How about a recent? I had my ship down for a year for the annual because I
was interrupted by a building extension to the hangar/house. I wasn't
really current and had gone completely thru the rigging, new engine mounts
and a modification to the clutch. With more than a little trepidation, I
fired it up and lifted off only to have the thing shoot skyward like a bat
out of hell turning and going sideways at the same time. I pressed down on
the collective only to have the thing, still turning and sliding sidways,
now dive for the ground. I quickly decided that if it wa headed to the
ground that quick a jerk on the collective was warranted. I could do the
easy pressure only on the up side. Well this went on for a week, so it must
have been a couple of minutes and I slowly gained control of the thing but
the collective seemed overly sensitive. I know that I was rusty but this
was beyond imagination. I managed to get it on the ground and pushed it
into the hangar and started looking closely at the controls. As I raised
the collective I felt a little drag that suddenly went away. The grease in
the slider just above the swash plate had set there for a year so I put
fresh grease in the slider and tried the controls again. This time it felt
smoother. With a tight hold on everything, my Helmet tight I tried it again
being very slow and cautious on left off by just squeezing the collective
and really feeling my way off the ground. Voila! I had my helicopter back
and while I was a bit rusty, I could do clock turns about the point within a
few minutes.
I can unequivocally state that if a helicopter test pilot is constipated,
only oral laxatives should be prescribed as enemas will be impossible.

"Ol Shy & Bashful" wrote in message
...
Ever had an actual one? This board is so freakin dead and boring I
left months ago. This is another attempt to revive it.
Any takers?
I've had several actual in flight emergencies in helicopters worldwide
(in addition to the phyxed wing side) and survived them all.
how about yor stories?
Ol S&B