I've posted this before, but I think my landouts are more fun than most:

My first contest task was in a non-sanctioned event (the first PASCO League contest) out of Chico, CA. CD called a 120 sm triangle around the northern end of the Sacramento valley, which has plenty of landable fields, luckily, since I'd never actually done an off-airport landing. The day looked promising, with lots of cu's, but cloud bases never got much above 2000 ft AGL, so we pretty much ended up with a gaggle of about 20 gliders stopping in lift every few miles. Things went well until the last turn point, which was in the middle of acres of flooded rice fields, at that point everyone went into survival mode and scattered. Never did manage to hook up with lift again, and I soon was down to 700 feet over what looked like a fine dirt farm field with a graded dirt road down the middle. Only on final did I realize that the "road" was on top of a narrow levee between two dry sunken rice fields. I lined up as best I could, got it down right in the middle of the levee, rolled out about 100 feet, then the glider tilted over at a 45 degree angle, as the levee was about 4 feet high. Landing on the levee turned out to be a good thing, the fields were soft broken dirt with dead rice stalks and good-size rocks mixed in. Managed to raise someone on the radio, they got a message back to the airport for my then girlfriend (now wife) to come get me with the trailer (this was the first and last retrieve she ever did). Then I sat down to wait.

A short time later, a helicopter flies flies overhead makes a few circles, then also makes a landing on the levee (which was just barely wider than the skids). Just the California Highway Patrol, checking out reports of a downed aircraft, I assured them I was OK and help was on the way, so they headed off. Minutes later, a county sheriff's car drives out on the levee (which was just barely wider than the car), checking out a report of downed aircraft, I assured him I was OK, and help was on the way, he said he'd go find the farmer, and heads off.

A while later, a motorhome pulls over and stops on a highway at the far side of one of the fields, a man and a women get out, and as they get closer, I notice the woman is carrying beer. Turns out to be Karol Hines (LL), who I'd not yet met, she wasn't flying in the contest, but was heading up to the airport for the BBQ, she and her then SO heard on the radio that there was a glider down, and figured she'd bring necessary survival gear. So, we sat and talked, and waited, and eventually we saw my SUV and trailer making several passes from various directions, trying to figure out where I was. Eventually, the correct road was located, and my girlfriend and, luckily, another pilot who just happened to be a truck driver in real life, drove up to the edge of the field. After some discussion and pushing, we determined that since I managed to stop right at the middle of the levee in soft dirt, we weren't going to manage to push the glider off the levee, so our truck driver somehow managed to back the SUV and trailer several hundred yards out onto the levee right in front of the glider. We then had the interesting problem of how to disassemble the glider, since there was no way the wing stands would work. Had to resort to human wing stands, who held the wing tips over their heads, while we pulled the pins and got everything into the trailer. The whole thing was accomplished without a scratch to the glider, trailer, car, or participants.

Just as we finished, the farmer drives up, we exchange a few pleasantries, then he shakes his head and says "you can't be a very good pilot". He points over to the far side of one of the fields at a barely visible windsock and says, "didn't you see my duster strip over there?"...

Marc