"Homeland Security" in Iowa

So we took my 26 year old, blonde, blue-eyed, 6' 4" nephew back to the Cedar
Rapids airport last night, to catch his red-eye flight back to Seattle. He
was as sick as a dog (flu?) and weak as a kitten, but go he must, so off he
went...

The "Eastern Iowa Airport" is a pretty sleepy place on a Sunday night --
even the airport bar was closed (gasp!) -- and there were MAYBE 50 people in
the entire airport terminal, including employees. Since we were no longer
allowed to go to the gate with him, we said our goodbyes at the entrance to
the security checkpoint.

This area was staffed by TEN (10!) uniformed TSA guys, waiting to pounce on
the terrorists who were (no doubt) thronging into the heartland. My nephew
strolled through the X-ray machine, passed uneventfully, and then put his
single carry-on bag (a back-pack) on the conveyor...

....from our distance it was obvious that the TSA guys were suddenly tense,
and -- although we were beyond earshot -- it was easy to see that SOMETHING
was wrong. My nephew, weak with flu, stood staring numbly at the people who
had suddenly gathered around him. He was obviously confused.

Soon he was taken to the side. Within 30 seconds two uniformed police
officers strode purposefully past us, coming from another part of the
airport but obviously on their way to see my nephew. The other officers
were holding something that we couldn't quite see, and were speaking quite
seriously to him, all the while keeping him surrounded by a minimum of four
TSA guards.

After 10 minutes of this, they took him into an area we could not see. With
visions of rubber hoses and bright lights, we paced back and forth, unable
to do ANYTHING to help.

What could it be? He certainly fit the terrorist "threat profile" -- for
the "Swedish Liberation Army", perhaps. Since, to our knowledge, Sweden
had not been named an "Axis of Evil" country, we couldn't fathom what had
triggered this response.

After an interminable five minutes he emerged and gave us a weary wave as he
headed off to his gate. Of course we were unable to find out what had gone
wrong, or why he had been detained -- the TSA folks simply would not tell
us, and my nephew had no cell phone.

We drove home wondering what the hell my nephew could have done?

Today my sister called, to drop the other shoe. Turns out my OTHER sister
(his aunt) had given my poor nephew a wrapped Xmas present, to give to his
Dad. Inside this present was a "Leatherman Multi-tool" -- obviously
something that could be used as a weapon! My poor nephew had NO idea what
was in this wrapped gift, and my sister had assumed that he would carry the
present in his "checked" baggage -- not in his "carry-on" baggage. Because
he didn't know if it was breakable, he had opted to carry the present where
it could not be broken.

So, he is now on a permanent list of "potential terrorist threats", is being
threatened with a $50.00 fine, was put through an awful situation over which
he had no control or knowledge, and my sister feels thoroughly awful. He
barely made his flight, and (of course) his Dad didn't receive his Xmas
present, since the TSA confiscated it.

And the final irony of the whole story: the "Leatherman" tool, as with so
many things these days, was sealed in one of those plastic containers that
(you guessed it!) requires a knife or scissors to open...
--
Jay Honeck
Iowa City, IA
Pathfinder N56993
www.AlexisParkInn.com
"Your Aviation Destination"