I went to the memorials,
and we celebrated their lives of exhuberance and joy, and told the widows
how much we missed them and what great guys they both were. Then the
pilots stood around and said "how the hell did that happen"? Those
thoughts aren't to be shared with outsiders, but I think it's something we
need to do, for ourselves and for others.

I've had the misfortune of attending two memorials for lost pilot
friends during 2007. One was for a middle-aged couple who died
together, leaving only grieving, elderly parents and friends, while
the other was for a young father of two little kids, and an infant.

The difference between the two events was striking. In the former,
everyone (even the parents) said "As least they died doing something
they loved" -- and meant it. Our friends left no dependents, so their
fate was truly their own. Although death came to them too soon, it
seemed almost a noble way to go, compared to so many alternatives.

At the latter memorial, NO ONE said those words, as they would have
sounded cold and empty to the young widow and orphans. The horror of
the situation, the stark loss for the family, and the finality of the
event weighed heavily on all of us, and all we could think of --
silently -- was "What the hell happened?"

The manner of ones death matters mostly to the victim. For the
survivors, timing is everything.
--
Jay Honeck
Iowa City, IA
Pathfinder N56993
www.AlexisParkInn.com
"Your Aviation Destination"