No one “drinks” in Canada. Our daily government-issued food hamper arrives with our choice of cannabis or additional maple syrup wart. I chose recently to identify as non-binary and of Inuit descent, so I get a female package and a male package and the “Thanks to your ancestors for teaching us to trap beavers” bonus bag. I merge the cannabis and the wart in a and the Eagle feathers in the totem jar designed for that blending. My jar has been in my family since before that little misunderstanding August 12, 1814 when my uncle Peter was celebrating another win over America toking up in your Presidential Mansion and he set the drapes on fire. So, the White House is again white only because uncle Peter whipped up the first batch of Sharp-off! eh?©️®️and white once again ruled. Sorry, eh?

But as is my wont, I digress. The family jar has been fermenting, and through thousands of cycles has now mutated the ability to transform feathers and wart to the most pleasant blend of heroine and herb.

So, I did not drink to loosen up or get creative with words. I simply ingested a shot of jar and within milliseconds I was tapped into Canada’s CNN, the Comedic Neural Network. On duty that day were Martin Short, and Mike Meyers, and of course Shatner is always sucking around. Their collective works were then posted herein.

I ask you all to excuse me now. The federal department of transportation just dropped off my loaner while the Lamborghini is being serviced. Due to cutbacks, Canada now only supplies the all electric Lamborghini and mine was being fitted for snow tires and the battery warmer. Mine’s name is Chantelle and when not warming my battery she warms me .
Really, I have to go now, Justin dissolved parliament for a Federal election and the 50 days will pass quickly. I’m running again to represent my riding, and if I start now I can run end to end to raise votes at the other igloo. And if you’ve never tried to wake up an entire den of heroine fueled lumberjacks on a Sunday morning...well let’s just say sorry, eh? Your loss.

What was the question?

Bob Lepp

H: 905 727-4188
C: 416 254-5916