"Danny Deger" wrote

Here is the start of my book on my life as a fighter pilot, engineer,
astronaut instructor, and involuntary lockup in a psych ward. Tell me
what you think.

First, try to take this all as my attempt at constructive criticisim, and
not flaming, in any way.

Be carefull, that your writing is not so "lingo correct" that the only ones
that can read it are people that are in the field. That would limit your
audience, quite a bit. g

As you tell your story, you can explain the lingo, in plain language as part
of the story, so that once it is explained, the lingo becomes understood,
and learned.

We were passing beak-to-beak

I have some ideas wht that means, but I'm really not positive, and would
just be guessing.

and I was preparing for a successful separation

What is a sucessfull separation; how do you know when you have one, and why
is that an important thing?

- unload, full burner, maybe a couple of check turns to

Check turns? To check where he is?

add a few of angles

I think the angles is angels? as in altitude?

"I didn't turn in front of you I led turned you."

HuH?

I like hearing stuff like this, but I would definitely be thinking that I
had missed half of the story. Like I said, make explaining the terms part
of to story, and part of the color of the story telling.

Good luck! That is an ambitious project.
--
Jim in NC