Anticipating the storm of media accusations which are sure to come,
Candidate Weir should be proactive in his actions. Apologies for all
possible scenarios need to be prepared and on hand at every whistle-prop.
Special attention should be paid to those subjects most likely to crop up.

These include, but are not limited to, conduct at Oshkosh dorms while
wearing funny hats, flaming newbies who dare to ask stupid questions on
usenet, flagrant flaunting and disdain for TSO'd electronics, and illicit
logbook entries (known casually as P-51 time [you old-timers who used
fountain pens know what I mean]).

I would like to offer my talents to Candidate Weir at my usual fee. After
forty-three years of marriage, I am well-skilled in every area of apologies.
I have been sorry for almost everything and have been known to offend SWMBO
even while I am asleep. I wake up with repentance. When I go to the store
for milk or bread, I buy flowers - knowing that by the time I get home I'll
be in trouble. Jim, if you want an expert in saying I'm sorry, I'm your man.
How much will I have to pay you for the job?????

Rich "I'm sorry for this posting already" S.