"Shelly" wrote in message
...
Subject: Cockpit Voice Recorder

Here is the transcript from the voice recorder from the Hudson River Crash
starting after the bird strikes.


PIC is a Pilot in Command, SIC is Second in Command, you all know who
Sully is.



SIC: "Number two's gone, boss."

Sully: "I know it! What do I look like, an R-22 pilot (that's a baby
helicopter a real egg beater)? Just shut the f*cker down, boy. Oh, and
tell Departure that we need to come back in and land. F*cking birds..."

SIC: "Sheesh, somebody got up on the wrong side of his throne this
morning. You don't have to insult me just because I got my commercial
helicopter rating in the mighty Robinson. Oh, and by the way, sir, we're
not climbing, if you even care. Maybe your decision to take on that extra
5,000 pounds of fuel wasn't so hot, Captain."

Sully: "One more comment like that and I'll make sure the union keeps you
in RJ's for the rest of your miserable, short career."

Bang!

Sully: "SON OF A BITCH!"

SIC: "Number one's failing, boss."

Sully: "I can see that! Am I a-f*cking-sleep? Can I not read the
gauges? Am I not flying the plane here?"

SIC: "I'm just sayin'..."

Sully: "Goddamn Canadians, sending their f*cking geese down here every
winter. Why, if I ever *see* another Canadian I'm gonna punch him right
in the throat. I *HATE* Canadians."

SIC: "Everybody does, boss. Think we can make Teterboro or straight-in
to 22 at Newark?"

Sully: "Yeah, probably. But f*ck Teterboro! Let's go to Newark. I've
flown out of Teterboro. Short damn runways...always a crosswind. And
their FBO's suck. I'd rather land in the Hudson f*cking river than land
at Teterboro. Hey...."

SIC: "You're not..."

Sully: "Why not? Maybe we can take out some sailboats with some prick
Canadian snowbirds."

SIC: "You ever land on the water before?"

Sully: "Plenty of times! I got my seaplane rating back in 1946. I think
it was in a...Piper...somethingoranother, I forget. Never mind. It'll
all come back to me. Pull out the Before Water Landing checklist and run
it."

SIC: (flipping through the stack of checklists) "Can't seem to find one
for that."

Sully: "Fooled ya! HAH! There ain't one! Just get on the horn and tell
the people to put their heads between their legs and kiss...no wait, that
won't sound good on on the CVR tape...make it, 'brace for collision'...no
wait, make it 'brace for impact.' Yeah, that's better. No wait! Tell
them that out the left side of the plane they can see theIntrepid Museum,
and that if they'd like to visit it, they'll be able to, this afternoon,
like, in about twenty minutes. Oh, and ring the stews and have them bring
me a rum and coke. If I'm gonna do this, I need a good stiff drink. And
have that one with the big tits bring it up. If I'm gonna die, I wanna
die drunk and with a boner."

SIC: "Like your grandfather did?"

Sully: "This is no time to make jokes, son. I would really appreciate it
if you'd try to take this situation seriously. I'm fairly certain that my
grandfather did not die with a boner. I mean, have you ever met my
grandmother?"

SIC: "You know, if you pull this off CNN will be calling you the Hero
Pilot of the Year."

Sully: "F*ck CNN. Liberal *******s. All I care about is what the
fair-and-balanced Fox News will call me. I hope Fox News calls me a
hero!"

SIC: (sighing) "They probably will too. Nobody will remember *my* name.
It'll be 'Sully this'...and, 'Sully that.' 'Captain Sully, the big
f*cking hero.' Like you are the only f*cking one in the cockpit."

Sully: "You're quite bitter. You really are a helicopter pilot at heart,
aren't you? You know, some pilots wait their whole career to be called a
hero. I mean, Christ, I've only got two years to go to retirement. That
was close!"

SIC: "We're not down yet, Captain Skygod."

Sully: "I know, this thing glides pretty well, huh? Dammit, no
sailboats. Oh well, let's see if we can buzz one of those damn sightseeing
helicopters. What's best-glide/engines out?"

SIC: "Beats the **** outta me."

Sully: "Vref?"

SIC: "F*ck if I know."

Sully: "Britney Spears' birthday?"

SIC: "December 2, 1981."

Sully: "Well, I'm glad you know SOMETHING! Just gimme full flaps..."

[END OF RECORDING]



Sounds pretty "by the book" to me. Way to go boys!