I can’t seem to equate pale wussie nerdy overweight water-drinkin sunscreen rubbin successful gliderpusses with rawhide-eating cow-punching trick-shootin Marboro smokin wiskey drinkin blood drippin manly men with that Johnny Cash tune playin in my head.
Perhaps a Disney tune.

“Who you calling successful?”

You definitely have Lyrics writing skills Hammerstein.

R