I am not a CFI or even commercial rated (yet). I have had similar
situations where I fly. I've had approach chew me out because my IFR
plan had just expired (hey, who would have expected having to sit for
30 minutes waiting for 10 aircraft to land at a private field). Notice,
not a clearance, but flight plan. We were going to activate in the air
since it was VFR conditions. All we would have needed to do was contact
FSS and re-enter it. The CFII beside me had been a controller and told
me that the controller was out of line.

My suggestions a (1) ASRA filing -- you don't have to be the
involved pilot(s). This will get someones attention to a problem. (2)
Contact the FSDO and/or ADO. File a complaint about the behaviors of
the controllers. This will also get things corrected.

IMHO there is a reason that some people are NON-FED controllers. They
couldn't hack it within the FAA or USMIL. These people, in my
experience, tend to have an attitude.

Lastly, mic-fright is what kept me from getting my Instrument rating
for so long. And why when flying places, I would actually go well out
of my way to avoid "C" and "B" airspace. Meeting with FAA personnel in
WINGS programs have allowed some of us to get them to understand that
even Instrument pilots get "scared" when calling ground/clearance at
some airfields.

Regards,
Steve.T