Least favorite ATC instructions... ... ...

Otis Winslow wrote:
caleb wrote:

My top three a

1) "TAKE IMMEDIATE EVASIVE ACTION!"

2) "Execute Published Missed Approach WITH OUT DELAY, and hold at the
outer marker"

and as Ben Jackson said:

3) "cleared to land on any runway"


I had that #3 one once .. after I told them I had smoke in the
cockpit and needed to be thinking about being back on the ground.


How long did you have to think about getting back on the ground? :-)

Matt

Matt Whiting wrote:
Otis Winslow wrote:

caleb wrote:

My top three a

1) "TAKE IMMEDIATE EVASIVE ACTION!"

2) "Execute Published Missed Approach WITH OUT DELAY, and hold at the
outer marker"

and as Ben Jackson said:

3) "cleared to land on any runway"


I had that #3 one once .. after I told them I had smoke in the
cockpit and needed to be thinking about being back on the ground.


How long did you have to think about getting back on the ground? :-)

Matt

Certainly it was under a second. It's the ride down that makes your
butt hole real tight.

Heard over London, Ontario on the way back from Oshkosh this year:

London App Cherokee 76J say indicated airspeed
Me 76J One Zero Three, 103 Knots
London App Cherokee 76J reduce speed to one zero zero knots,
contact next approach on xxx.xx, inform them of your speed restriction

A three knot speed restriction. ??? Turns out I was catching my next-
tiedown neighbor's Archer.
--
Aaron C.

I had an un-favorite dialog at a Class D once. There were three of us
in the pattern:

Tower: Cessna 123, clear touch-and-go 27R.
Cessna 123: Cessna 123.
Tower, Cessna 456, you're number two, clear touch-and-go 27R.
Cessna 456: Umm, okay, clear touch-and-go 27R.
Me: Tower, Cessna 789, I believe I'm number 2 for 27R.
Tower: Cessna 789, you're number 3, continue downwind, I'll call your
base leg.
Me: 789, I'm 1/2 mile final 27R, departing traffic in sight, no one
else.
(pause)
Me: Tower, 789, confirm I'm clear touch-and-go 27R.
(pause)
Me: Tower, 789 going around 27R.
(pause)
Citation: Tower, Citation XXX, 6 miles out, visiual 27L.
(pause)
Tower: Okay, which aircraft is on final 27R?
Me: 789 over the numbers, going around 27R.
Cessna 456: I'm turning base for 27R.
(pause)
Tower: Cessna 789, turn crosswind now, right traffic for 27R.
Me: Okay, confirm you want me to turn in front of Cessna 123 for right
traffic 27R.
(new voice from the tower, no pause)
Tower: Skyhawk 789, continue runway heading, follow the Cessna on
crosswind, right traffic 27R.
Me: Okay, Skyhawk 789.
Tower: Cessna 456, clear touch-and-go 27R.
Cessna 456: Clear touch and go, Cessna 456.
Tower: Citation XXX, clear to land 27L, three Cessnas in the pattern on
the parallel.
Citation: We're lookin', clear to land 27L.
Tower: Skyhawk 123, you're number two, clear touch-and-go 27R.
Cessna 123: Cessna 123.

.... whereupon my instructor said to me, "Well, someone's going to get a
phone call, that first guy was the same controller who tried to kill me
yesterday."

"Skyhawk 08L, Cleared for the option rwy 7. Caution Wake
turbulence, Departing Heavy DC-8"

Say what?

This was at TOL, Toledo OH...HQ of BAX global. Lots of DC-8s as well
as ANG F16s

Made it a short field landing and t/o...was turning crosswind before
the point at which the DC-8 had rotated...Was about 11PM, I was doing
my Night requirements for my Commercial.

--Don


Don Byrer
Commercial Pilot / CFI Student
Electronics Technician, RADAR/Data/Comm @ CLE
Amateur Radio KJ5KB

"I have slipped the surly bonds of earth; now if I can just land without bending the gear..."
"I know what it sounds like....when doves cry"

"caleb" wrote in message
oups.com...

3) "cleared to land on any runway"


#3 doesn't bother me if it's the "field is wide open land wherever you want"
variety; if it's the "you have big problems, go ahead and land wherever you
can, trucks are rolling" sort, then it's no fun!

My personal least-favorite (which I've received twice):

"Cleared to land runway XX; land at your own risk" -- given by tower when wx
drops below published mins (above mins when approach started, broke out
at/before reaching DH [despite "official" wx]). No big deal, I guess, but
the "at your own risk" wording sure got our attention!!

(my first post to r.a.o, seems like a pleasant bunch in here; getting back
into GA after several years' absence; wannabe/hopeful soon-to-be owner)
--
Doug
"Where am I to go/Now that I've gone too far?" -- Golden Earring, "Twilight
Zone"
(my email is spam-proofed; read the address and make the appropriate change
to contact me)

Douglas Paterson wrote:

seems like a pleasant bunch in here;

You'll learn soon enough. :-)

Welcome!

George Patterson
Coffee is only a way of stealing time that should by rights belong to
your slightly older self.

On Mon, 2 Jan 2006 20:37:35 -0700, "Douglas Paterson"
wrote:

My personal least-favorite (which I've received twice):

I had the old "alternating red/green" light signal once.

Flying a 65-hp Taylorcraft, NORDO, mid-1970s, up the California
central valley, out of Porterville on this particular leg.

I was trying to make some northing before a winter cold front shut
things down. WX was clear departing Porterville, with a lusty
tailwind (which should have told me something), but around Stockton, I
decided I needed to make a 180 and find a place to land. Of course,
the tailwind was now on my nose. By the time I was over Merced, I
decided that NORDO or not, this was not the time to be insisting on an
uncontrolled field.

So I made a low pass, flew the pattern once more, and on final, I got
the alternating red/green. "Thanks, fellas," I thought. "Extreme
caution is exactly what I am executing right at this moment."

Actually, the tower was great. No sooner had the tail come down (at
about zero groundspeed) when there were two guys from the FBO hanging
on each set of struts. They walked me to a tie-down and we all got to
the office shortly before the first rain shower hit.

The front blew through in a few hours, the sun came out, and from that
point, there was nothing in the way but some easily avoidable squall
lines. I talked to the tower on the phone, topped off, got flashing
green and then steady green and was out of there.

("Douglas Paterson" wrote)
[snip]
(my first post to r.a.o, seems like a pleasant bunch in here; getting back
into GA after several years' absence; wannabe/hopeful soon-to-be owner)


What do you have your eye on?


Montblack

Heh. That's the big question, of course!

Please check out a thread I just started, "Resource for choosing a plane?"
In short, I'm looking for a comparison tool to help narrow the choices--I'm
a bit overwhelmed by this most basic of questions you've asked!

Thanks....
--
Doug
"Where am I to go/Now that I've gone too far?" -- Golden Earring, "Twilight
Zone"
(my email is spam-proofed; read the address and make the appropriate change
to contact me)

"Montblack" wrote in message
...
("Douglas Paterson" wrote)
[snip]
(my first post to r.a.o, seems like a pleasant bunch in here; getting
back into GA after several years' absence; wannabe/hopeful soon-to-be
owner)


What do you have your eye on?


Montblack