Reminds me of the Dean who was trying to convince a wealthy alumni to
contribute. The Alum said he wouldn't, because everything the school
did was impractical. The Dean, in an effort to prove they focused hard
on practicality, handed the Alum a doctoral thesis entitled
"Increasing Egg Production". The Alum opened it, read the first
sentence, and declared that it proved his point precisely. The first
sentence read: "First, assume a spherical chicken".

-John