On 2007-12-24 09:42:18 -0800, "Darkwing" theducksmail"AT"yahoo.com said:

I am disappointed. I figured someone would have posted it by now and set of
a fire storm of posts about how stupid it is and never to post it again!
Bwahahaha!

That reminds me: I have to post the one I wrote a few years ago. It is
a bit dated now, but it was accepted for publication on rec.humor.funny:

Press Release S. Claus Enterprises North Pole
For Immediate Publication
Santa Claus will not be making his usual stops in the District of
Columbia and parts of adjoining areas this year due to the numerous
flight restrictions in the area. Claus emphasizes that the decision
should not imply a judgment as to whether the boys and girls living in
the restricted areas have been bad or good. The FAA's refusal to allow
SC Enterprises delivery of gifts in the affected areas, however, speaks
for itself. The FAA has allowed SC Enterprises to conduct operations in
the vicinity of New York and Boston, but the reindeer powered sleigh
must be accompanied by two fighter jets while overflying the two cities.
SC Enterprises continues to negotiate with the FAA in the hopes of at
least obtaining delivery rights in areas near nuclear power plants,
dams, reservoirs, and college campuses. The talks have been held up by
new demands for restrictions near nuclear power plants and by Mayor
Richard Daley of Chicago's demand that Santa Claus file a complete
itinerary and load manifest with the city before departing the North
Pole. Originally Mayor Daley wanted to restrict Santa from flying
within 100 miles of Chicago, but last minute negotiations have resulted
in permission for Santa to make a single stop at Meigs Field provide he
meets Mayor Daley's other requirements.
Residents near nuclear power plants have protested allowing Santa to
fly within 10 miles of the plants, stating that the safety of their
families is more important than Christmas. Others have expressed the
concern that people should not have a merry Christmas at all in view of
the tragedy at the World Trade Center. Our view is that these are
exactly the reasons we should celebrate Christmas and its message of
peace for all mankind. Security officials at the Salt Lake Olympics
have not commented publicly on whether they will allow Santa to deliver
gifts as usual there other than to note that the Christmas season will
be over before the Olympics are sheduled to begin.
SC Enterprises is also attempting to work with the National Security
Council's demand that all gifts be delivered in North America and
Hawaii before Santa visits the Middle East. This will severely curtail
our ability to follow the night westward and greatly reduce the normal
time available for gift deliveries. Fortunately, the demand for gifts
in the Middle East has been equally reduced due to the unusually high
percentage of bad boys and girls there, even though Santa has said that
he has a special gift for Osama bin Laden if he is still alive on
Christmas Eve, "something more appropriate than the usual willow
switches or lump of coal reserved for those guilty of lesser crimes."
--
Waddling Eagle
World Famous Flight Instructor