Aw ****s and Bravo Zulus

Everyone knows that one wipes out a career full of attaboys. What is your
favorite non-fatal "aw ****" story? I thought we could also make a thread and
tell about the best flying each of us encountered.

On Ike in 1980, we had Whales. Either one or two of the massive things, but
they were infrequent visitors and our flight deck crew adapted to their
periodic arrivals and departures. On one of the evolutions where the A-3 was
aboard, the poderous thing trundled over to the port bow cat and got ready to
go, but went down for a black box. The "board guy" (never knew what they
called the man that held up the board telling both the pilot and the catapault
crew how much that particular aircraft weighed) did his thing but the launch
didn't happen. The director taxiied the giant clear of the cat, allowing the
A-7 waiting behind the JBD to slide up and take its place. The A-3 cleared the
area with some difficulty (manuevering a bull in a china shop is a good mental
picture of the situation), and all I can think of is that this unfamiliar sight
temporarily distracted the cat crew. At any rate, the A-7, weighing probably
about 1/3rd of that flying brontosaurus, was now sitting on a cat set to launch
something two thirds larger than himself. The mistake was not caught and in a
flash, literally, the A-7 was flung skyward with quite a bit more oomph than
was necessary - in fact, it looked like it was shot out of a cannon! The force
was enough to detach the extremely large belly pan underneath the Corsair and
several panels came off in the slipstream. The pilot, pinned backwards in his
seat, must have wondered what hit him, but he kept the flailing A-7 out of the
water and made one of the quickest patterns I've seen, bringing it straight
back around to land, approximately three to five minutes after launch. Hitting
the deck loosened up other panels and left a trail of zeus fittings and other
hardware bouncing down the deck. The pilot, glaring, stomped off the deck to
find a Cat&Arresting Gear officer to have for lunch...

Now, for Bravo Zulus, I have to mention HSL-33's LCDR Steele - flying off the
coast of San Diego, he had a rotor blade come apart, slinging parts in all
directions and creating such massive vibrations that the crewman was nearly
knocked out by his own helmet. The copilot was thrown up and down so heavily
that he could not maintain grasp on the controls. As the crippled H-2 fell out
of the sky, two out of the three man crew knew they were about to die. But
LCDR John Steele, Man of Action, grabbed the 'snake by the balls and guided it
down safely to a "Look Mom!" landing in the middle of hundreds of scantily clad
beach-goers on Silver Strand beach. No injuries, helo intact. Try that, only
using four out of five rotor blades! (I don't know about the other pilots, but
Steele never had to beg for a crewman to ride with him again!) Later, this
same magnificent aviator guided an H-46 down onto the deck of a passing ship (I
think USS Reid?) thousands of feet below him after his Seaknight nearly broke
in half in flight. Again, no deaths. On the pilot scale (1 being Lt.
"Iiiiii've g-g-g-got c-c-control" McDonald and 10 being Bill Dana), Commander
Steele was up there with CDR John Gana at about an 8.5. Steele wasn't lucky -
just very well equipped mentally for just about any emergency. My kind of
pilot!

v/r
Gordon

My biggest career "Aw ****"...
3 years on recruiting duty (It was the longest 7 years of my life).

....and yes, it does wipe out thousands of attaboys..
Regards,

On 01 Dec 2003 17:22:40 GMT, nt (Gordon) wrote:

Everyone knows that one wipes out a career full of attaboys. What is your
favorite non-fatal "aw ****" story? I thought we could also make a thread and
tell about the best flying each of us encountered.
snipped...

Not sure what category this one falls into, but . . .

In the early 1970s, a VA-95 crew launched on a night VFR bombing mission,
lugging two MERs worth of the mighty MK-76 air-to-ground weapon against the
treacherous Commie bus hulks infesting the Plaster City target area.

Our Lizards checked in, acquired the "target" and commenced several
satisfying runs punctuated with the appropriate number of flashes, and
departed the area with all MERs empty.

However their return was greeted by a delegation of senior folks who
immediately escorted them to one of those rooms with a long green felt
covering on the table. Seems that, while they had dumped their ordnance on
the range, the "target" they'd hit was a group of campers who had sneaked
onto the range VERY close to the real target and whose campfires lay in
approximately the same general "X" pattern as the night bullseye markings.

Fortunately, no one was hurt. But there were several vehicles and camper
shells that were much the worse for wear. The whole thing officially ended
in one of those "we won't sue you for violating the law (and being stupid)
if you won't sue us for poor target recognition skills" agreements.

Epilogue: During the one-day safety standown following the Camper Attack,
Eric-The-Lizard-AI-Guy posted an additional set of recognition photos in the
ready room:

Winnebago, Leer, etc.

Owl sends.
--
Mike Kanze

"I never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back."

- Zsa Zsa Gabor


"Gordon" wrote in message
...
Everyone knows that one wipes out a career full of attaboys. What is your
favorite non-fatal "aw ****" story? I thought we could also make a thread
and
tell about the best flying each of us encountered.

On Ike in 1980, we had Whales. Either one or two of the massive things,
but
they were infrequent visitors and our flight deck crew adapted to their
periodic arrivals and departures. On one of the evolutions where the A-3
was
aboard, the poderous thing trundled over to the port bow cat and got ready
to
go, but went down for a black box. The "board guy" (never knew what they
called the man that held up the board telling both the pilot and the
catapault
crew how much that particular aircraft weighed) did his thing but the
launch
didn't happen. The director taxiied the giant clear of the cat, allowing
the
A-7 waiting behind the JBD to slide up and take its place. The A-3
cleared the
area with some difficulty (manuevering a bull in a china shop is a good
mental
picture of the situation), and all I can think of is that this unfamiliar
sight
temporarily distracted the cat crew. At any rate, the A-7, weighing
probably
about 1/3rd of that flying brontosaurus, was now sitting on a cat set to
launch
something two thirds larger than himself. The mistake was not caught and
in a
flash, literally, the A-7 was flung skyward with quite a bit more oomph
than
was necessary - in fact, it looked like it was shot out of a cannon! The
force
was enough to detach the extremely large belly pan underneath the Corsair
and
several panels came off in the slipstream. The pilot, pinned backwards in
his
seat, must have wondered what hit him, but he kept the flailing A-7 out of
the
water and made one of the quickest patterns I've seen, bringing it
straight
back around to land, approximately three to five minutes after launch.
Hitting
the deck loosened up other panels and left a trail of zeus fittings and
other
hardware bouncing down the deck. The pilot, glaring, stomped off the deck
to
find a Cat&Arresting Gear officer to have for lunch...

Now, for Bravo Zulus, I have to mention HSL-33's LCDR Steele - flying off
the
coast of San Diego, he had a rotor blade come apart, slinging parts in all
directions and creating such massive vibrations that the crewman was
nearly
knocked out by his own helmet. The copilot was thrown up and down so
heavily
that he could not maintain grasp on the controls. As the crippled H-2
fell out
of the sky, two out of the three man crew knew they were about to die.
But
LCDR John Steele, Man of Action, grabbed the 'snake by the balls and
guided it
down safely to a "Look Mom!" landing in the middle of hundreds of scantily
clad
beach-goers on Silver Strand beach. No injuries, helo intact. Try that,
only
using four out of five rotor blades! (I don't know about the other
pilots, but
Steele never had to beg for a crewman to ride with him again!) Later,
this
same magnificent aviator guided an H-46 down onto the deck of a passing
ship (I
think USS Reid?) thousands of feet below him after his Seaknight nearly
broke
in half in flight. Again, no deaths. On the pilot scale (1 being Lt.
"Iiiiii've g-g-g-got c-c-control" McDonald and 10 being Bill Dana),
Commander
Steele was up there with CDR John Gana at about an 8.5. Steele wasn't
lucky -
just very well equipped mentally for just about any emergency. My kind of
pilot!

v/r
Gordon

Everyone knows that one wipes out a career full of attaboys. What is your
favorite non-fatal "aw ****" story? I thought we could also make a thread
and
tell about the best flying each of us encountered.


I was in VA-95. Fly off during work ups mid 80's from the Enterprise we had
been up for 36 hours or so not counting the cat naps. Since the fly off happens
early in the morning we needed to pack up our gear for the off load since we
would be on the fly off. Then since it is a the work ups and the ships needs to
get the Norex qual done we go down to CVIC and get our foil packs and this time
we don't have to carry "Simulated" weapons but they do hang a single MK 76 on
some of the planes so we have to fly the profile and stop by NFL on our way to
NUW.
I'm dash 2 of a section. I think I was in a KA-6d regardless I didn't have a
"weapon" so I flew with my lead over to Fallon and they make their "Really
Ready" I just lag behind and since it is only a MK 76 they stay at altitude
and do a 40 degree high dive. I'm about 200 yards in trail for the dive just
kind of a sloppy loose form keeping lead in sight and figure I will make an
easy rejoin on the way out. So here we are in a dive I'm watching lead and
thinking that I may not even see the MK 76 fall off the plane since it is small
and I am looking only at the tail aspect. When all of a sudden I see this big
flash and then a drop tank comes off the leads plane it tumbles off the plane
end over end. I pull off real quick since this is something I didn't expect and
who knows what else may come off the leads plane. They pull off and I don't
know if my excited calls or they felt the Drop tank hit the plane but by the
time I rendevous on the right side the BN is sitting there shaking his head. It
was a switcholigy SNFU all the crews fault they selected the drop tank.... No
wait a second it wasn't a drop tank it was a Blivot! It had everybodys dop kit
as well as other incidentals. He dropped the Blivot!!!! Man will this cost big
time at the bar!!!
We had a trusted agent working at strike U ( Orders to the Squadron) so he went
out to the range and spent a day or two looking for our dirty skivies. He
finally located the Blivot it was 6oclock and 6000'. One of the guys who loaded
his stuff in the Blivot had a can of powdered supliment r=that the weight
lifters take it was located in the back of the Blivot so that when it hit it
was forced through everyone elses gear rendering everything unusable. At the
B/N hfairwell we presented him with the pounds of stuff he had destroyed by his
error.
I guess his carreer survived. I saw him 6 months ago as a 3 star BG commander
on a TV interview. I guess the CO forgot to mention this little lesson learned
on his detachment Fit Rep. Trade school ya know.
Sparky
Sorry for the typos

"Gordon" wrote in message
...
Commander Steele was up there with CDR John Gana at about an 8.5. Steele
wasn't lucky -
just very well equipped mentally for just about any emergency. My kind of
pilot!

v/r
Gordon

Must heartily concur with the assesment of CDR John Gana. One of those
pilots where strapping on an H-2 was the equivalent of putting on a glove.
If he could think it, the H-2 did it. A very laid back guy, unless, of
course, one displayed constant incompetence at the controls. Gordon can
probably relate better than I one particular instance. It was supposed to be
one of those "good deal" cross-countries that degraded so fast into a
two-day sentence to purgatory we ran screaming the next time we were offered
one (but that's another story). Anyway, CDR Gana and a LT (whose name
escapes me) were our HAC and H2P respectively. Once airborne and in the lane
CDR Gana turns the aircraft over to the "youngster" and proceeds to start a
leak check on his eyelids. After approximately 5 minutes, the air moving
through the slipstream starts creeping into the cockpit and pushes over the
delicately balanced head of the HAC. This interrupts the aforesaid leak
check and prompts a one word ICS call: "Ball". Placing trust and confidence
in the youngsters ability to follow his instruction, the leak check
re-commenced. Another 5 minutes and the little drama is repeated exactly,
word for word. Except the ICS call was just a little louder. Like the H2P
didn't hear him the first time. Another 5 minutes, another rude awakening.
This time, CDR Gana, my favorite pilot of all time, swore. "Ball dammit!"
Gordon and I are in the back, with eyes like saucers. Both thinking the
exact same thing: "Did you hear that?" The reader must understand that CDR
Gana was UNFLAPPABLE. This guy flew H-2's in Vietnam and nothing ever got
his blood up and we NEVER heard him raise his voice. Apparently, this LT
discovered that not keeping the turn-and-bank centered, ie: displaying
piloting incompetence, was the proper way to get under CDR Gana's skin. So,
now realizing he will not get his little nap, CDR Gana takes the controls.
Not another word was uttered in the cockpit until we made ready to land.
Don't know if the youngster was chastised or not, the CDR would never do
that in front of others. He was a real class act.

Michael E. Fenyes
AW HSL-33 '83 - '86

Here's an AF DS/BZ that curled our hair when we got the FlySafe flash.
57TFS at Iceland had F4Es painted USAFE green, etc. Someone decided
North Atlantic grey would be better. So one by one the birds were
sprayed grey all over. Now, the F4E wings do fold - they're manual
instead of power and there's no lock control in the cockpit. The
manual control is in the left wheel well. Anyway, the frshly painted
bird is on the schedule and off it goes. About halfway down the runway
the RIO lets out a squawk and the bird promptly pitches up off the
deck below rotation speed. BTW it's got three full external tanks hung
on it so the CG is already well aft. The front seater is pushing the
stick forward as the RIO is yelling the wings are unlocked - front
seater can't get the nose down so he rolls the bird inverted ad now
the nose is coming 'down' real fast. He rolls upright and avoids
hitting the ground and in a series of half rolls and full AB they
manage to get to a friendlier altitude. They do some fuel management
to get the CG as far forward as possible, run an approach to slower
speed and find they can make an approach at around 220 and the wing
outer panels will stay down. They get down okay, use the mid-field
arresting gear to stop (thanks for the hook, Navy!) and taxi back in.
The WingCo meets the A/C and they have a little conversation - the
gist being one 'well-done' cancels one 'aw-****'. Seems the tell-tale
unlock pins had their nice bright red over-sprayed dark grey and
everybody missed them sticking up out of the wings. (BTW after flying
the 104 I always wondered how an F4 would go minus the outer wing
panels and the CG readjusted.)
Walt BJ

Mike, that one sounds like the S-3A "kill" in GW1 - they went in to bomb in a
glide and the pilot pickled his aux tank instead of (or in addition to) the
bombs. Any kill though...right?

v/r
Gordon

(BTW after flying
the 104 I always wondered how an F4 would go minus the outer wing
panels and the CG readjusted.)
Walt

Walt, only a fighter jock thinks like that!

v/r
Gordon

"WaltBJ" wrote in message
om...
(BTW after flying the 104 I always wondered how an F4 would go minus the
outer wing
panels and the CG readjusted.) Walt BJ

It probably would have to go in burner, and wouldn't go long enough to get
to the tanker. But it would be a hell of a ride while it lasted.

Red Rider

Hey! Its Mikoyan!

Anyway, CDR Gana and a LT (whose name
escapes me) were our HAC and H2P respectively.

LT "OOOOOKKKKK" ring a bell? (The guy said, "OK", before every single
sentence.)


This time, CDR Gana, my favorite pilot of all time, swore. "Ball dammit!"

Like it was yesterday, Mike. Sure got a laugh out of that one.

Don't know if the youngster was chastised or not, the CDR would never do
that in front of others. He was a real class act.

Probably still is - I doubt the Brown Water Navy ruined him... He and Henry H
Brus III are the two finest officers I ever served under, and I'd proudly
follow them still.

Good to see you again, Mike. Call us in San Diego - but this time, stay off
Guard.

yf
Gordon

(Gurevich, for old time's sake)