How Aircraft Stay In The Air

On Mon, 15 Mar 2004 14:16:42 -0800, Steve Hix
wrote:

In article ,
machf wrote:

But according to that theory, how do bees manage to fly, having no feathers or
hairs on their wings?
;-)

They have wing hairs, but they're *really* tiny:

http://science.exeter.edu/jekstrom/Color/Menu/Bee/Wing/Wing1C.jpg

http://bugscope.beckman.uiuc.edu/mem...sets/preset-3-
640x480.jpg

I was hinting at what they usually say about aerodynamics being unable to
explain how bees can fly (or was it bumblebees?)...

--
__________ ____---____ Marco Antonio Checa Funcke
\_________D /-/---_----' Santiago de Surco, Lima, Peru
_H__/_/ http://machf.tripod.com
'-_____|(

remove the "no_me_j." and "sons.of." parts before replying

Mike Lechnar wrote in message ...
How did this secret information make it into the public domain? I've
been a practicing Aircraft Performance Engineer for the past 26 years
and have always tried to explain how airplanes fly by using the official
public explanations regarding Bernoulli, airfoils and other such rot.
Civilians just weren't ready for the truth. In fact, we generally don't
speak about the magic directly. Most of our plans and estimates usually
end with the phrase "and then a miracle happens".

Mike Lechnar


Mike!

When will Boeing 747 get the "supercritical wing", with almost upper
surface?

B777 has it already!

Somebody wrote that the drag of the B747 could be reduced with some
15-18%, shifting to the new 3 generation "supercritical wing"


Jan-Olov Newborg

On Fri, 27 Feb 2004 16:44:24 -0000, "Sarah Hotdesking"
wrote:

I received this today:-

There are still people in this company who think we weigh aircraft to find
out how much they weigh, not to calculate stresses. Of course we need to
know how much the thing weighs. How are we ever going to know how many
Thrust Pixies we need to get the thing off the ground if we don't know the
weight? Or should that be "Lift Demons"? Pixies have largely fallen into
disrepute - something about Bernoulli not being representative in unbounded
conditions and cause and effect being transposed in the Newtonian model.

In fact the use of Lift Demons on civil aircraft programmes is generally not
that good an idea. The Demon binding contract tends to specify payment in
blood or souls. This is readily achievable with aircraft of military
function, but frowned upon in civilian circles as they may attempt to
acquire payment outside of the terms of their binding contract. Lift Demons
are not used on Elf bombers. We don't talk about Lift Pixies too often as it
seems to upset the self-loading cargo.

Pixies require payment in cakes, flowers or nice thoughts. These are readily
sourced either from the in-flight catering, or provided cost-free by the
passengers. Clearly this would not work well within an operational military
environment. Air force cooking is not renowned for the "light and fluffy
texture" that Thrust Pixies demand, the availability of flowers might be
problematic in desert operations, and nice thoughts may also be hard to find
during times of active operations.

There is also a scalability issue. While one rampant Lift Demon would have
few problems supporting a fighter aircraft (particularly if there is an
immediate prospect of blood), it'll struggle to achieve level controlled
flight of a 560tonne Airbus A380. Use of more than one Lift Demon on the
same flight vehicle is contra-indicated (they squabble and eat each other).
Communities of Thrust Pixies can be encouraged to work together on the same
aircraft by the provision of advanced technologies such as Lemon fondant
icing, variegated tulips or in-flight romantic comedies.

Ryanair once requested Leprachauns be installed in place of Lift Pixies, but
leprechauns have a mission statement which indicates their desire for
monetary gain, and their willingness to search all over the world for it.
This makes Lift Leprechauns expensive to keep (gold vs lemon fondant icing),
and makes it difficult to establish a regular route network as the Lift
Leprechauns don't like to continuously visit the same locations. By law,
aircraft also have to have a full complement of In-Flight Gremlins, but
these are generally not a problem unless you feed the Wingtip Vortex Faeries
after midnight.

Are Harriers equipped with sirens?
--
Jim Watt http://www.gibnet.com

Jim Watt wrote:

:On Fri, 27 Feb 2004 16:44:24 -0000, "Sarah Hotdesking"
wrote:
:
:I received this today:-
:
:There are still people in this company who think we weigh aircraft to find
:out how much they weigh, not to calculate stresses. Of course we need to
:know how much the thing weighs. How are we ever going to know how many
:Thrust Pixies we need to get the thing off the ground if we don't know the
:weight? Or should that be "Lift Demons"? Pixies have largely fallen into
:disrepute - something about Bernoulli not being representative in unbounded
:conditions and cause and effect being transposed in the Newtonian model.
:
:In fact the use of Lift Demons on civil aircraft programmes is generally not
:that good an idea. The Demon binding contract tends to specify payment in
:blood or souls. This is readily achievable with aircraft of military
:function, but frowned upon in civilian circles as they may attempt to
:acquire payment outside of the terms of their binding contract. Lift Demons
:are not used on Elf bombers. We don't talk about Lift Pixies too often as it
:seems to upset the self-loading cargo.
:
:Pixies require payment in cakes, flowers or nice thoughts. These are readily
:sourced either from the in-flight catering, or provided cost-free by the
:passengers. Clearly this would not work well within an operational military
:environment. Air force cooking is not renowned for the "light and fluffy
:texture" that Thrust Pixies demand, the availability of flowers might be
:problematic in desert operations, and nice thoughts may also be hard to find
:during times of active operations.
:
:There is also a scalability issue. While one rampant Lift Demon would have
:few problems supporting a fighter aircraft (particularly if there is an
:immediate prospect of blood), it'll struggle to achieve level controlled
:flight of a 560tonne Airbus A380. Use of more than one Lift Demon on the
:same flight vehicle is contra-indicated (they squabble and eat each other).
:Communities of Thrust Pixies can be encouraged to work together on the same
:aircraft by the provision of advanced technologies such as Lemon fondant
:icing, variegated tulips or in-flight romantic comedies.
:
:Ryanair once requested Leprachauns be installed in place of Lift Pixies, but
:leprechauns have a mission statement which indicates their desire for
:monetary gain, and their willingness to search all over the world for it.
:This makes Lift Leprechauns expensive to keep (gold vs lemon fondant icing),
:and makes it difficult to establish a regular route network as the Lift
:Leprechauns don't like to continuously visit the same locations. By law,
:aircraft also have to have a full complement of In-Flight Gremlins, but
:these are generally not a problem unless you feed the Wingtip Vortex Faeries
:after midnight.
:
:Are Harriers equipped with sirens?

No. That sound is the diving alarm....

"Jim Watt" wrote

Are Harriers equipped with sirens?

No - they are an ill-advised experiment in using water nymphs.

I'm also advised that control surfaces are really pixie playgrounds. Also
to look out for the male water sheep which run around parts of the aircraft.

--
Sarah H
http://www.messybeast.com
http://www.shartwell.freeserve.co.uk...-site/aeth.htm
Aethism - a religion for the 21st Century

In article ,
on Sat, 28 Feb 2004 18:11:26 -0000,
Sarah Hotdesking attempted to
say .....

"Jim Watt" wrote

Are Harriers equipped with sirens?

No - they are an ill-advised experiment in using water nymphs.

Only on the Sea Harriers.


I'm also advised that control surfaces are really pixie playgrounds. Also
to look out for the male water sheep which run around parts of the aircraft.




--
When dealing with propaganda terminology one sometimes always speaks in
variable absolutes. This is not to be mistaken for an unbiased slant.

On Sat, 28 Feb 2004 18:49:02 GMT, Tank Fixer
wrote:

In article ,
on Sat, 28 Feb 2004 18:11:26 -0000,
Sarah Hotdesking attempted to
say .....

"Jim Watt" wrote

Are Harriers equipped with sirens?

No - they are an ill-advised experiment in using water nymphs.

Only on the Sea Harriers.

I was thinking more of the under-sea harriers

--
Jim Watt http://www.gibnet.com

Tank Fixer wrote in message nk.net...
In article ,
on Sat, 28 Feb 2004 18:11:26 -0000,
Sarah Hotdesking attempted to
say .....

"Jim Watt" wrote

Are Harriers equipped with sirens?

No - they are an ill-advised experiment in using water nymphs.

Only on the Sea Harriers.

O I C

I'm also advised that control surfaces are really pixie playgrounds. Also
to look out for the male water sheep which run around parts of the aircraft.
Correct

Sheep do it all! it's the hydralic rams that move the moveable.

"George" wrote in message
om...
Tank Fixer wrote in message
nk.net...
In article ,
on Sat, 28 Feb 2004 18:11:26 -0000,
Sarah Hotdesking attempted
to
say .....

I'm also advised that control surfaces are really pixie playgrounds.
Also
to look out for the male water sheep which run around parts of the
aircraft.
Correct

Sheep do it all! it's the hydraulic rams that move the moveable.

What, even on the flying pigs? Would the pigs feel a little, errm,
sheepish?

Andy Breen is the expert on airborne sheep, but I'll let him explain ....

--
Sarah H
http://www.messybeast.com
http://www.shartwell.freeserve.co.uk...-site/aeth.htm
Aethism - a religion for the 21st Century

"Tank Fixer" wrote in message
k.net...
In article ,
on Sat, 28 Feb 2004 18:11:26 -0000,
Sarah Hotdesking attempted to
say .....

"Jim Watt" wrote

Are Harriers equipped with sirens?

No - they are an ill-advised experiment in using water nymphs.

Only on the Sea Harriers.

Which is a type of submarine, right? We're getting into mermaids now (yes,
I know, there are probably quite a few of you who wouldn't mind getting into
mermaids if you could only work out how ...)

--
Sarah H
http://www.messybeast.com
http://www.shartwell.freeserve.co.uk...-site/aeth.htm
Aethism - a religion for the 21st Century