"Jay Honeck" wrote
I will leave it to Jim to tell the tale of our hilarious run-in with
the American Airlines flight crew that wins the new "World's Dumbest"
award when it comes to hotel elevators. Suffice it to say that I won't
be booking any flights on American any time soon. :-)


Well, I'll give it my best shot, because the more I think of how stupid it
was, my brain simply objects and I leave something out! But, in all
fairness, I'll throw out a disclaimer for all the hard working commercial
airline flight crews out there, that maybe this crew had just gotten off of
day 8 on an 8 day trip and off the 8th hop of the day and didn't even know
what town they were in, much less which hotel, much less whether or not to
push the single elevator button.

So after spending Thursday and Friday at "The Henry Ford" (museum) and
Greenfield Village, Dearborn, MI my cell phone rang announcing the Honeck's
arrival at KYIP Willow Run Airport. We'd been walking non stop since 9:30am
and by 2:30pm had seen almost everything to be seen at the Greenfield
Village, so we gladly agreed to meet them at our hotel, then find a nice sit
down restaurant for lunch and some afternoon refreshments.

Lunch and a pitcher or two later, we returned to the hotel so the kids could
change into their swimming suits then hit the pool. This is when things got
seriously scary or hilarious, depending if you know how to use an elevator
or not.

Approaching the hotel elevators just ahead of us, where two uniformed pilots
and two uniformed flight attendants. The senior looking flight attendant
hit the UP elevator call button and shortly one of the double elevators
doors opened. The flight crew enters, hits the "floor" button for their
floor, the door closes and the 8 Honeck/Burns party pushes the UP elevator
call button to call the second elevator for us.

Well, before we know it, the first elevator's doors open and we're staring
face to face with the AA flight crew. Obviously the elevator didn't "know"
that the floor button had been pushed in the first car and then respond by
sending down the second car, it simply opened the doors for the first car.
We smile, laugh, tell them we'll catch the next one, they push the floor
button, the doors close and we wait again for our elevator. No sooner than
the doors close, they open again and here are the flight crew once again!

So... the senior flight attendant gets OUT of their elevator, enters the
lobby, pushes the elevator call button on the outside of the elevator, then
gets back IN the car that she just got out of and waits a few seconds for
something to happen!... the elevator car doesn't move... the doors are
still open.... they stare at us from inside the car... we stare back from
outside the car...

.... sometimes my wife will begin a conversation with the words... "I was
thinking" and jokingly I'll respond with some remark about seeing smoke, or
turning off the smoke detector, or calling the fire department... anyway,
the smoke was rolling out of the senior flight attendants brain cells BIG
TIME.. as she announces to both the other members of the flight crew and the
Honeck/Burns clan that she'll ...

"get out and take the stairs because there's too many people in the elevator
for it to work and now that there is only 2 of them, it will work"....
Definitely not Mrs. Otis or their daughter!

ok boys and girls, welcome to flight attendent Math 101... how many were in
the flight crew? how many got off? if we all look inside the elevator
(just like she did) how many do we see? yep, 3, not 2, ok, we need to do
better next time because we'll actually have to count the passengers
someday!

So Jay and I look at each other like neither of us could believe what we
just heard or saw and I poke my head in the elevator to ask if anybody is a
pilot or if they need an approach plate... no response... not even a
chuckle, so we figured that pilots without stripes on their shoulders or
other mere mortals shouldn't know anything about these things....

We begin to pile in with the remaining flight crew of 3... but my wife being
claustrophobic quickly bails out once the count reaches 11... then the
junior flight attendant joins her in the second elevator... so now it's 4
Honecks, 3 Burns', and the 2 AA Pilots inside the elevator and we punch our
button for the 6th floor, all to the objection of.... are you ready?

The Captain. Yep, 4 stripes but no POH for an elevator so he announces that
we're not going nowhere, the elevator isn't working, there's something
screwed up and it's got something to do with the button outside.

Quick thinking Jay pours cold water all over his authority and boldly bets
him $50 that it will work. Captain American Airlines snickers and retorts
with a snide "Fifty bucks, huh?" Jay doesn't back down, "Yep, Fifty Bucks!"
and reaches for the door close button....

The door closes...

and all 9 of us are headed skyward....

their floor was the 4th, and when the doors open Captain American Airlines
exits with his ever mute co-pilot in tow.

I'm quite sure they heard us laughing all the way to our rooms. Jay didn't
collect $50 from CAA, but the laughs were worth much more. It wouldn't have
been funnier if it had been Carol Burnett, Vicki Lawrence, Harvey Corman,
and Tim Conway.

Jim