Duncan writes:

Are you a troll?

No.

Why don't you head down to your local flight school and do a $100 trial
flight?

In part because $100 is almost what I make in a week. In part because
there are no local schools. In part because I have no time or
transportation to get to a flight school. And in part because, even
if I enjoyed the flight, I have no resources to pursue any type of
real-world flying.

You'll get a logbook and get to make your first entry in it.

Wow. Do I get small appliances after logging a certain number of
hours?

You'll get to fly a real plane, hands on.

Wow.

Actually, I'd much rather have time on some full-motion sims.

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