Least favorite ATC instructions... ... ...

My most favorite dialog went like this:

UALXXX: Tower, United XXX heavy, ready to go, 3L.
DTW: United XXX heavy, hold short runway 3L, you're number 2 behind a
little guy back-taxiing.
UALXXX: Okay, but I don't see him.
Me: Tower, umm, "Little Guy" 12345 in position 3L.
Tower: Little Guy 12345, caution wake turbulence parallel runway, fly
heading 020, clear for takeoff 3L.
Me: Zero two zero, clear for takeoff 3L, Little Guy 12345.
Tower: United XXX heavy, clear for takeoff 3L, caution, Cessna wake
turbulence.

On 22-Dec-2005, Ken Reed wrote:

I did three practice ILS approaches today. I got my favorite ATC
instruction on each of the first two:

1) Cirrus 0CM, slow to 110 knots for the Mooney in front of you.

2) Cirrus 0CM, slow 20 knots for the 737 ahead.

I was at 140 KIAS at the IAF each time.


Most high performance singles can go that fast on approach if you want (or
need) to. What I really like to hear (while cruising at 8000) is "Arrow
41N, you are overtaking traffic ahead. I'll need to move you to 7000 or
9000 for a few miles, your choice."

--
-Elliott Drucker

wrote in message
news:z4rrf.2354$Q73.1263@trnddc03...

What I really like to hear (while cruising at 8000) is "Arrow
41N, you are overtaking traffic ahead. I'll need to move you to 7000 or
9000 for a few miles, your choice."


You dropped the "would" from that sentence.

"caleb" wrote:

My top three a



How about, "N12345, say souls on board and fuel remaining"

How about, "N12345, say souls on board and fuel remaining"

....and add to that "equipment is rolling, cleared to land 26R, no other
traffic in the pattern, is there anything else we can do for you? Roger
that, just try to touch down as smooth and slowly as possible."

Had that one... once.

Jim

As a student pilot still preping for my first cross-country and concerned I
might make a wrong turn, This one tops my list:

"Gelöscht, um Laufbahn 24 zu landen"



Jeff


(used an online translator, dunno if it did it right )

I did an approach into HWD right after getting my IFR ticket.
I got a popup clearance a while out in VMC while I was under
the hood and my friend being the safety pilot. While on the
approach, at some point we went into IMC and broke
out at about 700 feet AGL. The original plan was to fly
down to minimums and then fly back to SQL VFR. Well
I had to land since VFR wasn't possible and the guy in the
tower kindly got a pop up (?) IFR clearance back to SQL.
(a popup is usually from the air although i guess you can get
them on the ground). Anyway he read the clearance back something
like....

"Cherokee N12345, stay on present squawk, climb 2000, cleared
to SQL, right turn 090 on departure."

I started to read it back but was obviously confused as I tried
putting everything in order as I
was reading back in the usual CRATE sequence. Note, he didn't even
give me a departure frequency.

He replied, "Uh, ok, stupid me. Let me try it so even I can
understand it."

Gerald

Heard from Houston TRACON while in the clouds after departing on a void
time clearance:

"Maintain VFR..."

--
Dan
C172RG at BFM

Heard at Oshkosh:

All landing traffic, please look at your magnetic compass. If it says 9,
break off. We are landing on 27.


"caleb" wrote in message
oups.com...
My top three a

1) "TAKE IMMEDIATE EVASIVE ACTION!"

2) "Execute Published Missed Approach WITH OUT DELAY, and hold at the
outer marker"

and as Ben Jackson said:

3) "cleared to land on any runway"

caleb wrote:
My top three a

1) "TAKE IMMEDIATE EVASIVE ACTION!"

2) "Execute Published Missed Approach WITH OUT DELAY, and hold at the
outer marker"

and as Ben Jackson said:

3) "cleared to land on any runway"


I had that #3 one once .. after I told them I had smoke in the
cockpit and needed to be thinking about being back on the ground.