Tools

("Bart D. Hull" wrote)
[snip]
Then to top it off, depending on what year the MG was, it was positive or
negative ground. Look at the alt wiring BEFORE you connect those cables.


I snapped off two lug bolts on my brother's 63? Dodge pickup trying to
change a flat. Reverse thread on one side. Doh!


Montblack

In article ,
Morgans wrote:

"Stuart & Kathryn Fields" wrote

I now attract a small crowd when I'm working with my tools. They are
thoroughly impressed that I can cuss for 15 minutes without repeating
myself.

ROTFLMAO ! I have to use that line, with your permission! It sounds like
me.

From the trivia page on IMDB for Full Metal Jacket:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093058/trivia

Former US Marines Drill Instructor R. Lee Ermey was hired as a
consultant on how to drill USMC style. He performed a demonstration
on videotape in which he yelled obscene insults and abuse for
fifteen minutes without stopping, repeating himself, or even
flinching - despite being continuously pelted with tennis balls
and oranges. Director Stanley Kubrick was so impressed that he cast
R. Lee Ermey as Gunnery Sergeant Hartmann.


--
John Clear - http://www.clear-prop.org/

Shhhhhhh,
You know Marines can't cuss at recruits during boot camp Little
mommies and daddies may get upset HEE HEE HEE

Patrick
student SPL
aircraft structural mech

"John Clear" wrote in message
...
In article ,
Morgans wrote:

"Stuart & Kathryn Fields" wrote

I now attract a small crowd when I'm working with my tools. They are
thoroughly impressed that I can cuss for 15 minutes without repeating
myself.

ROTFLMAO ! I have to use that line, with your permission! It sounds like
me.

From the trivia page on IMDB for Full Metal Jacket:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093058/trivia

Former US Marines Drill Instructor R. Lee Ermey was hired as a
consultant on how to drill USMC style. He performed a demonstration
on videotape in which he yelled obscene insults and abuse for
fifteen minutes without stopping, repeating himself, or even
flinching - despite being continuously pelted with tennis balls
and oranges. Director Stanley Kubrick was so impressed that he cast
R. Lee Ermey as Gunnery Sergeant Hartmann.


--
John Clear - http://www.clear-prop.org/

Anthony W wrote:

Richard Riley wrote:
On Wed, 07 Sep 2005 03:47:29 GMT, ORVAL FAIRAIRN
wrote:

:I got this one from a friend. How true!
:
:
:Thought you might enjoy these. They are RIGHT on the mark!

But is a list of useless tools complete without Juan?


But juan isn't a tool, he's a knob and a useless one at that.

Tony

Something like "As useful as tits on a bull"!

Stuart & Kathryn Fields wrote:
Don't forget the dreaded C clamp that requires two hands to apply to two
pieces already requiring two hands to hold in place.
Also the uncalibrated torque wrench used to snap off studs that are
thoroughly seized in your crankcase.
The nibbler that is designed to swell your forearm to a new size while it
digests the skin in the web of your hand between the thumb and forefinger.
All of the Tools are necessary items in the Post Doctoral course in cussing.
I now attract a small crowd when I'm working with my tools. They are
thoroughly impressed that I can cuss for 15 minutes without repeating
myself.

Don't forget the english wheel which is terrific for extracting blood
from under one's fingernails.

Dan, U.S. Air Force, retired

UltraJohn wrote:

Anthony W wrote:


Richard Riley wrote:

On Wed, 07 Sep 2005 03:47:29 GMT, ORVAL FAIRAIRN
wrote:

:I got this one from a friend. How true!
:
:
:Thought you might enjoy these. They are RIGHT on the mark!

But is a list of useless tools complete without Juan?


But juan isn't a tool, he's a knob and a useless one at that.

Tony


Something like "As useful as tits on a bull"!

Actually yawn isn't totally worthless. If nothing else he can be
used as a bad example or the before picture in a before and after set.


Dan, U.S. Air Force, retired

"Montblack" wrote

I snapped off two lug bolts on my brother's 63? Dodge pickup trying to
change a flat. Reverse thread on one side. Doh!

Yep, didn't snap one, but sure had me scratching my head. g It isn't as
though the wheel is rotating about the stud, trying to spin the nut off!
--
Jim in NC

Morgans wrote:
I recently topped my best, by shooting a air powered roofing nail, all the
way through my little finger, on the outside of my fingernail, coming out
the middle of the bottom. Ouch!

Well, if it's time for war stories...

My best involved a jigsaw. In a bit of rush, so didn't clamp the work
down solidly. The blade (Did I mention that I get extra use out of every
blade by using them until they're totally blunt?) snagged, the whole saw
jumped so that the blade was about an inch above the work, and,
crucially, higher than my thumb. Down it came, through the thumbnail,
and out the fleshy part of the thumb.

Actually, the worst part was about a week later. The tissue in my thumb
was healing into a big lumpy mass, and the doctor decided that liquid
nitrogen was the way to get rid of it. Tears to the eyes stuff, that is!

On Wed, 7 Sep 2005 19:40:40 -0500, "Montblack"
wrote:

I snapped off two lug bolts on my brother's 63? Dodge pickup trying to
change a flat. Reverse thread on one side. Doh!


Montblack

That would be the left or drivers side of the vehical. One of
Chrysler's committments to better engineering. :-/

The idea was that if a lugnut was loose, the rolling motion of the
wheel on the road would tend to keep the nut from actually turning
itself off the lug.

No other auto manufacturer thought it a snarky enough idea to copy it,
ever.

Corky Scott

I recently topped my best, by shooting a air powered roofing nail, all the
way through my little finger, on the outside of my fingernail, coming out
the middle of the bottom. Ouch!

This coming from a "professional" carpenter! :-)