After an exhausting session with Victoria's Secret Police, Guy Alcala
confessed the following:

Oh, I've always wanted to roll over and rat someone out to the feds! With
my luck I'll get classified as an enemy combatant -- being a Northern
California native probably qualifies me in the eyes of this administration
;-)

Of course we know that Guy Alcala is simply a clever play on words,
Al-Guycala (the extra c-a is merely a form of phonetic MIJI) hence
Al-Guyla (say it fast, kinda slurred) is pretty darn close to
al-Quada, ergo you are a spy.

If Saddam Hussein had ties to al-Qaeda, by golly you clearly do too.
Kindly turn over your WMD.

And to think I believed that reading and analysing data from open
sources was a completely legal activity in this country.

Subversive! Thinking...there'll be none of that.

OTOH, the USAF
supposedly made the attempt to classify Maxwell's equations some years
back (stealth, don't you know), which would have been an interesting
exercise in ex-post facto censorship.

You've given me an idea, maybe I can sell Avagadro's number (he was a
Mole afterall) and Planck's constant on e-Bay.

Juvat