Way OT... help a fellow pilot answer a quiz

My sister in Alabama sent me this. I want to answer all the questions
correctly so I can show her how smart I really am.
Thanks in advance.

The Redneck Challenge

We are sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people are in the South,
and we challenge any so-called smart Yankee to take this exam:

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will
support a 10 pound possum.

2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks
in your front yard?
(A) '65 Ford Fairlane
( B) '69 Chevrolet Chevelle
(C) '64 Pontiac GTO.

3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20
gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required
to condense the product?

4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The density
of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot
is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many
Budweisers will be drunk before the trees are cut down?

5. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a
field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16
feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch
collapses, how many dogs will be killed?

6. A man owns a Georgia house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an
average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown
children place a mobile home on the man's land and still have enough
property for their electric appliances to sit out front?

7. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep
slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average
traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it
will strike a vehicle with a muffler?

8. With a gene pool reduction of of 7.5% per generation, how long will
it take a town which has been bypassed by the Interstate to breed a
country-western singer?

I betcha thought that there test was gonna be an easy one, didn't ya?
It's okay if'n ya didn't do all that well. Just goes to show ya...

There's a hole heap of things that big city book-learning don't prepare
ya for in this life.

As an added bonus for taking the "REDNECK CHALLENGE", here's some
southerly advice that may come in handy down the road a piece...

Next time you are too drunk to drive, walk to the nearest pizza shop and
place an order. When they go to deliver it, catch a ride home with them.

"john smith" wrote in message
...

My sister in Alabama sent me this. I want to answer all the questions
correctly so I can show her how smart I really am.
Thanks in advance.

The Redneck Challenge

We are sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people are in the South,
and we challenge any so-called smart Yankee to take this exam:


I think the Bandit (Burt Reynolds) said it best when he said, "How dumb you
are depends on where you're standing." Something like that, anyway.

"john smith" wrote in message
...
My sister in Alabama sent me this. I want to answer all the questions
correctly so I can show her how smart I really am.
Thanks in advance.

The Redneck Challenge

We are sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people are in the South,
and we challenge any so-called smart Yankee to take this exam:

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will
support a 10 pound possum.
How far out?

2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks
in your front yard?
(A) '65 Ford Fairlane
( B) '69 Chevrolet Chevelle
(C) '64 Pontiac GTO.

A fords always rust out first
3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20
gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required
to condense the product?
10 everyone knows it 2 gallons per radiatior unless your using imported
radiators that its 15, them jap ones dont have the capacity.

4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The density
of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot
is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many
Budweisers will be drunk before the trees are cut down?

This was is infinite. The job will never get done and they will never stop
drinkin

5. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a
field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16
feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch
collapses, how many dogs will be killed?

0 Dogs are in the house sleeping in the master bedroom. ( unless thats the
porch HMMM)

6. A man owns a Georgia house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an
average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown
children place a mobile home on the man's land and still have enough
property for their electric appliances to sit out front?

Only if 3 of them are gay.

7. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep
slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average
traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it
will strike a vehicle with a muffler?
Better yet whats the odds of missing one?

8. With a gene pool reduction of of 7.5% per generation, how long will
it take a town which has been bypassed by the Interstate to breed a
country-western singer?

Wiith or with out all its fingers and toes.

I betcha thought that there test was gonna be an easy one, didn't ya?
It's okay if'n ya didn't do all that well. Just goes to show ya...

There's a hole heap of things that big city book-learning don't prepare
ya for in this life.

As an added bonus for taking the "REDNECK CHALLENGE", here's some
southerly advice that may come in handy down the road a piece...

Next time you are too drunk to drive, walk to the nearest pizza shop and
place an order. When they go to deliver it, catch a ride home with them.

In a previous article, john smith said:
As an added bonus for taking the "REDNECK CHALLENGE", here's some
southerly advice that may come in handy down the road a piece...

Next time you are too drunk to drive, walk to the nearest pizza shop and
place an order. When they go to deliver it, catch a ride home with them.

Southerly advice, hell. I used to do that at the University of Waterloo
in Waterloo, Ontario in the early 1980s.

--
Paul Tomblin http://xcski.com/blogs/pt/
As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not
certain, and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.
-- Albert Einstein

In Canada, Waterloo is Deep South.

Seth

"Paul Tomblin" wrote in message
...
In a previous article, john smith said:
As an added bonus for taking the "REDNECK CHALLENGE", here's some
southerly advice that may come in handy down the road a piece...

Next time you are too drunk to drive, walk to the nearest pizza shop and
place an order. When they go to deliver it, catch a ride home with them.

Southerly advice, hell. I used to do that at the University of Waterloo
in Waterloo, Ontario in the early 1980s.

--
Paul Tomblin http://xcski.com/blogs/pt/
As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not
certain, and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.
-- Albert Einstein

In a previous article, "Seth Masia" said:
In Canada, Waterloo is Deep South.

Even worse, the guy who taught me the trick was from Ancaster.


--
Paul Tomblin http://xcski.com/blogs/pt/
The superior pilot uses his superior judgement to avoid situations in which he
has to demonstrate his superior skill.