QUOTES- Here they are!

On Sunday, January 14, 1996 at 3:00:00 AM UTC-5, Roma Maxwell wrote:
Everybody loves quotes. Everybody loves flying. Here is the best of both
worlds, a mixture of quotes, humorous sayings poems, etc. (Much thanks to
everyone who sent material in. Email new quotes, money, corrections, blah
blah to David Bratzer at )

"Combat flying is long hours of total boredom interrupted by seconds of sheer
terror."
-Unknown

"I've had a ball."
-Chuck Yeager, describing his Air Force career which spanned over 30 years.

Come to the edge.
We might fall.
Come to the edge.
It's too high!
COME TO THE EDGE!
And they came,
and he pushed,
and they flew.

Logue, Christopher
English poet (1926- )

"When we walk to the edge of all the light we have and take the step into the
darkness of the unknown, we must believe that one of 2 things will happen:
there will be something solid for us to stand on, or we will learn to fly."
-Anonymous

"Captain John Greenhalgh, Army Air Corps: Captain Greenhalgh lifted four
wounded soldiers off the forward slope of Darwin Hill, in direct sight of the
enemy, at last light. He found them by flying south until the enemy shot at
him. Then he knew where he was. Later, hearing a Para officer lay dying on
the other edge of the battle, where B Company were pinned down, he flew in
the dark, with no night vision equipment, navigating with a map and
flashlight. He found the man, brought him back, and saved his life."
-From some book

If God meant man to fly, He'd have given him more money.

The three things that never did anybody any good: the altitude
that's above you, the runway that's behind you, and the gas that's
still in the truck.

[The fourth, according to Jim Sanders, is a field-grade navigator.]

If it flies, floats or fornicates, it's cheaper to rent.

The purpose of a propeller is to keep the pilot cool. If you don't
believe it, turn it off and watch him sweat.

A good landing is any one you walk away from.

--
\~~\
\ \ _ _ _______________________________________
_\ \ \ | ) ___\ Dear Lord, Be good to me. The sky |
_/__\ \#|__\| )________/ is so vast & my airplane is so small. |
____ \ \_,--\ \ \ ___\---------------------------------------
6 6 \ \ \_\ Si Deane -- Owensboro Ky.
\ \
~~~

In response to a controller remarking on the speed of his plane, the
pilot replied "If Robert E. Lee had one of these, we'd need a visa to
get into Pennsylvania".

In response to how he checked the weather, "I just whip out my blue
card with a hole in it and read what it says: 'When colour of card
matches colour of sky, FLY!'"
Gordon Baxter


"To put your life in danger from time to time....breeds a saneness in
dealing with day-to-day trivialities."

from SLIDE RULE
by Nevil Shute


"Did you ever notice whenever a pilot dies because of bad weather,
they're always buried on a sunny day."

Jack Poague


"A midair collision seriously erodes climb performance."

Barry Schiff

(Airplanes are) near perfect, all they lack is the ability to forgive.

Richard Collins
Flying Magazine
August 1988

At the Reno air races:

"You can grab ahold of an airplane here, and literally take your life
in both hands. One for the throttle and one for the stick, and you can
control your own destiny free of most rules and regulations. Well, it
may not be better than your wedding night, but it's probably better
than the second one."

"You know, adrenalin is a naturally induced narcotic, but it's
stronger than most narcotics. And once you get it movin' around in
there, I mean, it's a rush that's hard to describe, and you get it
when you get this puppy movin'."

Alan Preston
air race pilot


The following are excerpts from NASA's Aviation Safety Reporting System
publication "Callback":

On a large jet following a maintenance test flight, the
pilot-in-command wrote in the aircraft log, "Aircraft satisfactory,
except autoland very rough." The mechanics sign-off was, "Autoland not
installed on this aircraft."

"...if everything is going along smoothly something MUST have been
overlooked."

Pilot: "Outer marker, inbound."
Tower: "Roger, cleared to land, winds 270 at 21, gusting 29, heavy
rain, severe turbulence below 300, RVR 2,000 feet."
Pilot: "Roger--cleared to land--and oh, let us know if it gets any
worse."
WORSE?!

"Just keep looking around; there's always something you've missed."

"Get enough sleep. If you can't leave your worries at home, stay there
with them."

"The nicest VFR is just as dangerous as the worst IFR."

No bird soars too high,
If he soars with his own wings.

William Blake

"It's the most exciting thing you have ever done with your pants on!"

Flight of the Intruder
Stephen Coonts

*************
The following statements are taken from Flying Magazine August 1993.
They are a collection of "Rules for Pilots" that Len Morgan put
together from all his years of experience in the aviation industry.

Flying is not dangerous; crashing is dangerous.

Flying is the perfect vocation for a man who wants to feel like a boy,
but not for one who still is.

There are four ways to fly: the right way, the wrong way, the company
way and the captain's way. Only one counts.

An airplane may disappoint a good pilot, but it won't surprise him.

Any pilot who relies on a terminal forecast can be sold the Brooklyn
Bridge. If he relies on winds-aloft reports he can be sold Niagara
Falls.

The friendliest stewardesses are those on the trip home.

Being an airline pilot would be great if you didn't have to go on all
those trips.

The nicer an airplane looks, the better it flies.

Jet and piston engines work on the same principle: Suck and squeeze,
blow and go.

There are three rules for making a smooth landing: Unfortunately, no
one knows what they are.

Passengers prefer old captains and young stewardesses.

The only thing worse than a captain who never flew as copilot is a
copilot who once was a captain.

Any pilot who does not privately consider himself the best in the game
is in the wrong game.

If an earthquake suddenly opened a fissure in a runway that caused an
accident, the NTSB would find a way to blame in on pilot error.

A smooth touchdown in a simulator is as exciting as kissing your
sister.

Tell someone you work for another airline and he'll tell you how much
better yours is.

Any attempt to stretch fuel is guaranteed to increase headwinds.

A thunderstorm is never as bad on the inside as it appears on the
outside. It's worse.

Most airline food tastes like warmed-over chicken because that's what
it is.

Everything is accomplished through teamwork until something goes
wrong, then one pilot gets all the blame.

If it doesn't work, rename it; if that doesn't help, the new name
isn't long enough.

A good simulator check ride is like successful surgery on a cadaver.

Asking what a pilot thinks about the FAA is like asking a fireplug
what it thinks about dogs.

Trust your captain .... but keep your seatbelt securely fastened.

When a forecaster talks about yesterday's weather, he's an historian;
when he talks about tomorrow's, he's reading tea leaves.

A thunderstorm is nature's way of saying, "Up yours."
**********

The 3 Rules of ACM:
* Speed is Life
* Lose Sight - Lose Fight
* If You're Not Cheating - You're Not Trying Hard Enough

[Note: I think ACM stands for Air Combat Manoeuvres, but I'm not sure. If
someone could confirm this I'd appreciate it]

Glider pilots never premature release.

Glider pilots can slip it anywhere.

[I know just about *everyone* has read this poem, but I'm including it
anyway]

"High Flight"

Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of Earth,
and danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;
Sunward I've climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth
Of sun-split clouds- and done a hundred things
You have not dreamed of- wheeled and soared and swung
High in the sunlit silence. Hov'ring there,
I've chased the shouting wind along and flung
My eager craft through footless halls of air.

Up, up the long delirious burning blue
I've topped the wind-swept heights with easy grace,
Where never lark, or even eagle flew;
And, while silent lifting mind I've trod
The high untrespassed sanctity of space,
Put out my hand, and touched the face of God...
-J.G. Magee, Jr. [WWII fighter pilot]

[For all you gliding enthusiasts...]
BRONTE FLIGHT

Oh, I have slipped the surly bonds of rope
A few feet from "The Road".
I whip the Schweitzer 'round so fast
Exceeds the max'mum load.
I've slipped, I've stalled, I've spiral dived,
Spun past the sixth full turn.
"You can't do that!" the new ones say,
They've got a lot to learn.

I find a thermal, turn in it
To try and gain some height.
But I must beat the towplane down
Or this is my last flight!
On 2-3 fly a crooked base
Then crank the plane around.
Or 2-9: pass the hangers then
I dive straight for the ground!
But the best is 3-6 final when
I know I should be higher,
Put out my hand and touch
The passing telephone wire!
-Author Unknown

'Aviate, Navigate, Communicate'

'The superior pilot uses his superior judgment to
avoid situations regarding superior skill'

The Glider Student Prayer:
The Instructor is my sheperd, I shall not wander
He leadeth me beside the runway
He maketh me touch down softly
He restoreth my airspeed

Yea though I fly through the valley of clear turbulence
I shall fear no spins, for thou art with me
Thy have fist on the controls, it comforts me
Thou bestoweth me without cable breaks
Otherwise, my logbook runneth over with them

Surely thermals shall exist for me
All the days of my flying
And I shall fly my circuit beneath Cumulus
Hopefully, forever.

Amen

(Untitled)
Oh! I've slipped through the swirling clouds of dust,
a few feet from the dirt,
I've flown the Phantom low enough,
to make my bottom hurt.
I've TFO'd the deserts, hills, valleys
and mountains too,
Frolicked in the trees,
where only flying squirrels flew.
Chased the frightened cows along,
disturbed the ram and ewe,
And done a hundred other things,
that you'd not care to do.
I've smacked the tiny sparrow,
bluebird, robin, all the rest,
I've ingested baby eaglets,
simply sucked them from their nest!
I've streaked through total darkness,
just the other guy and me,
And spent the night in terror of
things I could not see.
I've turned my eyes to heaven,
as I sweated through the flight,
Put out my hand and touched,
the master caution light.
-Author Unknown

"My *first* wife didn't like to fly, either" Gordon Baxter

"One good hole in the overcast is worth ten published approaches" Len
Morgan

"Eagles may soar, but weasels never get sucked into jet air intakes" Brian
Mulroney

I used to work with a group of ex-USAF transport pilots who used
to always tell me: "I'd rather be lucky than good, anyday"

"Real pilots roll over and slip it in."

I'm waiting to be told how cobras, hooks, or vectored thrust help in
combat. They're great at air shows, but zero energy is a fighter
pilot's nightmare. Shoot your opponent down and his number two will be
on your tail thinking it's his birthday--a target hanging there in the
sky with zero energy.
-- Ned Firth of Eurofighter at Farnborough '94

There is no excuse for an airplane unless it will fly fast!
-- Roscoe Turner

Whoopie! Man, that may have been a small one for Neil, but it's a long
one for me.

-- Pete Conrad, the shortest Apollo astronaut, upon becoming the 3rd man
to walk on the moon. He came up with these words months before the
event, and won a $500 bet proving that NASA didn't write the famous
Armstrong quote.

A Mexican newspaper reports that bored Royal Air Force pilots stationed
on the Falkland Islands have devised what they consider a marvelous new
game. Noting that the local penguins are fascinated by airplanes, the
pilots search out a beach where the birds are gathered and fly slowly
along it at the water's edge. Perhaps ten thousand penguins turn their
heads in unison watching the planes go by, and when the pilots turn
around and fly back, the birds turn their heads in the opposite
direction, like spectators at a slow-motion tennis match. Then, the
paper reports, "The pilots fly out to sea and directly to the penguin
colony and overfly it. Heads go up, up, up, and ten thousand penguins
fall over gently onto their backs.

-- Audobon Society Magazine

Fortune's Law of the Week (this week, from Kentucky):
No female shall appear in a bathing suit at any airport in this
State unless she is escorted by two officers or unless she is armed
with a club. The provisions of this statute shall not apply to females
weighing less than 90 pounds nor exceeding 200 pounds, nor shall it
apply to female horses.

Famous Last Words:

"Wanna hear something really funny, Buddy? I told the pilot I only
weigh 175 so he'd let me come..."
-- The Big Bopper

In Columbia, Pennsylvania, it is against the law for a pilot to tickle
a female flying student under her chin with a feather duster in order
to get her attention.

In Lowes Crossroads, Delaware, it is a violation of local law for any
pilot or passenger to carry an ice cream cone in their pocket while
either flying or waiting to board a plane.

In Pocataligo, Georgia, it is a violation for a woman over 200 pounds
and attired in shorts to pilot or ride in an airplane.

It is appearances, characteristics and performance that make a man love
an airplane, and they, told truly, are what put emotion into one. You love
a lot of things if you live around them, but there isn't any woman and
there isn't any horse, not any before nor any after, that is as lovely as
a great airplane, and men who love them are faithful to them even though
they leave them for others.

-- Ernest Hemingway

"Flying is learning to throw yourself at the ground, and miss."

-- Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy


"Flying an aeroplane with only a single propellor to keep you in
the air. Can you imagine that?"

-- Capt. Picard, in STTNG episode "Booby Trap"

Son, never ask a man if he is a fighter pilot.
If he is, he'll let you know.
If he isn't, don't embarrass him.
-- The Great Santini "Get ready for a fighter pilot".

A busy person has time for what he takes time for.
If flying is important to YOU, YOU will find a way to accomplish it.
If it is not that important to YOU, there is no reason to attempt to fool
yourself or anyone else about what is important to you.
-- Jer/ Eberhard

A male pilot is a confused soul who talks about women when he's flying,
and about flying when he's with a woman.

Ad astra, per aspera.
To the stars thru hardship.

Airport Test: Go through your address book,
call people and ask them to drive you to the airport.
The ones who will drive you are your true friends.
The rest aren't bad people, they are just acquaintenances.

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
-- Arthur C. Clarke

Character is what you do when no one is looking.

Dear Lord, please watch over me, the sky is so big and my airplane so
small.

Flying is like sex - I've never had all I wanted but occasionally I've
had all I could stand.
-- Stephen Coonts in Cannibal Queen

For those who do not feel Civil Air Patrol (CAP) should be Air Force
John Wayne said it best, "Mister, you better find a new line of work."

If it flies, floats, or fornicates, it's cheaper to rent.

In most peoples lives, one discovers that this is a great life and there
are some dues to pay back. One tries to pay this back in various ways.
Volunteering for Aviation Safety Counseling and Civil Air Patrol helps
me to pay back this personal debt.

Of the living ... none, not one who truly loves the sky would trade a
hundred earth bound hours for one that he could fly.

Renting airplanes is like renting sex:
It's difficult to arrange on short notice on Saturday,
the fun things always cost more,
and someone's always looking at their watch.

Science, Freedom, Beauty, Adventure... aviation offers it all.
-- Charles Lindberg

The most important things in life a Your Family, Your Religion,
Aviation and Civil Air Patrol (CAP).
-- Jer/ Eberhard, et.al.

95% of pilots wasted in IFR conditions are buried on VFR days.
- Think about it... burial usually happens about 3 days after death!
WAIT and fly safe!

You just have to get comfortable with fear.
-- 99s at a Women Pilot's seminar

"No aircraft ever took and held ground."
-US Marine

"Turn to kill, not to engage." CDR Willie Driscoll, USN

How about "There are old pilots and there are bold pilots, but there are
no old, bold pilots". - Anon. (First heardfrom an Aussis crop-
duster in Indonesia back in 1969).

"The only time a fighter has too much gas is when it's on fire."
CDR Tom Sobieck, VF-51, 1989

"Willie, how long can you tread water?" CDR Randy "Duke" Cunningham,
after his and Willie's F-4 took a missile hit over NVN and he dashed
for the coast.

"A MiG at your six is better than no MiG at all." Anonymous US
fighter pilot.

"Better to roll the hobbs meter than roll the plane!"
Tom - CFI Seattle

"Two CFI's flying together is equal to 1/2 a student."
- Unknown

What's the difference between God and Pilots?
God doesn't think he's a pilot......

"The duty of the fighter pilot is to patrol his area of the sky, and
shoot down any enemy fighters in that area. Anything else is rubbish!"
Manfred von Richtofen
-Quote refers to why Richtofen would not let members of his Staffel
strafe troops in the trenches.

You're not a real pilot till you take the bus home.

"Better to be on the ground wishing to be in the air than in the air
wishing to be on the ground"
Unknown...

"Once you have flown, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward,
for there you have been, there you long to return."
-Leonardo da Vinci (1452 - 1519)

Quote of a Chinese WX man during the WW-II: "Ceiling and visibility obscured
by darkness."

"A human being is the best computer available to place in a spacecraft.
. . It is also the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor."
-Werner Von Braun

"Every F-4 takes off with two in flight emergencies:
1. It's on fire
2. It's low on fuel."
- Anonomous (Navy) F-4 Pilot

Parachutists are good to the last drop (found on a bumper sticker from a
parachute school!)

Stan Koszelak Work to live... live to fly!
Anything worth doing... requires a helmet!
Riverside, CA, USA He who flies with the most toys... wins!

"Bother" said Pooh when his engine stalled on take-off.

In a world full of people only some want to fly, isn't that crazy...

And Shakespeare, on glider contests:
"And do as adversaries do in law, Strive mightily, but eat and drink as friends." The Taming of the Shrew

Flaps negative, think positive.

I heard it from Dan Murphy