I would not trade my 900 or so hours of online simulation for the
half-hour or so of real flight that I could get for the same money. You have
to draw the line somewhere, and it's a bit surrealistic to insist that even a
few minutes of real flight trumps days, months, or years of simulation.

A single take-off at the controls, even as a student pilot, trumps all
the time I've EVER spent pretending to fly planes in any of three
simulators I've tried. I would happily trade that simulator time
against real flight time.

If you openly admit you don't want to be a pilot, and you also don't
want to spend any time at all as a student pilot -- then why are you
posting on a piloting forum?

Your actions are not just surreal -- they're quite obviously insane.