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#1
July 27th 08, 11:03 AM
posted to alt.usenet.kooks,rec.arts.drwho,rec.aviation.piloting,alt.abortion,alt.fan.art-bell
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WINNERS! Usenet Kook Awards, June 2008
Hail Eris! Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler wrote:
"20th Century Fox Fanfare" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z54ynmUPZ5c The time has come to announce the winners of the June 2008 Usenet Kook Awards. Envelopes, please! BOBO AWARD The winner is...SCOTT "WEREO" LIFSHINE! Scott "Wereo" Lifshine 21 votes YES 01 votes NO Congratulations, Wereo! For not only exposing your kookery in a court of law, but consenting to have your small claim case televised, you have shown that your kookery knows no bounds when it comes to publicity. Furthermore, the televising of your time before the bench and the archiving of that incident on YouTube means that you have now achieved the bare minimum for the "global humiliation" standard for this most esteemed award that alt.usenet.kooks gives out for lifetime achievement in kookery. We (TINW) now present, for your viewing pleasure, the only man that matters on USENET--WEREO! AWL HALE TEH NUKULAR WARRIOR! http://youtube.com/watch?v=l7Gac3AthnY KOOK OF THE MONTH The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE! 22 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie 06 votes Anthony X AKA "Sir Tony Baloney" 02 votes Alan Connor posting as "Tom Newton," 01 votes None of the above Congratulations, Lamie! The "tard"iness of this report is at least partially due to you, not only because of your being USENET's notorious spamtard, but because the FNVW spent two weeks racking racking his brain trying to think of 13 unique things to say about you. That, along with the original report being lost when the FNVW's outbox became corrupted, contributed to this report coming out two weeks late. Fluffy was not pleased, and neither was I. I think it's safe to say the entire Imperial Court was generally cheesed off, Mr. Baillie. What, you thought you were going to sit down? Hardly. You're "Not Dead Yet" for there are 12 more awards with your name on them, so stand right here. "Not Dead Yet" from Spamalot http://youtube.com/watch?v=vBz_WS6CdWc Absolutely made of sheer awesome. CLUELESS NEWBIE OF THE MONTH The winner is...MAXWELL! 10 votes Maxwell 08 votes Patriot Games 00 votes Neither of the above Congratulations, Maxwell! Your lits o' haet including many different people as "sockpuppets of Bertie" and your inability to distinguish between fr0gging and forging, along with your continued whining and utter inability to deal with a notorious troll (and Bertie is notorious, especially in New Zealand!), earned you this award over someone who cried "censorship" when he couldn't see his own articles because of propagation issues. See you in January, when you'll be on the ballot for Clueless Newbie of the Year! Oh well, at least it was close. COWARD OF THE MONTH The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE! 20 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie 04 votes Is Ken Darian 04 votes Raymond Karczewski 01 votes None of the above Congratulations a second time, Spamtard! Your persistent legal threats, bogus DMCA takedowns, attempts to get others to do your dirty work, and running away from tough questions won you this prize. Now, watch your role model, Brave Sir Robin, and learn some style points from him. Fat, ugly, stupid, cowardly, and k00ky, Lamie: Which three of these do you think the ladies care about more? Of those three, which of them is the most likely to earn you scorn from any woman with a pulse? BTW, congratulations on beating both a legendarily cowardly k00k and a promising upstart. "Brave Sir Robin" from Spamalot http://youtube.com/watch?v=AShveV6I_EA LOONEY MAROON AWARD The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE! 22 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie 09 votes Brad Guth 01 votes Neither of the above Congratulations a third time, Lamie! My policy is to only allow someone to run for both Kook of the Month and Looney Maroon on the same ballot if they are an exceptionally strong candidate and are also exceptionally looney. Your sweeping of all 13 categories for which you were nominated this month confirmed the wisdom of allowing you to contest both awards. The Knights of the Round Table from Spamalot would be proud of you. I haven't seen such sheer and unmitigated looniness outside of RADW in many years, and even then, only in overall quality of froth -- Agamemnon can't be bothered with reporting anyone since that would detract from the attention paid to him, and Yads has his own schtick. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBR_HsCfNxo GOLDEN KILLFILE The winner is...GREGVK! 16 votes gregvk 09 votes The Mark Morgan Fan Club of rec.radio.amateur.policy 01 votes Neither of the above Congratulations, gregvk/jitter/malscribe/purpurroterwald! Flaming someone by wishing them ovarian cancer, among other lamery, has earned you this distinction of being worthy of being ignored by everyone on USENET. And he is so very worthy. JOSEPH BARTLO MEMORIAL PATHETIC ANAL PINEAPPLE AWARD The winner is...GREGVK! 19 votes gregvk 09 votes Abbedd of rec.music.classical.recordings 00 votes Neither of the above Congratulations, again, Greggie poo! Your schtick may go over really well on Something Awful, 4Chan, or Encyclopedia Dramatica, but on AUK, it's merely pathetic. In fact, it's so pathetic that you will eventually be thrown into the Galactic Killfile for it. When that will happen is for me to know, and for you not to find out. On the bright side, he x-no-archives, so much of his **** will be entirely forgotten by Google, and the rest of it will stand as a testament to his obsession with showing up AUK's brand of kookology as an outdated, politically correct dinosaur with no relevance to the "real" thing (q.v. innumerable (Literally!) posts about the awards only mattering to a small number of people). Well, if what he calls "kookology" is the current state of the art, I would be proud to have him call me a kook, since he has also described every single one of my colleagues in more-or-less similar terms. Puts me in the right company, to my mind. PALMJOB PADDLE The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE! 22 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie 07 votes Raymond Karczewski 02 votes dvus 00 votes None of the above Congratulations, again, Spanktard! This is your first repeat win of an AUK award, fittingly, for being completely spanked by NANAE and whoever on AUK was also participating. Now, make like King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table and "RUN AWAY!" Alas, poor dvus, he never stood a chance against the great self- spanker of NANAE. Or, for that matter, Kazoo. Ah, well. "Run Away" from Spamalot http://youtube.com/watch?v=GA7IDKWoz2o TONY SIDAWAY DRAMA QUEEN AWARD The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE! 21 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie 08 votes Raymond Karczewski 01 votes Babaloonie 00 votes Neither of the above Congratulations, Dramatard! Ridiculous ranting? Check. Unprovoked meltdowns? Check. Operatic flouncing? Check. Threatening to leave USENET forever, preferably several times a week? We (TINW) could only hope. In the meantime, here is another role model of yours; she might teach you something. sets about preparing a suitable crown for Lamie "Diva's Lament (What Ever Happened to My Part?)" from Spamalot http://youtube.com/watch?v=u9VMImm_61Y VICTOR VON FRANKENSTEIN WEIRD SCIENCE AWARD The winner is..."PHOTON DEGRADATION' BY DOUBLE-A! "Photon Degradation" by Double-A 20 votes YES 00 votes NO Congratulations, Double-A! It looks like all the weird science thrown around alt.astronomy has finally infiltrated your consciousness. It was only a matter of time. "Tired light." Hee-hee! DOUGLAS GRANT MEDAL FOR HISTORICAL REVISIONISM The winner is...JOHN WENTZKY! 12 votes "Confederate Flag revisionism" by John Wentzky 09 votes "Protocols of the Elders of Zion" by Bloxy/Nukleus 01 votes Neither of the above Congratulations, John-Boy! Your original revisionism about the Confederate States of America eked out a win over the repeated reprinting of the most notorious piece of bogus revisionist history, to say nothing of the mother of all conspiracy theories (the grandmother being anything involving the Knights Templar), still extant. All that was missing was the cry of "The South Shall Rise Again!" Yes, it will, but not because of revisionists like you. Well, technically, the "Elders of Zion" are linked to the Bavarian Illuminati, who are said to be inheritors of the tradition of the Templars -- therefore, Wentzky did indeed beat out the grandmother of all conspiracy theories...Kind of. GEORGE PICKETT MEMORIAL TROPHY The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE! 26 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie 02 votes Alan Connor posting as "Tom Newton" 00 votes Neither of the above Further congratulations to you, Lamie! Your multiple crusades, but especially your campaign against aioe, have attracted the attention of NANAE and AUK and earned you this award. Did you get that aioe user banned? No? You did, however, give the admin of aioe an opportunity to show that he has balls and integrity, which is one of the reasons that I'm now accepting ballots from that site, when a few months ago, I shredded them on sight. That's a "victory" just like The Black Knight's! You gotta sever the head. It only counts if you have a severed head to hold up... Incidentally, I'd like to suggest that Lamie be awarded Wollmann's own heretofore-unique award (for, I believe, much the same sort of k00kery) -- the one to which you just referred.;-{P} The Black Knight from Spamalot. http://youtube.com/watch?v=k2jYtRTEaNI SPECIAL OPS CODY MEMORIAL PURPLE HEART The winner is...THE RAMD ASSWIPE BRIGADE! 12 votes The RAMD Asswipe Brigade 09 votes Dr. Andrew B. Chung 00 votes Neither of the above Congratulations, Post-Show Parking Lot Brawlers! Your continued attempts to "plonk the filth" didn't chase any outsiders away from your home froup. Instead, it got you cascade after cascade mocking your efforts. Oh, your work also got you a victory over a big-name kook--the biggest award winner of the past three years, in fact. That's quite the accomplishment (1993 Star of Indiana golf clap for all of you). considerately adjusts the froup line TAR & FEATHERS The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE! 22 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie 06 votes Ed Conrad 01 votes Neither of the above Sincere congratulations to you for this one, Spamtard. Not only did you have to prove that you had cleared the high bar of being a "terminally clueless crusader" that everyone in your home group would like to see run out of town on a rail, you handily defeated, in his third attempt at this award, one of the few people I know who really was run out of a USENET group on a rail, Ed "Coalbrain" Conrad, whose kookery is even more legendary than yours. Lamie will be a hard act for Yads to follow. But he's trying! He gets the Big, Scary Headers just right, and consistently mis-identifies the progenitors (or *progenitor*, as the case may be) of the relevant posts as moi. Posting entire web pages (apparently, radical Islamic ones) and identifying them as belonging to his personal usenet enemies is further evidence of his future eligibility for this fine recognition of lifetime achievement in net.cluelessness. Also, take note: http://www.fortunecity.com/tatooine/...cs/adrics.html The Dave Yadallee Award for Net.Cluelessness: Dave Yadallee (four times, from 1994-2003). I'm predicting a landslide victory for Teh Yads as CNOTM. Sorry, but I can find no record of any awards after 2003 (and as I recall, Yads was a disastrous choice for host in a later year, but damfiremember which -- he should get an honorary DYANC for that one, but it'd be redundant). If any radwers can point me at the correct site (for the more recent awards), that would be most appreciated. BUSTED URINAL AWARD The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE! 13 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie 12 votes gregvk 07 votes Abbedd of rec.music.classical.recordings 02 votes None of the above 00 votes Is Ken Darien Congratulations yet again! It's only appropriate that someone whose most common nickname is "Lamie" should win the award for "the lamest of the lame on USENET." Yes, Jamie, that's you. Then it's even more fitting that someone who may well have caused a first- or second-wave meower to originate the saying, "AWL HALE TEH MITY POAST COUNT!" should follow him on the July ballot. Mind you, Patriot Games has had an output of roughly 69,000 posts in the past year or so, as well. Yads vs Milby should be *epic*. UNABOMBER SURPRISE The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE! Jamie "Lamie" Baillie 25 votes YES 03 votes NO Congratulations, Spamtard! Your eye-glazing screeds that you call "abuse reports" really do say the least possible with the most text. Yads attempts to do the very opposite, on a post-by-post basis, but he replies to practically everything, regardless of whether he has an intelligible comment to add, so the cumulative effect of reading his posts is much the same as reading any one of Baillie's. Even moreso, when he poasts headers or webpages. BOLO BULLIS FOAM DUCK The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE! 15 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie 14 votes Bobbi Sanchez AKA Lady Veteran 00 votes Neither of the above Congratulations Lamie! Of course, you had an unfair advantage with this award. The criterion is that you had to demonstrate that you lost more marbles than a Chinese Checker factory. Well, there is some doubt you ever had those marbles in the first place! I foresee a possibility that, one day, Yads and Aggie will both be nominated for this most auspicious award in the same month. I predict a tie, in such a case. BALSA GAVEL The winner is...SCOTT "WEREO" LIFSHINE! Scott "Wereo" Lifshine 21 votes YES 00 votes NO Congratulations, again, Mr. Lifshine! For suing someone that you met over the Internet about your pet kooky project, you have managed to earn not only the highest honor AUK gives out for kookery, but one of the rarest awards AUK gives out. After all, it's a special breed who actually sues over someone thwarting their USENET obsession. GO WEREO GO! BARBARA WOODHOUSE MEMORIAL DOG-WHISTLE AWARD The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE, TRAINED BY GARY BURNORE! 21 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie, trained by Gary Burnore. 05 votes Maxwell, trained by Bertie the Bunyip 00 votes Neither of the above Congratulations, Gary, for your training of Lamie! This makes two kooks, Dimmy and now Lamie, that are at your beck and call. They certainly make for a wonderfully loony matched set! And they'll even snarl at each other! PIERRE SALINGER MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER The winner is..."WE NEED A NEW FNVW"! "We need a new FNVW" by Pope Snarky, Pinku-Sensei, and Art Deco 16 votes YES 04 votes NO Congratulations, Snarky and Art! You two did a wonderful job of making lemonade out of lemons and then getting the kooks and kookologists to drink it! curtsy Conga-rats yerself on adding another Salinger to your record... OFFICE OF DARTH BAWL The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE! 16 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie 09 votes Bobbi Sanchez AKA Lady Veteran 05 votes Brad Guth Congratulations, Dramatard! By winning this office, you not only beat out another notorious whiner, but you made yourself eligible for yet another annual award--The Bardley Annual Whining Baby New Year--to go along with Rookie Kook of the Year, Kook of the Year, and Coward of the Year. If you have a website, you would also be eligible for the kooksite of the year award, too. Well, allegedly he does, but it ain't loadin'. tries again Nope. OFFICE OF VILLAGE IDIOT The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE! 26 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie 04 votes Charles Lysaght Congratulations for the final time this month, Lamie! You handily defeated one of the most notoriously and entertainingly idiotic posters to USENET, the infamous Chuckles Lysaght, capping off an election in which you have probably won more awards in a single month than any other kook in AUK history. While some might decry this as piling on, your history of kookery and idiocy on the Internet goes back 15 years, so a good case can be made that this is merely catching up for lost time. Besides, you can look on the bright side--there are still more awards you can win! I think he might have beaten out Teh Monkey -- I don't remember how the latter won his awards anymore... "Always Look at the Bright Side of Life" from Spamalot http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qukfTiqyR8 KOOKI INFORMATION MINISTER The winner is...ALEXA CAMERON! 15 votes Alexa Cameron 07 votes John Wentzky Cpngratulations, Alexa! You handily defeated this month's winner of the Doogie Rant Medal for Historical Revisionism to held on to your office for spreading misinformation. Your reputation for misinformation is now legend. That _is_ an astonishing feat. MINISTRY OF CIRCLE JERKS The winner is...BIG-8 MANAGEMENT BOARD! 11 votes Big-8 Management Board 08 votes The Mark Morgan Fan Club of rec.radio.amateur.policy 07 votes The Gun Nutz of misc.survivalism and talk.politics.guns 02 votes Nazicowards of soc.culture.israel Congratulations, B8MBies! You have finally beaten out the Saucerheads of alt.astronomy as the contingent who have occupied this office the most times. So, are you going to push for term limits? Close race! OFFICE OF ILLUCIDUS MAXIMUS The winner is...Jeff Relf! 11 votes Jeff Relf 10 votes John Wentzky Congratulations, Glyph-boi! Your computer-assisted illucidity beat out someone who is naturally incoherent. Even closer... This concludes the announcement of the winners of the June 2008 Usenet Kook Awards. Thirty-nine entities submitted thirty-nine ballots. One of these was from someone whose participation might actually please Fluffy, but who voted for previous winners, not candidates currently on the ballot. Another was a forgery that, worse yet, voted for the person being forged. A repeat performance will result in the forger being disenfranchised. Both ballots where shredded and added to Fluffy's Litter Box. The good news is that the money that would have been spent on cat litter this month has again been redirected to the the COO Beer Cooler (TINCOOBC). The bad news is that it's still just enough to cover inflation. Sorry, no La Fin du Monde this month, either. Can we at least get some Bacardi rum? Not fond of beer, except the virtual kind, but I do enjoy rum & Coke. Virtual, RL, either way. See you all very shortly, as this month's nominations will come out ASAP and then the July election will be held in a few days. Until then, hail Fluffy and may Bob have mercy on your souls! Hey, we(tinw) need a noms update... And now, a special recessional in honor of this month's big w(h)inner, Jamie "Lamie" Baillie! Sara Ramierez performing "Find Your Grail" at the 2005 Tony Awards http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3yRlnSgu-bY Re-sending because it didn't go to the intended groups -- Wentzky and Maxwell must be notified at once! Plus, I had some comments for RADW. Snarky 
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#2
July 27th 08, 04:13 PM
posted to alt.usenet.kooks,rec.arts.drwho,rec.aviation.piloting,alt.abortion,alt.fan.art-bell
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WINNERS! Usenet Kook Awards, June 2008
"The Demon of Mockery" wrote in message
... Hail Eris! Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler wrote: "20th Century Fox Fanfare" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z54ynmUPZ5c The time has come to announce the winners of the June 2008 Usenet Kook Awards. Envelopes, please! BOBO AWARD The winner is...SCOTT "WEREO" LIFSHINE! Scott "Wereo" Lifshine 21 votes YES 01 votes NO Congratulations, Wereo! For not only exposing your kookery in a court of law, but consenting to have your small claim case televised, you have shown that your kookery knows no bounds when it comes to publicity. Furthermore, the televising of your time before the bench and the archiving of that incident on YouTube means that you have now achieved the bare minimum for the "global humiliation" standard for this most esteemed award that alt.usenet.kooks gives out for lifetime achievement in kookery. We (TINW) now present, for your viewing pleasure, the only man that matters on USENET--WEREO! AWL HALE TEH NUKULAR WARRIOR! http://youtube.com/watch?v=l7Gac3AthnY KOOK OF THE MONTH The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE! 22 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie 06 votes Anthony X AKA "Sir Tony Baloney" 02 votes Alan Connor posting as "Tom Newton," 01 votes None of the above Congratulations, Lamie! The "tard"iness of this report is at least partially due to you, not only because of your being USENET's notorious spamtard, but because the FNVW spent two weeks racking racking his brain trying to think of 13 unique things to say about you. That, along with the original report being lost when the FNVW's outbox became corrupted, contributed to this report coming out two weeks late. Fluffy was not pleased, and neither was I. I think it's safe to say the entire Imperial Court was generally cheesed off, Mr. Baillie. What, you thought you were going to sit down? Hardly. You're "Not Dead Yet" for there are 12 more awards with your name on them, so stand right here. "Not Dead Yet" from Spamalot http://youtube.com/watch?v=vBz_WS6CdWc Absolutely made of sheer awesome. CLUELESS NEWBIE OF THE MONTH The winner is...MAXWELL! 10 votes Maxwell 08 votes Patriot Games 00 votes Neither of the above Congratulations, Maxwell! Your lits o' haet including many different people as "sockpuppets of Bertie" and your inability to distinguish between fr0gging and forging, along with your continued whining and utter inability to deal with a notorious troll (and Bertie is notorious, especially in New Zealand!), earned you this award over someone who cried "censorship" when he couldn't see his own articles because of propagation issues. See you in January, when you'll be on the ballot for Clueless Newbie of the Year! Oh well, at least it was close. COWARD OF THE MONTH The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE! 20 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie 04 votes Is Ken Darian 04 votes Raymond Karczewski 01 votes None of the above Congratulations a second time, Spamtard! Your persistent legal threats, bogus DMCA takedowns, attempts to get others to do your dirty work, and running away from tough questions won you this prize. Now, watch your role model, Brave Sir Robin, and learn some style points from him. Fat, ugly, stupid, cowardly, and k00ky, Lamie: Which three of these do you think the ladies care about more? Of those three, which of them is the most likely to earn you scorn from any woman with a pulse? BTW, congratulations on beating both a legendarily cowardly k00k and a promising upstart. "Brave Sir Robin" from Spamalot http://youtube.com/watch?v=AShveV6I_EA LOONEY MAROON AWARD The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE! 22 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie 09 votes Brad Guth 01 votes Neither of the above Congratulations a third time, Lamie! My policy is to only allow someone to run for both Kook of the Month and Looney Maroon on the same ballot if they are an exceptionally strong candidate and are also exceptionally looney. Your sweeping of all 13 categories for which you were nominated this month confirmed the wisdom of allowing you to contest both awards. The Knights of the Round Table from Spamalot would be proud of you. I haven't seen such sheer and unmitigated looniness outside of RADW in many years, and even then, only in overall quality of froth -- Agamemnon can't be bothered with reporting anyone since that would detract from the attention paid to him, and Yads has his own schtick. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBR_HsCfNxo GOLDEN KILLFILE The winner is...GREGVK! 16 votes gregvk 09 votes The Mark Morgan Fan Club of rec.radio.amateur.policy 01 votes Neither of the above Congratulations, gregvk/jitter/malscribe/purpurroterwald! Flaming someone by wishing them ovarian cancer, among other lamery, has earned you this distinction of being worthy of being ignored by everyone on USENET. And he is so very worthy. JOSEPH BARTLO MEMORIAL PATHETIC ANAL PINEAPPLE AWARD The winner is...GREGVK! 19 votes gregvk 09 votes Abbedd of rec.music.classical.recordings 00 votes Neither of the above Congratulations, again, Greggie poo! Your schtick may go over really well on Something Awful, 4Chan, or Encyclopedia Dramatica, but on AUK, it's merely pathetic. In fact, it's so pathetic that you will eventually be thrown into the Galactic Killfile for it. When that will happen is for me to know, and for you not to find out. On the bright side, he x-no-archives, so much of his **** will be entirely forgotten by Google, and the rest of it will stand as a testament to his obsession with showing up AUK's brand of kookology as an outdated, politically correct dinosaur with no relevance to the "real" thing (q.v. innumerable (Literally!) posts about the awards only mattering to a small number of people). Well, if what he calls "kookology" is the current state of the art, I would be proud to have him call me a kook, since he has also described every single one of my colleagues in more-or-less similar terms. Puts me in the right company, to my mind. PALMJOB PADDLE The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE! 22 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie 07 votes Raymond Karczewski 02 votes dvus 00 votes None of the above Congratulations, again, Spanktard! This is your first repeat win of an AUK award, fittingly, for being completely spanked by NANAE and whoever on AUK was also participating. Now, make like King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table and "RUN AWAY!" Alas, poor dvus, he never stood a chance against the great self- spanker of NANAE. Or, for that matter, Kazoo. Ah, well. "Run Away" from Spamalot http://youtube.com/watch?v=GA7IDKWoz2o TONY SIDAWAY DRAMA QUEEN AWARD The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE! 21 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie 08 votes Raymond Karczewski 01 votes Babaloonie 00 votes Neither of the above Congratulations, Dramatard! Ridiculous ranting? Check. Unprovoked meltdowns? Check. Operatic flouncing? Check. Threatening to leave USENET forever, preferably several times a week? We (TINW) could only hope. In the meantime, here is another role model of yours; she might teach you something. sets about preparing a suitable crown for Lamie "Diva's Lament (What Ever Happened to My Part?)" from Spamalot http://youtube.com/watch?v=u9VMImm_61Y VICTOR VON FRANKENSTEIN WEIRD SCIENCE AWARD The winner is..."PHOTON DEGRADATION' BY DOUBLE-A! "Photon Degradation" by Double-A 20 votes YES 00 votes NO Congratulations, Double-A! It looks like all the weird science thrown around alt.astronomy has finally infiltrated your consciousness. It was only a matter of time. "Tired light." Hee-hee! DOUGLAS GRANT MEDAL FOR HISTORICAL REVISIONISM The winner is...JOHN WENTZKY! 12 votes "Confederate Flag revisionism" by John Wentzky 09 votes "Protocols of the Elders of Zion" by Bloxy/Nukleus 01 votes Neither of the above Congratulations, John-Boy! Your original revisionism about the Confederate States of America eked out a win over the repeated reprinting of the most notorious piece of bogus revisionist history, to say nothing of the mother of all conspiracy theories (the grandmother being anything involving the Knights Templar), still extant. All that was missing was the cry of "The South Shall Rise Again!" Yes, it will, but not because of revisionists like you. Well, technically, the "Elders of Zion" are linked to the Bavarian Illuminati, who are said to be inheritors of the tradition of the Templars -- therefore, Wentzky did indeed beat out the grandmother of all conspiracy theories...Kind of. GEORGE PICKETT MEMORIAL TROPHY The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE! 26 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie 02 votes Alan Connor posting as "Tom Newton" 00 votes Neither of the above Further congratulations to you, Lamie! Your multiple crusades, but especially your campaign against aioe, have attracted the attention of NANAE and AUK and earned you this award. Did you get that aioe user banned? No? You did, however, give the admin of aioe an opportunity to show that he has balls and integrity, which is one of the reasons that I'm now accepting ballots from that site, when a few months ago, I shredded them on sight. That's a "victory" just like The Black Knight's! You gotta sever the head. It only counts if you have a severed head to hold up... Incidentally, I'd like to suggest that Lamie be awarded Wollmann's own heretofore-unique award (for, I believe, much the same sort of k00kery) -- the one to which you just referred.;-{P} The Black Knight from Spamalot. http://youtube.com/watch?v=k2jYtRTEaNI SPECIAL OPS CODY MEMORIAL PURPLE HEART The winner is...THE RAMD ASSWIPE BRIGADE! 12 votes The RAMD Asswipe Brigade 09 votes Dr. Andrew B. Chung 00 votes Neither of the above Congratulations, Post-Show Parking Lot Brawlers! Your continued attempts to "plonk the filth" didn't chase any outsiders away from your home froup. Instead, it got you cascade after cascade mocking your efforts. Oh, your work also got you a victory over a big-name kook--the biggest award winner of the past three years, in fact. That's quite the accomplishment (1993 Star of Indiana golf clap for all of you). considerately adjusts the froup line TAR & FEATHERS The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE! 22 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie 06 votes Ed Conrad 01 votes Neither of the above Sincere congratulations to you for this one, Spamtard. Not only did you have to prove that you had cleared the high bar of being a "terminally clueless crusader" that everyone in your home group would like to see run out of town on a rail, you handily defeated, in his third attempt at this award, one of the few people I know who really was run out of a USENET group on a rail, Ed "Coalbrain" Conrad, whose kookery is even more legendary than yours. Lamie will be a hard act for Yads to follow. But he's trying! He gets the Big, Scary Headers just right, and consistently mis-identifies the progenitors (or *progenitor*, as the case may be) of the relevant posts as moi. Posting entire web pages (apparently, radical Islamic ones) and identifying them as belonging to his personal usenet enemies is further evidence of his future eligibility for this fine recognition of lifetime achievement in net.cluelessness. Also, take note: http://www.fortunecity.com/tatooine/...cs/adrics.html The Dave Yadallee Award for Net.Cluelessness: Dave Yadallee (four times, from 1994-2003). I'm predicting a landslide victory for Teh Yads as CNOTM. Sorry, but I can find no record of any awards after 2003 (and as I recall, Yads was a disastrous choice for host in a later year, but damfiremember which -- he should get an honorary DYANC for that one, but it'd be redundant). If any radwers can point me at the correct site (for the more recent awards), that would be most appreciated. BUSTED URINAL AWARD The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE! 13 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie 12 votes gregvk 07 votes Abbedd of rec.music.classical.recordings 02 votes None of the above 00 votes Is Ken Darien Congratulations yet again! It's only appropriate that someone whose most common nickname is "Lamie" should win the award for "the lamest of the lame on USENET." Yes, Jamie, that's you. Then it's even more fitting that someone who may well have caused a first- or second-wave meower to originate the saying, "AWL HALE TEH MITY POAST COUNT!" should follow him on the July ballot. Mind you, Patriot Games has had an output of roughly 69,000 posts in the past year or so, as well. Yads vs Milby should be *epic*. UNABOMBER SURPRISE The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE! Jamie "Lamie" Baillie 25 votes YES 03 votes NO Congratulations, Spamtard! Your eye-glazing screeds that you call "abuse reports" really do say the least possible with the most text. Yads attempts to do the very opposite, on a post-by-post basis, but he replies to practically everything, regardless of whether he has an intelligible comment to add, so the cumulative effect of reading his posts is much the same as reading any one of Baillie's. Even moreso, when he poasts headers or webpages. BOLO BULLIS FOAM DUCK The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE! 15 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie 14 votes Bobbi Sanchez AKA Lady Veteran 00 votes Neither of the above Congratulations Lamie! Of course, you had an unfair advantage with this award. The criterion is that you had to demonstrate that you lost more marbles than a Chinese Checker factory. Well, there is some doubt you ever had those marbles in the first place! I foresee a possibility that, one day, Yads and Aggie will both be nominated for this most auspicious award in the same month. I predict a tie, in such a case. BALSA GAVEL The winner is...SCOTT "WEREO" LIFSHINE! Scott "Wereo" Lifshine 21 votes YES 00 votes NO Congratulations, again, Mr. Lifshine! For suing someone that you met over the Internet about your pet kooky project, you have managed to earn not only the highest honor AUK gives out for kookery, but one of the rarest awards AUK gives out. After all, it's a special breed who actually sues over someone thwarting their USENET obsession. GO WEREO GO! BARBARA WOODHOUSE MEMORIAL DOG-WHISTLE AWARD The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE, TRAINED BY GARY BURNORE! 21 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie, trained by Gary Burnore. 05 votes Maxwell, trained by Bertie the Bunyip 00 votes Neither of the above Congratulations, Gary, for your training of Lamie! This makes two kooks, Dimmy and now Lamie, that are at your beck and call. They certainly make for a wonderfully loony matched set! And they'll even snarl at each other! PIERRE SALINGER MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER The winner is..."WE NEED A NEW FNVW"! "We need a new FNVW" by Pope Snarky, Pinku-Sensei, and Art Deco 16 votes YES 04 votes NO Congratulations, Snarky and Art! You two did a wonderful job of making lemonade out of lemons and then getting the kooks and kookologists to drink it! curtsy Conga-rats yerself on adding another Salinger to your record... OFFICE OF DARTH BAWL The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE! 16 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie 09 votes Bobbi Sanchez AKA Lady Veteran 05 votes Brad Guth Congratulations, Dramatard! By winning this office, you not only beat out another notorious whiner, but you made yourself eligible for yet another annual award--The Bardley Annual Whining Baby New Year--to go along with Rookie Kook of the Year, Kook of the Year, and Coward of the Year. If you have a website, you would also be eligible for the kooksite of the year award, too. Well, allegedly he does, but it ain't loadin'. tries again Nope. OFFICE OF VILLAGE IDIOT The winner is...JAMIE "LAMIE" BAILLIE! 26 votes Jamie "Lamie" Baillie 04 votes Charles Lysaght Congratulations for the final time this month, Lamie! You handily defeated one of the most notoriously and entertainingly idiotic posters to USENET, the infamous Chuckles Lysaght, capping off an election in which you have probably won more awards in a single month than any other kook in AUK history. While some might decry this as piling on, your history of kookery and idiocy on the Internet goes back 15 years, so a good case can be made that this is merely catching up for lost time. Besides, you can look on the bright side--there are still more awards you can win! I think he might have beaten out Teh Monkey -- I don't remember how the latter won his awards anymore... "Always Look at the Bright Side of Life" from Spamalot http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qukfTiqyR8 KOOKI INFORMATION MINISTER The winner is...ALEXA CAMERON! 15 votes Alexa Cameron 07 votes John Wentzky Cpngratulations, Alexa! You handily defeated this month's winner of the Doogie Rant Medal for Historical Revisionism to held on to your office for spreading misinformation. Your reputation for misinformation is now legend. That _is_ an astonishing feat. MINISTRY OF CIRCLE JERKS The winner is...BIG-8 MANAGEMENT BOARD! 11 votes Big-8 Management Board 08 votes The Mark Morgan Fan Club of rec.radio.amateur.policy 07 votes The Gun Nutz of misc.survivalism and talk.politics.guns 02 votes Nazicowards of soc.culture.israel Congratulations, B8MBies! You have finally beaten out the Saucerheads of alt.astronomy as the contingent who have occupied this office the most times. So, are you going to push for term limits? Close race! OFFICE OF ILLUCIDUS MAXIMUS The winner is...Jeff Relf! 11 votes Jeff Relf 10 votes John Wentzky Congratulations, Glyph-boi! Your computer-assisted illucidity beat out someone who is naturally incoherent. Even closer... This concludes the announcement of the winners of the June 2008 Usenet Kook Awards. Thirty-nine entities submitted thirty-nine ballots. One of these was from someone whose participation might actually please Fluffy, but who voted for previous winners, not candidates currently on the ballot. Another was a forgery that, worse yet, voted for the person being forged. A repeat performance will result in the forger being disenfranchised. Both ballots where shredded and added to Fluffy's Litter Box. The good news is that the money that would have been spent on cat litter this month has again been redirected to the the COO Beer Cooler (TINCOOBC). The bad news is that it's still just enough to cover inflation. Sorry, no La Fin du Monde this month, either. Can we at least get some Bacardi rum? Not fond of beer, except the virtual kind, but I do enjoy rum & Coke. Virtual, RL, either way. See you all very shortly, as this month's nominations will come out ASAP and then the July election will be held in a few days. Until then, hail Fluffy and may Bob have mercy on your souls! Hey, we(tinw) need a noms update... And now, a special recessional in honor of this month's big w(h)inner, Jamie "Lamie" Baillie! Sara Ramierez performing "Find Your Grail" at the 2005 Tony Awards http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3yRlnSgu-bY Re-sending because it didn't go to the intended groups -- Wentzky and Maxwell must be notified at once! Plus, I had some comments for RADW. Snarky Behold behold the glory of the Wereo Everyone. I am the only One who matters.
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#4
July 27th 08, 07:01 PM
posted to alt.usenet.kooks,rec.arts.drwho,rec.aviation.piloting,alt.abortion,alt.fan.art-bell
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WINNERS! Usenet Kook Awards, June 2008
On 27 Jul, 11:03, The Demon of Mockery wrote:
Hail Eris! Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler wrote: "20th Century Fox Fanfare" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z54ynmUPZ5c The time has come to announce the winners of the June 2008 Usenet Kook Awards. *Envelopes, please! BOBO AWARD The winner is...SCOTT "WEREO" LIFSHINE! Scott "Wereo" Lifshine *21 votes YES *01 votes NO Congratulations, Wereo! *For not only exposing your kookery in a court of law, but consenting to have your small claim case televised, you have shown that your kookery knows no bounds when it comes to publicity. Furthermore, the televising of your time before the bench and the archiving of that incident on YouTube means that you have now achieved the bare minimum for the "global humiliation" standard for this most esteemed award that alt.usenet.kooks gives out for lifetime achievement in kookery. Anyone want to give the lowdown on this (or the Youtube link)? VICTOR VON FRANKENSTEIN WEIRD SCIENCE AWARD The winner is..."PHOTON DEGRADATION' BY DOUBLE-A! *"Photon Degradation" by Double-A *20 votes YES *00 votes NO Congratulations, Double-A! *It looks like all the weird science thrown around alt.astronomy has finally infiltrated your consciousness. *It was only a matter of time. "Tired light." Hee-hee! ? Sounds worse than Aggy - where's this to be found? And don't say alt.astronomy... DOUGLAS GRANT MEDAL FOR HISTORICAL REVISIONISM The winner is...JOHN WENTZKY! *12 votes "Confederate Flag revisionism" by John Wentzky *09 votes "Protocols of the Elders of Zion" by Bloxy/Nukleus *01 votes Neither of the above Congratulations, John-Boy! *Your original revisionism about the Confederate States of America eked out a win over the repeated reprinting of the most notorious piece of bogus revisionist history, to say nothing of the mother of all conspiracy theories (the grandmother being anything involving the Knights Templar), still extant. *All that was missing was the cry of "The South Shall Rise Again!" * Yes, it will, but not because of revisionists like you. I'd give this one a look too. You really should provide links to the background of these things for the benefit of interested (read: bored) bystanders. Phil
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#5
July 28th 08, 07:17 AM
posted to alt.usenet.kooks,rec.arts.drwho,rec.aviation.piloting,alt.abortion,alt.fan.art-bell
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WINNERS! Usenet Kook Awards, June 2008
On 27 Jul, 23:09, The Black Goat With A Thousand Young
wrote: On Sun, 27 Jul 2008 11:01:57 -0700, pbowles fixed me with a beady eye, and foamed wildly: On 27 Jul, 11:03, The Demon of Mockery wrote: Hail Eris! Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler wrote: "20th Century Fox Fanfare" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z54ynmUPZ5c The time has come to announce the winners of the June 2008 Usenet Kook Awards. *Envelopes, please! BOBO AWARD The winner is...SCOTT "WEREO" LIFSHINE! Scott "Wereo" Lifshine *21 votes YES *01 votes NO Congratulations, Wereo! *For not only exposing your kookery in a court of law, but consenting to have your small claim case televised, you have shown that your kookery knows no bounds when it comes to publicity. Furthermore, the televising of your time before the bench and the archiving of that incident on YouTube means that you have now achieved the bare minimum for the "global humiliation" standard for this most esteemed award that alt.usenet.kooks gives out for lifetime achievement in kookery. Anyone want to give the lowdown on this (or the Youtube link)? Hang on...Weird, I don't know how it vanished -- might've been a victim of trimming, in which case, go find the nearest wall for a little head-bounce. http://youtube.com/watch?v=l7Gac3AthnY "Do I have a million dollars yet, or do I have to get a job?" Hehe. However, are you sure this fellow's for real (and was that trial for real - televised trials are one thing, but this looked as though it was lifted straight from a Jerry Springer-style talk show) - he was smirking a lot as he insisted he was the world's best film producer etc, VICTOR VON FRANKENSTEIN WEIRD SCIENCE AWARD The winner is..."PHOTON DEGRADATION' BY DOUBLE-A! *"Photon Degradation" by Double-A *20 votes YES *00 votes NO Congratulations, Double-A! *It looks like all the weird science thrown around alt.astronomy has finally infiltrated your consciousness. *It was only a matter of time. "Tired light." Hee-hee! ? Sounds worse than Aggy - where's this to be found? And don't say alt.astronomy... That's the only place of which I am aware. I meant, be more specific. DOUGLAS GRANT MEDAL FOR HISTORICAL REVISIONISM The winner is...JOHN WENTZKY! *12 votes "Confederate Flag revisionism" by John Wentzky *09 votes "Protocols of the Elders of Zion" by Bloxy/Nukleus *01 votes Neither of the above Congratulations, John-Boy! *Your original revisionism about the Confederate States of America eked out a win over the repeated reprinting of the most notorious piece of bogus revisionist history, to say nothing of the mother of all conspiracy theories (the grandmother being anything involving the Knights Templar), still extant. *All that was missing was the cry of "The South Shall Rise Again!" * Yes, it will, but not because of revisionists like you. I'd give this one a look too. You really should provide links to the background of these things for the benefit of interested (read: bored) bystanders. That one was alt.abortion. In this .sig, you will find several quotes from Teh Wentzky, including one from the discussion which led to the nomination (that'd be the meltdown). He's already won KOTM, but it's quite likely that he'll win Looney Maroon a number of times before he's incarcerated for assault, and wins his own Bobo. Incidentally, Bob Officer has a far more complete archive of Wentzkyisms, and I can assure you they're all hilarious -- I first encountered him in 2001 or 2002, thereabouts, and raised quite a lot of foam. From his meltdown he seems more rabidly hateful than entertaining - the best bit about Aggy's prejudices is his bizarre efforts to rationalise them (have you run across him trying to cite Plato in support of his views on homosexuality yet?) Not at all sure what that red candy stuff was about. I did like "This case had no effect on my life, except to affect it adversely", though. Phil
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#6
July 28th 08, 08:32 AM
posted to alt.usenet.kooks,rec.arts.drwho,rec.aviation.piloting,alt.abortion,alt.fan.art-bell
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PING: Art Deco WINNERS! Usenet Kook Awards, June 2008
On Sun, 27 Jul 2008 23:17:59 -0700, sat in thee Comfee
Chaire, and didst finally confess, after taking Muche Tea: On 27 Jul, 23:09, The Black Goat With A Thousand Young wrote: On Sun, 27 Jul 2008 11:01:57 -0700, pbowles fixed me with a beady eye, and foamed wildly: On 27 Jul, 11:03, The Demon of Mockery wrote: Hail Eris! Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler wrote: "20th Century Fox Fanfare" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z54ynmUPZ5c The time has come to announce the winners of the June 2008 Usenet Kook Awards. *Envelopes, please! BOBO AWARD The winner is...SCOTT "WEREO" LIFSHINE! Scott "Wereo" Lifshine *21 votes YES *01 votes NO Congratulations, Wereo! *For not only exposing your kookery in a court of law, but consenting to have your small claim case televised, you have shown that your kookery knows no bounds when it comes to publicity. Furthermore, the televising of your time before the bench and the archiving of that incident on YouTube means that you have now achieved the bare minimum for the "global humiliation" standard for this most esteemed award that alt.usenet.kooks gives out for lifetime achievement in kookery. Anyone want to give the lowdown on this (or the Youtube link)? Hang on...Weird, I don't know how it vanished -- might've been a victim of trimming, in which case, go find the nearest wall for a little head-bounce. http://youtube.com/watch?v=l7Gac3AthnY "Do I have a million dollars yet, or do I have to get a job?" Hehe. However, are you sure this fellow's for real (and was that trial for real - televised trials are one thing, but this looked as though it was lifted straight from a Jerry Springer-style talk show) - he was smirking a lot as he insisted he was the world's best film producer etc, That's how he's presented himself on usenet for the past decade or more -- the only poster that matters. If he's not for real, then he's damned determined to convince people that he is. VICTOR VON FRANKENSTEIN WEIRD SCIENCE AWARD The winner is..."PHOTON DEGRADATION' BY DOUBLE-A! *"Photon Degradation" by Double-A *20 votes YES *00 votes NO Congratulations, Double-A! *It looks like all the weird science thrown around alt.astronomy has finally infiltrated your consciousness. *It was only a matter of time. "Tired light." Hee-hee! ? Sounds worse than Aggy - where's this to be found? And don't say alt.astronomy... That's the only place of which I am aware. I meant, be more specific. Heh, I would, but alt.astronomy is SO not my territory. However, Art Deco is the Official Overseer of Kooks & Trolls in adota, and he can tell you all about Double-A(nus), nightbat, Warhol, and the Kook Ship Darla-Pop (Darla being, possibly, a kibologist trolling the crap out of the saucerheads, or maybe just a delusional schizophrenic -- allegedly, though, a beautiful alien captain who will come take away those saucerheads who believe, one day). Not my territory, but their overseer has been most diligent in sorting out the frothiest threads for the entertainment of the imperial court. I've missed a lot of fine detail, that's all. DOUGLAS GRANT MEDAL FOR HISTORICAL REVISIONISM The winner is...JOHN WENTZKY! *12 votes "Confederate Flag revisionism" by John Wentzky *09 votes "Protocols of the Elders of Zion" by Bloxy/Nukleus *01 votes Neither of the above Congratulations, John-Boy! *Your original revisionism about the Confederate States of America eked out a win over the repeated reprinting of the most notorious piece of bogus revisionist history, to say nothing of the mother of all conspiracy theories (the grandmother being anything involving the Knights Templar), still extant. *All that was missing was the cry of "The South Shall Rise Again!" * Yes, it will, but not because of revisionists like you. I'd give this one a look too. You really should provide links to the background of these things for the benefit of interested (read: bored) bystanders. That one was alt.abortion. In this .sig, you will find several quotes from Teh Wentzky, including one from the discussion which led to the nomination (that'd be the meltdown). He's already won KOTM, but it's quite likely that he'll win Looney Maroon a number of times before he's incarcerated for assault, and wins his own Bobo. Incidentally, Bob Officer has a far more complete archive of Wentzkyisms, and I can assure you they're all hilarious -- I first encountered him in 2001 or 2002, thereabouts, and raised quite a lot of foam. From his meltdown he seems more rabidly hateful than entertaining - the best bit about Aggy's prejudices is his bizarre efforts to rationalise them (have you run across him trying to cite Plato in support of his views on homosexuality yet?) Not at all sure what that red candy stuff was about. AFAIK, no one else on Earth besides him has any clue what the significance of licking the red off candy might be, or how it might be done, for that matter. But I'll tell you now, Will Ferrell could not improvise such sheer comic insanity, and Douglas Adams could not have invented it. OK, wouldn't have, either, but only because of the racism and homophobia. I did like "This case had no effect on my life, except to affect it adversely", though. Well, "Roe vs Wade has zero bearing on my existence", but yeah, that's an old classic. See this .sig's bottom for another bizarre rant. -- __________________________________________________ ______________________ Hail Eris! Usenet Ruiner #5; Most Hated Usenetizen of All Time #13 Demon Prince of Absurdity; COOSN-029-06-71069; Official Chung Demon Top Asshole #3; Lits Slut #16; AUK Psycho & Felon #21 Gutter Chix0r #17; BowTie's Spuriously Accused Pedo Photographer #4 Parrot & Zombie #2; Anonymous Psycho Criminal #18 "Lola Stonewall Riot" is not part of my email addy. "If I were a Deep One...blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, bloody, bloody, blub..." "For those of you without hope, we have rooms with color TV, cable and air conditioning" Barbara Woodhouse Memorial Dog Whistle Trainer of PorchMonkey4Life http://www.screedbomb.info/porchie/ "Oftentimes people ask me, 'Why is it that you're so focused on helping the hungry and diseased in strange parts of the world?'" --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., April 18, 2008 Things We(TINW) Didn't Need To Know About Icebreaker, #5: "I expose myself all the time" Message-ID: "Hey Theophan, I need your help again. Will you please come assist me again? aggreen is after me again. He has been after me for a year and counting now. I want you to destroy his character for me. I can't do it." -- Olympiada: Not too proud to beg for help when it comes to character assassination, and Mistress of the Bleeding Obvious. MID: "I think we have taken care of the net.KKKopping in alt.gothic. Could all the kookologists trim alt.gothic from their headers and leave us alone now? It has gone on long enough. I can take care of myself in there from here on out. Thanks. I know how to fight off trolls now. Thank you for the education." -- Olympiada thinks she's had an education, and that means it's time for those nice kookologists to go away and leave her sandbox alone now, in MID: "Who booby-traps a dead end? That's just not right." -- Cordelia Are you the Peter J Ross that I've heard so much about? Probably. I'm the one who doesn't resort to forgery after losing an argument. "You're the one with the extensive brain damage... okay I see. You're gonna be easily to own them." -- PorchMonkey4Life: Not aware of too many things. MID: bf7xh.834$hH2.64@trnddc02 At last! See Joxer The Mity Monkey on camera! Watch him freak out!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_WuaENGqz0 "You're just mad that you got tard stomped again fagg0t. You throw something incredibly lame out there and I ramming it right back down your throat. And you wonder how I just did what I did to you. You wonder how I can make something so lame that you tossed out there so gosh darn amusing when I fling it back at ya. "Here's the secret: Unlike you, I am *not* retarded. You're tardness gets in your way every single time, fagboi. "Are you still crying over your keyboard, c0ckslurper? Is your mouth wide open and drool falling out. Is your chunky body convulsing as you think about how you were once again made a fool of? Are yellow boogie snots running out of your unnaturally large nose down your triple chins? "Look at what I reduced you too, tard.. I thoroughly enjoy owning and abusing you.. Thanks for being so tarded and so easy to beat." -- The PorchMonkey4Life has gone on to re-define red as yellow, black as white, and being run over by a truck as just a scratch. Message-ID: kX3Nh.525$vI1.380@trnddc02 "And no, I did not have sex with my son. But if I did I certainly wouldn't tell you. Something so beautiful and precious should be kept private." -- Kathy L. Mosesian, or possibly not really her, confesses she may be a liar and committer of incest with her own son, in MID: emailer.net The reporter asked Colin Powell (or George Bush), "What proof do you have that Iraq has weapons of mass destruction?" He replied, "We kept the receipts." -- Bill Hicks Looney Maroon nominee for August 2006 Johnny D Wentzky foamed: "You never asked someone who goes into areas of the internet that are only for adults who has an underage id somehow or another if they are a cop posing as an underage person online? I guess lots of people just don't watch dateline or read stories much. Why don;t you go to pervertedjustice,com and see what they do. They are awash in their self-proclaimed glory after they lied to membners of the public. They are awash in their self-proclaimed glory after they posed as an underage person and agreed to do all sorts of sex acts wioth adult males, and they are adults posing as teenager themselves. They make themsleves into liars by falsely impersonating underage persons and by not fuilfilling the words they tell the victims online in their chats. Why don't you read it where they tell these victims of their deceit about how they have been with grown men and such? Why don't you read it where they say, "That would be cool." after someone makes an advance towards an adult who is posing as a teenager? And, where they agree to meet the person, etc. Lost control, didn't you? Is that why you feel as if you need to lie so much now? I see where lots of these false impersonation games are not sticking. They feel as if they can lie and then order the victims to get counseling in the gayblade, governmental, pro-choice tax leech counseling centers. They are doing nothing more than usury and fraud in many cases." -- Wentzky almost comes out of the closet as a pedo/ephebophile in MID: To Whom It May Concern: Michael J. Cranston attorney kook is a dog****er
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