For Fliers Only

Subject: For Fliers Only...


Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death ...I Shall Fear No Evil ... For
I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing. (sign over the entrance to the
SR-71 operating location
Kadena, Japan).

You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3. (Paul F.
Crickmore - test pilot)

From an old carrier sailor....Blue water Navy truism; There are more
planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky.

If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a
helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe.

Navy carrier pilots to Air Force pilots: Flaring is like squatting to
pee.

When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough
power left to get you to the scene of the crash.

Without ammunition the USAF would be just another expensive flying club.

What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a
pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up, the pilot dies.

Never trade luck for skill.

The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in aviation
a "Why is it doing that?", "Where are we?" and "Oh S#!+!"

Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers. (Hey?)

Progress in airline flying; now a flight attendant can get a pilot
pregnant.

Airspeed, altitude or brains. Two are always needed to successfully
complete the flight.

A smooth landing is mostly luck; two in a row is all luck; three in a
row is prevarication.

I remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous.

Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!

Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag for the
purpose of storing dead batteries.

Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a
person on the ground incapable of understanding it or doing anything
about it.

When a flight is proceeding incredibly well, something was forgotten.

Just remember, if you crash because of weather, your funeral will be
held on a sunny day.

Advice given to RAF pilots during W. W. II. When a prang (crash) seems
inevitable, endeavor to strike the softest, cheapest object in the
vicinity as slowly and gently as possible.

The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely
kill you. (Attributed to Max Stanley, Northrop test pilot)

A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't flying his plane to its
maximum. (Jon
McBride, astronaut)

If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into the
crash as possible. (Bob Hoover - renowned aerobatic and test pilot)

If an airplane is still in one piece, don't cheat on it; ride the
******* down. (Ernest K.
Gann, author &aviator)

Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you.

There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime. (Sign
over squadron ops
desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970).

The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm, and, a
good bowel movement. The night carrier landing is one of the few
opportunities in life where you get to experience all three at the same
time. (Author unknown, but someone who's beenthere)

"Now I know what a dog feels like watching TV." (A DC-9 captain trainee
attempting to check out on the 'glass cockpit' of an A-320).

If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to.

Basic Flying Rules: Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near
the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the
appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It
is much more difficult to fly there.

You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full
power to taxi to the terminal.


Arthur Kramer
344th BG 494th BS
England, France, Belgium, Holland, Germany
Visit my WW II B-26 website at:
http://www.coastcomp.com/artkramer

Add this one:

When making a forced landing at night, use the landing lights only when
ground contact is imminent. If you don't like what you see turn them off.

(Used to think about that one a lot flying an overgrossed Beech 18 full
of mail across the Rockies in the middle of the night.)

Rick

ubject: For Fliers Only
From: Rick
Date: 12/1/03 6:25 PM Pacific Standard Time
Message-id: k.net

Add this one:

When making a forced landing at night, use the landing lights only when
ground contact is imminent. If you don't like what you see turn them off.

THAT'S A GOOD ONE (GRIN)


Arthur Kramer
344th BG 494th BS
England, France, Belgium, Holland, Germany
Visit my WW II B-26 website at:
http://www.coastcomp.com/artkramer

or "If you're lost, go faster. That way you won't be lost as long."

-John

"Rick" wrote in message
hlink.net...
Add this one:

When making a forced landing at night, use the landing lights only when
ground contact is imminent. If you don't like what you see turn them off.

"John Banister" wrote in message
...
or "If you're lost, go faster. That way you won't be lost as long."

Believe it or not......I once heard a guy when asked by a tower where he
was, say,
"I'm over some buildings that are under me".

Dudley Henriques
International Fighter Pilots Fellowship
Commercial Pilot/ CFI Retired
For personal email, please replace
the z's with e's.
dhenriquesATzarthlinkDOTnzt

Dudley Henriques wrote:
"John Banister" wrote in message
...
or "If you're lost, go faster. That way you won't be lost as long."

Believe it or not......I once heard a guy when asked by a tower where he
was, say,
"I'm over some buildings that are under me".

Sounds like some guys I used to fly with in Troop Carrier. (^-^)))

George Z.

"George Z. Bush" wrote in message
...
Dudley Henriques wrote:
"John Banister" wrote in message
...
or "If you're lost, go faster. That way you won't be lost as long."

Believe it or not......I once heard a guy when asked by a tower where he
was, say,
"I'm over some buildings that are under me".

Sounds like some guys I used to fly with in Troop Carrier. (^-^)))

George Z.

I'll tell you George; it's absolutely amazing what you pick up in
transmission working radio in close in a high density traffic area on a busy
day over a protracted period of time. I've sat there and howled at some of
the stuff I heard going on.
I actually heard a guy on a GCA once, in near zero zero conditions...I
forget just exactly how bad it was...but it was approach marginal at any
rate. This guy was on a GCA final in weather up to his armpits. I know
because I was right behind him holding. All the way down final , he's
working the final controller, a female with a deep sexy voice, for all he's
worth, trying to make a date with her!
She's parrying his amorous comments with stuff like...."We'll see
466.....but for now you're a bit high and left.....turn right 2 degrees and
down 50 PLEASE!!!!!!"
I mean, we were breaking up!!!!! He made it ok, but I never did find out if
he got the date. I hope so. She REALLY DID sound sexy!!! :-))
Dudley Henriques
International Fighter Pilots Fellowship
Commercial Pilot/ CFI Retired
For personal email, please replace
the z's with e's.
dhenriquesATzarthlinkDOTnzt

Dudley Henriques wrote:
"George Z. Bush" wrote in message
...
Dudley Henriques wrote:
"John Banister" wrote in message
...
or "If you're lost, go faster. That way you won't be lost as long."

Believe it or not......I once heard a guy when asked by a tower where he
was, say,
"I'm over some buildings that are under me".

Sounds like some guys I used to fly with in Troop Carrier. (^-^)))

George Z.

I'll tell you George; it's absolutely amazing what you pick up in
transmission working radio in close in a high density traffic area on a busy
day over a protracted period of time. I've sat there and howled at some of
the stuff I heard going on.
I actually heard a guy on a GCA once, in near zero zero conditions...I
forget just exactly how bad it was...but it was approach marginal at any
rate. This guy was on a GCA final in weather up to his armpits. I know
because I was right behind him holding. All the way down final , he's
working the final controller, a female with a deep sexy voice, for all he's
worth, trying to make a date with her!
She's parrying his amorous comments with stuff like...."We'll see
466.....but for now you're a bit high and left.....turn right 2 degrees and
down 50 PLEASE!!!!!!"
I mean, we were breaking up!!!!! He made it ok, but I never did find out if
he got the date. I hope so. She REALLY DID sound sexy!!! :-))
Dudley Henriques
International Fighter Pilots Fellowship
Commercial Pilot/ CFI Retired
For personal email, please replace
the z's with e's.
dhenriquesATzarthlinkDOTnzt

That's where we aerial truck drivers had it all over you jocks. We had a
trained guy in the other seat shooting the GCA while his boss man was taking
care of the important future events of the evening. (^-^)))

"George Z. Bush" wrote in message
...
Dudley Henriques wrote:
"George Z. Bush" wrote in message
...
Dudley Henriques wrote:
"John Banister" wrote in message
...
or "If you're lost, go faster. That way you won't be lost as long."

Believe it or not......I once heard a guy when asked by a tower where
he
was, say,
"I'm over some buildings that are under me".

Sounds like some guys I used to fly with in Troop Carrier. (^-^)))

George Z.

I'll tell you George; it's absolutely amazing what you pick up in
transmission working radio in close in a high density traffic area on a
busy
day over a protracted period of time. I've sat there and howled at some
of
the stuff I heard going on.
I actually heard a guy on a GCA once, in near zero zero conditions...I
forget just exactly how bad it was...but it was approach marginal at any
rate. This guy was on a GCA final in weather up to his armpits. I know
because I was right behind him holding. All the way down final , he's
working the final controller, a female with a deep sexy voice, for all
he's
worth, trying to make a date with her!
She's parrying his amorous comments with stuff like...."We'll see
466.....but for now you're a bit high and left.....turn right 2 degrees
and
down 50 PLEASE!!!!!!"
I mean, we were breaking up!!!!! He made it ok, but I never did find out
if
he got the date. I hope so. She REALLY DID sound sexy!!! :-))
Dudley Henriques
International Fighter Pilots Fellowship
Commercial Pilot/ CFI Retired
For personal email, please replace
the z's with e's.
dhenriquesATzarthlinkDOTnzt

That's where we aerial truck drivers had it all over you jocks. We had a
trained guy in the other seat shooting the GCA while his boss man was
taking
care of the important future events of the evening. (^-^)))

Yeah, I know.......we in the "fast lane" heard from time to time about large
airplanes existing in the world, but we tried our damndest to avoid them if
at all possible!! :-))))
I heard a good one about you guys once....I think it actually happened on a
United flight into Philadelphia one night.
Story goes that the second officer, (fresh out of Emery Riddle I think and a
new hire through Stapleton) was on a first time route check with an older
crew. The chief stew, an "older" gal than the SO, was bent over between the
cockpit seats talking to the Captain as the airplane made the marker. She
asked the Captain what the tone was and the SO piped in a smart crack back
at her,
"It's the virgin light....goes off when there's a virgin in the cockpit"
She supposedly shot back at him, "Well then junior.....when and if you
manage to get this F*****g crate on the ground, write it up because it
doesn't work worth a ****"
Don't know for sure if it actually happened, but the guy who told me was the
Captain on the flight!
:-))
DH

"Dudley Henriques" wrote:


"John Banister" wrote in message
...
or "If you're lost, go faster. That way you won't be lost as long."

Believe it or not......I once heard a guy when asked by a tower where he
was, say,
"I'm over some buildings that are under me".

Dudley Henriques

Or the shaken up pilot on his first solo flight while declaring
an emergency for something and asked for 'The pilot's name' said,

"There is no pilot, I'm up here alone".

Poor devil.
--

-Gord.