some funny (but scary) stuff...

...i heard on the scanner today.

while listening to my scanner at work (near CMH) the humor//fear started off
like this...

tower: Southwest 521, cleared on the ILS for runway 28 right, your traffic
is a warrior at 2 o'clock, i'm not talking to him yet..

tower: warrior one whiskey alpha, I show you 3 miles northeast, enter right
base for (voice gets elevated) 28 LEFT, you are two miles in front of a
southwest 737 on final.

couldn't hear much of pilots' transmissions for some reason.

tower: you are supposed to talk with approach before you talk to me, now
where did you come from?

pilot: errr, ummm, ahhh (squirming in seat)

tower: well, you put yourself right in front of landing heavies, DON"T DO
THAT

(reply)

tower: OK!..clear to land, runway 28 left.

after a minute, plane lands...

tower: warrior one whiskey alpha, right on echo 2 if able. (plane still
rolling down runway)

(reply)

tower: ok, well, I don't know where your wife is. there are four FBO's on
the field (names all four), if I had to guess I would say that she would be
at Lane Aviation.

(reply)

tower: all right, let's try Lane. 180 approved on 28L, then left on Echo 1.

(longish pause, some comm with other a/c)

tower: one whiskey alpha, you just passed it, it's there on your left, slow
down and 180 agian back to echo1 and pull up on the ramp. call Lane on
122.95. That's a unicom freq. 122.95.

by now I'm laughing out loud. I continue working for a couple of hours, then
the finale.

Tower: one whiskey alpha, you are on tower freq, you need to contact
clearance delivery, 126.30

pause

ground (different controller): one alpha whiskey taxi to runway 28 left.

another pause.

tower controller, on ground freq (Let me handle this guy), audibly getting
excited again

ground: one alpha whiskey, you are still on ground freq, you need to contact
tower for takeoff clearance.

Tower: OK, one alpha whiskey, let's get you outta' here, winds calm, cleared
for takeoff on 28 left, left turn to 350.

pause

tower: one alpha whiskey, contact departure

pilot replies, everything seems OK.

several minutes go by, no other radio transmissions from one alpha whiskey

tower: warrior one alpha whiskey do read me? one alpha whiskey you were to
contact departure. one alpha whiskey if you can hear me, radar services are
terminated.

The thing that amazed me, is that even though the controller did raise his
voice a bit, he remained very professional. If this guy had pulled that
stunt over at OSU, those guys would have barbequed his butt (verbally).