STANDARD FLAME POST version 3.432 (c) 1996-1997. Check all that apply.

Dear:
[ ] Clueless Newbie [ ] AOL subscriber [ ] WebTV subscriber
[X] Lamer [ ] Me too-er [ ] Mr. President
[ ] Geek [ ] Spammer [ ] Racist
[ ] Freak [X] Dummy [X] "Expert"

You Are Being Flamed Because:
[ ] You quoted an entire post in your reply
[ ] You started an off-topic thread
[X] You continued a long, stupid thread
[ ] You posted a binary file to a non-binary newsgroup
[x] You posted a "YOU ALL SUCK" message
[ ] You posted a "test" message to a newsgroup other than alt.test
[ ] You said "me too" to something
[X] You claimed "X rules, Y sucks" but failed to support your lame
statements with evidence
[ ] You brag about things that never happened
[ ] Your sig is obnoxiously long
[ ] You posted a cyber-sex/phone-sex ad
[ ] You posted a MMF (Make Money Fast) chain letter
[ ] You claimed that a pyramid scheme is legal
[ ] You crossposted this message to at least a ZILLION newsgroups
[ ] You obviously don't know how to use your software
[ ] YOU OBVIOUSLY DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE THE CAPS LOCK KEY
[X] You didn't do anything specific, but you are generally so worthless
that you are being flamed anyway
[ ] You posted racist crap disguised as information

To Repent, You Must:
[ ] Give up your AOL account
[x] Give up your WebTV account
[X] Bust up your modem with a hammer and eat it
[X] Jump into a bathtub while holding your monitor
[ ] Actually post something relevant
[ ] Read and memorize the FAQ
[X] Ask your husband/wife/life partner to slap you, REAL HARD!
[X] Ask your mommy to up your medication
[X] Be the guest of honor in alt.flame for a month
[X] Stop smoking whatever you were smoking

In Closing, I'd Like to Say:
[X] Get a clue [X] Get a life
[X] Grow up [ ] Never crosspost again
[X] I pity your dog [ ] Take your stuff somewhere else
[ ] Learn how to post or get off [X] This is your LAST warning!
[ ] All of the above


"I am Fudd of Borg. Wesistance is usewess!"