The Great Waldo Springer ...

Kilt him a polar b'ar when he was only two (barehanded) and at three he
taught hisself to fly a Poo Dee Seal and landed his leading edge slatted
Woody's Pusher with spoilers and fliperons (built by hisself and his brother
Dildo from local crabapplewood they hewed and carved theirselves) and a 38
Ford Flathead with split manifold and 12-to-1 pistons and 2 Hitachi
superchargers onto a 3-mile high cliff in Wenatchee with hundred-foot-high
orchards on either end. Oh, and the prop he and Dildo carved theirselves
from a huge billet of carbon fiber.

And that warn't all. That daunting little airstrip had a 40% grade and a
180 degree* doglaig in it and was only 10 foot wide, barbed wire fence on
either side and his grammaw's cowpasture full of bulls and angry longhorm
heifers,** and surrounded by Mt. Rainier and Mt. Whitney and Mt. Hood and
then another mountain twiced as high as them and a active belching,
foul-bowelled, soot-spewin' volcano to boot. Yep, and to top it all his
first landing was in a cyclone, 100 knots, gusting to 200 and windshear thet
tore off a spoiler and bent his trimtab.*** Whereupon his proud granny (who
raised him while his maw worked the streets of Portland) treated him and
Dildo to a nice wetnursin' of grammaw's milk.













*He always claimed it to be 360 but everbody knows he exajjerates a little.
**Reputed to be quite a heifer herself in that vicinity.
***Did I fergit to mention that there ledgendairy, death-defyin' landing was
downwind and he got her stopped just berfore she plummitted over the
presi****?