OT - Maintenance Humor

You might work in aircraft maintenance If...

1. You've ever slept on the concrete under a wing

2. You've ever said, "Oh yes sir, it's supposed to look like that."

3. You've ever sucked OXY to cure a hangover.

4. You know what JP4/JP8 tastes like.

5. You've ever used a grease pencil to fix an overworn tire.

6. You have a better benchstock in the pockets of your coveralls than the
supply system.

7. You've ever used a piece of safety wire as a toothpick.

8. You've ever had to say, "My boots are still black!" (or ever
spray-painted them black)

9. You refer to a pilot as a "stick actuator."

10. You've ever been told to go get "some prop wash and a yard of
flightline."

11. You've ever worked a 14 hour shift on a aircraft that isn't flying the
next day.

12. You've ever said "as long as she starts every other try you'll be fine
sir."
13. You believe the aircraft has a soul.

14. You talk to the aircraft.

15. You've ever said, "That nav light burned out after launch."

16. You've ever used a wheel chock as a hammer.

17. The only thing you know about any city is where the good bars are.

18. You know more about your co-workers than you do about your own family.

19. You've ever looked for pictures of "your" aircraft in aviation books.

20. You can't figure out why maintenance officers exist.

21. You ever wished the pilot would just say, "Great aircraft!"

22. You take it as a badge of honor to be just called "a Det Hound."

23. You relieve yourself more often outdoors than indoors.

24. You can't comprehend why everyone doesn't want to be a Maintainer.

25. You think everyone who isn't a Maintainer is a wimp....

26. You can sleep anywhere, anytime, but as soon as the engines shut down
you are wide awake.

27. You've ever stood on wheel chocks to keep your feet dry.

28. Used dykes to trim a fingernail.

29. Wiped leaks immediately prior to crew show.

30. Worn someone else's hat to chow.

31. All you care about is the flying schedule and your days off.

32. Wondered where they keep finding the idiots that keep making up stupid
rules.

33. You've ever had to defuel an aircraft an hour after refueling it.

34. You've ever wondered why it takes a college degree to break an airplane
but only a high
school diploma to fix one.

From: "jc"


29. Wiped leaks immediately prior to crew show.


Also known as a rag wrench.

Dan, U. S. Air Force, retired

"jc" wrote in message ...
You might work in aircraft maintenance If...


5. You've ever used a grease pencil to fix an overworn tire.

29. Wiped leaks immediately prior to crew show.

These two explain a lot! This kind of maintenance is why we never
could get anything at the central hub station fixed on the first try.
We pretty much relied on the out stations where we laid over to fix
the hard stuff. These guys were our pals at the bar as well.

My favorite hub mtc remark was: "well it flew in here didn't it?
It'll fly out O.K!"

pacplyer

"just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to kill
you"

How about: Yeah we found some metal in the screen but nothing big enough to
show part numbers.
Or: Torque? All you can do with both hands and 1/4 turn more.
Stu Fields Ex SAC
"pacplyer" wrote in message
om...
"jc" wrote in message
...
You might work in aircraft maintenance If...


5. You've ever used a grease pencil to fix an overworn tire.

29. Wiped leaks immediately prior to crew show.

These two explain a lot! This kind of maintenance is why we never
could get anything at the central hub station fixed on the first try.
We pretty much relied on the out stations where we laid over to fix
the hard stuff. These guys were our pals at the bar as well.

My favorite hub mtc remark was: "well it flew in here didn't it?
It'll fly out O.K!"

pacplyer

"just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to kill
you"