Getting rid of turbines. (grin)

We gotta get rid of turbines, they are ruining aviation. We need to go back to
big round engines. Anybody can start a turbine, you just need to move a switch
from "OFF" to "START," and then remember to move it back to "ON" after a while.
My PC is harder to start. Cranking a round engine requires skill, finesse and
style. On some planes, the pilots are not even allowed to do it.

Turbines start by whining for a while, then give a small lady-like poot and
start whining louder.

Round engines give a satisfying rattle-rattle, click-click BANG, more rattles,
another BANG, a big macho f..t or two, more clicks, a lot of smoke and finally
a serious low pitched roar. We like that. It's a guy thing. When you start a
round engine, your mind is engaged and you can concentrate on the flight ahead.


Starting a turbine is like flicking on a ceiling fan: Useful, but hardly
exciting. Turbines don't break often enough, leading to aircrew boredom,
complacency and inattention. A round engine at speed looks and sounds like it's
going to blow at any minute. This helps concentrate the mind. Turbines don't
have enough control levers to keep a pilot's attention. There's nothing to
fiddle with during the flight.

Turbines smell like a Boy Scout camp full of Coleman lanterns. Round engines
smell like God intended flying machines to smell.

I think I hear the nurse coming down the hall. I gotta go.
Arthur Kramer
344th BG 494th BS
England, France, Belgium, Holland, Germany
Visit my WW II B-26 website at:
http://www.coastcomp.com/artkramer

"ArtKramr" wrote in message
...

We gotta get rid of turbines, they are ruining aviation. We need to go
back to
big round engines. Anybody can start a turbine, you just need to move a
switch
from "OFF" to "START," and then remember to move it back to "ON" after a
while.
My PC is harder to start. Cranking a round engine requires skill, finesse
and
style. On some planes, the pilots are not even allowed to do it.

Turbines start by whining for a while, then give a small lady-like poot
and
start whining louder.

Round engines give a satisfying rattle-rattle, click-click BANG, more
rattles,
another BANG, a big macho f..t or two, more clicks, a lot of smoke and
finally
a serious low pitched roar. We like that. It's a guy thing. When you start
a
round engine, your mind is engaged and you can concentrate on the flight
ahead.


Starting a turbine is like flicking on a ceiling fan: Useful, but hardly
exciting. Turbines don't break often enough, leading to aircrew boredom,
complacency and inattention. A round engine at speed looks and sounds like
it's
going to blow at any minute. This helps concentrate the mind. Turbines
don't
have enough control levers to keep a pilot's attention. There's nothing to
fiddle with during the flight.

Turbines smell like a Boy Scout camp full of Coleman lanterns. Round
engines
smell like God intended flying machines to smell.


Turbines ARE big round engines.

"ArtKramr" wrote in message
...

Round engines smell like God intended flying machines to smell.

You mean like bird ****?

Si

(ArtKramr) wrote:

We gotta get rid of turbines, they are ruining aviation. We need to go back to
big round engines. Anybody can start a turbine, you just need to move a switch
from "OFF" to "START," and then remember to move it back to "ON" after a while.
My PC is harder to start. Cranking a round engine requires skill, finesse and
style. On some planes, the pilots are not even allowed to do it.

Turbines start by whining for a while, then give a small lady-like poot and
start whining louder.

Round engines give a satisfying rattle-rattle, click-click BANG, more rattles,
another BANG, a big macho f..t or two, more clicks, a lot of smoke and finally
a serious low pitched roar. We like that. It's a guy thing. When you start a
round engine, your mind is engaged and you can concentrate on the flight ahead.


Starting a turbine is like flicking on a ceiling fan: Useful, but hardly
exciting. Turbines don't break often enough, leading to aircrew boredom,
complacency and inattention. A round engine at speed looks and sounds like it's
going to blow at any minute. This helps concentrate the mind. Turbines don't
have enough control levers to keep a pilot's attention. There's nothing to
fiddle with during the flight.

Turbines smell like a Boy Scout camp full of Coleman lanterns. Round engines
smell like God intended flying machines to smell.

I think I hear the nurse coming down the hall. I gotta go.
Arthur Kramer

Isn't that from Bob McKeller?...I know I've read it before and
thought I'd saved it (I love it) but I can't find it. It's either
Bob's or George Z's...(Bob I think...)
--

-Gord.

"Gord Beaman" wrote in message
...
(ArtKramr) wrote:


I think I hear the nurse coming down the hall. I gotta go.
Arthur Kramer

Isn't that from Bob McKeller?...I know I've read it before and
thought I'd saved it (I love it) but I can't find it. It's either
Bob's or George Z's...(Bob I think...)

Groupies.

"ArtKramr" wrote in message
[snip]
Turbines start by whining for a while, then give a small lady-like poot
and
start whining louder.

Round engines give a satisfying rattle-rattle, click-click BANG, more
rattles,
another BANG, a big macho f..t or two, more clicks, a lot of smoke and
finally
a serious low pitched roar. We like that. It's a guy thing.

If you have ever been around a low bypass turbofan operating at max AB,
you'll know what a macho motor is . Your chest cavity resonates with a low
frequency rumble and the ground shakes beneath your feet. Its like taking a
shot of testosterone.

Round motors are for kids .... :-)

Mark Johnston

"I love the smell of JP-8 in the morning ..."

wrote:

"ArtKramr" wrote in message
[snip]
Turbines start by whining for a while, then give a small lady-like poot
and
start whining louder.

Round engines give a satisfying rattle-rattle, click-click BANG, more
rattles,
another BANG, a big macho f..t or two, more clicks, a lot of smoke and
finally
a serious low pitched roar. We like that. It's a guy thing.

If you have ever been around a low bypass turbofan operating at max AB,
you'll know what a macho motor is . Your chest cavity resonates with a low
frequency rumble and the ground shakes beneath your feet. Its like taking a
shot of testosterone.

Round motors are for kids .... :-)

Mark Johnston

"I love the smell of JP-8 in the morning ..."


Well...I'll tell you what's macho...coming in for a touch and go
with four Wright R-3350's in your left hand (~15,000
horsepower)...touching down, waiting for the flaps to be reset
then the call "DRY POWER!!" and smashing it all on at a carefully
considered rate that just keeps the RPM at a constant 3000 till
it's all on. The acceleration is enough to snap you baldheaded
and it's impossible for the second engineer to stand up without
holding on because there's not enough traction for his boots to
keep him in the cockpit unless he does!! (we tried that) ..that's
macho. Too bad nobody'll have that thrill again!...damn, what
fun!...

And the silly buggers *paid* us to do that!!... (damned good
thing that they didn't know that we'd have done it for free!)...

--

-Gord.

Subject: Getting rid of turbines. (grin)
From:
Date: 12/4/03 4:51 PM Pacific Standard Time
Message-id: .net

"ArtKramr" wrote in message
[snip]
Turbines start by whining for a while, then give a small lady-like poot
and
start whining louder.

Round engines give a satisfying rattle-rattle, click-click BANG, more
rattles,
another BANG, a big macho f..t or two, more clicks, a lot of smoke and
finally
a serious low pitched roar. We like that. It's a guy thing.

If you have ever been around a low bypass turbofan operating at max AB,
you'll know what a macho motor is . Your chest cavity resonates with a low
frequency rumble and the ground shakes beneath your feet. Its like taking a
shot of testosterone.

Round motors are for kids .... :-)

Mark Johnston

"I love the smell of JP-8 in the morning ..."




Guess you never rode between two roaring R-2800's high over Germany with flak
bursts singing in hamony with the Pratt and Whitney double Wasps? .Music to our
ears. .Turbines are for girls. Little girls.(;-))



Arthur Kramer
344th BG 494th BS
England, France, Belgium, Holland, Germany
Visit my WW II B-26 website at:
http://www.coastcomp.com/artkramer

(ArtKramr) wrote:



Guess you never rode between two roaring R-2800's high over Germany with flak
bursts singing in hamony with the Pratt and Whitney double Wasps? .Music to our
ears. .Turbines are for girls. Little girls.(;-))



Arthur Kramer

Yep, say Art, that -is- McKellar's piece isn't it?...I did look
for your attribution for it but couldn't find it. I'm sure you
would have acknowledged the author, guess my cheap newsreader
missed that important part.

I'll hafta see if I can afford a good newsreader that won't do
that.
--

-Gord.

"ArtKramr" wrote in message
...
Subject: Getting rid of turbines. (grin)
From:
Date: 12/4/03 4:51 PM Pacific Standard Time
Message-id: .net

"ArtKramr" wrote in message
[snip]
Turbines start by whining for a while, then give a small lady-like poot
and
start whining louder.

Round engines give a satisfying rattle-rattle, click-click BANG, more
rattles,
another BANG, a big macho f..t or two, more clicks, a lot of smoke and
finally
a serious low pitched roar. We like that. It's a guy thing.

If you have ever been around a low bypass turbofan operating at max AB,
you'll know what a macho motor is . Your chest cavity resonates with a
low
frequency rumble and the ground shakes beneath your feet. Its like
taking a
shot of testosterone.

Round motors are for kids .... :-)

Mark Johnston

"I love the smell of JP-8 in the morning ..."




Guess you never rode between two roaring R-2800's high over Germany with
flak
bursts singing in hamony with the Pratt and Whitney double Wasps? .Music
to our
ears. .Turbines are for girls. Little girls.(;-))



Arthur Kramer
344th BG 494th BS
England, France, Belgium, Holland, Germany
Visit my WW II B-26 website at:
http://www.coastcomp.com/artkramer

Flew a Bearcat with a 2800. It's a great engine. They did manage to stick a
4360 in a Corsair. The numbers were quite impressive,
I wish I could have flown it....just once. Just starting the damn thing was
a day's work. :-))
Dudley Henriques
International Fighter Pilots Fellowship
Commercial Pilot/ CFI Retired
For personal email, please replace
the z's with e's.
dhenriquesATzarthlinkDOTnzt