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"You Might be a Crew Chief if..."
http://www.sgtstryker.com/weblog/arc...125.php#004125
1. You've ever slept on the concrete under a wing. 2. You never go anywhere without your red and black pencils and your line badge, including church. 3. You've wished your jet would drop a MK-84 on Saddam Hussein's house. 4. You've ever said "oh yes sir, it's supposed to look like that." 5. You know what a pointy head is. 6. You know what an R&I trailer is. 7. You consider 'moly-b' fingerprints on food an 'acquired taste'. 8. You've ever sucked lox to cure a hangover. 9. You know what jet fuel tastes like. 10. You've used a grease pencil to "fix" a tire worn beyond limits. 11. You got a better benchstock in the pockets of your coveralls than the squadron does 12. You've used a piece of safety wire as a tooth pick. 13. You've ever had to say "my boots are still black!" 14. Someone has tackled you right before you cuss the squadron commander out over the radio. 15. You refer to a pilot as a "control stick actuator." 16. You've been duct-taped to a towbar and dowsed with pet and sand. 17. You've had your headset greased. 18. You've ever been told to "go get us some prop wash and a yard of flightline from support." 19. You've worked a 14 hour shift on a jet that isn't flying the next day. 20. You've said "as long as she starts every other try you'll be fine sir." 21. You consider a traditional Thanksgiving dinner to be a turkey sandwich in one hand and a 3/4" wrench in the other. 22. You've ever jumped an intake to get out of the cold. 23. Kitchen passes are hard to come by. 24. You've ever told your wife, "No dear, thats not beer you smell, its JP-8!" 25. You consider a TDY a paid vacation. 26. The phrase "Oh, by the way..." makes your eye twitch. 27. You call the suspension on your car the main gear. 28. You refer to your car's dashboard as the "glareshield" 29. You give your wife an ETIC of when the trash will be taken out. 30. Leaving after eight hours makes you feel as if you've been cut back. 31. Little yellow ear plugs are all over your house. 32. You've ever talked to your jet 33. Tossed some poor bug or creature into LOX 34. You can't spell 35. You've ever passed gas in someone else's cockpit or crew station. 36. You stopped work to watch Jerry Springer 37. Only you can read your hand writting 38. You know what F.B.I.T.A. means. 39. Most of the tools in your garage are etched 40. You've ever bought a new pair of boots rather than polish your old ones! 41. You've stolen screws from someone else's plane 42. You've washed your hands before you pee. 43. You've ever towed Jets around to match the board in MOC. 44. You've preflighted in really bad weather only to learn that OPS cancelled hours ago! 45. You've ever been hassled in MPF about 35-10 after a 16 hour shift. 46. You believe your Jet has a soul and it's demonic in origin 47. You talk to your jet 48. Your spouse refuses to watch any aviation shows or attend airshows with you. 49. You've ever said, "That NAV light burned out after launch!" 50. You've used a chock as a hammer 51. The only thing that you know about a city is where the good bars are. 52. You know more about your co-workers than you do your own family. 53. You've purposefully exposed yourself other than in the shower. 54. You don't know what the inside of a good dorm looks like. 55. The refrigerator in your dorm room is stocked only with beer 56. You've looked for pictures of your Jet in Aviation magazines and books. 57. You know that you're the best Crew Chief in the USAF and your jet is the best in the fleet! 58. You hate people who know nothing about MX doing QVI's on your jet. 59. You can't figure out why maintenance officers exist 60. You've ever been ticked off because they can't make up their minds on what the 781's should look like 61. You've wished that the pilot would just say, "Great Jet, thanks Chief!" 62. You love to be called "Chief" 63. You have ever passed gas in the expeditor truck just to clear it out. 64. You use the bathroom more often outdoors than indoors. 65. People who are Crew Chiefs and don't want to be sicken you 66. You've shut a jet down in the middle of a launch just to change a Landing gear indication light in the back seat 67. You can't figure out why two weeks of advance per-diem is gone after three days. 68. Most of your advance is spent in $1 increments at the "club" 69. You can sleep anywhere, anytime. But as soon as the engines shut down you are wide awake. 70. You've asked another Crew Chief for a T.O. reference when signing off a task. 71. You have ever said bad things about the IDIOT that said, "No more Nose Art." 72. The SRB is not the main reason you re-enlist. 73. Most everyone thinks that all you do is wave your arms in the air. 74. You think that Crew Chiefs who can't hit the mark when parking a jet suck 75. You know what a "Bite" is. 76. You've ever used a helmet for a pillow. 77. You've stood on wheel chocks to keep your feet dry. 78. You've eaten more MRE's than hot meals. 79. You've ever done the 100yd dash to the line shack when lightning was called. 80. You change underwear and T-shirts more than you change BDU's. 81. You've used Dykes to trim a fingernail. 82. You've ever used RTV to fix a stripped screw 83. You've ever pulled the gun switch while riding brakes. 84. You've started a jet inside the hanger 85. You've ever wiped your hands on your pants. 86. You've made tampons out of spare towels for drain hole leaks. 87. You've knocked back a rivet stem that was hanging out a drain hole. 88. You've wiped leaks right before a crew show. 89. You've picked your nose. 90. You've ever puked more than two days in a row. 91. You've worn someone else's hat just to go to chow. 92. All you care about is the flying schedule and your days off. 93. You hate Crew Chiefs that couldn't hack the line, got admin. jobs and were promoted. 94. You've ever pencil-wipped your 623's. 95. You hate the fact that everyone else gets rides in your jet before you do. 96. You've ever been woke up by the returning drunks turning on the lights 97. You've ever been that drunk turning on all the lights 98. You've had to defuel your jet an hour after fueling it. 99. You've driven home and do not remember it. 100. You've ever gone straight to work from the bar. 101. Everyone you know has some sort of nickname. 102. You've ever got off work, rushed home to take a shower and went out to the bar and called it a quick turn. 103. Used the "Pull Chocks" signal to tell your buddies it's time to leave the bar. 104. You've washed your hands with JP-8 after using B 1/2 105. You've rushed to get one last smoke while the horn is blowing 106. You've ever bled Hydraulic fluid into a gatoraid bottle or soda can because you are too lazy to get a hydraulic bucket and the Hazmat keys from support 107. You know what hydraulic fluid tastes like And now, we'll talk a little about God, more commonly known as the "Crew Chief." And yes, we even have our own G.I. Joe figure, complete with extraneous M-16 (why? I don't know.) I leave you with this mega-list, entitled "You Might be a Crew Chief if..." that I got in the email awhile back: 1. You've ever slept on the concrete under a wing. 2. You never go anywhere without your red and black pencils and your line badge, including church. 3. You've wished your jet would drop a MK-84 on Saddam Hussein's house. 4. You've ever said "oh yes sir, it's supposed to look like that." 5. You know what a pointy head is. 6. You know what an R&I trailer is. 7. You consider 'moly-b' fingerprints on food an 'acquired taste'. 8. You've ever sucked lox to cure a hangover. 9. You know what jet fuel tastes like. 10. You've used a grease pencil to "fix" a tire worn beyond limits. 11. You got a better benchstock in the pockets of your coveralls than the squadron does 12. You've used a piece of safety wire as a tooth pick. 13. You've ever had to say "my boots are still black!" 14. Someone has tackled you right before you cuss the squadron commander out over the radio. 15. You refer to a pilot as a "control stick actuator." 16. You've been duct-taped to a towbar and dowsed with pet and sand. 17. You've had your headset greased. 18. You've ever been told to "go get us some prop wash and a yard of flightline from support." 19. You've worked a 14 hour shift on a jet that isn't flying the next day. 20. You've said "as long as she starts every other try you'll be fine sir." 21. You consider a traditional Thanksgiving dinner to be a turkey sandwich in one hand and a 3/4" wrench in the other. 22. You've ever jumped an intake to get out of the cold. 23. Kitchen passes are hard to come by. 24. You've ever told your wife, "No dear, thats not beer you smell, its JP-8!" 25. You consider a TDY a paid vacation. 26. The phrase "Oh, by the way..." makes your eye twitch. 27. You call the suspension on your car the main gear. 28. You refer to your car's dashboard as the "glareshield" 29. You give your wife an ETIC of when the trash will be taken out. 30. Leaving after eight hours makes you feel as if you've been cut back. 31. Little yellow ear plugs are all over your house. 32. You've ever talked to your jet 33. Tossed some poor bug or creature into LOX 34. You can't spell 35. You've ever passed gas in someone else's cockpit or crew station. 36. You stopped work to watch Jerry Springer 37. Only you can read your hand writting 38. You know what F.B.I.T.A. means. 39. Most of the tools in your garage are etched 40. You've ever bought a new pair of boots rather than polish your old ones! 41. You've stolen screws from someone else's plane 42. You've washed your hands before you pee. 43. You've ever towed Jets around to match the board in MOC. 44. You've preflighted in really bad weather only to learn that OPS cancelled hours ago! 45. You've ever been hassled in MPF about 35-10 after a 16 hour shift. 46. You believe your Jet has a soul and it's demonic in origin 47. You talk to your jet 48. Your spouse refuses to watch any aviation shows or attend airshows with you. 49. You've ever said, "That NAV light burned out after launch!" 50. You've used a chock as a hammer 51. The only thing that you know about a city is where the good bars are. 52. You know more about your co-workers than you do your own family. 53. You've purposefully exposed yourself other than in the shower. 54. You don't know what the inside of a good dorm looks like. 55. The refrigerator in your dorm room is stocked only with beer 56. You've looked for pictures of your Jet in Aviation magazines and books. 57. You know that you're the best Crew Chief in the USAF and your jet is the best in the fleet! 58. You hate people who know nothing about MX doing QVI's on your jet. 59. You can't figure out why maintenance officers exist 60. You've ever been ticked off because they can't make up their minds on what the 781's should look like 61. You've wished that the pilot would just say, "Great Jet, thanks Chief!" 62. You love to be called "Chief" 63. You have ever passed gas in the expeditor truck just to clear it out. 64. You use the bathroom more often outdoors than indoors. 65. People who are Crew Chiefs and don't want to be sicken you 66. You've shut a jet down in the middle of a launch just to change a Landing gear indication light in the back seat 67. You can't figure out why two weeks of advance per-diem is gone after three days. 68. Most of your advance is spent in $1 increments at the "club" 69. You can sleep anywhere, anytime. But as soon as the engines shut down you are wide awake. 70. You've asked another Crew Chief for a T.O. reference when signing off a task. 71. You have ever said bad things about the IDIOT that said, "No more Nose Art." 72. The SRB is not the main reason you re-enlist. 73. Most everyone thinks that all you do is wave your arms in the air. 74. You think that Crew Chiefs who can't hit the mark when parking a jet suck 75. You know what a "Bite" is. 76. You've ever used a helmet for a pillow. 77. You've stood on wheel chocks to keep your feet dry. 78. You've eaten more MRE's than hot meals. 79. You've ever done the 100yd dash to the line shack when lightning was called. 80. You change underwear and T-shirts more than you change BDU's. 81. You've used Dykes to trim a fingernail. 82. You've ever used RTV to fix a stripped screw 83. You've ever pulled the gun switch while riding brakes. 84. You've started a jet inside the hanger 85. You've ever wiped your hands on your pants. 86. You've made tampons out of spare towels for drain hole leaks. 87. You've knocked back a rivet stem that was hanging out a drain hole. 88. You've wiped leaks right before a crew show. 89. You've picked your nose. 90. You've ever puked more than two days in a row. 91. You've worn someone else's hat just to go to chow. 92. All you care about is the flying schedule and your days off. 93. You hate Crew Chiefs that couldn't hack the line, got admin. jobs and were promoted. 94. You've ever pencil-wipped your 623's. 95. You hate the fact that everyone else gets rides in your jet before you do. 96. You've ever been woke up by the returning drunks turning on the lights 97. You've ever been that drunk turning on all the lights 98. You've had to defuel your jet an hour after fueling it. 99. You've driven home and do not remember it. 100. You've ever gone straight to work from the bar. 101. Everyone you know has some sort of nickname. 102. You've ever got off work, rushed home to take a shower and went out to the bar and called it a quick turn. 103. Used the "Pull Chocks" signal to tell your buddies it's time to leave the bar. 104. You've washed your hands with JP-8 after using B 1/2 105. You've rushed to get one last smoke while the horn is blowing 106. You've ever bled Hydraulic fluid into a gatoraid bottle or soda can because you are too lazy to get a hydraulic bucket and the Hazmat keys from support 107. You know what hydraulic fluid tastes like ----- -Jeff B. (who never even worked on aircraft) yeff at erols dot com |
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"Yeff" wrote in message ... http://www.sgtstryker.com/weblog/arc...125.php#004125 1. You've ever slept on the concrete under a wing. 2. You never go anywhere without your red and black pencils and your line badge, including church. 3. You've wished your jet would drop a MK-84 on Saddam Hussein's house. 4. You've ever said "oh yes sir, it's supposed to look like that." 5. You know what a pointy head is. 6. You know what an R&I trailer is. 7. You consider 'moly-b' fingerprints on food an 'acquired taste'. 8. You've ever sucked lox to cure a hangover. 9. You know what jet fuel tastes like. 10. You've used a grease pencil to "fix" a tire worn beyond limits. 11. You got a better benchstock in the pockets of your coveralls than the squadron does 12. You've used a piece of safety wire as a tooth pick. 13. You've ever had to say "my boots are still black!" 14. Someone has tackled you right before you cuss the squadron commander out over the radio. 15. You refer to a pilot as a "control stick actuator." 16. You've been duct-taped to a towbar and dowsed with pet and sand. 17. You've had your headset greased. 18. You've ever been told to "go get us some prop wash and a yard of flightline from support." 19. You've worked a 14 hour shift on a jet that isn't flying the next day. 20. You've said "as long as she starts every other try you'll be fine sir." 21. You consider a traditional Thanksgiving dinner to be a turkey sandwich in one hand and a 3/4" wrench in the other. 22. You've ever jumped an intake to get out of the cold. 23. Kitchen passes are hard to come by. 24. You've ever told your wife, "No dear, thats not beer you smell, its JP-8!" 25. You consider a TDY a paid vacation. 26. The phrase "Oh, by the way..." makes your eye twitch. 27. You call the suspension on your car the main gear. 28. You refer to your car's dashboard as the "glareshield" 29. You give your wife an ETIC of when the trash will be taken out. 30. Leaving after eight hours makes you feel as if you've been cut back. 31. Little yellow ear plugs are all over your house. 32. You've ever talked to your jet 33. Tossed some poor bug or creature into LOX 34. You can't spell 35. You've ever passed gas in someone else's cockpit or crew station. 36. You stopped work to watch Jerry Springer 37. Only you can read your hand writting 38. You know what F.B.I.T.A. means. 39. Most of the tools in your garage are etched 40. You've ever bought a new pair of boots rather than polish your old ones! 41. You've stolen screws from someone else's plane 42. You've washed your hands before you pee. 43. You've ever towed Jets around to match the board in MOC. 44. You've preflighted in really bad weather only to learn that OPS cancelled hours ago! 45. You've ever been hassled in MPF about 35-10 after a 16 hour shift. 46. You believe your Jet has a soul and it's demonic in origin 47. You talk to your jet 48. Your spouse refuses to watch any aviation shows or attend airshows with you. 49. You've ever said, "That NAV light burned out after launch!" 50. You've used a chock as a hammer 51. The only thing that you know about a city is where the good bars are. 52. You know more about your co-workers than you do your own family. 53. You've purposefully exposed yourself other than in the shower. 54. You don't know what the inside of a good dorm looks like. 55. The refrigerator in your dorm room is stocked only with beer 56. You've looked for pictures of your Jet in Aviation magazines and books. 57. You know that you're the best Crew Chief in the USAF and your jet is the best in the fleet! 58. You hate people who know nothing about MX doing QVI's on your jet. 59. You can't figure out why maintenance officers exist 60. You've ever been ticked off because they can't make up their minds on what the 781's should look like 61. You've wished that the pilot would just say, "Great Jet, thanks Chief!" 62. You love to be called "Chief" 63. You have ever passed gas in the expeditor truck just to clear it out. 64. You use the bathroom more often outdoors than indoors. 65. People who are Crew Chiefs and don't want to be sicken you 66. You've shut a jet down in the middle of a launch just to change a Landing gear indication light in the back seat 67. You can't figure out why two weeks of advance per-diem is gone after three days. 68. Most of your advance is spent in $1 increments at the "club" 69. You can sleep anywhere, anytime. But as soon as the engines shut down you are wide awake. 70. You've asked another Crew Chief for a T.O. reference when signing off a task. 71. You have ever said bad things about the IDIOT that said, "No more Nose Art." 72. The SRB is not the main reason you re-enlist. 73. Most everyone thinks that all you do is wave your arms in the air. 74. You think that Crew Chiefs who can't hit the mark when parking a jet suck 75. You know what a "Bite" is. 76. You've ever used a helmet for a pillow. 77. You've stood on wheel chocks to keep your feet dry. 78. You've eaten more MRE's than hot meals. 79. You've ever done the 100yd dash to the line shack when lightning was called. 80. You change underwear and T-shirts more than you change BDU's. 81. You've used Dykes to trim a fingernail. 82. You've ever used RTV to fix a stripped screw 83. You've ever pulled the gun switch while riding brakes. 84. You've started a jet inside the hanger 85. You've ever wiped your hands on your pants. 86. You've made tampons out of spare towels for drain hole leaks. 87. You've knocked back a rivet stem that was hanging out a drain hole. 88. You've wiped leaks right before a crew show. 89. You've picked your nose. 90. You've ever puked more than two days in a row. 91. You've worn someone else's hat just to go to chow. 92. All you care about is the flying schedule and your days off. 93. You hate Crew Chiefs that couldn't hack the line, got admin. jobs and were promoted. 94. You've ever pencil-wipped your 623's. 95. You hate the fact that everyone else gets rides in your jet before you do. 96. You've ever been woke up by the returning drunks turning on the lights 97. You've ever been that drunk turning on all the lights 98. You've had to defuel your jet an hour after fueling it. 99. You've driven home and do not remember it. 100. You've ever gone straight to work from the bar. 101. Everyone you know has some sort of nickname. 102. You've ever got off work, rushed home to take a shower and went out to the bar and called it a quick turn. 103. Used the "Pull Chocks" signal to tell your buddies it's time to leave the bar. 104. You've washed your hands with JP-8 after using B 1/2 105. You've rushed to get one last smoke while the horn is blowing 106. You've ever bled Hydraulic fluid into a gatoraid bottle or soda can because you are too lazy to get a hydraulic bucket and the Hazmat keys from support 107. You know what hydraulic fluid tastes like And now, we'll talk a little about God, more commonly known as the "Crew Chief." And yes, we even have our own G.I. Joe figure, complete with extraneous M-16 (why? I don't know.) I leave you with this mega-list, entitled "You Might be a Crew Chief if..." that I got in the email awhile back: -Jeff B. (who never even worked on aircraft) yeff at erols dot com Much of this applies to any maintenance troop! |
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In article ,
"David Hartung" wrote: Much of this applies to any maintenance troop! Hell, I got 28, and I was just an ECM troop... -- cirby at cfl.rr.com Remember: Objects in rearview mirror may be hallucinations. Slam on brakes accordingly. |
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"Chad Irby" wrote in message ... In article , "David Hartung" wrote: Much of this applies to any maintenance troop! Hell, I got 28, and I was just an ECM troop... I got about 20, and I was a weapons guy |
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I got over 30. But I have a question. Does it count as a yes if I was a
pointy head. KenG David Hartung wrote: "Chad Irby" wrote in message ... In article , "David Hartung" wrote: Much of this applies to any maintenance troop! Hell, I got 28, and I was just an ECM troop... I got about 20, and I was a weapons guy |
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"David Hartung" wrote I got about 20, and I was a weapons guy So was I. When and where were you? 4. You've ever said "oh yes sir, it's supposed to look like that." "Red 3, the aircrew needs to see you over at -509" "rog...on the way" {me}"yes sir? What is it? {Major Dumbass, Sq Safety Officer}"This pylon is loose. [he grabs the front of the TER and gives it a shake. The whole Sta 3 wiggles a teeny bit.] I take a look, and all seems to be in order. Bolts properly safety wired, no obvious damage or excessive loosesness "Major...they are *all* like that." "SARGE!! I have hundreds of hours flying these jets, and I've never seen one this loose!" "Major..I have almost 15 years loading and installing these things, and, I repeat, they are *all* like that. Design tolerances, designed-in 'give', I don't know. But they do flex a little. This is installed as per the T.O." "Nope...not good enough. I want this tightened up!" [sigh]...."Ok, Major. Do you have about 15 mins before you need to engine start? "Yep..I want this tightened up" "OK....Willie (my 3 man), go back to the shop, and get the bigass torque wrench and the T.O." (we proceed to remove the safety wire from the 3 pylon bolts) "All right, Major. We put a grease pencil mark on the bolt and the mating surface. If, after we put the wrench on it, it has moved, I concede the point." (crank up the wrench to the proper setting (IIRC 275 ft lbs)) "CLICK CLICK CLICK" "Major! Are these grease pencil marks still lined up?" "hmm...yes" (grumblegrumblegrumble) "Will there be anything else, Sir?" "No, I guess not. Thanks" [sigh] Pete I understand his need to make sure...but damn Trust your troops.. |
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Pete wrote:
"David Hartung" wrote I got about 20, and I was a weapons guy So was I. When and where were you? 4. You've ever said "oh yes sir, it's supposed to look like that." "Red 3, the aircrew needs to see you over at -509" "rog...on the way" {me}"yes sir? What is it? {Major Dumbass, Sq Safety Officer}"This pylon is loose. [he grabs the front of the TER and gives it a shake. The whole Sta 3 wiggles a teeny bit.] I take a look, and all seems to be in order. Bolts properly safety wired, no obvious damage or excessive loosesness "Major...they are *all* like that." "SARGE!! I have hundreds of hours flying these jets, and I've never seen one this loose!" "Major..I have almost 15 years loading and installing these things, and, I repeat, they are *all* like that. Design tolerances, designed-in 'give', I don't know. But they do flex a little. This is installed as per the T.O." "Nope...not good enough. I want this tightened up!" [sigh]...."Ok, Major. Do you have about 15 mins before you need to engine start? "Yep..I want this tightened up" "OK....Willie (my 3 man), go back to the shop, and get the bigass torque wrench and the T.O." (we proceed to remove the safety wire from the 3 pylon bolts) "All right, Major. We put a grease pencil mark on the bolt and the mating surface. If, after we put the wrench on it, it has moved, I concede the point." (crank up the wrench to the proper setting (IIRC 275 ft lbs)) "CLICK CLICK CLICK" "Major! Are these grease pencil marks still lined up?" "hmm...yes" (grumblegrumblegrumble) "Will there be anything else, Sir?" "No, I guess not. Thanks" [sigh] Pete I understand his need to make sure...but damn Trust your troops.. Reminded me of Captain Lockheed and the Starfighters, the hilarious cult album by Robert Calvert. Anybody? John |
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"John Mullen" wrote in message ... Pete wrote: "David Hartung" wrote I got about 20, and I was a weapons guy So was I. When and where were you? 1976-1977 Luke 1977-1978 Guam 1978-1981 Luke 1981-1984 Sembach 1984-1985 Bitburg 1985-1986 Blythville When and where were you? |
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"B2431" wrote in message ... From: Chad Irby Date: 12/7/2003 2:30 AM Central Standard Time Message-id: In article , "David Hartung" wrote: Much of this applies to any maintenance troop! Hell, I got 28, and I was just an ECM troop... -- cirby at cfl.rr.com I got most of them. There was this great fiasco called POMO where some specialist were "crew chief qualified" which simply meant crew chiefs got chow breaks while we recovered/launched their jets. I was at Luke in 1976-77 when they were doing the POMO tests, I was on an F4 Load crew so I ws not involved, but by the time I got back from Guam, all of TAC had gone POMO, COMO, or whatever they called it. The good news was that in our unit(310 AMU), weapons folks seldom got asked to do more than walk the occasional wing. On the plus side the first time I recovered an early return not one specialist came to help yet almost every crewchief on the line did. The only place I did launch an recovery was at Sembach in the last several months before the OV10s left. On day my airplane was on the taxiway and the flight Chief sent someone else out to recover it. When I got to the shack he proceeded to chew me out aver something my guys supposedly hadn't done. As soon as he got me good and mad, he threw a set of Tech stripes at me and congratulated me!G It was the best butt chewing I eve got! |
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