The Impossibility of Flying Heavy Aircraft Without Training

In article , Richard Isakson
says...

As further proof that Chuck's theory doesn't work, I tried an experiment
this morning. I took a pillow off my bed. It is mostly feathers, after
all. To give it a proper test, I hiked up the Ebey's Landing Bluff Trail to
the edge of the cliff. Having great faith in Chuck and fully expecting my
pillow to soar up over my head, I give that pillow a good strong toss ...
Nope. It went staight down. Splat! Right into the Puget Sound.

Thanks to Chuck, I'll be sleeping on a soggy pillow tonight!

Richard, as I was lamenting your tale of woe I decided to see why you got the
result you did . So I embarked on a non federally funded research project and
made many new scientific discovery's such as:

-Pillows are not Gooses
-Gooses have feathers
-Pillows have down
-Gooses feathers are outside
-Pillows down is inside
-Gooses have down that is in under the feathers
-Gooses are hard to catch ...alive
-Pillows are easy to catch
-Gooses bite...hard
-Pillows are soft
-Gooses keep you awake
-Pillows make you sleepy
-Gooses get grumpy
-Pillows are calm

After obtaining this data I decided to pull all the feathers off a Goose and
leave the down attached.The Goose didn't seem happy, maybe I could get a
research grant to determine if the Gooses get grumpy because they are half naked
or because they're cold.But that's a whole nuther topic. I then proceeded to the
Clark ave bridge (altitude about 75') and pitched this unhappy Goose off to see
him fly .He didn't and boy he was really mad when I went down to
retrieve him.
Then it became obvious that feathers are for flying and down is for "down".
After the first test I thought that possibly I was in an area of high gravity so
I went to where gravity is less ...the airport. Everyone knows airports are
built in low gravity areas.But that's another topic in itself as to how I
discovered that.I then went to the top of the highest hangar and threw the Goose
off. He failed to fly again and was REALLY ****ed off at me.

So therefore it is logical to conclude that Gooses have 2 types of feathers ,one
for flying and one for landing.Pillows are filled with the "down" feathers
..That's why your pillow went "down" when you launched it. This is an example of
why this type of testing must be conducted by experts.

More research must be done so please send money so this very important research
can continue. I'd also like to get a stunt double for the Goose as well. Now I'm
off to see if the reports of an aviator looping,rolling and spinning a cow are
true!!

See ya

Chuck(fly writer,scientist, alchemist and witch doctor) S






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