True, but it wouldn't have been lecturing to inform the non-pilot of the
reckless and illegal risk her husband was subjecting her to. She surely has
a right to know, so she can make an informed decision whether to fly with
him again.


There are two possiblilties.

1: The pilot can learn from his mistake. In this case, taking the above
action would probably ensure that the wife will never fly with him again, and
will forever be scared of airplanes and distrustful of her husband's abilities.
It may even end his flying career right there, and thus his ability to make
use of what he learned (or will learn). Remember that just because the pilot
learns something doesn't mean that the passenger will learn that the pilot
learned something.

2: The pilot canNOT learn from his mistake. In this case, Darwin will have
his due, and taking the above action may save a life. But maybe not (his wife
may figure this out soon enough, or may not be on the fatal trip).

You don't know which of these two possibilities it is. Have you never made a
stupid mistake you learned from, even if the learning took place some time
later, especially as a newly minted pilot? Would you like your passengers to
be let in on it so they can see what a dangerous jerk you were in the air?

I'd say that a word to the pilot (not a lecture, but a two-way side
conversation about flight conditions and consequences and luck) might be
appropriate. Calling an Aviation Safety Counselor might also be a good idea.
But I would under no (conceivable) circumstances berate the pilot to his wife,
the passenger. That will likely backfire.

Jose


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