBOs on the field to see if they are secure.
Apparently he went to the gate, waited for someone (not an employee of the
FBO, but a customer) who was coming out and told them that he left his
keys
in the plane and they let him in.

This, in his mind, was a security violation, and he held the FBO
responsible.

This, in my mind, is almost as effective as when they checked my driver's
license as I drove in.

Do they really think that the chain-linked fence attached to the gate is
going to keep a determined terrorist out? Do they really think that
terrorists don't carry drivers' licenses when they drive onto airport
property?

What the hell is the goal?

Is it to keep us so afraid of each other that we don't let each other get
our keys out of the plane?

Or is it to keep Americans so afraid of each other that we just stop
talking to each other altogether?