REPOST: Round Engines

Round Engines...

DEDICATED TO ALL THOSE WHO WORKED ON OR FLEW BEHIND ROUND ENGINES, or like the sound of a REAL engine!

We gotta get rid of those turbines, they're ruining aviation and our hearing.

A turbine is too simple minded, it has no mystery. The air travels through it in a straight line and doesn't pick up any of the pungent fragrance of engine oil or pilot sweat.

Anybody can start a turbine. You just need to move a switch from "OFF" to "START" and then remember to move it back to "ON" after a while. My PC is
harder to start.

Cranking a round engine requires skill, finesse and style. You have to seduce it into starting. It's like waking up a horny mistress. On some planes, the pilots aren't even allowed to do it.

Turbines start by whining for a while, then give a ladylike poof and start whining a little louder.

Round engines give a satisfying rattle-rattle, click-click, BANG, more rattles, another BANG, a big macho FART or two, more clicks, a lot more smoke
and finally a serious low pitched roar. We like that. Remember Jimmy Stewart nursing that engine to life in "Flight of the Phoenix "? It's a GUY thing.

When you start a round engine, your mind is engaged and you can concentrate on the flight ahead. Starting a turbine is like flicking on a ceiling fan.
Useful, but hardly exciting.

When you have started his round engine successfully your Crew Chief looks up at you like he'd let you kiss his girl, too!

Turbines don't break or catch fire often enough, which leads to aircrew boredom, complacency and inattention. A round engine at speed looks and
sounds like it's going to blow any minute. This helps concentrate the mind!

Turbines don't have enough control levers or gauges to keep a pilot's attention. There's nothing to fiddle with during long flights.

Turbines smell like a Boy Scout camp full of Coleman Lamps.

Round engines smell like God intended machines to smell.


--





You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something in your life. - Winston Churchill

Bruce R wrote:

Round Engines...

DEDICATED TO ALL THOSE WHO WORKED ON OR FLEW BEHIND ROUND ENGINES, or
like the sound of a REAL engine!

We gotta get rid of those turbines, they're ruining aviation and our
hearing.

A turbine is too simple minded, it has no mystery. The air travels
through it in a straight line and doesn't pick up any of the pungent
fragrance of engine oil or pilot sweat.

Anybody can start a turbine. You just need to move a switch from
"OFF" to "START" and then remember to move it back to "ON" after a
while. My PC is
harder to start.

Cranking a round engine requires skill, finesse and style. You have
to seduce it into starting. It's like waking up a horny mistress.
On some planes, the pilots aren't even allowed to do it.

Turbines start by whining for a while, then give a ladylike poof and
start whining a little louder.

Round engines give a satisfying rattle-rattle, click-click, BANG,
more rattles, another BANG, a big macho FART or two, more clicks, a
lot more smoke
and finally a serious low pitched roar. We like that. Remember Jimmy
Stewart nursing that engine to life in "Flight of the Phoenix "? It's
a GUY thing.

When you start a round engine, your mind is engaged and you can
concentrate on the flight ahead. Starting a turbine is like flicking
on a ceiling fan.
Useful, but hardly exciting.

When you have started his round engine successfully your Crew Chief
looks up at you like he'd let you kiss his girl, too!

Turbines don't break or catch fire often enough, which leads to
aircrew boredom, complacency and inattention. A round engine at
speed looks and
sounds like it's going to blow any minute. This helps concentrate the
mind!

Turbines don't have enough control levers or gauges to keep a pilot's
attention. There's nothing to fiddle with during long flights.

Turbines smell like a Boy Scout camp full of Coleman Lamps.

Round engines smell like God intended machines to smell.


Turbine engines ARE round engines.

"Steven P. McNicoll" wrote in message
m...
Turbine engines ARE round engines.


I dunno, them engines on the Airbus that went into the drink and the ones on
the 737-800 have some funny looking flat spots on the bottoms.... :-P

"Bruce R" wrote in message
ng.com...
Round Engines...

DEDICATED TO ALL THOSE WHO WORKED ON OR FLEW BEHIND ROUND ENGINES, or like
the sound of a REAL engine!

We gotta get rid of those turbines, they're ruining aviation and our
hearing.

A turbine is too simple minded, it has no mystery. The air travels through
it in a straight line and doesn't pick up any of the pungent fragrance of
engine oil or pilot sweat.

Anybody can start a turbine. You just need to move a switch from "OFF" to
"START" and then remember to move it back to "ON" after a while. My PC is
harder to start.

Cranking a round engine requires skill, finesse and style. You have to
seduce it into starting. It's like waking up a horny mistress. On some
planes, the pilots aren't even allowed to do it.


You say that starting round engines, takes skill, finesse and style.
I contend that the same holds true to start a RR Merlin or a Packard V12 or
one of those monstrous Napier Sabres too, you have to know how many times
you have to prime the beasty then remember to switch on the mags, set the
mixtures, set the throttle precisely and once you've done all that you hope
like hell that the damned thing doesn't backfire whilst starting because as
it is full of fuel and priming fluid, it will almost certainly catch fire if
it does backfire. (Hawker Typhoons and Tempest were particularly nasty for
that).
To my mind, starting any 20 litre plus capacity aero engine is a work of
art, no matter if it's Round, V shaped, Square or even W or X shaped.
And they ALL sound bloody fantastic.


Jet engines SUCK! :-)

(Pun intended)
--

Jeff Cochrane - VK4BOF
Innisfail
QLD
Australia




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Steven P. McNicoll wrote:
Bruce R wrote:


Turbine engines ARE round engines.



Yeah but ... yeah but ... REAL round engines have other smaller round
bits attached to them. :-)


Graham