As a Zen Master Aviator, I make the weather change to suit
me.



"C J Campbell" wrote
in message
e.com...
| The Seven Levels of Aviation (Satire) (and with apologies
to Ken Rockwell,
| the Seven Levels of Photographers)
|
| Master: Level 7 (the highest level)
|
| The Master has a Vision in a tangible form called Flying.
He and the aircraft
| are one. The Master is the aircraft and the aircraft is
the Master. The
| Master but thinks, and the aircraft responds.
|
| The Master is a complete Master of his tools. He does not
look for the pitot
| heat switch; he knows where it is. His hand goes to it
before the Master even
| consciously thinks it.
|
| Some Pilots think that one who can fly a tailwheel
airplane, perform an
| outside loop, or land on a gravel bar must be a Master. A
Master may be able
| to do those things, but they are a part of the Master. One
who merely
| executes the maneuvers competently is not a Master. A
Pilot may be able to
| survive an unexpected encounter with bad weather. The
Master intuitively
| avoids any weather he does not wish to fly in.
|
| A Master may have many type certificates and have logged
time in many
| different aircraft. Or he may have flown only a single
aircraft in his entire
| life. It does not matter. The Master does not care what he
flies. He cares
| only that he flies. An old Master may no longer be able to
fly, but he
| remains a Master.
|
| The Master does not fly to please others. He may dress
strangely or fly a
| filthy airplane. The Master probably subscribes to strange
or oddball
| political or religious philosophies.
|
| Masters do not get along well with management. They show
up at the airport
| when they wish, fly where they want, teach whom they will,
and return when it
| suits them. Consequently Masters have a tough time making
a living in
| aviation. They have difficulty promoting themselves.
Frequently the Master
| will have a reputation as being rebellious or difficult.
Because a Master
| speaks his mind, he is often in trouble. However, merely
boldly speaking
| one's mind does not make one a Master. It is a
characteristic also of
| Measurebators. Those who achieve financial success almost
always have dropped
| down to Whore.
|
| Examples of famous Masters are Charles Lindbergh, Jimmy
Doolittle, or Bob
| Hoover.
|
| Who Level 6
|
| The Whore is a pilot who sells his soul and his freedom
for mere money or
| other rewards. The Whore is not free to do as he pleases;
he is not master of
| himself, but of his employers. The Whore does not
experiment. He follows the
| rules of his employers. He goes to work because he needs
the money, not
| because he loves his job.
|
| Whores are employed by pimps, who schedule their time and
set the rules for
| flying, and johns, who buy time in an airplane, go
sightseeing, or take
| instruction.
|
| Many airline pilots and time-building flight instructors
are Whores. The
| mantra of the Whore is "Strike!"
|
| Pilot: Level 5
|
| The Pilot does not earn his living from flying, though he
may occasionally be
| paid for his services. He flies for the love of it. The
Pilot has not
| achieved the level of skill of the Master, but he flies
for the same reasons.
| Many Pilots are very good at what they do.
|
| A Pilot who loses himself in the air, feeling the moment,
is on the path to
| Enlightenment.
|
| The Pilot still views the aircraft as a tool, a means to
an end, and not the
| end in itself. He is not one with the aircraft.
|
| Sunday Flyer: Level 4
|
| The Sunday Flyer likes to get out once in awhile and fly.
Sunday Flyers may
| be seen at air shows, fly-ins, and pancake breakfasts. The
Sunday Flyer may
| fly quite well. Some of them are Masters and do not
realize it.
|
| Most Sunday Flyers fly simple, single engine airplanes.
|
| The food of the Sunday Flyer is the $100 hamburger.
|
| Throttle Jock: Level 3
|
| The Throttle Jock likes to call himself a Professional.
Many believe that
| they are Masters. The Throttle Jock, like the Whore, earns
his entire living
| from aviation. Unlike the Whore, however, the Throttle
Jock is usually poor.
|
| The Throttle Jock does not fly for enjoyment. He flies for
commerce. The
| Throttle Jock usually knows his way around an airplane,
but there is still
| much that he does not understand. He will believe and
spread many myths and
| false information about flight.
|
| The Throttle Jock spends much of his time complaining
about how hard it is to
| find jobs and how little they pay. He gripes about
aviation rules, the
| government, and everything else he can think of to blame
for his problems.
| The one person he never finds fault with is himself.
|
| Rich Pilot: Level 2
|
| There are pilots who, having too much money, buy all of
the latest aircraft
| and aviation gizmos. They are often professionals in other
fields, such as
| doctors and lawyers. Many are old and retired.
|
| Rich Pilots fly Cirrus, Bonanzas, King Airs, Lancairs,
Malibus, Eclipse jets,
| and other airplanes that the rest of us wish we could
afford. These are the
| pilots who will buy a Mustang simply because it costs
millions of dollars.
| Other levels of pilots may also fly these aircraft, but
Rich Pilots do it
| simply because they are rich.
|
| If a Rich Pilot flies well, he will believe it is because
of the airplane
| that he flies. If he does not, he will blame that also on
the airplane.
|
| Some Rich Pilots go on to become merely Pilots, because
they have spent all
| their money. Others become Masters. Still others sink to
the level of
| Measurebators.
|
| Measurebators: Level 1 (You cannot get any lower than
this.)
|
| The Measurebator has no interest in aviation. What
interests him is proving
| his superiority over everyone else. He may have many
certificates and ratings
| and flown every type ever made, and he will never let you
forget it. The
| Measurebator never stops bragging about his ratings, the
types of aircraft he
| has flown, the dangers he has faced, or how good his
flight simulator is. The
| Measurebator is convinced that everyone else is an idiot.
|
| If he somehow manages to acquire a student, he will
constantly tell the
| student that the Measurebator is one of the greatest
pilots of all time, and
| that other pilots are ignorant slobs. If the student does
not quit, he will
| become a Measurebator himself.
|
| The key word is "Pride." The Measurebator must always be
comparing himself
| and everything else with everything else. All he is
interested in is ranking.
|
| The Measurebator is interested in equipment only for its
own sake. He will
| spend hours poring over engineering reports, looking over
the tiniest flaws.
| Although the Measurebator does not produce anything
himself, he spends a
| great deal of time criticizing those who do.
|
| Measurebators may be trial lawyers, engineers, or video
game players. Most of
| them would rather read about flying than actually fly.
|
| To the uninitiated, the Measurebator will seem a font of
knowledge. But
| beware. Their sick, lifeless souls want to drag you down
to their personal
| hells, where you will never again feel the freedom and
beauty of flight.
|
| The Measurebator is not interested in why you fly or where
you fly. He is not
| interested in improving your ability to fly. He is only
interested in what
| you fly and what your credentials are so he can criticize
your inadequacies.
| Beware.
|
| One difference between a Master and a Measurebator is that
the Master seeks
| to build others up, while the Measurebator seeks to tear
others down. If you
| are concerned about your level of aviation, then you are a
Measurebator.
|