New Air Force Body Armor

When Canadian Air Force pilots go into battle in Afghanistan later this
year, they will have a decided edge with the introduction of the full-body
armor system known as C.U.T.I.E. - Combat Uniform Technology Innovation
Equipment. During a press briefing held at the Joint Combat Forces
Equipment Test Establishment in Stubblejump, Saskatchewan, Vice Admiral
Alvin 'Ro Ro' Yerboat, Director General of Really Neat Fighting Kit,
outlined the unique features of C.U.T.I.E. "The air-conditioned system is
fully computerized and features an advanced heads-up display on the face
shield. It also interfaces with the aircraft's electronic systems allowing
the pilot to multi-task with little effort." When asked about the strength
of C.U.T.I.E,, the Vice Admiral carried on by explaining that it is capable
of deflecting all rounds up to and including 57 mm. In the unfortunate
event that the pilot is forced down while engaging the enemy, he can count
on his trusty Excalibur Mk. 2 sword to behead or hack off other body parts
in one fell swoop. Final tests will be carried out in March before
introducing the system into the Canadian Air Force inventory.